Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to [in bed].
Unknown

This is about being pegged, right? Think we need balls to weight in here.

As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

---

So do we have a name for the Brick sub? I nominate the S.S. Kolber to honor the matron saint
Sharkbait

---

---

Just finished my final interview for job I actually want….and now the waiting. I never feel like I did well in interviews, lucky for me I’m pretty good at making myself not think about things that already happened.
Doktor Zymm

---

Found a funny;

It probably feels so good to flip up your headset mic to yell at someone on the field and then flip it back down to talk to the boys in the booth
rockingdog

---

My sleep schedule is entirely fucked. Staying up late playing Civ should fix that, right?
Doktor Zymm

---

---

Redshirt
January 22, 2024 7:24 pm
Titans got Bengals OC Callahan. My condolences.
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/titans-plan-to-hire-brian-callahan-as-head-coach-former-bengals-oc-to-replace-mike-vrabel-in-tennessee/

Redshirt

---

One of my New Year’s resolutions is to stop paying so much attention to political bullshit, and use the time more productively by watching more pornography.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

---

Some people consider Citizen Kane the greatest movie ever made, but in reality it’s Mad Max: Fury Road.
BugEyedBoo

---

I wish I was young enough and located well enough to go out somewhere and make really poor decisions
Doktor Zymm

---

Can’t believe that professional tennis has not adopted my suggestion that players from Russia and Belarus be announced as from “parts unknown” like an old-school pro wrestler.
Dunstan

---

At least I’m not whatever Boeing middle management sap is gonna be the fall guy for the MAX fuckups. Cause you know it’s not gonna be the upper management folk who are actually responsible, and even if it was they’re probably good on assets and could just retire.

If I had spare cash I would probably buy Boeing stock right about now, no matter how toxic they are on the commercial airliner market the US will always bail them out because we need them for national defense

The Venn diagram of competent people and people who have jobs is NAWT a circle
Doktor Zymm

---

So i was talking with my mother yesterday, you know since we picked a date to have dad admitted to this really great care facility. And she agreed to it two weeks ago.

And now she’s hedging. To say I’m furious is like saying the Balrog can be grumpy.

I relayed this to my sisters via email and got nothing back.

If this gets delayed or cancelled, I’m writing my family a very nice email that says I’ll be talking to them later in the year, as this has caused so much anger, fury, and stress in my life and that of my immediate family’s.
jjfozz

---

I’ll admit it. Today I was cut off by a Tesla. I sped up to him and yelled “YOU’RE A FUCKING CUNT!” I’m pretty sure he got the message.

I’m off to see how much it costs to have two side by side .50 caliber machine guns mounted on the hood of a Toyota Camry.

I’ve had enough.
jjfozz

---

---

Our office is switching support programs today, so we can’t bill anything or add documents to the files, or do much of anything that involves documentation.

Suffice it to say I’ll be leveling up in Fortnite and catching up significantly on the Immaculate Grid for baseball.
Horatio Cornblower

---

It would be great if there was a job interview that just involved listening.

---

---

So we’ve reached a transition at work.

My number one is retiring on Friday after 23 years of working together.
We’ve gone through every life event imaginable together.
I’m happy as hell for him, especially since his wife is still working and makes huge bank.
I’m promoting number three into a lead position.
He’s earned it.
He’s a Worker.

I’m grooming him to take over my spot when I retire. He’s a captain now.

He’s going to be so good at this.
yeah right

---

As a supervisor I had to take annual refresher training yesterday on Time and Attendance validation procedures on the website. They call it “T&A” training and I giggle and have inappropriate thoughts whenever they do.
2Pack

---

My wife is on an elementary school zoom call. I am near suicidal listening to this.
litre_cola

---

Mrs. Horatio (returning from another session of metal detecting with nothing but nails and oxen shoes): Someday I’d really like to find a treasure.

Me (adding maple bitters to my hot chocolate): I thought I was your treasure.

Mrs. Horatio: Shut up.
Horatio Cornblower

---

I really hope the Falcons call Belichick to let him know he had the lead for the head coaching spot and blew it.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

---

$18.3 million for compensatory damages.

It’s pretty hilarious watching MSNBC trying to live broadcast the reading of a verdict, which takes fucking forever.

$65 million punitive.

$83.3 million in total.
Horatio Cornblower

---

At some point these constant losses at trial are going to make Trump stroke out, and that is going to be a great day for America, and indeed the world.

Or so I tell myself.
Horatio Cornblower

---

Found a funny:

Whats the difference between a small child and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would NEVER let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

---

My second in the shop retired today.

23 years working with this man.

In retirement a man has a name.

His name is Andre.

We’ve got a surprise party for him tomorrow night. I get to meet his family and friends and he has no idea this is going to happen.

And for some reason it’s at a Black Angus steakhouse.

I’mma blog this shit.[ editor, we’re waiting]
yeah right

---

January 26, 2024 11:06 pm
Guys, I am having a bad time. Brother in law is dying, my sister is obviously distraught, and now my older brother called me a while ago to tell me my younger brother is in intensive care, intubated. They don’t know if he had a seizure, or what it is. They said the cat scan or mri or whatever they did doesn’t show brain damage, so it’s probably not a stroke. What the actual fuck? I talked to him two days ago, he was fine. He’s only 61. Older brother is not in good health either. He had to put up with younger brothers wife all day, and to put it in kind terms, she’s cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Completely nuts, my brother was waiting until their daughter graduated from college this spring to leave. Jesus Christ, it’s like we’re being punished.
Gumbygirl

---

---

Mrs. Horatio and I go to our local for dinner. We just get settled at the bar when the guy next to me stands up to head to the bathroom, staggers, then falls over backwards onto the floor despite the best efforts of a couple of other patrons to catch him.

