Your Superb Owl Open Thread

Welp, it’s finally here. As with most of the folks here, I could do without all the silly stories surrounding the game designed to draw in the casual fan. (although one story about a story-it was to be expected-that MAGAT’s were all up in arms about Swift/Kelce being some sort of psy-op that will bring more votes to Biden-that’s a keeper) I can’t stress it enough, when you’ve had your fill, run to the mute button. There’s simply too much air to fill.

To The Game!

Chiefs/Niners:

-Did I get the ‘home’ team right? (Narrator Voice: Nobody cared)

-Knock Me Over With a Dropped Pass: If reports are correct, Kadarius Toney will be starring in the role of “Player Nobody Gives a Shit About” and will not be bringing his unique brand of hapless football to the game today. Maybe it was the pass deflections that turned into interceptions, maybe it was lining up offside at a critical moment. Really, it could be anything. I’ll wager a hot fiver that his ten cent brain will be somewhere else next year.

-Don’t Bother About Trent Williams: As a whole the Niners o-line is ranked 15th in Pass Block Win Rate. That takes into account TW’s 96% rating-so yeah, the rest of the line can be had. The prevailing theory is that the Chiefs will put a speed guy like Danna or Anudike-Uzomah against him and have Chris Jones attack the middle or other side.

-In a game such as this reducing mistakes is paramount but Reid and Shanny Jr. especially tend to make errors when deciding whether or not to go for it on 4th down. By ESPN’s metric Shanny has the worst in-game decision-making skills, making the wrong call 28% of the time on non-obvious 4th downs.

-To Blitz or Not to Blitz: Chiefs DC Spagnoulo (?) employs that sort of pressure at a 32% rate. The trouble is that Purdy has a 86.4 QBR and 14 TD’s when blitzed, easily finding safety valves Kittle and McCaffrey. Spags will no doubt create some new wrinkles during the pre-snap period but how effective will they be?

-Speaking Of: Look for McCaffrey to be used early and often against the Chiefs suspect run D. San Fran will not make the same mistake the Ravens did when they came out throwing. The Niners were #1 in yards per carry on zone runs and K.C. was 31st defending. That’s the kind of statistical disparity that Shanny and run game coordinator Chris Foerster simply can’t ignore. By the same token, Reid and OC Matt Nagy would be fools not to have Pacheco running straight at Chase Young.

Guaranteed to Happen: A 30+ yard shot play to MVS. It’s happened in both playoff games so far.

-Feast or Famine: Cb L’Jarius Sneed has rightly won praise for making big plays in a timely fashion but he’s also been flagged 17(!) times so far this year for holding/pass interference, etc. as well.

It was a pleasure putting these together for the 9th(?) year. Shit, has it really been that long? Enjoy the game and comment like you’ve never commented before!

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The Maestro

Get your Swiftie proposal prop bets ready…

yeah right

Ball game.

King Hippo

And he head fakes the QB lead on the game-winner.

WCS

There’s your history.

Porky Prime

Welp. He’s Football Jordan. That’s all there is to it. Hate but appreciate.

Beerguyrob

Welp.

yeah right

Kelce grinding for the blow job.

Doktor Zymm

Neither team deserves to win, so just declare them all losers and give Tay the trophy

LemonJello

Welp. Shit fire and save matches.

NotShogunButShogun

The script is being followed

Wakezilla

That was a nice sling blade by Warner, there

Last edited 8 months ago by Wakezilla
Wakezilla

So, are the Chiefs up against the clock?

yeah right

Why don’t they just turn the damn clock off?

King Hippo

I guess because they swap ends of the field, and then have a second HT? But not sure.

Senor Weaselo

The Second Halftime Show!

BugEyedBoo

Up With People is tanned, rested, and ready!

King Hippo

Defense is just a half-step slow now. And it’s too much time for Kermit’s froggy-fast brain.

yeah right

Herewego!

Brocky

Holy shit my heart is pounding

King Hippo

It’s nice that I don’t care super much, though I do want a Tomsulas win. This would really hurt if was the Fuck LioUns.

Recovery Whiskey

“Should’ve just gone down”.

NotShogunButShogun

I’ve known plenty of mama’s who’d agree

Doktor Zymm

Play on, you crazy diamonds

NotShogunButShogun

Oof…you went the wrong way

LemonJello

Jebus. SHUT. UP. ROMO.

Porky Prime

MVS Brain Fartery

Beerguyrob

Someone’s mama yelled at him.

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WCS

That was anticlimactic.

King Hippo

that QB lead has been there all night

yeah right

All night.

Doktor Zymm

Stop right when I get snacks? i’ll allow it

Porky Prime

Hoo boy

Recovery Whiskey

This is for all the Tostitos, folks

NotShogunButShogun

They get the first here

Redshirt

It’s Four Down Territory here, Romo? No shit, Sherlock!

King Hippo

We need a fumbled snap here. Pretty please.

WCS

22-22 at the end of 15, and Donovan McNabb’s brain will short circuit.

LemonJello

IT’S-A BOSA TIME!

Doktor Zymm

CMC making yards and keeping it from Brock, who I think is bluescreening and needs to be rebooted

And WIDEASS OPEN

yeah right

That’s too much spatial awareness Romo.

Senor Weaselo

I’m guessing more for the taxing-ness?

Wakezilla

We’re little over 7 minutes away from our first ever Superbowl tie. This is so exciting!

Last edited 8 months ago by Wakezilla
King Hippo

So, 25-22 final it is.

Downfield Matriculator

Underrated comment.

LemonJello

CMC wants the TD.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If that’s a catch, Calvin Johnson would like a word.

Beerguyrob

If that’s a catch, Dez Bryant just shot his TV.

NotShogunButShogun

He did that anyway

WCS

(shoots own leg in solidarity)

— Plaxico B., CA

Beerguyrob

Not a catch?

King Hippo

Purdy’s 2nd-best play of the night

clint greasewood

Believe Kittle had to take a shit

Petronel

CAN’T FEEL MY SHOULDER AT ALL!
CERO! MIEDO!

Brocky

Breath brother, breath!

King Hippo

OOF.

TheRevanchist

Hot take: Aiyuk is a system receiver, and would be average on another team. Except KC, because he knows how to catch a ball.

Doktor Zymm

Das ist in field goal range!

King Hippo

Purdy’s best play tonight

Porky Prime

Sorry, thought you said “Porky” and I didn’t think my fart was THAT loud.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Don’t they make a playoff strength Toradol?

WCS

Heroin.

King Hippo

I mean, Deebo popped his hammy and came back in. EVEN RAN A TOSS SWEEP

Doktor Zymm

He’s gonna wake up in time for training camp with a contract he has no memory of signing and some weird stains on everything he owns

yeah right

You can’t throw that flag.

Doktor Zymm

Hey, I’m down with them occasionally using their fuckover powers for good