That was a day yesterday, wasn’t it? We saw some awesomeness and there was some unmitigated crap as well. Speaking of, this Thursday we’ve got the Steelers and Pats facing off. Apparently the O/U is a paltry and disgusting 31 and a half. Are you fucking kidding me? More on this in a bit.
Fallout:
-I usually start this by listing the numerous injuries that occurred Sunday but I’m not going to do that. Well, except for one. Tank Dell. What the hell was Texans OC Slowik thinking, asking Dell to block on an inside power run? Seriously! From the replay it looked like his blocking assignment was safety Justin Simmons. Do you know how much Dell weighs? 165. Simmons is 205. Yeah Tank, block that guy that outweighs you by 40 pounds and do it close quarters. The stupidity just bewilders me.
-More Stupidity: Ron Rivera decided that he would call defensive plays, a thing he hasn’t done since 2018 and enlisted the help of a db coach that isn’t out of his 20’s yet. Seriously? (this word is getting a workout right now) And what was the end result? Play single man coverage on Tyreek Hill. What the fuck? And what did Rivera do after the game? The same thing he did to Jack Del Rio, threw a defensive coach under the bus to deflect from his own bad decisions. Everyone says Riverboat is a nice guy but, I don’t know.
-Futility, Thy Name Is: The Pats have scored 13 points in three games. Sure, teams go thru dry spells for any number of reasons-players that are a poor fit for the system, poor qb-ing, no wr’s to speak of-these are some of the Pats problems. But the thing that bothers me is that New England seems to be intentionally dragging teams down to their level and the end result is unwatchable football. Can’t stand it because Old Bill just smirks away thru the proceedings. Just brutal.
To The Game!
Bengals/Jags:
-Gah! Fill in the blanks down below-I’m pissed and I’ve reached the minimum word limit.
Your turn.
“It’s been awhile since Etienne saw a hole like this.”
Well, maybe he should get on Tinder.
That big?
Scruff.
Oh God, Peyton’s singing.
(Nationwide jingle melody)
Shut the fuck up you fivehead
Jaxon De Villes pivoting shades are pretty awesome.
Nice jorb Beaty!
Oh, God I love/hate this team!
Seems to be a common theme..
/Trenton Irwin catches one pass
Me: “Goddamn it! Why didn’t I start Irwin?”
He’s not good on the ray route.
At dinner tonight, my two oldest sons indicated that they had a Fight Club with their buddies in our old neighborhood.
First rule of neighborhood Fight Club is tell your dad about neighborhood Fight Club at dinner in a bit
They had a great group of buddies in that neighborhood, and like most groups they also had some outstanding fights.
Or, and hear me out, you only have one son and he’s imagining the other one?
They are both all too real.
Peter Falk: [shuts book] “And all their anger issues were resolved.”
Fred Savage: “Wait, wait. Tell me exactly how they beat the shit out of each other!”
Peter Falk: “You promise not to tell your mom?”
Fred Savage: “I promise!” [snuggles under covers]
Peter Falk: “Ok. Well, Guiseppe-they called him ‘Slashy’-broke a bottle against the floor and started waving it at Freddy Two Fingers…”
Fred Savage: “This is gonna be good!”
.
Watching Browning, and I ain’t frowning.
A long pass?! We can do that?!
Footballs fill the air!
But still no long pig
Now try passing it to Higgins! He exists.
Holy crap, it worked!
Wasted a wish!
“Browning is 8/8? I’m very confused.”
-Stormfront sports reporter
bosa now desperately wants to play in this game and destroy browning
their play calling is exactly like the bears last week (average distance per throw: 0.25 yards)
(they heard me)
Bring up the WR screens, horizontal runs and zones the sizes of acres!
Just disconnect Taylor’s connection and have Burrow make the play calls!
That kicker’s range is one foot shorter than that distance.
That’s what happens when you run a negative eight yard curl route with your backup QB.
Try to think outside of the box Redshirt!
If you’re that old, and sledding, why even bother with a helmet?
DUVALL!!!!
Worst casting choice in the history of cinema.
Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor is “Walk Out Of The Theatre” bad.
doom: avatar looks like shit
Pick a 90s video game and an early 2000s movie, put a colon between, and rake in the $$$
Diablo:Madea Goes to Jail
Quake 3:The Hangover
Monkey Island:The Twighlight saga
I’d watch the first two.
Monkey Island games were great, but I agree that moody vampires might ruin it. OR cheeky pirates will redeem the moody vampires by mocking them
Super Mario Bros. 3 2: The Search for Mote Money
Mario Party:Sex and the City
Mario Party 15: Donner Party
Crazy Taxi:Dude where’s my car?
DOINK!
covid resurgence aint got nothin on the wr screen pandemic
If I’m not mistaken, Thursday could bring us the earliest Patriots Schadenfreude Day in a long, long while. Go Stillers!
I’m no mathmagician,but aren’t the P*ts already eliminated from the playoffs?
I don’t think so. NFL site only lists Carolina as eliminated, and I think in theory Pats could win out, finish 7-10, and squeak in on a tiebreaker for the wild card. I haven’t crunched all the conceivable tiebreak scenarios, but presumably there’s at least one that they would win (assuming they win out).
But an eleventh loss would definitely have them out.
What the fuck was that?!
