Are y’all enjoying the concurrence of TWO Euros in the same June/July? Hippo sure enough is, even if (as usual) the teams I would like to do well are mostly…uh, not.
But Spain looks really good and fun, plus my prediction of the Krauts faceplanting….YEESH. They showed up as the hyper-efficient steamroller their nation-mates prefer.
On the other hand, Gareth Southgate’s Inglen…are as tightly clenched as we’ve come to schadenfreudedly love. FUCK OFF, I know that’s not a real word.
Anyway, we get three from Europe (including the last non-televised morning tilt), then two from the Sudamericano side of the festivities, once I’ve turned you over to Balls (PHRASING).
You won’t get to see Jimmy Carter’s home state on teevee, so I am reduced to Romania for the banner pic. Except I don’t think these ladies ARE Romanian, but fuck it – they came up during my search and it suits both my taste and laziness. They (Romania, not the Showtime lesbians) play “Fluffing Our Lines” Belgium at 3p. in what has become a must win for the Belch (and a much tougher ask than anticipated).
Nooner is Portugal anally violating Turkiye (still pronounced “Turkey” just spelled weird now, so as not to be confused with Thanksgiving dinner), feel free to nap through that. Both televised matches are on “big Fox” just fyi.
Also, I would be remiss and less-than-woke not to issue belated congratulations to my humble, beloved #BFIB – who got back to .500 in becoming the 2024 Negro Leagues champions. I am sure even our Chi**** brethren will have MAD RESPEK for that.
Found a funny:
imagine killing a whole mammoth and ur crush is like sorry im only into gatherers
THIS ROMANIA I CALL ROMANIA BECAUSE THEY SUCK, THEY’RE LOSERS, AND THEY REEK OF ONIONS AND GARLICS. JUST LIKE THE COUNTRY OF ROMANIA.
Somebody got mugged in Bucharest back in the day.
Well shit. Now I want to go to Romania.
Belgium is up early 🇧🇪
1-0
That’s Rocking!
Is DeBroom gonna score a goal??
My money is on a cheeky assist.
June gloom is over, baby.
Harrumph.
What a fuckin poser. Get up already.
THIS ROMANIAN FAN SEATING SECTION I CALL IT A CLOGGED URINAL TROUGH IN THE EIGHTH INNING OF A BASEBALL GAME BECAUSE IT IS A SEA OF YELLOW.
Lukaku showing the footwork of a mid-career Godzilla.
I like this ref so far, he’s like “fall down all you want, I ain’t callin’ shit.”
Belsh do something!
This is like a Thursday night color rush jersey game.
Mustard vs…what condiment is red with flecks of black in it?
Old Tabasco
How about szechuan sauce?
Oh, shit, I remember that.
Ostensibly…?
Bold color 😃
– Jeffrey Beauregard Sessions, referring to a waiter who neglected to refer to him as “sir”
Belgium not fucking around!
Wow. Absolutely beautiful start for Belgium.
This is so fucked up.
https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/5578061/2024/06/20/serbia-quit-threat-euro-2024/
In other self own news:
https://www.fox35orlando.com/news/man-who-shot-pregnant-librarian-in-alleged-road-rage-will-not-be-charged
This is precisely why we tell callers NOT to follow road rage aggressors.
Right? Get the plate number, save the dash cam video, then deal with it the next day.
Thank God everyone involved had a gun, otherwise things could have gotten out of hand.
Did the Old West really end, or just sort of change it’s exterior paint?
THIS.
Everything has a crappy fresh coat of watered down latex over the peeling 116 year old lead/asbestos finish that is as intelligent as a dead 116 year old.
We think fancier toys= civilized. We’re just apes with laptops.
There’s a reason why an advanced civilization knows about us and actively keeps us off their radar.
I can’t even with this shit anymore. Now I’m all fucking mad.
I love Pride.
The juice store at the mall is offering rainbow 3-packs at a discount to celebrate Pride.
Because every gay guy I know is super into saving money….
Shit — as I set up my wife for this joke, she cut in with “Like for a Trouple?!?”
