TGIF! Can’t the NBA and NHL just get along and alternate days of playing their finals? Having nothing today is just brutal, although I have enough freezer vodka to comfort me.
Survival – Personal Edition
Let’s talk about squirrels. Specifically, how to clean and cook one. Wait, hear me out! Or not, whatever. Anyway, here’s how to eat a squirrel.
- I think this is obvious, but you need a dead squirrel. Freshly dead, too. And still in one piece, although the head and feet are optional to this process. Also, you’ll need a nice sharp knife.
- Lay that dead squirrel on the ground with its back down and belly up. Grab the tail by the end and tilt it up towards you.
- Use that sharp knife to cut through the base of the tail. Do not cut all the way through: you want to cut through the skin and tail but leave the skin and fur on the squirrel’s back intact.
- Make an incision on one hind leg through the hide on the inside down to the cut on the tail. Repeat on the other side so there is a single continuous cut through the hide from the end of one hind leg to the other.
- Time to remove the hide. Place your foot on the tail and grab the the two hind legs. Now pull up on those legs and towards the head. This will remove the hide and skin from the body of the squirrel. Their skin is tough so this will take a bit of time, but keep at it.
- Now chop off the head and feet. Unlike chicken, now of these bits are any good.
- Field dress the squirrel by cutting the abdomen from tail to head. Remove the innards and discard as there’s no such thing as squirrel foie gras. Also, use clean water to rinse the squirrel carcass afterwards unless you like eating squirrel blood.
- Now the squirrel can be cooked. Younger squirrel can be roasted, but if it’s older you’ll be better off stewing it to break down the tougher meat. If roasting, it’s done when there’s a little pink left in the thickest part of the thigh. If stewing, it’s done when the meat falls off the bone easily. When done, debone and season to taste.
Hope you all enjoyed this edition of Friday Gravy brought to you by Rural Tennessee. (West Virginia got outbid for sponsorship rights)
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Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday!
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhVbLJvYP8s
Klaus will give you forklift safety tips. Start at 2:30 if you’re impatient.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJYOkZz6Dck
This totally changed my thinking about lifting people on forklifts,
Klaus killed a guy!
A list of the greatest comedy influences in my lifetime (to date). They are not ranked in any order, they are all equally in the Hall of Fame:
Monty Python
National Lampoon Magazine (Doug Kenney era)
National Lampoon Radio Hour
Firesign Theater
Mr. Show
Chappelle’s Show
Freak Brothers comics (especially the artwork)
Mad Magazine (Harvey Kurtzman and Al Feldstein eras, particularly the artwork)
Achewood
Cris Shapan’s parody illustrations (I post a lot of them here)
NBC era of Late Night with David Letterman
The Simpsons (seasons 1 to maybe 10)
George Carlin 1970’s albums
I’m probably leaving some out . . .
Second City was good. Early SNL?
Oh yes SCTV!
SNL was good, some great highlights, but not in the HOF for execution reasons. They’ve always had to develop a lot of material and execute it live, which hindered them a lot.
The best SNL sketch is Sam Kinison as a teacher at an evening meeting talking to the parents of a very young student who is underperforming. I was never a fan of Kinison’s stand-up act but here he is dynamite. He wrote this sketch too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHTaMMyK274
Went to a baseball game tonight, was NOT expecting the postgame Flo Rida concert….
They do those same events at Angel Stadium.
It’s great because you can head DIRECTLY to the car/ train/ limo whatever and beat the traffic.
Those are the best if you don’t want to see the after game performance.
I take the five dollar train from L.A. Union Station to the station right at the Big A in Anaheim; after the game they don’t even check the tickets, and if by chance they do you can buy one from the conductor. Give him five bucks cash and he remembers you and doesn’t enter it into his credit card ticket machine (wink wink).
Yeah but getting to Union Station?
It’s easy for me from Playa (105 to 110 FasTrak) and parking at Union Station is cheap (for me). From San Pedro you are probably better off driving to Anaheim.
I’ve been taking entry level Italian on my language app for about 6 months now. Nothing serious just 15 minutes a day.
Trying to immerse myself and shit.
Did one today.
Turns out we’re going to Ireland and not Italy.
I already know how to speak Irish.
Speak Italian, and tell everyone it’s a Gaelic dialect.
That reminds me of the Simpsons episode where they go to Brazil and on the flight Bart takes a crash language course on tape and becomes fluent in Spanish.
https://ibb.co/sRSdD0v
Taj and I used to walk down to the Co Op record store in Moline Illinois and buy this comic Zippy the Pinhead was in it too.
Great fucking record store.
I bought tickets to see Frank Zappa in Champagne Urbana.
And ACDC Highway to Hell on the day it was released.
Zippy!
Now that Sajak’s gone, it’s time for everyone’s new favorite game show, WHEEL! OF! MUCUS!
https://youtu.be/zmJjHzgY3s4
There is no way my kids will believe when I tell them this is Drew Carey, as well.
