Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: Mind on the Road

I do a lot of driving. Like, a lot. Like, due for a 5,000 mile oil change, and I got the car at the end of October. Like, over 1800 miles in January. Such is the life of a freelance musician, who is also in a medium-distance relationship, and is the only one with a car and so has to schlep back and forth. As such, I have important thoughts about the New York City roadway system beyond “It’s a mess of potholes.” Things about the way things were constructed (again, beyond “poorly”) in terms of mapping things out and exits and whatnot. Here are their stories.

We start with a relatively recent one, the renumbering of the exits on the Hutchinson River Parkway. They redid it to match with the mile markers, which now exist. As someone who learned the Hutch like the back of my hand thanks to school, rabble rabble rabble.

 

The big benefit is the exit that leads to the beginning of 684 now has a number. So that’s nice, I guess. While we’re at exit numbering…

There’s definitely confusion with the Belt/Cross Island/Southern State debacle, considering rather than follow the Grand Central/Northern State, they didn’t and continued the Belt’s exits to the Cross Island. But in that case, why didn’t they renumber the Southern State, which still starts at 13 as a continuation to the Cross Island? They half-assed the whole interchange.

Incidentally the Grand Central is slightly fucked as well since Exit 4 is the BQE, then the next exit is 45, but that’s because the entire thing is weird with that part actually being I-278 and following its numbering as opposed to the old numbering which probably went all the way to the Bruckner. Yeah, 3 would’ve been 31st Street, 2 would’ve been the Manhattan part of the Triboro, 1 would have been the Major Deegan… at least that one is actually kind of self-explanatory.

Minus the part where it’s I-278 East and the westbound Grand Central.

Lastly, the ridiculousness that… 695 is about a mile and a half to connect the Cross Bronx (95) to the Throgs Neck Bridge (295), and the Battery Tunnel is actually I-478, despite it being, you know, just going across the tunnel. From the BQE. Which is 278.

I can come back later for proper nomenclatures of things but it’s 6:40 because I had a rehearsal. Here’s the news:

-A slightly ruptured KHunt had surgery for a sports hernia. Okay, ruptured adductor.

-Seahawks hire Ravens DC Mike McDonald as their new head coach, a six-year deal. I’m sure everyone is excited to look what he can do.

…Hold up, he was a writer on Cougar Town?

-Jeff Hafley (of Boston College) to the Packers to become their DC.

-Meanwhile, Ben Johnson to stay with the Lions, due to “unfinished business,” according to Sun God.

-Similarly, OC Bobby Slowik to remain with the 500s.

-In “no one cares” news, Patrick Mahomes is accusing Justin Tucker of being a habitual line-stepper.

Sports!

Some hockey.
FTK vs. Icy Thumbtacks (LAK vs. NSH, 7:30, TNT)

Minimal hockey though.
Kevin Durant HomecomiZZZZZZZ (PHX vs. BKN, 8:30, ABC) (I am contractually obligated)
Dame Dolla Homecoming—meh (MIL vs. POR, 10:00, ESPN)

Augh, JV.
“Please stay on the 8 line according to Lunardi” vs. Lesser, Lesser Redshirt (St. John’s vs. Xavier, in progress, FS1)
Fighting Irish vs. “Those Two Guys” from every mainline Fire Emblem game (Notre Dame vs. Virginia, 7:00, ESPN2)
Swamp Kitties vs. Large Kitties (Florida vs. #10 Kentucky, 8:00, ESPN)
Foxboro Friars vs. Horatio’s Army (Providence vs. #1 UConn, 8:30, FS1)
Commodore 64 vs. WAR. What is it good for? (Vandy vs. Auburn, 9:00, ESPN2)
Tweaker Matchup! Smurf Court vs. Main Men (Boise St. vs. New Mexico, 10:30, FS1)

Okay go.

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Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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blaxabbath

I’ll finally be enjoying the Waste Management “People’s Open” next Friday, on the 18th. Never have made it out — last couple years, in particular, was ‘just too busy with work’. No more. Now I’s getting crunked!

The wristbands are RFID. Is RFID stuff just super economical now?

Doktor Zymm

Making it difficult to track your spending is def super economical

WCS

Since you’re in the Valley, ever watch JaguarGator9 on the Utoobs?

