Believe it or not, we at [Door Flies Open] haven’t officially welcomed you to the offseason yet. So, uh, welcome to the offseason! We’ve got a veritable smorgasbord of things in the horizon, such as:
-Better Know a Smarch Smadness region (not including St. John’s as they continue their annual 21st Century tradition of falling off the bubble in February)
-Hockey playoff guides
-Probably not basketball playoff guides (while everyone on the Knicks gets hurt and they get hosed by Miami-biased refs, dude worked for the Miami-Dade PD)
-The return of the AFL Beat
-The return of the CFL Beat
-The Summer Olympics (in Paris!)
-The maybe return of the BattleBots Beat, depending on when filming/airing is (however, there will be the giving out of the WC7 Beaties, I swear—gotta beat BBU’s Giant Washer Awards to press!)
-Maybe a recap/update of the FIDE World Chess Championship in April? (No, Magnus Carlsen has again refused to participate, this time withdrawing from the Candidates Tournament as he abdicated before the 2023 championship.)
And that’s just sports things! That doesn’t even take into account the non-sports things we have, including:
-Mock Drafts
-DFO Radio
-And lastly, but not leastly, Sunday Gravy
And that doesn’t even include the all-season usuals such as Sharky’s Cocktail of the Week, Sexy Friday, Subsequent GTD Reflections (aka Comments of the Week), and hell, maybe even a House of Pain! (I make no promises) or whatever madness Balls may pull out of his… *gives a general look and crosses arms* brain.
So pull up a chair, even, and especially, if you’re new. Just don’t be a toolbag, no hard Rs (I am of course referring to the Redacteds) and all will be fine!
Do we have news, other than Travis Kelce apologizing for being an asshole on the sidelines? Actually…
The good: Contract extension for Spags.
The bad: Sigh, cue the Onion headline.
The surprise: Niners fire DC Steve Wilks.
Others: Lions sign Matthieu Betts, who won the CFL Most Outstanding Defensive Player with the Liouns.
Sports:
PLL Action!
California vs. Boston (ESPN2, in progress but finishing up)
Hot Key:
Sunrise, Sunset vs. Bird Team Meh (FLA vs. PIT, 7:30, TNT)
Baskety Stuff:
Bulls on Parade vs. This Land Is Your Land (CHI vs. CLE, 7:30, ABC)
Less-Shitty Chargers vs. Basically Just Steph (LAC vs. GSW, 10:00, ESPN)
JV Baskety Stuff:
Miami vs. Son de Clem (7:00, ESPN2)
#8 Tennessee vs. R-Kansas but pronounced wrong (9:00, ESPN2)
Secular Big Love State vs. Brokeback Mountain (Utah St. vs. Wyoming, 10:00, FS1)
CONCACAF Cup (legally no longer the Champions League)
Tigres vs. Vancouver (8:00, FS2)
“I Want to Play for América” vs. Fake Stars (América vs. Real Esteli, 10:00, FS2)
Either wine and dine your dates, or listen to appropriate music. And don’t mock the people with black ash on their forehead for Ash Wednesday. Or do, listen, you do you.
Man, I cannot believe Berlioz actually married the woman that piece was about. Or more that she actually married him. I can believe they broke up shortly thereafter because the entire marriage was a shitshow.
I don’t really need a fish waffle machine
Or DO I?
I’d say you do
Yes
Green Bay Packers > Dan Currie – Ray Nitschke – Willie Davis (date unknown)
Happy VD Day to some of you.
You too, handsome feller.
All yinz!
Happy Ron Mexico Day!
Vick really should have been a Raider at some point.
There was a commenter on Gawker back in the day: “L. Ron Mexico”
Still Valentines Day
https://twitter.com/ClassicStrips/status/1757755776876077141/photo/1
UConn is up 72-39 with 14 minutes left.
If any of you are in Chicago and would like to play some basketball you should get to the arena. I suspect minutes will be available soon.
I was just surfing the Royal Retros site to see if I should donate any more money to Vietnamese orphans in return for off-brand but strangely high-quality hockey jerseys. I was reminded of the recent social media rantings about the latest replicas from Fanatics, which apparently suck more than usual.
So, completely unrelated, you can go to Royal Retros and get a “Creamsicle” jersey, an “orange crush” jersey, a “birds” jersey, (it’s green), and several other generically named jerseys for NFL teams. For an additional fee they’ll even customize it for you. Hypothetically you could get a “Creamsicle” jersey with “Selmon” and “63” on it. And not give a thin dime to those dirty bastards at Fanatics.