Apsirational fail
Only the Bengals can get their QB sacked as a WR.
Day #4
I didn’t start on my scotch advent calendar yet because my cold messed up my tastebuds and now I’m in Chicago. I will catch up with you wednesday night!
The last ingredient to a Columbo martini? “Just one more thing…”
“The Hercule Poirot” is splashes of 32 different liquors all mixed together so you can’t tell which one made you throw up.
It’s the one that doesn’t have a secret revealed in the first 85% of sips
I’m with you in spirits (if beer is a spirit…today is a dunikelweizen)
Rog looked so uncomfortable having to spend time with people poorer than him.
“Sir, could you please not look directly at me? My assistant will speak for me.”
Pshaw. Like he’d call anybody “sir.” Unless they own a team, of course.
stay puft florida man
I can only get so etc.
Beattie get concussed?
It’s just more War Against Christmas when you destroy a Christian Kirk
DDUUUUUUVVVVVVAAAAALLLLLLLL
Interesting strategy by the vaunted Bengals D. Being so open, they double-take so hard they hurt themselves.
did he mr belvedere himself
Tore the shit out of his groin. RIP Kirk.
My wife just admitted she didn’t know what apartheid was. Talk about a dumb jock.
Gotta show the missus wikipedia.
these dumb meathead coaches going for it all the time now, giving up field position like candy on halloween
and they cannot even spell “analytics”, so do not say they are looking at the numbers
Yeah, 4th & 3 and they do a slow developing play.
Dammit, Zac!
Jags easily have the ugliest unis in the NFL
I KNOW HOW I FEEL!
The color scheme is pretty dated, but jaguars are very cool. I think Denver’s are worse, I don’t like orange. And Cleveland’s suck too.
By god, I might actually beat Scotchy in the Vodka league. Unless Trevor and Ridley team up for a TD or 2. But that will never happen.
You underestimated my ability to suck. That was your first mistake.
Wait…
Lets’s go Jags! This could be monumental!
Also, M. Riverboat is dead man walking so looking for logic in anything he does is just silly-nah
Cleaning up the streets, one shell at a time!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJF-gQVlXs4&pp=ygUbaG9ibyB3aXRoIGEgc2hvdGd1biB0cmFpbGVy
Football is a weird abyss of pain, tears and beer.
“Two scores and one torn ligament ago my proud ancestors set upon this shore and added allspice to spaghetti. It hasn’t been very pleasant since.”
peypey looks over 50 years old even with the makeup
eli of course eternally looks like a 12 year old
And Olivia dressed them both alike tonight.
“Damnit, Eli, stop fidgeting! You loved this outfit when we picked it up at J.C. Penney’s back-to-school sale!”
Garanimals!
“Mom I wanna wear the dinosaur sweater!”
Eli is just glad Peyton is willing to buy him juice boxes since he keeps getting carded
“Getting carded” is their code for “juice money stolen by bullies.”
Joe Buck’s ol’ lady is no Matron Saint.
Burping and coughing simultaneously tastes weird.
In case you were wondering.
Just don’t sneeze too, you don’t want burp in your sinuses
Duly noted. I’ll try farting and sneezing.
Pretty sure that’s called acid reflux, and it’s what killed Ashlee Simpson’s career.
As opposed to the thing that killed Ashli Babbitt, which is called “a bullet”.
I thought it was her weird hoppy dance on SNL when she got caught lip synching?
Yeah, they claimed she had was lip-synching because her acid reflux was acting up:
https://www.billboard.com/music/music-news/update-simpson-snl-gaffe-blamed-on-acid-reflux-65938/
You’re correct about the first and third points.
Bengals-Jaguars?
Time to play the shit out of the new Fortnite map!
There is something missing in this photo and it is sad making
You know Sponch gonna be sold out!
They don’t carry it anymore!
Dok’s reaction (artist’s conception)
i know, wheres the bodega cat
Last time on the DFO Primetime Thread involving the Bengals:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8-dzxTsA0M&pp=ygUac2ltcHNvbnMgbG91ZGVzdCBwcm9mYW5pdHk%3D
the O/U for pats/stillers is how much
are they playing two games
I’m not a degenerate gambler like SOME PEOPLE, but only an idiot would pick the over for the Thursday “game.”
Thing I read today – New England became the first team since 1937 to lose 3x on the spin, while giving up 10 or fewer FITBAW points each time.
FDR was still pretending he could walk – that’s how far back you have to go.
Why does our joyless President never dance?
How joyful would you be if you had to wake up next to Eleanor. A good woman. I hold her in the highest esteem, but let’s face it, she was no beauty queen.
Fortunately, she kept that mulish face buried in pussy most of the time!
Ménage à trois, Campobello style!
THIS FLORIDA GOP POWER COUPLE THE ZIEGLERS I CALL THEM THE ROOSEVELTS BECAUSE THEY ARE INVOLVED IN POLITICS AND ALSO THREESOMES.
What’s Scotchy pissed about?
The suddenly rising hobo population in Northern Ontario?
Nothing he can’t handle, just with the holiday crunch and all…
THOSE FUCKING HOBOS
hey now, it could also be sommet about the Senators, and/or that Larry From Regina said
I forget to patrol the switchyards for one week, smh…
https://youtu.be/e0BcVkCbZLs?si=BsOKdvYFgVoTYPvk