In these Off-season Open Threads, I’ll sum up the week that was, provide you with TMI-style information, and throw some random spaghetti at the wall and see if it sticks.
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Today, I am doing quick hit previews of teams playing in the Summer of Soccer tournaments. Strap yourselves in…
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Brasil National Women’s Soccer Team (Paris Olympics)
Why should you care about them? This is Marta’s last tournament before retiring.
Is the government corrupt? Ummm, yeah.
Are the people cool? Fuck yeah!
How will they do? Well. They should be among the favourites.
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Mali Men’s Olympic Team
Why should you care about them? Nine out of ten Americans cannot tell you where Mali is on a map. Six out of ten don’t know it’s in Africa.
Is the government corrupt? Ummm, yeah.
Are the people cool? Fuck no!
How will they do? They were among the last to qualify. Exit at the Group stage.
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Albania National Team (Euro 2024)
Why should you care about them? Nine out of ten Americans think that’s where albinos come from.
Is the government corrupt? Ummm, yeah.
Are the people cool? If you’re from Kosovo!
How will they do? They are one of the few countries in Eastern Europe that were probably better off under the Soviets. They’re lucky they have a team. Exit at the Group stage.
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Panamá National Team (Copa América)
Why should you care about them? Their canal is drying up and getting competition from México.
Is the government corrupt? Ummm, yeah.
Are the people cool? If you’re a man?
How will they do? They have been improving but they’re not top tier yet. They’re in a group with the US and Uruguay. Exit at the Group stage.
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As a quick reminder, the schedule is below:
The first game is on June 14. Get psyched!
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Speaking of, your weekly Psych gif:
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Your weekly hot girl pic:
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Your weekly music video:
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I’m assuming there are sports on tonight OTHER THAN THE STANLEY CUP PLAYOFFS THE BEST TOURNAMENT IN THE WORLD, but honestly I don’t care.
https://youtu.be/BFkYoT5Gezo?si=Sn9S0fUj3KazKh_4
Ciao tutti
McGill Metro Station, Montreal
Beautiful music choice Balls.
Excellent.
Hey Horatio, one of my favorite Easter eggs is that Cy Young works for the Cy Young category, despite never winning the award.
NOW you tell me
I just saw an add for the Leonardo DaVinci exhibit. SoCal peeps, if you’ve never seen it, I highly recommend. We saw it in Rome years ago, it’s pretty damn cool. It’s at the California Science Center, not sure for how long.
Ooh! Thanks for the heads up!
So the kid says that skydiving is like sitting in a chair like, then they rolls you out.
I’m not sure if that helps.
I really need to revaluate my friend group since none of them will go skydiving with me.
I’ll go since all your non-imaginary friends are apparently lame fuckos
Yes! The summer of jumping has arrived!
You’re Pacific NW yes? I bet we could get a decent group together for DFOCon around there, and us two and whoever else wants to could jump before a night out. I decree it!
*decree is nawt legally binding
Indeed! Although I was hoping for a Wyoming destination just to show you.
I’ve done VR before, nawt impressed
I think it was the same guy who went on to do the design for Red Dead Redemption, good work but a bit outdated
I don’t remember it like that, you are strapped in tandem with someone who knows what they’re doing, but it’s still up to you to go. There was no rolling in my case, but I’m sure everywhere does it a bit differently.
The tandem instructor has a droug device, basically a small chute, on his rig that keeps you both stable. He deploys that as soon as you exit.
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQHcZXSKU1l-N1_NRTnhBN588XOS5lRfea41IEpDLBb3Q&s
Also effective at keeping you stable.
Canuck on Canuck violence in the playoffs is fun, because you get to try and figure out which team the announcers are not-so-subtly biased for
Bettman wants McDavid
This is a situation that calls for peacekeepers.
The Canadian civil war was so polite it was years before the international community even realized it was happening
Bring them in from Quebec!
Charlevoix Metro Station, Montreal
This was my local subway station when I worked there and is also the deepest station in the system.
#BFIB are turning things around! THE RIGHT WAY obvs
Side note: is it weird that getting somewhat drunk at home always makes me want to trim my nails?
Better than wanting to snort your nails?
True, although is that something anyone actually does or wants to do?
See, it’s all relative.
(Insert West Virginia joke here)
Look at the great view from the indoor ferris wheel!
Wedding crashing in Ashgabat
https://photos.app.goo.gl/Yv1Pwe3qgrtWVWs56
Here’s an absolutely scathing article from tomorrow’s New York Times Sunday magazine describing how far right wing extremists have taken over the Israeli government. These factions are also bent on the destruction of the Israeli state because they hate democracy. They want a religious kingdom where only Jews can live. The article concentrates on illegal settlements in the West Bank, and on what is basically a Jewish Ku Klux Klan that terrorizes Arab village while the police look the other way.
The New York Times is a Jewish owned newspaper and hardly a bastion of anti-Semitism, not now or ever. An article of this size and scope had to be vetted and approved at the highest levels.
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/16/magazine/israel-west-bank-settler-violence-impunity.html?unlocked_article_code=1.tE0.k_ey.QVE0P-sjH0qM&smid=url-share
Then yesterday, the Wall Street Journal publishes its own scathing article basically confirming the NYT article:
https://www.wsj.com/world/middle-east/netanyahu-pacifies-israels-far-right-and-alienates-everyone-else-to-survive-63eca489?mod=lead_feature_below_a_pos1
It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that the people in power now are the same ones that assassinated Rabin
Read the NYT article. It’s worse than that.
