Here we go again…
To The Game!
Bucs/Lions:
-Fill In The Blank: Yeah, we get it, Detroit haven’t been successful in the playoffs many a year or decade. So you’ll be hearing crap like “A Lions qb hasn’t picked his nose in consecutive weekends in January since Eisenhower signed into legislation the Interstate Highway System” or somesuch. The years fly by, who’da thunk?
-Speaking Of: This is the very first battle of overall #1 qb’s since last week!
-Prediction: Tampa will blitz quite a bit. Why? Because they employed that tactic more than only two other teams through the season and Goff coughed up 7 turnovers this year when facing that kind of pressure. Also, the Bucs blitzed at a 54% pace last week vs Philly. If it ain’t borked…
-Prediction X2: Chiefs wr’s will have a lower number of dropped passes today because Kadarius Toney is out. (surprise!) I can’t help myself.
-A Canuck Angle: Detroit’s chances of winning just increased by 5.27% according to the advanced metric SCGT. (Super Canadian Good Tidings) The good folks in Windsor, Ontario have raised the Lions flag at City Hall. Hell, it’s pretty much a done deal now, folks.
-Baker or Bust: Rashaad and Co’s rushing attack was 28th in DVOA this season. They’ll likely do very little vs the Lions stout run D.
-So with the majority of the attention fixed on Godwin and Evans look for a deep-ish crosser route thrown Trey Palmer’s way at least twice today. He can easily take it to the house with his speed.
Let’s get going.
I am enjoying this, but nobody is enjoying it MOAR so than Baby Shanny.
Well then.
My heat randomly came on midway through Q1. It’s back up to 64 upstairs, and it feels so good I could weep.
Set your pants on fire, that’ll warm you up.
DO I EVAR BELIEVE IN SETTING FIRES
I NEED MORE CHARCOAL! THESE FUCKING STEAKS ARE TAKING FOREVER!
I CALL THIS TAMPA BAY TEAM MY MOTHER-IN-LAW BECAUSE THEY JUST WON’T GO AWAY.
FUUUCCKKK YOUUUUU COLLINSOWRTH! FUUUCKKK
Again, it’s a called a MUTE button, sir. Does yours not work?
I am cooking in the kitchen therefore I need sound to know what is going on.
some of us also have the attention span of a gnat
/Other Hippo nods at me
/nods at Hippo prime
But see, I want to hear Tirico! Selective muting would be so magnificent.
Nailed it. Just Tirico no jibber jabber coloUr commentator.
I hate Collinsworth too, but honestly, after Aikman yesterday, I’m almost… feeling a little fond of Collinsworth?
Probably Stockholm Syndrome.
Do they not have SAP in Canadia?
I love the fact that this game is so shitty that we are entertaining ourselves discussing genocidal dictators, masturbating politicians, and the dumpster fire that is next year’s election.
if tampa scores here it becomes quite good
I dunno, kinda like this game. It’s like two boxers feeling each other out.
Genocidal Masturbating Dictator Politicians are my favoUrite ska band from the 90’s.
It’s also next season’s fantasy team moniker.
Ron DeSantis Fucked My Dog would also be good
congrats florida man
Does either cooch have the testes to go for 2 if they are down 7 and get the td?
Tampa just hangs around, like a cabbge fart.
pretty insulting to cabbage farts imo
HALFTIME
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ekofgh3_Vw
The only surprise I’m interested in from Jimmy Fallon is news of his surprisingly gruesome demise.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SW4Unszk_1s
This, too.
Death went to claim Fallon but halfway through the ride down to Hades, he wrapped his car around a tree.
Bleh, thanks to balls forcing the mental image of Ted Cruise ‘baiting in the Senate, I need something to cheer me up….
So, Kirk Douglas’ Paths Of Glory, Dien Bien Phu or roll the dice and see if Moonfall’s as batshit crazy as people have made it out to be?
Well, I know how the middle one ends, so that one’s out.
lol, that’s one of the reasons why I want to watch that. The third option’s iffy too, because Emmerich has been crap since like The Day After Tomorrow…. Ooooh, The Day After’s also a cheerful option I may (re)watch.
