Good morning all!
Sorry about inducing a drooling fit first thing in the morning.
This post today may be a bit shorter than normal.
Stop applauding, that shit ain’t funny.
It could be shorter because work has been absolute chaos lately. I sure as hell won’t get into the full details but it involves my dumb ass suddenly thinking I’m forty again and mid career and holy shit I have an opportunity for expansion and adding on additional services and I can look like a goddamn hero to my customer and WHY THE FUCK DON’T I JUST SIT BACK THE LAST FEW YEARS BEFORE RETIREMENT AND LEAVE WELL ENOUGH FUCKING ALONE!!??
Because that’s just me that’s why. I’ve always been overly ambitious at work and when a new challenge arrives well I’m motherfucking Superman ain’t I?
And I make shit work!
Anyway, I’m trying to bang out this post on Friday before it runs on Sunday – today! – so here we are.
We are going to break out a great big old box of razzle fucking dazzle for the proceedings today.
We’re making filet mignon. Scratch that shit. We’re making perfectly cooked filet mignon and we’re serving it with a gorgonzola cream sauce.
Look at that goddamn picture!
It’s fucking magical.
Sure, sure I have heard it a million fucking times, “Filet doesn’t taste like steak. It’s too lean. I would rather have ribeye. WAHHHH.”
I get it.
I will also say that to flawlessly execute a perfectly cooked filet is a shitload more challenging than searing off an aged ribeye steak.
Plus there’s something about that chew. Like fucking butter. You can’t get that chew from any other steak. It’s not even a chew really, it’s more of a “melt.”
And when done right it’s fucking perfection.
Let’s get after this fucker.
May as well address the price right off the bat.
Yes, that would be twenty five bucks a pound.
Let’s get a closer look at least.
The steak on the right is the main player. See the one on the left? That’s an edge piece, that ain’t no center cut shit. Plus, notice the fat line and cartledge on the left steak? That’s called the “chain” and if you want to piss off your filet fans in a restaurant you would serve a piece with the chain.
Don’t do that. Just don’t.
You want these bad boys to get to room temperature prior to cooking because they will cook really fucking fast. If you have a cold center on that filet when you start the sear well guess what will happen?
You’ll have a cold uncooked center on the finished product and that would just be plain dumb and stupid.
Season the filets liberally with salt and pepper.
That’s all we’re doing. Just salt and pepper. No other tricks or shenanigans needed. Go heavy on the salt and pepper though.
These will sear in a smoking hot cast iron skillet with some butter used as lube.
Yeah, this isn’t going to suck.
About 4-5 minutes per side should do.
Give them a turn.
Yep. And it’s all MINE!
We’ve got a few things in play today but let’s do the gorgonzola cream sauce next.
Gorgonzola cream sauce!
recipe inspired by asweetpeachef.com
2 tablespoon unsalted butter
1 shallot minced
1 clove garlic minced
2 heaping tbsp crumbled gorgonzola cheese
2-3 tablespoon heavy cream
kosher salt to taste
ground black pepper to taste
Ever fuck around with this stuff?
That would be this stuff.
Gorgonzola is many things. Being subtle is NOT one of those things. I also love it unconditionally. This shit is fucking killer. I’ll slap this shit on a cracker and be one happy fucking asshole! You WILL need a frosty cold beverage standing by.
What else?
Oh yeah, gonna need a shallot.
Fuck am I supposed to do with that? Mince the goddamn thing already!
To finish the sauce we’ll also need a minced clove of garlic and a couple two three tablespoons of heavy cream.
Saute the shallots in butter.
Just a couple of minutes before adding the garlic and the gorgonzola.
Next add the cream. Enough to your liking. It’s a texture thing at this point. I like this a little gooey.
If all that luxuriousness isn’t enough, how about we add another indulgent side dish. You know this one.
Angel Hair Parmesan!
We’ve made this shit many times. Use that search feature at the bottom of the page for the full recipe, I’m busy over here.
Get your pasta.
Grate up your parm.
Mince up some fresh chives.
Build your roux and add in the heavy cream.
Add the parmesan then stir until thickened. Be sure to keep some of the pasta water to adjust your richness. This fucker tightens up if you’re not careful.
Next pour this sauce over the pasta and stir in the chives.
Let’s plate this stuff up already.
Grab some pasta, our spinach salad. That would be the usual with spinach, strawberries, slivered almonds, red onion and homemade vinaigrette.
We do that one a lot around these parts.
Grab a steak and put some of the gorgonzola sauce on there.
You know, we’re gonna need to get a bit closer for this.
Dare I say, closer still?
I dare! I dare!
I’ll give you a moment to shower off.
That cook is textbook. Fucking. Beautiful.
Don’t even start with the too rare shit. You go past that beautiful deep red hue and your ass just fucked up a 25 dollar per pound filet.
I have seen people and actually I work with a guy who orders his filet well done and decorum only keeps me from screaming “THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!??” directly into their face.