GRAB THE HICKORY WOOD AND FIRE UP THE BBQ BECAUSE THIS TURKEY IS GETTING SMOKED!
Unfortunately, this ain’t that fresh, Christmas Turkey. It’s that half-sealed pack of lunch meat Turkey that expired well over a month ago.
0-3! Why, Atatürk must be spinning in a spit in Armenian Hell.
Yusuf Yazici?
This whole team would have been great fodder for yesterday’s Request Line.
Also Kendrick Lamar’s show at the Kia Forum on Thursday
Was ROCKINGGGG!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ma737CLHp0&pp=ygUea2VuZHJpY2sgbGFtYXIgcG9wIG91dCBjb25jZXJ0
Wow! Able to pick the laziest and most blackmailable thesis advisors? Naaahhh
Dartmouth’s only positive asset is being able to say they’re not the Brown University of the ivies.
Didn’t you go to Brown? I know somwbody here did. My sister in law did her post doc there. Providence is cool.
Somebody. Ughhhhhh.
WTF. How dare you! I went to the perfectly respectable and cromulent and proper Ivy League institution of Columbia University.
You coastal elites sure are grumpy!
Only when being slandered at an early hour. But i do respectably apologize for being enraged by your baseless slander. My reaction was uncouth and unnecessary in such proper company.
I’ll try to keep my baseless slanders to a more civilized hour than the crack of lunchtime!
Like a fucking lady!
YOU KILLED PALENSTINE!
If I know my soccer history-and I do-the Turkish guy responsible for the own goal is going to be gutted by a Varsak in a hookah bar in Istanbul about a year from now.
Let’s just put it on a tee for me:
THIS SAMET AKAYDIN I CALL HIM AN ANATOLIAN ARMENIAN BECAUSE HE WILL PROBABLY BE SUMMARILY EXECUTED AND THE TURKISH GOVERNMENT WILL DENY HIS VERY EXISTENCE.
Banner
Did Rolondo promise the ref bjs from all of Rolondo’s exes?
You say Rolando and I say Rolondo.
At least till the edit function works again.
We lost our edit function because we are woeful sinners, and did not repent.
Yellow Cardapalooza!
You get a yellow! And you get a yellow! Everyone gets a yellow!
I don’t understand why this ref bothers putting the yellow card back in his pocket.
Like maybe just give him a yellow glove so he can wave at players when they sneeze too hard on other players.
At 57, Pepe is an inspiration to heel-kicking goons everywhere.
That is the old boys league I occasionally hop on to help a neighbor’s team then am reminded why I don’t join them.
Before he became a TV cop…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=peui8P3pIwY
THIS GAME I CALL IT A SLOW-ROASTED THANKSGIVING DINNER BECAUSE THE TURKEY IS FALLING APART.
Turkey scores! Sort of
that sucks
Oh, Turkey…
/it’s funny because two Portugal guys were pissed at each other for blowing a scoring chance 5 seconds before.
100% voting OG for European Euros MVP
GOBBLES!!
Cristiano pouts, OG ensues. What dafuq
Ronaldo’s legs actually held a mutiny against his brain there and dropped him to the turf in order to keep him from fucking that goal up.
Silva scores a goal for Portugal!
That’s Rocking!
oh yeah, I forgot you’d bark in Chelski approval.
/tosses Milk Bone
If a girl has a pierced tongue…
Is the sensation/experience better? Asking for someone not cool enough to experience hipster pussy of such calibre.
I didn’t find it to be.
Then she loves anal!
— Balls
I mean there’s probably a pretty high correlation.
Good goddamn, is it EVAR hot in Murrika. God bless the poor Euros Sudamericano participants.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQae2qOXCq0
Turkey will win this because Portugal will simply keep feeding service to Ronaldo like he’s their only scoring option in the box. Just like every other team he plays for.
Turkey and Port, sounds like a nice Thanksgiving
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2D6vvk_hqQ
This is my pick for tourney winner. Here we go, Turkiye!
ooooh, Fronk with the bold post-hype sleeper pick!
Just got it in!