It’s a blast!
Fail-Safe
Threads!
Evans decided to catch this week.
Baker trickery!
The Detroit Lions are my least favorite team that is remaining in the playoffs
Something that I never thought I would say in my lifetime
I mean I was alive in 1991, just too young to follow football or shit talk Detroit
Two Lions OLineman down? They’re boned.
Maybe not today, but in Santa Clara? OY
I just thought that as well. Losing your centre is problematic.
That was a good doink
I sure do love when DOINK graces us with its presence during the postseason.
“Look, Lise. If you pause here, you can see the exact moment his heart rips in two.”
McDOINKIN
PRAISE DOINKSHIR MINION OF SHANK’LOR
HAIL DOINKLOR
Peacock appears to have a delay.
Doink!
Look, I don’t hate Detroit the way I hate GB, but I could do with less Goff fluffing
“These qb’s aren’t gonna fluff themselves.”
-C. Collinsworth, applying the KY
Just tuned in, have the Bucs turned into Pumpkins?
They’re at the Kombucha Squash stage so there’s still time to reverse the process.
Who would’ve thought that a Ted Cruz with Somehow Even Less Charisma wasn’t enough to get someone the Republican Nomination.
Honestly I was a little surprised he didn’t have more support than Haley. Politics of cruelty have been pretty effective in the GOP.
They already have that guy.
And unfortunately for all of you, a spare “that guy” in case of emergency. There’s a reason why ole’ Junior has been a bit more visible of late 😉 Well, also there’s the issue of an unpopular enough sitting president that (either) Trump has a good shot at getting back in the White house and a decent shot at getting enough of the protest vote back the Dems got last time to do that in a landslide.
The problem is that (from my outsiders’ perspective), he was positioning himself to court the same crowd as Trump, perhaps hoping that someone/somethng would make Donnie boi to drop out of the race. Unfortunately, after the first primary showed that I’ve got a better chance of my wife discovering time travel and bringing prime Monica Belucci for some “fun” than Ron to win enough support to be at least viable (in case Trump got punted from the race), all the never-Trumpers’ hopes rest with a literal idiot, I mean “Ambassador” Haley. *prayers for an asteroid intesify*
DeSantis has zero/negative charisma. Just weird. The more people saw him, the less they liked him.
I’d say it’s zero charisma, because (again from an outsiders’ POV) that he’s just like an Asylum knock-off movie. Everyone knows about them, but the few people that actually sat through one can’t remember anything outside of a vague memory of excessive cheapness.
At least when I saw Ted Cruz, I wanted to drop-kick my TV 😀
https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2023/03/ron-desantis-allegedly-chocolate-pudding-with-three-fingers.html
I agree, I’m saying when he first announced, I thought he made sense as Trump lite. The point of the more people saw of him the less they liked him was spot on.
And a shot with Monica Belucci sounds like heaven.
GOP is currently 1/2 Pro-Trump, 1/3 Anti-Trump and 1/6 Undecided. The only winning argument to win the 1/6 and chip away the 1/2 is to argue that Trump wants to be the next Grover Cleveland but he’ll just be the next Barry Goldwater, Adlai Stevenson, William Jennings Bryan and Henry Clay, Trump has no path to winning in November and a vote for 4 more years of Donald Trump is a vote for 4 more years of Joe Biden.
Unfortunately, that argument would’ve only worked before the Primaries started. Now it will result in essentially this:
Joe’s trial Idiocracy (youtube.com)
The math checks out
and hes so little
– Deanna Favre, to her sex therapist
I saw a bumper sticker that said “Ted Cruz ate my son” and I kinda want one
Unrelated: Thanks unnamed sound editor guy for slipping a hint (namely, repeated sounds of a 1911’s hammer getting cocked, while someone’s waving a goddamn Glock around) that I shouldn’t have my hopes up for The Night Agent.