One of the original webcomics, Triangle and Robert. It was very dialogue driven, as you can see it certainly wasn’t art driven
Don’t worry, I’m not going to post any more of them. I remember enjoying them back in the day, and there’s a haunted pudding factory involved, but they don’t really work as standalones since it’s basically a book with MS paint shapes as characters
I don’t like Robert’s font. Fuck off with that font, Robert!
Three for three… I see what you did there Ayo. The 10th lady is my date tonight. As a teenager, when my grandfather passed away I inherented his
.22 squirrel rifle. My uncle told me that if he had put a notch on the stock for every squirrel he had killed, there would be no wood left. Things apparently were tough all over during the great depression. As an anti depressant I leave you with some life in the ’80’s review…
The 80s were great
Gumby has a plaque he made in Jr. High shop for his Pap. It’s a squirrel he cut out on a jigsaw and varnished up. He wrote “the one that got away” on it He used to hunt with him. His grandparents had it hanging in their kitchen until they died.
“Hey Senor, you know what you should start a week before the gig because you just got confirmation for it? A string quartet version of Rhapsody in Blue!”
“That’s a great idea Senor, you have a reduction for quintet and piano, so you just have to reduce it more!”
And then my OCD ass thought “Wait, isn’t this part stride? So this rhythm is all wrong?”
#BFIB fucked up, but now winning again. The Dirt Donks are…really not good.
Found a funny:
No one:
Absolutely no one:
90s club kids: the song that taught us the beat drop was a throwaway track in a vampire movie starring Wesley Snipes, anchoring a scene that symbolized the gilded excess of late 90s tech culture and presaged the dotcom bust
Blade!
Back when vampires partied instead of being angsty high schoolers
then again, I’d be pretty angsty too if I were stuck being a teenager FOAREVER and couldn’t even kill myself
Couldn’t they just go outside during the day? They must have all had notes excusing them from gym
I was student teaching when that was a big thing. There was a girl in 9ne of my classes who was going on about her undying ( heh) love for Edward, and a boy gave her a look of such withering contempt and said, ” vampires don’t sparkle, Natalie.”
One, for fucksakes!
New Order – Confusion(Elated Reboot)
Well fuck. Apparently they need to move someone from row 7 back to 21 in a middle for weight and balance reasons. I hope someone volunteers to bite the bullet and move cuz otherwise we’re gonna be stuck here.
Yay! Thank you random dude! At least 21 is an exit row so moving from the bulkhead isn’t as bad as it could be. And I’m sure the FAs will keep him supplied with free booze and snacks
This is what constitutes inconvenient commutes for villainesses, I guess.
I’ve never heard of that on a commercial flight. Are you on a smaller commuter plane?
Nope, a United 737MAX9. I’ve had it happen occasionally before, we took on some extra bags and fuel for the weather so I guess they had to redo the weight and balance numbers
Or it’s just so the MAX won’t blow up because Boeing
I was shocked that spaceplane thing they just sent up made it in one piece.
I’m well familiar with the process, I was responsible for load planning for a unit I was in. But a tolerance of one dude on a plane that big is odd. Pilots usually just slightly adjust the trim.
I’m guessing the pilot just goes with whatever is relayed? It was weirdly specific about the rows.
I know there’s one commercial jet that’s prone to tipping if there’s too much weight forward, maybe that’s this one? *checks internet*
Nope, that’s the A321
https://onemileatatime.com/news/jetblue-airbus-a321-tips-on-tail/
Better safe than sorry. They have probably implemented strict standards lately.
The FAA would freak the fuck out if they ever saw some of the flights I have been on. No seat belts… or seats even. A sling rope around your waist snap linked into one of the floor tie down points. High adventures.
When I left Montreal in 2019 (when they closed all the bars at the onset of Covid I booked a flight home right then) the flight from Montreal to Detroit was in a smaller regional commuter jet. I had a first-class ticket, which didn’t mean much on this flight (it would mean a lot on DET to LAX) so I was up front; the plane was two-thirds empty but ALL the other passengers were in the way aft end. So the FA got on the horn and asked everyone to move up to the front. My seat was a single on the port side so it was both a window and an aisle and nobody sat next to me, but I had to tilt my head to the right to not hit the fuselage wall above the window next to me.
https://youtube.com/shorts/XxdytN_04aM?si=TaIAJ3YwApyH7RHE
Lowratio adding in close air support to his repertoire.
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT
It sounds so cute when he tries to make the noise.
He really is a Renaissance Dwarf isn’t he? Not just a sex toy.
You should see the smile on his face, Gumbygirl.
Through the gimp mask, of course.
CIV 7 HAS BEEN ANNOUNCED!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Wooo!
Does one need to play CIV I through CIV VI to get CIV VII?
I mean, it was really hard to catch up to the plot during White Chicks, Black Dicks Vol. 45
Yes, and you must nuke that bastard Ghandi in each one.
You’re not wrong. You gotta get him before he gets you
it’s always the quiet ones you gots to watch out for
Game, blouses.
I read on The Athletic yesterday a suggestion that the Utah hockey squadoo should be named The Latter Day Skates.
