Welcome back to the festivities! Are the pizza, pills and booze at the ready? I’m sure they are. Let’s go.
To The Game!
Packers/Cowboys:
-Huh. I didn’t realize that Love finished #2 (gross!) in TD passes this year. How he did that with starters Watson and Doubs being banged up most of the time and tight ends Musgrave and Kraft being serviceable but nothing special tells me that there is more to come. Especially with Wicks and Reed stepping up as rookies.
-Harbinger?: Green Bay is 5-0 at AT&T Stadium. Of course getting the W today is a hard ask given the way that Dallas has played at home this year.
-Dallas Never Gets The Calls!: Au contraire, mon chou-chou. The team led the league in first downs via penalty flags with a robust 43.
-Reminder: It’s a bit hard to believe that this young-ish Packers squadoo was dead in the water at one point. After nine games they were sitting at 3-6.
-The rumor has yet to be confirmed but Micah Parsons eats planets for breakfast.
-Personal Observation: I don’t want Jerry Jones to have any nice things. I won’t be taking any questions.
-Though Green Bay is on a roll, so is Jaire Alexander’s ankle. He’s a game-timer and should he not be able to play there’s no way Lamb lies down in Arlington.
-Much will be made of the playoff history between these teams and for once I think it’s warranted. There’s been several memorable tilts but they’re also tied in second place in all-time playoff wins with 36.
Show me what you got.
No, Greg, nobody is jumping over anything to hire McCarthy. You buffoon.
Did he really say that?
Olsen can smarm wit the worst of ’em!
Green Bay put their starters back in?
Yeah take that green bay. No obscenely large margin of victory for you!
Poor people on the inbound landed 40 minutes ago and have just been sitting on the tarmac. Gate change so maybe we can get those people offloaded and get outta here!
I’m surprisingly optimistic about air travel for some reason
Aaron Rodgers knows the Epstein flight logs better than his Jets playbook
Didn’t need to see Jerry’s O face, but thanks.
“Dallas has made it interesting…”
I assure you, Kevin Burkhardt, they have not made anything interesting
yeah, I heard that in “Narrator” voice
Put Cooper Rush in.
I mean, why not?
Clearly this is not all McCarthy’s fault. He’s not telling the defense to not tackle and he’s not telling Dak to throw TDs to the other team. At least I don’t think he is. But there’s only one common-denominator in all these post-season bed-shittings during his tenure, and it’s him.
I do think some of those things come back to the coach as he is responsible for their training and discipline. With that said, fuck him, he got lucky with a great QB, and rode him to an undeserved job.
And as you pointed out, he is the common denominator.
“You son of a bitch!”
-Jim B. Syracuse, NY.
Yeah, really sucks when the blow gets all caked up in your nose.
Dallas Cowboys tonight, artist’s interpretation:
I mean, that dumpster is moving forward, so this isn’t entirely accurate.
Their endzone is to the left.
Legit don’t know why I bothered to turn this back on
We’re old and need proper visuals to finish?
Can’t wait to find out what a Dallas Southie accent sounds like once they hire Belichick. HOLY FACK Y’ALL WE GOIN TO DA SUPAH BOWL! PRAISE JEBUS!!
Two years with “Regular Season N-GCp” and he’ll have the record, which is all he really cares about. Rubbing Shula’s nose in his pile of old man poo.
There are still some things we can all, Cowboys fans and Cowboys haters, be happy about.
And Ol’ Double J making this face again in one of them.
If he’s not careful, it’ll get stuck like that.
Turned the TV back on just now.
I see Dallas will have a new head coach next year.
tuesday.
Yes, I phrased that as poorly as McCarthy seems to have prepared the NGPs for this game.
Jerry is busy paying hookers to give him an alibi for any post game murderin’.
48 is also equally divisible by 24, but much less fun
Here comes Dax
When I heard Celine Dion had stiff-person syndrome, I was so glad she got it long after Dice Clay was famous
EYY CELINE, I GOTTA STIFF PERSON SYNDROME FOR YOU RIGHT HEAH! WHADDYA GETTIN HARDONS NOW?