When I was in high school the term “cocked” meant “drunk”, which I thought was dumb then and still do.
If that’s the Netflix show you’re referring to let me save you about 10 hours: It sucks.
Yep, unfortunately it’s wifey’s turn to pick a tv show so unless she gives up on this crap, I’ve still got 7 hours’ worth of boredom and suckage still ahead of me 😀
Interesting choice on the radio side to air an advert for “Mow-vember” and how it benefits male cancer screenings. In November.
Woooohooo LioUns!
it’s fuck or walk time, and they done chose FUCK
Baby Buster looks warmed up now. Hold onto your butts!
Smoker heating up. Test run with two small steaks. Pray for me.
also, Mrs. Fozz is certifiable insane.
Baker vs Goff
Just turn the personal foul guidelines back 20 or 30 years. TBI, what’s that?
We interrupt this playoff tilt to announce that human-clone-hybrid Ron DeSantis is prepping to drop out of the Presidential race.
Did he take his heels off?
Damn a better joke would have been “good he needs time to cool his heels”
He politely shook his wife’s hand, and told her he’s returning to stasis. He’ll return when “hoo-mans” are ready for his species.
Seems like an odd time to stop. Wonder if something damaging is about to come out? It’s hard to imagine anything scandalous would end a Republican campaign, he’d pretty much have to bite a baby’s head off on live tv before that crowd would be shocked.
I read something whereby his campaign was burning through cash so fast that it couldn’t be replenished by the rubes/powers that be.
I wonder if he cut a backroom deal with Trump for a cabinet position or something in exchange for an endorsement.
Considering he’s immediately endorsing him…yep.
Or maybe just the realization that he’ll get trounced, so why risk what little dignity and respect he has in the vain hope that he’s got a shot in 2028?
Or he ran out of money early, with the big donors trying to push that scarecrow Haley as an “viable” alternative to the covfefe in chief?
These idiots have decided it’s almost certainly Trump again so a) the money has dried up except for one alternative (Haley, an actual moron) and b) they know that if they want to try again they have to fall behind Trump or risk being called RINOs destined to live out their days like Chris Christie (lite, obviously).
You know how a lot of women are told that they would be prettier if they just put on some makeup and smiled more? The reverse is true for this sideline reporter.
Today’s weather: festive
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sn4UNTw6rVI
Honestly, I’m wondering what did he actually do to get himself killed, since sadly “being a psycho with a lot of blood on his hands” covers way too regimes (backed one of the great powers… or even the petro-dollars in the Gulf)
Idi Amin and this guy got together over lunch and backgammon to brainstorm human barbeque ideas.
Which, again, wouldn’t have really mattered (if it were true) unless he did something that ran afoul of <insert major political party / corporation here>. After all, hiding Nazis, arranging for your political opponents to take a one-way flight over the South Atlantic, Pol Pot’s murder sprees, the perpetual shitshow that is Haiti, Castro, the Kims in the Shiny Happy People’s Republic of MOSTBESTEST Korea, the somewhat better US-backed regimes in Samsunglandia and NVIDIAstan……
… the list goes on’n’on…. As long as you play ball, you can bury as many (preferably non-white, but it’s negotiable) people as you want .
On a brighter note – apparently there’s now a 12.7×55 round out there and the crazy Russian buggers managed to squeeze it into an assault rifle AND an assault revolver.
Fish and tatter stew in the clay pot.
Now I’m going into mental defalade for the rest of the evening.
I saw some Pacers players at the department store last night. None were Mathurin so I just strolled passed.
I, too, am lacking vegetables.
I’m watching Air Bud.
It seems to carry much more of the spirit that sports is competition to, in general, see which men are most scarred.
Wait.. I thought that was just some SNL skit. There was actually a movie about a dog playing basketball?!
Dude there’s like a whole series of them.
No way that made enough money to start a franchise.
