This Was Supposed To Be Another Win. In. Post. And Then The Jags Lost. Open Thread!

Week 18 isn’t fantasy friendly that much but it does deliver on the Wrapping Things Up front, I’ll give it that. Strouding proudly into the playoffs are the Texans. You could sorta, kinda see it as their rookie qb showed that he was beyond his years and adapted even as D coordinators gathered film on him.

To The Game!

 

Bills/Fins:

-Diggs has been in a tremendous funk recently-he’s not gone over 74 yards in the last seven weeks. With cb Howard not being available it’s a question of whether Ramsey will shadow him or if the Fins will take a chance with (he’s still in the league?) Eli Apple.

-That Apple doesn’t fall far from the “allowed 3 catches for 104 yards and a TD last week” tree.

-Miami is 1-4 ATS vs teams that have a winning record. Seems bad but this is a team that is still on the rise. They are going to be better but they’re a bit over-rated imo, because they’re so entertaining when they win.

-Prop-age: The dust has been shaken off Fournette and he’s been activated for this game. His anytime TD number is +500. Why wouldn’t he be given the ball inside the 5 yard line and not risk an injury to Allen? Five of my $12 DFO bucks are in play.

-This McDaniels kid is going to be in the league for quite some time. Why? Durham Smythe is my example. Now that film is out there and teams have adjusted he’s running some of the exact same offensive sets but scheming his blocking tight end free. The last two weeks he’s gone for 50+ yards and averaged over 18 yards per catch vs the Ravens last week.

-Speaking of, the guy you don’t know that will get the most interviews during the next hiring cycle? That’s Miami OC Frank Smith.

-Allen has to get the motor running, get out on the highway and pass for more than 250 yards. That’s something he hasn’t done since the Bills bye week.

-The key to throwing Tua off his game? Pressure and identifying his first read. Defend long enough and his chances of success drop significantly. When he goes to his first read his completion percentage is a very impressive 80%.

Give me what you got.

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Brick Meathook

Wear an Apple Watch and learn how to fucking sleep.

Doktor Zymm

“miami mall incident” and “miami aliens” are more popular searches than “miami dolphins”

I’m gonna check out this mall incident

Doktor Zymm

Oh, it’s the same thing as the aliens!

Doktor Zymm

Guys. We could totally pull of a modern day War of the Worlds

WCS

MAGA world says that already happened about three years ago.

Brick Meathook

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ballsofsteelandfury

Merry Christmas!

Doktor Zymm

I’m skeptical the stripes would show up on an x-ray like that, unless there’s some mercury in the red dye they use

Brick Meathook

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Doktor Zymm

It’s true that heavy metal contamination of food is hilarious!

Brick Meathook

It makes me laugh. I love that stuff.

fleshwound_NPG

i dont think josh want to play another game in cold ass buffalo

especially if a winter storm is inbound

King Hippo

BUT WE WANT IT DAMN IT!!!!

WCS

WE ARE NOT ENTERTAINED

WCS

You know what, put the Bungles in the playoffs in lieu of the AFC East champ.

fleshwound_NPG

DUMBASSES

Brocky

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WCS
Last edited 10 months ago by WCS
WCS

My bad, coach.

King Hippo

x2

Doktor Zymm

The guy bitching into his phone nearby is an EXECUTIVE ELITE status person with his credit card, OOH LA LA!

Sharkbait

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Doktor Zymm

And he just audibly farted, CLASSY

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Into his phone, right?

blaxabbath

We are KICKING OFF the last Cardinals Talk: Arizona Cardinals Post-Game Show of the season.

LemonJello

Who should be fired? Traded? Cast off into the infinite emptiness of deep space?

Game Time Decision

Yes

King Hippo

Mike Bidwill’s sexuality aside, here’s how Xbox Jr threw that game away

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That touchdown play was literally unstoppable.

litre_cola

Those are two incredible catches.

fleshwound_NPG

fuck me that ruled

King Hippo

holy shit, what a catch x2

WCS

There’s Eli

Doktor Zymm

Amazing how throwing the ball in the vicinity of thr receiver works better!

LemonJello

-Olivia, pointing at a pair of shoes sticking out from under the curtains in the front parlor

Brick Meathook

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fleshwound_NPG

nbc choosing karaoke version of closing time for that playoff chance chart, because why not

Doktor Zymm

Do you think Brokeback picks are autoregressive with each pick making it more likely his upcoming passes will be picks?

Dunstan

Josh is adamant that his errors are hetereoskedastic

King Hippo

8-chan, JUST ASKING QUESTIONS!

WCS

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n00bz

fleshwound_NPG

3lit3 haxxor skillz

5chan.png
Downfield Matriculator

Just posted in the early thread I still had up and wondered if you’d all left. Sort of like hucking a ball in the air while flying sideways out of bounds and seeing if anyone can catch it, I guess.

Brick Meathook

Jason Stratham is:

THE BEEKEEPER

This movie is about who keeps bees

Brocky

Man I thought I was being defiant with my choice in shirt today

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fleshwound_NPG

hit simulate on this crap and get to the playoffs

Sharkbait

I needed to stop parlaying his over.5 INTs into other things. I figured that was the “Free Space” in the parlay bingo card

LemonJello

Brokeback Arm Punt

WCS

YOU GET A PICK YOU GET A PICK AND YOU GET A PICK

C’mon, 0-0 tie!

Last edited 10 months ago by WCS
Doktor Zymm

More Apple??