I’ve been watching him presumably since he got started back in 2018, 19? It was definitely before COVID, and I know I was mostly plastered constantly when I found him. Anyway, he’s a great historical content guy for the NFL. He’s based in Phoenix.

This goes for everyone: JaguarGator9, and his several sub-channels. He’s not quite Simon Whistler yet, but, I wouldn’t be shocked if that happens eventually.

Doktor Zymm

Starting a new game of Civ when I should probably go to bed instead? GENIUS

Sharkbait

Solid move. I should re install civ sooner rather than later

WCS

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These players don’t understand Hearts.

Doktor Zymm

Isn’t that good possibly?

BugEyedBoo

I’d be the first to tell you that I don’t understand it. That’s the first game of Hearts that I’ve played since I was in the Army. Sucked at it back then too.

Sharkbait

How the fuck have I missed out on Taskmaster for so long. I love British panel shows, especially 8 out of 10 cats does countdown.

2Pack

I like driving. I always back up the navigation system, if I’m even using it on the trip, with a map of the area, and a good route recon before hitting the road. That way even getting lost (my people say, miss oriented) at times is a 10 minute interruption and not a trip ruining event.

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Doktor Zymm

The rains have started so having a tot of rum

Doktor Zymm

Just switched robes from second warmest to middle warmest because I was getting too hot. It is totally worth it to have ALL THE ROBE TYPES

Dunstan

You need to hire a robe caddy!

“Hmm, it’s a little chilly this evening, ma’am, may I recommend the 3-Wool?”

Doktor Zymm

Is that a random beer in the back of my fridge?
No, it is a giant bottle of soy sauce.

Sharkbait

Considerably less fun

Doktor Zymm

Right? And I don’t even have any dumplings or whatever to dip

Sharkbait

Sounds like you need to replenish your stash of emergency frozen dumplings

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m watching WCS take on a rando in Yahtzee.

Kinda fun actually

Last edited 9 months ago by ballsofsteelandfury
ballsofsteelandfury

And he won!

WCS

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SonOfSpam

FTK?

Hmmm

HEY that’s not nice.

Just for that
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Sharkbait

Youre a monster

Mr. Ayo

I only learned 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.

Doktor Zymm

Groan but in a good way

herodotus450

These Ottawa Senators I call them the 2008 Senate because they are BAILING out Detroit with all these giveaways.
/Not actually watching the game so they may not be accurate
//But I know you’re not either so
///Just like the people of Ottawa

Game Time Decision

They have been better with the new coach, but scotchy would know better

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Also this highway stuff is funnier in Californian.

https://youtu.be/_jJiTcubp5E?si=_gVmumkj71zmuA_9

Doktor Zymm

There actually is a rhyme and reason to interstate numbering, though don’t see why all the kerfluffle about exit numbering.

Mahomes and the Chiefs are officially in the whiny-ass stage of being spoiled rotten.

Doktor Zymm

I took I-80 almost all the way when I moved to California!

And US1 is why I numbering goes west to east

Doktor Zymm

I totally concur that MD needs a I-995!

Doktor Zymm

Aw crap, now I need to get selfies with all the interstate signs, stupid accidental new hobby

BugEyedBoo

Numbers get higher west->east and south->north.

Two digit routes are long-distance roads. Even second digits are east/west (I-80), odds are north/south (I-95).

Three-digit routes that have even first digits are ring roads or bypasses (I-270, I-670).

Three-digit routes that have odd first digits are spurs (I-395).

Last edited 9 months ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Game Time Decision

This is why it’s nice to only have one road to worry about

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You magical bastards somehow ended the 1957 Lions post with exactly 57 comments.

#BurntheWitch(es)

litre_cola

For my 3rd pick I take The Blair Witch Project

Game Time Decision

Hahahaha. That was totes unplanned or even considered

BugEyedBoo

For folks who want to game online on BoardgameArena, the website is BoardgameArena.com. You’ll need a free account, which will let you play any games that a member can start. A free account can also start some, but not all, games.

You can play real-time or turn-based.

Once we get some players, we’ll set a game up.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hello, game changer

ArmedandHammered

Signed up as you guessed it, Armedandhammered.