LITTLE MISS MUFFET
SAT ON HER TUFFET
EATING HER CURDS AND WHEY
DOWN CAME A SPIDER
SAT DOWN BESIDE HER AND SAID
WHO CARES ABOUT THIS FRENCH BROAD OHH
That sack was not Dak’s fault
McCarthy not calling plays, he’s calling his wife, the realtor, and the Witness Protection Program.
Having Instacart deliver 50 gallon barrels of ice cream to his house.
Not in that order, mind you.
Am going to the bar to get ready for the next game.
Have fun, man. You deserve it.
This result fills me with glee.
The only guy that might possibly be more pissed off than Jerry would be Qaron Rodgers and that thought fills me with warmth and joy.
Can you IMAGINE the Packers going to Santa Clara and dropping the Niners. After all the playoff whuppins Qaron got?
It would be nice for me too.
well, now you’s on Petronel’s naughty list
Meh, I was given a Pack stock cert a while back, so I don’t mind ‘em too much…
but yeah, fuck QAaron
Pretty satisfying weekend so far, and we’ve yet to even see a competitive fixture
Well, as the pregame said, the Cowboys do enjoy home cooking.
I haven’t seen cowboys get fucked like this since Brokeback Mountain
The last time the Packers fucked up MLK Day weekend, Louis Farrakhan saw a
For $20/month you too can buy the Buddy joke kit. Remember those awful movies you saw in the 90s? Shoehorn a reference of those with your new Gen X and watch the compliments come in!
Did Summer Sanders make you tingly as a 6 year old watching Nickelodeon? Endless joke fodder.
Call now!
48 is equally divisible by 16 ,, ppl forget that
McCarthy returning to Locker Room (Artistic Interpretation)
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/VjgUBs_sRr4
The power of Love is a furious thing.
don’t need a credit card to ride this train!
THESE COWBOYS I CALL A 737 MAX 9 WINDOW BECAUSE THEY AREE GETTING BLOWN OUT.
That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.
Hopefully, this is also helping kill those Dan Quinn to the Seahawks rumours.
Mike McCarthy is going to be available after this game.
That sandwich board outside Lily’s Donuts ain’t gonna wear itself.
Belichick head coach by Tuesday
Packer sideline: “Alright, who wants to score on the next drive?”
Cowboys bout to exceed their new years weight loss resolution by 300 pounds
What did Dem Boys say about Jones’s mom to make him take them all to the woodshed like this?
Fuck you Shoresy
Texas will have to pause their myriad book burnings to incinerate some processed ham product.
THESE DALLAS COWBOYS I CALL THEM MY FLIGHT OUT OF CHICAGO CUZ THEY AINT GOING ANYWHERE
BUT THINK OF ALL TEH AIRPORT BAR FRIENDS YOU’LL MAKE!!
At least its a home game, no horrible flight home, or for Blue Bunny, long walk home.
He’ll need an MRAP to get home from the stadium tonight.
Does’t he already need to be chauffeured in the back of a Ram Heavy Duty, dualie?
!
Gonna need a bigger dumpster.
I’d stay out of bull whip range if I was a Dallas player. Double J is gonna get his pound of flesh.
Several pounds in this case
I don’t see anyone other than the N-GCp going into the Santa Clara railyards and getting the better of the Tomsulas, neither. But I’d love to see Detroit TRY.
As a Cowboy fan, I hate it. As a little Brother, I love it.
The kid on the left looks alive. 2/10
-Herod
Olsen just a throat goat for ANY TE on the field.
But did he play basketball somewhere?
Jerry Jones at least has arranged McCarthy a ride to the airport.
Fat and to the Right.
Green Bay is challenging the call, just because they can
Wow, the reverse angle of that Musgrave TD shows the Dallas defensive linemen looking back and their body language just going, aw dangit.
I saw that. “Look at #95!”
Can Jeral set aside his ego and let Bill Belichick run the Cowboys?
Short answer: No.
Who would kill who first?
That would cause a gamma ray burst.
He cant be GM . Stephen Jones has the GM role down.
Can Stephen Jones be named Assistant regional manager and Jerral call it a promotion?
wait, aaron jones needs 1 more td to tie the polk high panthers record
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBMWcRKQRHc
Hey, Jerry Jones is upset. MORE FACIAL SURGERY!
Not enough hookers and blow to make him happy with his team tonight.