I should check them out.
“The Meadowlands Jersey”
Dude. You’re not even pretending at that point.
Give the orphans an extra $10 if they can point out the Meadowlands on a map
You know they’re hammering away in the sweatshop while wearing “Patriots 18-0” shirts.
If you’re into vintage jerseys you should. Not terribly pricey, especially for the quality. I’ve got 5 jerseys from them, (and you bet your ass one is a green Whalers jersey with ‘Liut’ and the number 1 on it), and I’ve never had an issue. It does take 6 weeks to get them though.
I got spoiled by dhgate, apparently, because anything more than $20 seems like highway robbery to me.
Today I learned that there was briefly a hockey team called the Chicago Cougars
https://twitter.com/Enrico_Palazzo_/status/1757964188217917914
Man, I wish Enrico still came around.
They just showed a heart-shaped Chicago deep dish pizza and I am more angry about that than Sharkbait was about that French guy’s New Englandish Clam Chowder.
Thats all kinds of wrong
I’ve eaten one of those. It helps you visualize what’s happening inside of your arteries.
Fightin’ Horatios up 40-20 on DePaul with 5 minutes to go.
In the first half.
This is what happens when a 22-2 #1 team plays a 3-20 #(how many D-1 teams are there and then subtract 3) team.
UConn just gave up an easy lay-up, allowing DePaul to cut the lead to, (checks notes), 44-24, and Dan Hurley immediately called a time-out and was seen mouthing “what the fuck was that?” as his team came off the floor.
I’m pretty sure if you lose to DePaul you’re automatically out of tournament consideration.
https://doorfliesopen.com/2024/02/12/most-unusual-superb-owl-2023-season-thoughts/#comment-1124038
49ers part ways with defensive coordinator Steve Wilks after one season – CBSSports.com
Yet, my lottery numbers go unmatched.
https://doorfliesopen.com/2024/02/12/most-unusual-superb-owl-2023-season-thoughts/#comment-1124038
Try this again…
Not including the comment. Stupid Internet Tubes must be clogged up again…
Looks like the fried pizza was a special, getting a normal prosciutto pizza instead, with a pint of Hopwire, a very nice NZ IPA
This Kansas City mass murder event is why everyone snowbirds here in Arizona — there will never be the dangers of a Super Bowl Championship celebration happening in Phoenix.
/stages one-man Stanley Cup parade down Pearl Street in Hartford.
//is not wearing pants
///is not arrested because no one is in downtown Hartford to witness it
It’s Hartford, so figure you got mugged for your pants.
In Wellington, the craft beer capital of New Zealand. Looking at pubs to head to for late lunch/early dinner and am apprehensively intrigued by one that has deep fried pizza. New standard in shame pizza?
Do it!
Is it Scottish?
Italian first, but Scotland does it as well.
Rossini’s, an excellent pizza joint in Cheshire, CT, did the same thing today.
Or at least put this picture on Facebook and claimed credit for it.
Shit. Where is this and why did nobody tell me?
Happy Singles Awareness Day, everyone!
Listen to the sonata, sir.
Bill Watterson
Holy fuck a lacrosse mention
Offseason baby! Drink it in!
It’s actually prime lacrosse season
I live close enough to Long Island, where it is one of the two national sports.
The other is NYSSMA and whose kid is in the All County Orchestra.
If I didn’t hate MLB, I’d be tempted for the coast-to-coast bar crawl.
I’ve got a couple of things cooking in my ….. Brain
hookworms. From that nasty butt stuff smh
This is probably much more than you ever wanted to know about hookworms, but here we go:
They live in intestines and lay eggs in poop.
The poop is deposited on the ground in rural areas because of the lack of adequate plumbing.
The eggs hatch and develop into larvae.
The larvae develop into a different type of larvae.
The second larvae can infect a person that walks barefoot on the ground as it can penetrate the skin.
Two things to note:
The eggs can not penetrate skin. If your penis touches a poop that has eggs in it, nothing will happen.
Larvae are only found on ground that has been pooped on. Unless you are pooping in your yard and you walk barefoot through the yard, you won’t get infected.
Short version:
Butt stuff is A OK!
ah knew ah wuz RITE not to ever watch that thar show
You would love that show. Aya Cash should have won multiple Emmys.
And there is nearly as much explicit sex in that show as in some of the old Cinemax shows.