Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
Happy New Year everyone. And for those of us that are back to work, booooooooooooooooo. My new years resolution is to keep showing up for myself and doing the work that I’ve, with help from Mrs GTD, been doing to start\keep making some lifestyle changes to be better to ourselves. I’ve lost 25 lbs since May, and am back to my pre-Covid weight. The plan is to continue to loose another 15 to 20 and see how that feels. I already feel much better, don’t hurt as much and can run around when playing sports a bit longer that before. I like feeling like this so, will keep it up.
As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.
Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Today’s Menu:
-a truly humongous 32.8 pound bone-in ham
-a big ass dry-brined turkey
-stuffing (or dressing for those below the Manson-Dixon line) right out of the box
-mini Shepherd’s pie, mini Beef Wellington’s and Pork soup dumpling appetizers
-roasted brussel sprouts with leeks and bacon
-Robuchon-style mashed potatoes
-Hasselback-style potatoes (can’t decide between Matt or Tim)
/then a rather large helping of scotch
Please enjoy your Christmas responsibly!
scotchnaut
Look what Gumby got me! Soooooo festive!
Gumbygirl
Back to the Future Part IV
Redshirt
[runs through clubhouse wearing nothing but a Santa hat on his head and a Raiders bandana around his wing-wang, screaming “GOD BLESS US, EVERY ONE!”]
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
I hope you all are having a good day today.
Too bad Brock Purdy is channelling his inner Giovanni Carmazzi, today
Wakezilla
My son’s girlfriend has a cat. They all now live together. For Xmas she got him a customized T-shirt that has a picture of him playing with the cat and the caption “Not the stepdad, the dad who stepped up”
Horatio Cornblower
Holy cats, Newcastle has fallen apart like a body you’ve dismembered with a bonesaw and then tried to smuggle out of an embassy in one poorly secured trash bag.
Oh the irony.
Horatio Cornblower
“Pfft, amateurs!”
-Scotchy
ballsofsteelandfury
I can’t help but laugh that the Detroit Pistons just set a record for losing 27 games in a row and their record so far this season is still better than Hue Jackson’s first two years in Cleveland.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Gonna start with a Dry January (no really stop laughing) and try to keep it going for a while longer; really focus on weight loss without using New Drugs That You Can Never Stop Taking. Do whatever I can to make sure the White House stays the Biden residence.
SonOfSpam
I’m going to do only slightly soggy Jan, nawt gonna turn down free vintage champagne or similar
Doktor Zymm
Damp January? Mildly moist January?
Doktor Zymm
“Mildly what January?”
-B. Shapiro
SonOfSpam
My Resolutions this year are:
-Shoot a round in the 90-95 range.
-Shoot well enough consistently to lower my Handicap Index into the 20s
-Shoot an adult film short with my lady friend
ballsofsteelandfury
“I can give you tips on filming an adult short”
-B. Favre
SonOfSpam
We also would have accepted “Horatio Cornblower”.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
West By God Virginia about to kick off for all the Mayo.
SonOfSpam
/speaking of mayo
//warehouse dudes were making a lot of mistakes and I was exasperated one day
Me: “Why would you send an 18 litre pail of Miracle Whip to a corner store?”
Some guy: [shrugs shoulders] “I dunno.”
Me: “Not everyone eats it by the handful out of the jar like you.”
/I shouldn’t have said that
scotchnaut
Excellent post, DonT.
/returns to drinking Port
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Now try Aft.
scotchnaut
RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: I downloaded that show you wanted to watch with your mother, but I can’t get the subtitles to work.
DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ.: [sitting on couch with mother] My friend sent me a link to a site where we can watch it, just use that.
RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [opens dodgy streaming site, clicks play]
DODGY STREAMING SITE: [opens ad featuring a woman getting [redacted] by a dildo machine]
RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Huh. [closes ad] Maybe you two can watch some Netfix while I try to get those subtitles working.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
MIL: What channel was that??
ballsofsteelandfury
Me (on vacation, a bit more free with the beer and dessert than usual) (steps on scale): Well, that’s not a trend I like. I should get a jump on the new year and maybe clean up the ol’ diet a bit.
Mrs. Horatio: I forgot to take something out of the freezer. Do you want to go to the bar and get steamed cheeseburgers?
Me: Yes. In fact I want to do that immediately.
Horatio Cornblower
Steamed hams?
Doktor Zymm
This is like the teenage version of slashing a hole in all four tires of that jeep in another country song I vaguely remember.
Remember, if you slash all four tires it can get covered by insurance, so only slash three instead! (Note: I do not know if this is actually true)
Sorry for any Drews out there, but if your name is Drew, I’m not interested.
(Magary in shambles)
Senor Weaselo
I like to imagine that seeing the Chiefs lose on Christmas will instill a deep-seated, lifelong hatred of the Raiders into Taylor’s soul.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Her next album will be nothing but Raiders diss tracks!
King Hippo
Posting to even up the score. And so I don’t get fined.
Senor Weaselo
Oh no. Duelling threads. Are Dad & Dad fighting? Is this what Elton John’s household feels like after the Leafs lose a game?
The Maestro
Whoa. Flacco using the F-bomb on the sideline.
No tap water for you tonight young man!
