Fetch Your Parkas! Are You Ready For Some Frozen Football?

The Weather Channel tells me that the windchill-aided temperature is going to be -18 in your fairinheight. So bust out your dumb-looking balloon coats and your warmest pantaloons-she’s going to be chilly.

To The Game!

Fins/Chiefs:

-TYREEK REVENGE GAME ALERT: You’ll hardly hear anything about this.

-Frickin’ K.C. is playing their 15th straight home playoff game.

-The Fins need to get pressure but how? They’ve recently lost five starting defenders and those guys are being replaced by recent coach potatoes Bruce Irvin, Melvin Ingram and Justin Houston. Things should be better on O right? Welp, Waddle and Mostert are hobbling on tender ankles and Achane is just coming back.

-The beleagured and (rightly) heavily criticized Chiefs wr corps did exactly as you suspected-led the league in dropped passes. Kadarius-if he bothers to play-will be good for two oopsies. Mark it down.

-Sneaky Difference-Maker?: If footing is an issue my vote goes to downhill, one cut runner Jeff Wilson Jr. being utilized more than usual. Given the gap in talent between the co-starters and the 3rd stringer it likely won’t happen. But McDaniel is one hell of a playcaller that tries to find an edge and I wouldn’t put it past him.

-Starting cb Xavien Howard won’t be answering the bell this evening.

-Cliches Exist For A Reason: Everyone is saying Miami can’t play in the cold. The game/weather stats back this up-the team has lost the last ten games played in below 40 degree temps.

Let’s do this.

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Mr. Ayo

Found a funny:

What’s another name for cuming inside a woman?

Loading the dishwasher!

Doktor Zymm

Pretty sure it’s cumming with 2 ems

yeah right

Class dismissed!

litre_cola

Best 4 yd run ever.

Let’s bet on 1st rd tennis!

Horatio Cornblower

Put $5 down for me on Djokivic to beat the vaccination requirements.

litre_cola

The intl futbol betting is covid like right now. You would have to Hippo knowledge.

TheRevanchist

Caitlin Clark’s Iowa team replay is on FS1 in an hour. Time to eat before I watch that.

Horatio Cornblower

She wins.

yeah right

Here is the answer. Here is where it got too fucking cold.

LemonJello

Miami trying to close the margin of victory for the BCS computers?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

SUDDEN CHANGE

I keed, I keed

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Imagine how much closer this game could have been if Kadarius Toney hadn’t been held out.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That run earned Litre money so it’s by definition the best play of the fourth quarter.

King Hippo

LITRE GOT HIS GARBAGE YARDS!!

litre_cola

Yeah I did!!!! 1 play then subbed out. Thank you Andy

fleshwound_NPG

florida men have been caught in a cycle of suck since marino

pammy_g_red.jpg
King Hippo

McDaniel must be really mad at his team, that he’s not just running draws here.

King Hippo

JESUS HE IS CALLING HIS TIMEOUTS NOW

Fronkenshteen

I just can’t bring myself to dislike Taylor Swift in any way. Tell the cameramen to lay off her if there’s a problem. I think she’s a good kid.

King Hippo

yep, if anything I am mildly amused. VERY hit or miss which cultural phenomena will enrage me or not.

litre_cola

Yy.ep. Genuinely happy.

yeah right

I agree.

hippofant

There are about 74839421 celebrities I detest more than Taylor Swift.

Horatio Cornblower

Can’t imagine why a bunch of mouth breathing football fans/announcers/pundits find an attractive young woman with strong opinions and the resources to back them up threatening.

LemonJello

THESE TUA PASSES, I CALL THEM PENNYWISE THE CLOWN BECAUSE THEY ALL FLOAT DOWN HERE!

WCS

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Fronkenshteen

this is great

jjfozz

Oh god stop with the Taylor bullshit fuck her, fuck the chiefs and most of all fuck kelce. he’s a toolshed

Mr. Ayo

She needs more exposure, in my opinion. I’d love nothing more than every lady wearing bright red lipstick

litre_cola

I need 5 more Pacheco yards for 200 dollars.

litre_cola

2 yards

Fronkenshteen

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER

Col. Duke LaCross

HAIL GAMBLOR!

Don T

Miami is challenging all the goodwill built this season up to this point.

Gatoraids

Hard Knocks if undefeated

yeah right

I was hoping for another couple of episodes.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So we went to see Poor Things tonight. Obviously it was better than most of this game but what the actual fuck.

Redshirt

I know. Its like a college “art film” but with A-list celebrities.

Don T

Very classy of the Dolphins playing tribute to Reid and Alex Smith’s five-minute 2-minute drills.

fleshwound_NPG

other than a helmet cracking, havent missed much since trying to start a fire in the cold fireplace on this cold eve

Redshirt

Miami, have a heart and forfeit the rest of the game.

ballsofsteelandfury

The only thing that makes up for the fact I shelled out dough for stupid Peacock is that they will carry all the Olympics events live and they have Psych and all the Psych movies.

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Last edited 10 months ago by ballsofsteelandfury
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Come on, son

Sharkbait

I’m such an Olympics junkie. My dad used to work for NBC Olympics so we’d watch them all. That’s how I ended up going to Sydney for a month in 2000

Col. Duke LaCross

I convinced my folks to shell out for the Triplecast when I was a kid.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is Tua ok? He floated that like a Polynesian condom-using version of Philip Rivers

LemonJello

comment image

Doktor Zymm

You know what would be nice? If moving the Bills game meant they moved the other two earlier

King Hippo

I mean, I will leave it on in case there’s a streaker. But the conscious brain gets to turn off before 11p. That’s nice, as an old.