Update: Enough money for a franchise and copycats… Maybe humanity self-immolating in a nuclear war or Earth getting reset by an asteroid strike ain’t that bad after all
… also I see the “edit” function is still borked
I really want to eat a vegetable right now. You may find this hard to believe, but going I haven’t exactly maintained a healthy diet while visiting Kentucky where everything to do is either horse related or distillery related. And it was way to cold and snowy to do horse stuff.
I had a salad last night so I think I’m covered for the week.
I did have one salad, but it included deviled eggs and sausage gravy so pretty sure it doesn’t count.
Also doubting that fruited sour ales count as fruit
Well, you can have the best of both worlds – find a place that does “proper” * Olivier salad. It’s got enough vegetables to count as salad, but enough calories to actually make you feel good 😀
*For context to potentially confused DFOers, just like with “the best pizza in NYC”, every establishment (and family for that matter) consider their own recipe to be the real one, with everything else being just a pale imitation
I had a side of broccoli, and I’m set till the Fourth of July.
Al Michaels has left the chat
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly having breakfast right now (artist’s conception):
The Caitlin Clark Hawkeyes are playing and the refs are letting everything go-to the point that I’m a bit a’feared for a few of the participants.
Holy shit. Scoreless at the half.
We might actually have a shot at this.
It’s Solanke time!
Injure all of them. I will start a list 1st Dias, then Darwin, then VVD, then Alisson.
“We”
I am attempting to smoke steaks on the smoker my son got for his birthday. Bonus – my inlaws are coming over. So, I’m thinking about getting shit faced.
Will be grilling steaks for dinner which reminds me that I need to shovel out to the grill
I am simultaneously incredibly hung over and not nearly as hung over as I probably should be given what I drank last night.
Hey now, I feel like I got away with one last night. I should have that craft beer headache but do not. I think I will take some edibles today as my folks are here for the weekend from Phoenix.
How do they like it there? I’d like to start spending part of my winters either there in Tucson, or New Mexico, maybe Caracas, Venezuela.
Oh they and my inlaws both live there in the winter. Basically the retirees just get drunk every day at “happy hours”. The house in Phoenix will be mine when I retire as I plan to follow suit.
I personally think Phoenix sucks. I thought Tucson was pretty nice, and Flagstaff sounds pretty nice too. New Mexico is definitely nice.
The urban sprawl in Phoenix is a negative for me. I really enjoyed Tucson but found Flagstaff too cold. (it’s 10 degrees cooler than Tucson today)
Tucson is great.
/Ducks Blax’ tomatoes
Flagstaff is beautiful, but it’s cold in the winter. I’m assuming that’s what’s you want to get away from.
Jerome is a strange spot so anywhere around there is cool.
So is Bisbee. You should check that out.
Usually when I get that it means I’m still a little drunk. About an hour or two later, and it’s Carpenter Time!
You’ve only just begun to live?
I finished watching last night’s game with one eye open. BUT, feeling refreshed today, despite the whisky and bubbly 🙃
Was it Barefoot bubbly?
¡jamás! A Martini and Rossi rosé that was 👌🏼
I think areola broke his nose
Certainly took a hell of a shot to the face.
holy shit, that was some kind of finish
Each and every one of the above comments are also things that you could overhear in the champagne room at a strip club.
This thread needs to make the Tuesday post
hippo, why would Moyes sub out Cornet for a wingback in Ben Johnson? I can see making a move like that to preserve a point against Liverpool or Spurs or something, but Sheffield? What gives? And why Cornet instead of old man Ings, who is running around out there with pigeon shit on his shoulders because he’s already a statue? I am confuse-ed.
bad process, good result!
sorry, I fell asleep at HT of the nightcap. House too cold, I couldn’t bear to pokemy head out (PHRASING)
Hippo: [wakes up] “How the hell did I get these scratches on my junk?”
Noodles: [nervously looks away]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0Vb6V7GOa0&t=7484s
Divisional Round history!
I remember that! It was New Years Eve, Gumby and I watched it in the bar at the William Penn Hotel. We were pre-gaming for a party that night in the ballroom. Jesus, that was a bacchanal! Hundreds of completely shitfaced Yinzers. Good time!