I look at his seat and he’s had at least one mixed drink and a martini, as has his wife/SO. They also have a martini to go, which apparently is a thing and really shouldn’t be.

Anyway, guy assures everyone that he’s fine, which is a lie, then proceeds to bicker with his the wife /SO. Bar staff has gathered in front of them as they get ready to leave, I’m getting ready to tackle him if he tries to drive, and the couple next to them gets up and insists that they drive them home. Talk about unsung heroes.

Anyway, they do, and when they get back I buy their drinks. They finish those and the people next to me buy them another round. And at this point I suspect that we might be in one of those horror stories where no one ever leaves the bar, they just keep buying each other drinks and then someone brings them home and then all of a sudden they’re back in the bar and having to drive someone else home.

And that’s when we bailed out, because I’ve read those stories and, unlike all those dipshit teenagers, when the going gets tough I get going.

The other way, as fast as my feet can carry me.
Horatio Cornblower


---

Ey ho! Yo! what goin ogon. on?
jjfozz

---

Tried out my new mud boots today, and I am happy to announce I did NAWT get stuck in the ankle deep+ mud!
Doktor Zymm

---

Blaxx’s pool reminded me of the time when I had just started at the warehouse-there was a office clerk that liked to play little jokes on folks and make fun of them. So I decided to play one on her.

Me: [on Monday] “Did you hear Becky’s having a pool party on Friday?”

Some Guy: “Oh, that’s great. Weather is supposed to be nice.”

Other Guy: “I never get invited to anything!”

Me: [on Tuesday] “Are you bringing any snacks to Becky’s pool party? I’m bringing chips but I can bring something else.”

Some Other Guy: “Nah, just bringing beer.”

/Wednesday

Becky: [over the PA] “I’m not having a pool party on Friday!”

/Thursday

Me: “I heard the pool party is back on-Becky changed her mind. What time are you going?”

Other Guy: “Probably around 4, just have to go home and get my bathing suit.

/Friday

Becky: [over the PA] “I’M NOT HAVING A POOL PARTY!”

Me: [to Becky, later] “It’s too bad you had to cancel your pool party, a lot of people are disappointed.”

Becky: “GODDAMNIT! I WAS NEVER GOING TO HAVE A POOL PARTY!”

Me: “Then why was everyone saying that you were going to have one?”

Etc., etc.
scotchnaut

---

---

200 second half yards and nothing to show for it is pretty impressive. It’s like dating 12 people in college and still being a virgin.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

---

I hope Travis Kelce goes to the Grammys and they cut to him in the balcony every time Taylor wins something.
Horatio Cornblower

---

Wow that was the unprotected sex in Haiti of decisions by Lamar there.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

---

Maestro needs to explain HOW THE FUCK a Caesar salad is a sandwich…
ballsofsteelandfury

---

See, Gisele, LAMAR! can throw the ball and catch the ball!
BrettFavresColonoscopy

---

Damn, I should have worn some flannel for Lamar! today. Problem is, I don’t own any.
King Hippo

---

Biggest blown lead by lions since Scar in the Lion King
Gatoraids

---

---

THIS SECOND HALF I CALL THE REFRACTORY PERIOD BECAUSE THE LIONS FUCKED TOO HARD AND CLIMAXED TOO SOON.
Senor Weaselo

---

THESE DETROIT LIONS I CALL THEM A MORMON HOUSEWIFE BECAUSE THEY WERE A LITTLE AWKWARD FLICKING THAT FLEA AND PROBABLY FEEL BAD NOW
BrettFavresColonoscopy

---

THESE COMMENTATORS I CALL THEM ALANIS MORISSETTE BECAUSE THEY APPEAR TO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT IS AND IS NOT IRONY
BrettFavresColonoscopy

---

This is going to be the biggest choke job since the 500!

– Houston
ballsofsteelandfury

---

THIS THIRD QUARTER I CALL IT THE EDSEL, BECAUSE IT’S DESTROYING DETROIT!!
Horatio Cornblower

---

Me: “Were I a betting man we’d be swimming in cash right now.”

Wifey: “Cool. We could always use some extra money.”

Me: “Ok, I’ll open up an account when I go back upstairs.”

Wifey: “Wait! No! Don’t you dare!”

Me: “But you said…”

Wifey: “I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING!”
scotchnaut

---

Those ancient Romans had the right idea about betting on Lions to defeat a Christian.
The Maestro

---

Found a funny;

bro you haven’t lived until you’ve experienced ego death in a costco
rockingdog

---

Sumer Sports has a 2000-word story of why Gilgamesh is a FRAUD, ppl forget that.
Senor Weaselo

---

If you have having trouble “loggin in”, once logged in it may say that you are not logged in, at that point, refresh the page. If that does not work, then clear your cache and “loggin in” again.

Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

NOTE banner image from here