Sharkbait

I’m switching to James May: our man in India after this.

Doktor Zymm

New assasins creed for me

ballsofsteelandfury

Psych 3 for me

LemonJello

With Dok, you can’t be sure that she’s nawt talking about the video game.

yeah right

I’mma listen to tunes. Maybe get a dance in.

litre_cola

Been listening to a lot of 00’s Brit house recently. Great soul to it.

LemonJello

Fatt Sackford v. Turn Your Head & Goff tomorrow!

LemonJello

Stick a harpoon in these dolphins, they’re done.

-Old Japanese Proverb

yeah right

This guy?
This fucking guy?

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/pg2Xh8FOSJA
Howard’s not bad for a law-talkin’ guy!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This might be the least close 2 score game I’ve ever seen.

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, disappointing

Doktor Zymm

Not quite a bailout call, mostly because you can’t really bail ice

Sharkbait

Bailout flag is bailout.

King Hippo

at this point, I just want the clock to keep moving

LemonJello

BLEERGH took a while to warm up to this game.

Brick Meathook

I can’t believe I paid $5.99 for this shit.

Goodbye, Peacock.

Mr. Ayo

Woah, hold up. The international breaks are over and you can watch all the EPL action this weekend!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Spam sold me on the Olympics.

ThePirateSloth

Days of Our Lives is Peacock exclusive! All 59 seasons available!

King Hippo

Paging Alex Demote….

yeah right

Please no more walrus snot.

Sharkbait

How else are we gonna know it’s cold in KC?

King Hippo

where’s the FCC when we actually need the motherfuckers??

jjfozz

That was gravy

Brocky

-20 windchill for me tomorrow.

Burrr

Doktor Zymm

“The last 11 quarters” because that sounds longer than “two games ago” kind of like how Brett Farve uses microns

LemonJello

“You spelled ‘angstrom’ wrong.”
-D. Favre

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Good thing they cut quickly to Dungy, you don’t want to leave him hanging

Fronkenshteen

Kudos to whoever decided to use this Stereolab song in the commercial running in heavy rotation this weekend. One of my faves.

https://youtu.be/QqiF6QvSUNg?si=6Xo3rSdD8pd2S_uY

Fronkenshteen

One more and I’ll leave everyone alone. Great band, though.
https://youtu.be/DSXf0RRtSQ8?si=HrJJ9qb1yro_T609

Mr. Ayo

You should share at least 10 more to educate the rest of us

Fronkenshteen

I don’t speak French, so I don’t even know what they’re saying, but I heard they were very nice. Very hypnotic music. Good for dish doing, laundry folding. Probably good jogging music, too, but I don’t run. The best record I came across was their 1994 album “Mars Audiac Quintet”, which I’m listening to and rediscovering now. I don’t know how to describe the phenomenon which occurs when listening to music this dense, but the same thing happens to me when I listen to Ramones records; I hear instruments that aren’t there. My brain just sort of adds them to the fuzz. Like a keyboard or a horn part. Oh! And the singer/tamborine player in the live clip died. I think she was hit by a bread truck while riding her bicycle, which has to be THE Frenchest way to die; on the wet cobblestones surrounded by cigarette butts and bloody croissants. Anyway here’s one off that 1994 record that hopefully exemplifies what I so stupidly tried to explain above. This thing just keeps…thickening.
https://youtu.be/Dlx3eGq3u_E?si=ErVfDhjSL2YKOoZs

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Mike McDaniels: offensive genius?

ThePirateSloth

I love rub routes!

– R. Kraft

jjfozz

R. Kelly

yeah right

I’m actuality watching this shit live!

This is different.

LemonJello

You get German cable channels?

jjfozz

THIS MAHOMES’ HELMET, I CALL IT MAGIC SHELL BECAUSE IT CRACKS IN THE COLD

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like how he lowered his helmet into the defender without getting a flag, and then was allowed an equipment change without a time out or having to sub out for a play, and also the concussion protocol guys were like “this is the first time we’ve ever seen an NFL helmet shatter, but we’re sure he’s fine, game on.”

jjfozz

Follow the script

yeah right

Swinging balls!

Fronkenshteen

That helmet cracked because of the cold, right? That was crazy! He didn’t even get hit hard!

Mr. Ayo

Clearly that was a manufacturing defect.

— NFL

Brick Meathook

Masters of the Air looks as shitty as Red Tails.

Sharkbait

That’s depressing. I read looking forward to that series

Sharkbait

*was, not read

LemonJello

“Oh, I totally read up on this before I’ll watch the series!”

-Lea Michele

jjfozz

Mmmm, I will still watch it.

Brick Meathook

Watch 12 O’Clock High (1949) instead.

jjfozz

Seen it, awesome flick

LemonJello

Who’s playing Curtis LeMay?

Don T

Kevin Spacey

BugEyedBoo

WWII airplane show? Sign me up.

King Hippo

In an ordinary game, I’d say maybe KC would regret all this settling for 3. But Miami’s offense has basically been that one bizarro play to Hill.

Mr. Ayo

I settle for 3s all the time, but I’m fat and ugly, so it’s kind of a win

King Hippo

I had a hard time accepting that I was no longer a 4 that could pass for a 5, if I tried really hard.

/also, I probably always was a 2 or 3

//also also, I never try really hard

yeah right

I haven’t seen a broken helmet like that since…..

[This program has been interrupted]

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/Lorena Bobbitt remembers

LemonJello

Is Patty gonna cry?

jjfozz

That’s his go to move

ThePirateSloth

Maybe someone should tackle that guy