WCS

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WilliamCSchneider

Last edited 9 months ago by WCS
WCS

Sent all yinz who listed a name a friend request. Reject said request as needed.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I signed up as BFC_Games

Dunstan

My username there is Reg Dunlop

BugEyedBoo

Sent you a friend request. Booder98.

litre_cola

litre_cola

LemonJello

I had to go with Lem0nJell0, because some inconsiderate ass took my username.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m signed up as BOSAF.

Apparently, you cannot have a username that has “ball” in it ..

WCS

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C’mon, let’s play something!

ArmedandHammered

Going to watch something with the wife, look forward to playing in the future.

Doktor Zymm

My doppelganger had not yet claimed DokZymm so now that’s me!

Dunstan

There’s a Group functionality there; I haven’t used it yet, but can set one up and invite folks

BugEyedBoo

Do it! 🙂

WCS

Friends of Seamus

Dunstan

Yeah, I set it to private, so you can’t see it until I send the invite.

Dunstan

I did get a couple of error messages, so I might need to re-send some invites

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Someone invite me to that group please.

Dunstan

I think I sent you one?

WCS

What’s your name?

jjfozz

Wait, is there a feature where you can lose your temper, yell FUCK YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE CHEATERS AND FUCK THIS GAME!

This is how most board games ended in my house before they were permanently banned – I was the main “offender.”

Dunstan

I’m shocked. This is my shocked typeface.

Doktor Zymm

If it’s like poker you’ll be able to throw stuff at people, but NAWT overturn the table

jjfozz

Okay, I signed up, same user name as the one on this cockamamie website.

Game Time Decision

I’m in with my user name from here

Game Time Decision

It’s really going to fuck me up with different screen names for the same peeps

Mr. Ayo

In! Mr Ayo

Why don’t the allow periods? That’s some anti-women bullshit.

yeah right

Late to the party but yeahRightDFO

scotchnaut

Red Wings with the worst lead possible, 1-0, over the Senators. Pathetic.

scotchnaut

Sens just tied it up-told you!

fleshwound_NPG

-wife needed to go to the hospital friday for a blister/open wound on her foot that refuses to heal (since late summer, diabetics dont heal quite right, and the podiatrist is NAWT doing his job properly) and seems a tad infected. a few doc visits later and better meds and FINALLY a little cast on her foot TODAY (why didnt anybody think of this the past few months? american healthcare! usa! usa! usa!)

-3 year old blew chunks during the last 5 min of LOLions/niners. couch smells like ass (but finally giving the couch a proper clean as we speak)

-january can suck a dick the size of idaho, but at least the new solo bruce jam fucking rips

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kE4xNUB2Q5E

jjfozz

Oh hey, awesome, MacDonald goes to Seattle. What’s next, fucking Travis Kelce gets pregnant with Taylor’s baby?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not sure that would be part of the league-approved NARRATIVE.

jjfozz

I am lower than sperm on a bathroom floor

Mr. Ayo

The “D” is lowercase. He’s not a restaurant, bro.

blaxabbath

I got this book on building dashboards. It’s awesome. I never knew how to properly select/organize a data chart — I do NOWKINDA!

If I only had good looks and a bunch of money, I just know I could start to win over some of those chicks who think brains are sexy!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What chicks *really* dig are guys who rig together Rude Goldbergesque contraptions to fix their sagging gates, you should focus on that instead.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Can confirm.

BugEyedBoo

If they can’t find you handsome, at least they should find you handy.

ballsofsteelandfury

There was a news story recently that said that New York had the worst traffic in all of the country. LA ranked 9th and we suck, so NYC must be hell on earth.

WCS

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/Brazil slides into the DMs

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s where I’m headed tomorrow!

litre_cola

To get a Brazilian? Heading right to the source. Nice.

ballsofsteelandfury

Which city?

WCS

Brazil, New York

It’s a suburb of Albany.

Dunstan

Try the steamed hams!

Game Time Decision

Toronto has brutal traffic as well, depending on the list it’s top 5 or 10

blaxabbath

re: Driving Lots On NY Roadways

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We also have music and women out here.

scotchnaut

“And women that play music!”

-Stevie Nicks’ deviated septum