Loved the idea of Utah Soakers
If the seating chart is to be believed it’s an open middle this time! Once I get my whiskey and my snack box it’ll be a quality Hobo First!
I was going to replace my usual Friday engine posts with some nifty camera photos
such as this
But I think some good squirrel images would be thematically better instead
such as this
I think I’m just going to delete this Sexy Friday post. The cost is too much.
Your aversion to Achewood is mysterious, considering it is the best comedy writing of the 21st Century, bar none. Opinions vary, of course, but that doesn’t make them right, and my opinion has been scientifically proven to never be wrong. I’m uncanny that way.
Your reaction has a lot of hallmarks of sexual trauma. Did you have a dream about all the Achewood characters and it started as a wonderful erotic fantasy but soon took a dangerous turn into a very very dark place and suddenly there were horrible things crammed up your butthole? In the dream? It would have to be in a dream because these characters don’t exist in our earthly plane. I’m just spit ballin’ here, trying to get to the root of this. You hate Achewood almost as much as you hate engine lubricants, so I worry about you.
You should go to the Achewood site and read every strip starting with “The Party” plot-line. Over time the characters develop into sophisticated entities and the staging is very cinematic. Some major episodes are “The Great Outdoor Fight,” “Ray Goes to Hell,” “Adventures in Gay Porn,” “Ray’s Nephew Goes to Medieval Wales,” anything with Todd the Squirrel or Vlad the Robot, and many more. That should cure you. Also you can get quality motor oil just about anywhere; go online to compare brands and prices. Consult your owner’s manual for proper viscosity, and remember to put it inside your engine’s crankcase to the proper fill level. Change the filter while you’re at it.
I appreciate your concern. However, I have never been sexually assaulted. The first time I saw this dreck of a “comic” strip was here thanks to you. And since then I have not seen even a single frame of this “comic” strip that amused me. So I will respectfully decline going to that website and reading from the beginning. Your opinion may never be wrong, but it will never be the same as mine on this topic.
You could just not read them?
I wish I could, but I respect Brick too much to ignore his contributions here.
Well at least do the motor oil part.
How about this one? Look on the left side these guys actually put their names on it.
I love Archie and Jughead. Not as much as Betty and Veronica, of course.
Ronny man…
A random Canadian just apologized to me! Achievement Unlocked!
So my saftey advice this week is about a specific topic:
Bicycle safety, that is. Always be sure to wear a helmet, and obey all traffic laws
Given the big changes in abortion laws, head protection is more important than ever.
(A certain minor royal gives the Death Stare)
I just got done. I hope like hell it’s effective
I like how there’s 19 models, and one person actually following the rules
Coppi for the win
Both my bikes are Coppis… no chit…
Nice. I inspect and adjust seats for free BTW…
Three is the magic number but five is good too!
https://youtu.be/pxkOWjZAPLs?si=9C6qPO8svFjuZXp2
Didn’t even realize I put three at three. I’m a dumb genius!
Oof, some kid is asking his dad about poll results that he saw in the news and the dad is just ranting about cheating democrats instead of actually giving the kid useful info about how polling works. Poor kid
close one brewing in fever (2-9) vs mystics (0-10) for the wnba tankers for bueckers 2025 watch
caitlin is having NONE of it, tho
phenomenal clutch tanking by both teams here in the 4th
I challenge you to say “She Sells Sanctuary Seashells By The Seashore” 25 times in a row. You can’t!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCOSPtyZAPA&ab_channel=TheArkive
What will it Cure me of?
Is there anywhere that doesn’t make the claim of having especially demonic squirrels? Who has the evilest squirrels is such a weird thing to have rivalries over
I brought this on myself. JFC
Did you? Did you really?
I mean it is relevant, and you didn’t address whether it’s okay or not to eat herpes squirrels
I organized things poorly so I’m flying cross country just for a few hours to stick a package that needs to be chilled in the fridge. This is officially my stupidest trip ever!
Is it eggs? I though those were supposed to be frozen.
Can it count as a tier point run at least?
Oh totally!
United PQP out, Alaska MQM back, plus free food and drinks. Shorter rts probably price out cheaper than two nights out with dinner and drinks. Hnmm
If only you had a minion to do that kinda stuffs
Our beloved #BFIB lead by a 3-nil count, while the Bastard Man Small Bears trail by the same tally. All is well in the world.
ALL THE HELL YES to gal #6.
Tridents Up! By 7 after the 1st inning!
Shit fahr, that sure ’nuff is a lot of baseball points.
Cal Raleigh is a very fun player, especially once I leanred his nickname “Big Dumper”
He rules! I was at a Kraken game at the time and broke my phone celebrating when he hit the homer to send the M’s to the playoffs for the first time since 2001. Still brings a tear to my eye.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTGoZLPstJw&t=195
He’s even a fellow North Cakalakian!
OMFG. And now they are going to lose 10-9.
And there it is. What a disgrace of a franchise and team.
You and I would be perfect wingmen for each other. We have completely opposite tastes.