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/16/magazine/israel-west-bank-settler-violence-impunity.html?unlocked_article_code=1.tE0.k_ey.QVE0P-sjH0qM&smid=url-share
The NYT gift article is not linking for some reason, just the photo.
Oh, I’ve asked myself whether I’m a war profiteer from time to time, don’t worry.
Oh, fun! More goalie interference!
Double landlocked countries meanwhile, seem to do okay. Uzbeckistan has a rich silk road heritage that it’s been able to somewhat monetize and Liechtenstein is Switzerland’s Switzerland.
Uzbekistan may be weirder than Turkmenistan.
Turkmenistan is flashy weird, Uzbekistan is mountain people weird
The West and East Virginia of The Stans.
https://youtu.be/nxdh69enoSw?si=NGkqUdlyJCVriIse
I’ve been on that, largest indoor ferris wheel in the world!
Dok gave me this at a thrash metal craft beer bar in Porto Portugal.
I requested this song and they played it really loud.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOWf8uqGf8A
That was a fantastic bar
Easily one of my favorites.
Gurp gorp?
Double landlocked?
You know? Like Nebraska.
Landlocked and only bordered by landlocked countries. So they would need to go through a minimum of two other countries to get to a port
Not super fun fact! The Stans, especially Tajikistan and Kyrgyzstan, were against the dissolution of the Soviet Union, and at the end there were a few days where the USSR still technically existed but with only a few Stans in it. Not a lot of arable land, and other than Turkmenistan, not a lot of oil/minerals, so they really benefited from the subsidies and development of the USSR. It’s been tough for them after, although it’s been better in recent years. They also all still have Russian minorities that are kind of stuck there and aren’t super happy about it.
So yeah, this was all basically to say that Albania is definitely poor and a bit of a misfit, but they’re all good compared to central asia. They even have coastline, while Central Asia is mostly landlocked, so again, less fucked!
China spent 2003-now carefully entrenching itself throughout Central Asia. What’s really intriguing is how India, Pakistan, and Iran are all now getting interested in China’s interest.
1913 Balkans it’s not… yet. Hope it stays that way.
I’ve got an eye on India, the BJP and Modi are getting to the point of incumbent fatigue. Still got a few years, but a real chance they could go the increasingly extreme route to cling to power ala the last 14 years of Bibi.
I’m weirdly unconcerned about Iran. Their government is so out of touch with their people, and they’re mostly concerned with not forgiving whoever offended them 50 years ago that it’s “ok, boomer” but on a global scale where they still hurt loads of people but probably aren’t gonna cause ww3
Stuart Skinner has been awful this postseason so of course you want him in net for an elimination game.
Found a funny:
but doctor, pagliacci is out of network
Tossing in a hot man of the week. He’s gay, but it’s not like any of us actually have a chance with anyone in these pics so I’m down with the eye candy anyway!
?resize=768%2C549&ssl=1
Brandon Perna is so hot!
Wait, so there are 3 big soccer tournaments this summer? ⚽️
The UEFA Euro 2024, the Olympics, and the Copa America?
That’s Rockingggg!
You wanna do a ROCKING preview for us? Balls and I are happy to help with the logistics.
Definitely!
https://ibb.co/c3t7X7v
NLL finals game 2 on TSN or ESPN+. Buffalo can win the championship tonight with a win
It’s Buffalo, so we know how this ends already.
No wide left here, they won it last year, and are leading in the 4th
/sheepishly raises hand
I did.
TRUE MALI FACT: They’ve been an irregular civil conflict since 2011, and it’s a mess.
TRUE MALI FACT #2: Nobody gives a shit about Mali. Have you ever met anybody from Mali? No you have not.
I had a good Pretend left-sided attacking midfielder from Mali, in the 23rd century. And I think that oughtta count.
This is why whatever Wagner Group calls itself now is basically running their military.
They’re actually spread out all over the Sahel/Coup Belt.
This is where the next proxy resource war is. China’s been making inroads in the south of the continent, now Russia wants in. Great Game 3.0?
What’s your o/u on when the nukes start flying? I think WW3 has already started.
Let them duke it out, and leave the rest of us alone.
It’s amazing how ubiquitous Russian mercenary groups have become in western africa, they’re taking over a huge amount of territory with puppet governments and yet no one seems concerned somehow? Humanity is a mess
humanity is irredeemably, irretrievably FUCKED
At least it exists, unlike that other place that no one is from, “Wyoming”
I knew it was in Africa, only because when there’s a country I know nothing about, I think to myself, “oh, that must be somewhere in Africa.”
I knew it was landlocked and in western africa and also that it is apparently a great place to sell used cars from Europe. Landlocked countries are all pretty fucked, but seems like it’s been especially awful for Mali.
You would be the obvious 1 out of 10 that would.
I think you need to adjust the odds a bit since we know everyone at DFO has a base level of competence far above that of the average poll taker.
Based on a recent poll I saw where 22% of Republicans felt that Biden was largely responsible for the repeal of Roe v Wade I think we can just throw out 30% of the population with the wrong answer and rescale
That’s true. Present company always excluded.
Thanks, Biden!
Everyone dialed in for The Preakness?
Fuck yeah!
– C. The Great
GumbyGirl!
Your horse won!
Wire to fucking wire!
No fucking way!