Jesus. “Well done” he says.
I mentioned this before but the best thing about using my cast iron skillet for some of these dishes is…
She’s in her goddamn PRIME!
Fabulous. Perfect. Delicious. You pair this with the right wine and you are eating pure jetsetter luxury for economy class prices.
I loved the shit out of this meal. One of my favorite things ever.
Make this shit for date night and you can retire as a legend.
You know, 90% of me planning this meal was for the food porn money shot of the filet and I most definitely did not disappoint myself.
One more time for the world!
/drops mike
//trips over mike
//busts upper lip
[holding bloody lip]
Thansh for Thtopping by y’all.
Be thafe and enjoy your Thunday.
PEACE!
New thread is up
Franco-lly, my money is on Spain winning.
As an aside, NFL Redzone is so worth it.
“Trump’s shooter was bullied in high school and didn’t fit in to any clique.”
…okay, where was I yesterday evening?! I know I was joking before but now I’m getting suspicious.
No Way to Stop This … Onion article
You were in the clubhouse the whole time!
Also you’re still alive.
This Wendy’s commercial in which a woman screams that their “nugs” are SAUCIBLE!!!!!!! has rapidly escalated to the top of my Worst Commercials List.
Seriously, I’m almost pining for the days of “what a pro wants”
When I heard the commercial and the word “nugs” for the first time, I frantically checked my computer to be sure I didn’t have a pop up window or incognito tab open.
Reading the word makes me want to vomit. Hearing it would drive me to violence.
I read RW twitter sometimes for research and because it is funny as hell (and because the opposite is true that Lefty twitter sucks since Trump when it’s not a circular firing squad like …) to watch them tear themselves down ruthlessly because they will throw every derogatory word imaginable as each other. But in the same way I am leftist to the point of hating the Dems, they hate Republicans and especially neocon never Trumpers. I haven’t checked today but I can only dream of the shit they are saying on scumbags like Megan McCain and the criminals running the Lincoln Project.
It’s also one of many reasons why I can’t take people calling Trump a nazi seriously. The UK had several of its top officials all being south Asian until last week. Whatever you think they said, it was probably worse.
Good day, dear fellows! Today is the day that old blighty reclaims its position as the most dominant and righteous nation in the European footballing world! I shall be enjoying a few glasses of sherry while watching the match, so my apologies if my letters to you all become as incoherent as the tribes that reside on the banks of the Niger River! Onward to glory!
Sir, if I understand correctly, you are of the belief that football is returning to its domicile?
Found a funny:
you see your pets twitching their little limbs in their sleep and say to your partner “look, it is running through a field in its sleep”, you are wrong: your pet is in a casino: throwing dice, playing slots and video poker, walking on two legs and betting large on a blackjack table
If my pet hits on 15 agaibst a house 12, that pet will be neutered and disinherited.
Sometimes my dog produces little yips too. It’s heart-meltingly adorable.
That’s so cute. You know what my dog is doing while she’s twitching in her sleep? She’s chasing Adolph Hitler down a back street in the suburbs of Buenos Aires in 1947. Yeah, Ruby can time travel in her dreams!
/Also, I am not a crank!
Our little rabbit occasionally snores when napping. Very cute
My crush on Princess Catherine continues unabated
It was nice to see her out and about and not spouting seven fingers and three thumbs on one hand.
Oh, you don’t subscribe to HapsburgHoneys.com?
Ohh, Rikki wants his princesses with the ‘proper’ amount of digits. Who does he think he is, WCS?
I mean I used to subscribe to Chernobyl Cuties but bailed when they raised their prices.
.
/Had to have a sit-down with Youngest Skull Fracture Boy
I pointed out to him that it’s mid-July and we’re barely half-way through our first case of hot Italian sausages. It’s not all on him-I’ve not been holding up my end either. (wifey’s nefarious dalliance with Veganism is taking its toll) He assured me that he’ll do better going forward.
Uh, those Italian sausages aren’t made from real Italian hobos, are they?
Hollow out the corpse and then stuff it with a combination of mortadella, parmesan and pesto. Be sure to place the body in your walk-in fridge for at minimum 36 hours so that the grinder doesn’t get gummed up.
/you’re welcome
If scotchy ever offers you “head cheese,” just say no.
“Say, I know a fella that would gladly take those excess sausages off your hands.”
I mean, he’d be baffled by the concept of “extra” sausages, but sure…
Carlos Alcaraz successfully avoids one of the worst choke jobs in history!
(he was up 5-4 in the third set, serving for the championship, went up 40-0 and then LOST the game – but ended up finishing Djokovic off in the tiebreaker)
I was ready to murder whatever asshole in the crowd screamed out during that 40-30 point.
Somebody tries to murder an asshole in the crowd and then everyone wants to do the same…
Saw that!
Also that was Rocking how he went into the stands after to shake the hands of all those ppl then go celebrate with his family!
As opposed to fighting them like…you know.
I know Djokovic has a bad knee, but Jesus that was a demolition.