[Silva scores]
shit
still, I likes your process. And HAIL GAMBLOR.
BOO THIS MAN!
/Remember, it’s the pick, not you
[narrows eyes at you for suggesting that turkey should be booed] – Coach Reid
Ah! Well, nevertheless.
I learned a new word today: Otiose.
Context not important here, so don’t ask.
Hey, some of us read the November ‘23 issue of Dream Lifestyles Monthly
Strong point! Strong leader!!
Mirth was Soviet artists’ uncanny valley
Where have all the heroes gone?
As Brick has pointed out previously, and something I can attest to coming originally from the south side of Milwaukee… Those kissing Polish girls will likely look significantly different in their 40’s. Just sayin.
This shot of Bricks auntie illustrates where he gets some of his photographic skills from.
I’d like to offer hype points for POR : TÜR coming up next:
1. I think the game will be testy with a chance of blood
2. Snnnfff [wipes tear] Swarth is beautiful DON’T LOOK AT ME [runs away]
I’mma record and watch that shit after my walk. We’ve finally got a sunrise with no clouds. Got to take advantage of that.
Go Future Yeah Rights!
For the blind: a chest rebound off PALO makes it GEO 1 : 1 CZE
Well-deserved, honestly. The initial header was a great one and his teammate was well-placed for the rebound.
https://dubz.co/v/54abc4
Thanks, RTD. You’re officially a better broadcaster than Fox Sports.
Oh yeah, but even the goal scorer’s mother would go 🤨 lucky dog
The tree nursery contract: “THIS WRITING IS THE AGREEMENT! NO WORDS FROM OUR SALESMEN ARE THE AGREEMENT! NO EMAILS OR LETTERS FROM OUR OFFICE IS THE AGREEMENT! THIS DOCUMENT YOU SIGNED AT OUR NURSERY BEFORE DELIVERY WITH THIS EXACT FINE PRINT IS THE ONE AND ONLY AGREEMENT.”
blax: “You shorted me about a grand worth of cacti. I know why. Your salesman pulled aside my wife in the 11th hour when he was staking for delievry becauze he discovered a small bust in his privacy hedge (THAT I MEASURED OFF WITH HIM ON TWO SEPERATE DAYS PREVIOUSLY BECAUSE HE DEMANDED I BE THERE TO SEE THE MEASUREMENT WHICH NEVER MATTERED BECAUSE HIS BUST WAS THAT HE DON’T KNOW HOW TO USE DEAD MONKEYS SMELL BAD, APPARENTLY). Now my cacti planter looks/is way incomplete, I’m irritated that I caught the stunt, of course; and the real problem is now me and you, Big Plant, are out of line with our agreement.
Nursery Rep: “….he made a note here on his staking paper….”
Propose to settle for a grand in aloe vera plants or other less-fussy flora. Or blow.
San Pedro cacti are easy to grow, look nice, and have other benefits…
https://medium.com/@patricksryan/how-to-make-san-pedro-tea-f23e697a4816
Very casual reaction by my fire alarm to some incense burning. Instead of a “HEY EVERYBODY WAKE UP THE HOUSE IS BURNING DOWN” it was more like a “Dude, do you smell something? You should check and make sure you didn’t leave a burner on.”
Fubo fucked me over so I got Vix instead. Long story short, woooo Jawja!
#MidniteTrain takes a 1-nil lead, though nobody saw it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DraNr74xM7M
https://dubz.co/v/13652a
(that’s a replay)
is awfully vague This could be a replay of the NOW LEGALLY PROVEN Trump-Stormy sexcapades for all we know…
WTF! Up early to watch the footy and can’t! Fuck FuboTV.
Fortunately have some F1 recorded action to watch instead. And some morning freezer vodka.
Hippo is struggling valiantly to hold off until noon’s kickoff for #FirstPill. You know, to PROVE he ain’t got no problem.
The struggle is real. Hang in there Other Hippo!
I made it! Next self-evaluation, 2027!!
I settled on breakfast beer. Mango wheat, which is like a hobo bellini
You and Ayo are good examples to our respective livers.