JustStopDude
Which is the real post and which is the Vichy post?
Sharkbait
That depends, are you in Timeline 1 or Timeline A?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Wait, how can we tell?
Mr. Ayo
ballsofsteelandfury
I’ve had a LOT of Portuguese wine and then cocktails today, so while I’ll be going to sleep soon, you should all know that Aaron Rodgers is the devil and that I almost miss you all.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
You can’t miss us when we never leave
Game Time Decision
WCS
WCS
Redshirt
WCS
Redshirt
Ray Rice will be honored by the Ravens at halftime of their game.
Should be a hit.
SonOfSpam
WCS
We should probably gravitate to Boris’ post-he doesn’t get nearly the love he deserves for the work he puts in.
scotchnaut
And here I was thinking ablest slurs were “pussy who gets killed by his brother in the Bible”
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show
I completely forgot that today was Saturday and that the Cowboys are playing.
Apparently the O/U on “When does Horatio forget what day of the week it is while on vacation” should be set at 4.5.
Horatio Cornblower
Ha, I read that one guys name as “Generic Prince.” I’m pretty sure that’s the title the Queen demoted Andrew to, after all the rapey stuff came out.
Gumbygirl
My favorite Generic Prince song is “Grey Colored Mid-Sized Station Wagon”.*
scotchnaut
If the ref can’t tell the difference between 68 and 70 I wonder what happened when his partner proposed they try 69
Doktor Zymm
THIS COWBOYS VICTORY I CALL IT THE ELECTION OF DONALD TRUMP BECAUSE IT WAS THANKS TO INCOMPETENT REPORTING
Dunstan
and incompetent people from michigan!
fleshwound_NPG
THIS DETROIT OFFENSIVE LINE I CALL IT SASHA GREY, BECAUSE IT’S BLOWING EVERYTHING!!!!
Horatio Cornblower
Also allowing multiple guys penetrating at the same time.
SonOfSpam
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
Sentence I literally just read:
When you have Penix on your side, you know you can go beat anybody.
Found SonofSpam’s winning final Jeopardy question.
https://bsky.app/profile/lowbeetle.bsky.social/post/3kdka4pv5je2x
(Guess Bluesky links don’t translate yet)
TREBEK: Feel free to ask these diminutive spirits for sexual favors, but don’t say “guten Tag” — they’re not actually German!
me: who are the slut gnomes of false berlin
TREBEK: Bizarre little men. You’re still in control of the board
If you don’t know that, you don’t deserve the Trebek sloppy seconds in the green room.
For anyone wondering when a good day to tip your kayak over while on a Connecticut lake I am here to tell you that day is not January 2nd.
Fortunately I did it right on shore, so it was shallow water, (except for the divot I stepped into, thereby losing my balance), and also everyone on shore got to see the whole thing. But fuck that was cold.
Another rousing endorsement of being a hermit and staying indoors!
I did see two eagles, (one from no more than 10-15 yards away), a loon, a kingfisher and innumerable ducks.
Now I’m slightly chilled but sipping hot chocolate, so all in all worth looking like a complete and utter dipshit.
Were Kenneth Gainwell and Olamide Zaccheus still smarting from the game Sunday?
They seemed remarkably disinterested in me. When the first one flew away his manner could only be described as “disdainful”
“Yeah, definitely could have been worse.” – Ryan Mallett
Japan is really having an awful 2024 so far
Godzilla was about to go stomp on some stuff and Mothra was like “yeah, too soon dude.”
Wouldn’t have happened under Trump.
He would have drawn on a map with his Magic Sharpie, and redirected that earthquake to Communist China.
like he could find Japan or China on a map
Great job on the roll up and on the weight loss. I must have done something right this holiday season. My pretty blonde massage therapist told me it looks like I dropped some too. She could be just fishing for mo tip coin… never know with a blonde…
Why was that woman getting Washington Football Teamed by a dildo machine?
Because men are useless and unreliable.
It was a very fine day in Los Angeles yesterday. We hiked in Griffith Park in the morning and you could already see the blimp floating over the Rose Bowl and then a formation of planes went flying over in that direction. You could see all the way to the ocean, and the horizon was crystal clear. Plus there was like zero traffic anywhere in town (except Pasadena, I assume).
Me, going back to work tomorrow after having been off since 12/22
https://twitter.com/Davei_Boi/status/1742169864809103686
(also not having won Powerball)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGYGNo_Cuog
I get the impression Dok has both quit jorbs like this, and been the “you’re cool” person standing in line before.
I angrily fell asleep during Roll Damn halftime. When I woke to pee (for the first time, am old), my TV had turned itself off, so I left it that way and went back to sleep.
BOW DOWN!!!
Turns out I will win my “bowl confidence” pool if UM wins, not even cash if U-Dub wins. Still pulling for the PENIX MIGHTIER, but always nice to have a consolatiopn prize out in this Darkest Timeline.
I have great news. The Bowing Down is now optional for the rest of the year.
Lesser Harbs is going to get his future-vacated Natty next week.
I don’t know about that. I’m digging the doggies!
Love the optimism! I’ll be cheering them on as well.
As a flip side to all this, the guy who will win if U-Dub DOES pull the upset?
Michigan alumnus.
WTF