King Hippo

Brokeback, still off. Even with Strawberry Fields being all meh today

Brocky

Look away redshirt

ArmedandHammered

Safety please.

ArmedandHammered

Fuck.

LemonJello

BLEERGH enjoying the Miami weather.

Doktor Zymm

I think this is the most likeable I’ve ever seen Zeke

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LemonJello

Should’ve added asbestos to his bowl of lead paint chips.

fleshwound_NPG

“first time ever, a playoff game streaming on peacock!!!!”

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Sharkbait
King Hippo

Fiona Apple DID A GOOD???

fleshwound_NPG

kinda not, of course (shoulda stayed in the endzone)

King Hippo

I mean, for every Shadowboxer, there’s a (next decade)

ArmedandHammered

Hmm, I think that was pass interference.

litre_cola

Wasn’t Eli Apple’s mother a lady of the night.

WCS

Eli Apple did a good, so the end is nigh.

Doktor Zymm

But he could have done better if he didn’t run, and he was able to make the catch because he wasn’t near the receiver so I think it’s ok

King Hippo

I wondered if BUF would lack a sense of urgency, having surprisingly qualified earlier in the day.

Apparently not.

litre_cola

They want the Yinzers.

Sharkbait

Sent this to Mrs. Sharkbait and my Brother in law

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litre_cola

Potential? Oh they frauds.

Doktor Zymm

But are they CLOWN frauds??

ArmedandHammered

After today I would say they are ASSCLOWN frauds.

litre_cola

Just a fuckin joke. What an implosion.

ArmedandHammered

I was a little wondering how much of your home was being destroyed during the game.

King Hippo

The answer, of course, is YES

Senor Weaselo

THESE PHILADELPHIA EAGLES I CALL THEM BEING DOWN 3-0 IN DIVEKICK BECAUSE A FRAUD IS ON ALERT.

Doktor Zymm

3 second bleerg!

fleshwound_NPG

fuck that accidental fire at tyreek’s house

gimmie some old school andre rison/left eye lopes hilarious and vengeful arson, dammit

King Hippo

ain’t too proud to beg!

jjfozz

seriously, stop trying to make the olympics a thing. they suck

ArmedandHammered

I hope all the unions go on strike on opening day,

King Hippo

I mean, it’s France. Odds are prettay…prettay good

Gumbygirl

I am grateful for the distraction they will provide in this hellish election year.

fleshwound_NPG

one last *MUTE* of the regular season

Doktor Zymm

Time to write a letter to the Asteroid letting it know about the benefits of visiting Dallas this time of year

litre_cola

Is this a Collinsworth game?

LemonJello

Unfortunately.

litre_cola

I would much rather get the North Korean feed.

ArmedandHammered

Dear Leader drops back to pass, he throws it deep, and Dear Leader catches the ball for the game winning touchdown!

Doktor Zymm

Imperialist Running dogs didn’t run fast enough!

ballsofsteelandfury

Put Mute on just in case

ArmedandHammered

The game is much more interesting in ASL.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[chanting] S-A-P! S-A-P!

LemonJello

Do you think that Rivera’s office was already packed up before the game was over?

WCS

It was this time last week.

Doktor Zymm

Even the furniture is in his garage aka ‘home office’

Doktor Zymm

Settled in with a sammich and a glass of house red, let’s do this last EVAR regular season game of the 2023 season in 2024!

LemonJello

Regular season only:

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WCS

I just want to thank former Stiller Mike Vrabel and Don T’s glorious Tits squadron for their assist earlier. Pittsburgh most certainly does NOT belong in the post-season, and will most likely be rolled in KC.

The Darkest Timeline is Mason Ruldolphing his way down St. Nick Foles Lane on the way to a miracle Superb Owl, giving the Stillers their SEVENTH, and then he becomes a Congressman running under FREEDUM FOR J6 PRISONERS

Now, that said…

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IT’S 2005 ALL OVER AGAIN THE STILLERS ARE IN AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS THIS YEAR IT’S STAIRWAY TO SEVEN BABY MIKE TOMLIN VOODOO IS REAL, IT’S SPECTULAR, AND JUST ACCEPT IT NOW

fleshwound_NPG

mark my words, if its pit/kc

PIT 19
KC 17

matt nagy is going to keep the stiller bullshit alive

WCS
Doktor Zymm

The would actually be pretty hilarious. And may be how Tayvis breaks up

fleshwound_NPG

the yoko ono hot take discourse would create another sun

Senor Weaselo

Whoa, she’s no Yoko.

Yoko’s “music” could be considered a war crime in some jurisdictions.

Gumbygirl

Nah, she’s gonna breed with Kelce. She’ll just write a sad song.

LemonJello

COACH ASKED THE BEN TO TALK TO THE TEAM AND THE BEN TOLD THEM TO FORCE THEIR WAY INTO THE PLAYOFFS LIKE IT WAS A LADIES ROOM STALL DOOR. HARF HARF HARF!

Gumbygirl

Gumby could win 3000 American dollars if the Steelers somehow bumblefuck their way into a Superb Owl win. Not counting on it, but it would be hilarious!

WCS

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Redshirt

Just do Cincy a favor and bitch slap Kansas City on the way and keep Ben away from Taylor and we’ll consider it even.

ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t know about all that but I will say that this year is as wide open in the AFC as any. Baltimore has the inside track but they’ve choked in the playoffs lately.

Everyone has flaws and everyone can win and everyone can lose.

Last edited 10 months ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Sharkbait

Tomorrow kicks off my last week of parental leave. Gonna need a stiff drink this evening

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Someone hide the hemlock