Carlitos is so damn good
THIS GUY CARLOS ALCARAZ, I CALL HIM “MEDICAL SCIENCE,” BECAUSE DJOKOVIC JUST CAN’T FIGURE HIM OUT
I’m bannering this.
“Demolition? I’ve seen worse.”
-Henry Ruggs, from the TV room at the prison
Republicans who do nothing but talk about guns and toughness and testosterone and stepping up to make the kill when given the opportunity when it’s their time to take the shot:
Found a truth:
On Saturday a afternoon of fantasizing about mass deportations and concentration camps and plotting to overturn the coming election was disrupted by violence
Come on Alcarez, Finish Him! I have a lot to do before I can settle down with a loaded bong and plenty of Diet Coke to watch the futbol match. And I can’t start till this is over.
Why didn’t you deliver cross country yet?
I don’t get fat and steaks. It’s best with fat sprinkled throughout yes? What’s the difference between the chain and the right steaks fat?
/raises hand
Blax asked my question, and I would also like an answer.
Marble is fat, while the chain has that silvery flat tendon running through it which is not good eats.
This guy gets it!
Guess which piece was laid on my plate?
Am I allowed to say too damn rare?
Less than two inches from an historical event, two inches!
Tell me about it – D. Farve.
On almost having an orgasm.
Still historic, just historically bungled
/snickers
“A data breach at the phone surveillance operation mSpy has exposed millions of its customers who bought access to the phone spyware app over the past decade…these kinds of apps are also known as “stalkerware” because people in romantic relationships often use them to surveil their partner without consent or permission.”
https://techcrunch.com/2024/07/11/mspy-spyware-millions-customers-data-breach/
Service used to invade people’s privacy turns out to have little respect for its customers’ privacy? Shocking.
Just come be with me in the real world, everyone. It’s actually easier than trying to win the Matrix.
Did somebody say “Matrix” and “win”?
I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a Schwarzenegger character check his watch.
OBVIOUSLY the T800 doesn’t need a wristwatch OBVIOUSLY.
“What time is it? Time to die!”
In a related story, I went to a free screening of Terminator 2 during the week. It was hosted by Comet TV. I am shilling for them because in addition to the movie and popcorn and soda they also gave us swag bags including a digital antenna.
THIS GUY YEAH RIGHT, I CALL HIM HUGH HEFNER BECAUSE BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THE PHOTOS ARE PRONOGRAPHIC, I ONLY READ HIS ARTICLES!
Funky meaty deliciousness! This, a glass of red wine, and a baked potato, and I go to the guillotine with a smile on my face. Libertè! Egalitè! Fraternitè! Happy Bastille Day, mes amies!
Oh yeah… Blue cheese + steak = YUM. Add in a glass of good red and I am THERE.
An oldie but a goodie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mALDPwpvblg
I’LL SUCK A COCK ON THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE BEFORE I BRING YOU A MIXED GREEN SALAD!!!
Having kids tends to kill the quality of stand up comedian’s acts. Patton being one but also David Cross, Jim Jeffries, Jim Gaffigan and John Mullaney. Oh, you want to talk about the miracle you made and make it funny? Oof!
edit: thank baby jeebers that Dave Attell is repellant to women that want to start a family.
That in itself is funny because Oswald has a bit about that and getting engaged/married when he was still in his bridge troll days.
Musicians, too. The one bad track on Bob Seger’s Greatest Hits album is the obligatory “new” song he put on about his warm fuzzy feelings for his kid.
Explain Tears In Heaven, smarty pants. 😛
Also a shitty song that confirms my point!
To be fair, though, David Cross’s standup holds up like a tower made of Brie on a hot day.
That is a beautiful steak with some beautiful sauce! Haven’t been to a steakhouse in ages, but this makes me want to. I would add some creamed spinach on the side
This looks really good. They use a lot of gorgonzola in local dishes around here, so I suspect my starting cheese quality is going to be good.
I hear you on slowing down (not) for the last couple years. Not in us apparently. I am in the middle of rebuilding one or our core plans and SOP’s that I easily could have let ride. Nobody would have known. But cannot, will not take an easy wrong.
Oh and there’s a game on tonight. I would like to see Spain take it all.
Even in late stage career I can’t turn down a challenge.
The sheer scale of this project is insane.
Which is why I know my team can do it.
I’ve got competitors who I know are old timers riding their final five years — and they’ve been coasting for the last ten already.
My peers seem to have the wait-and-react plan.
I’ve got a 20 month plan to end-around the old boys as I race them to my early retirement, at their expense.
I don’t have many teammates but I gather inspiration and will from hearing others who just do the right. That’s how you Collective Good.
And you need energy to perform. Animal flesh energy.
Motivation works sometimes.
Discipline works every time.
Welp, there’s three.
https://tvline.com/news/shannen-doherty-dead-cause-of-death-beverly-hills-90210-charmed-obituary-1235282110/
Boo. She was sick for a long time, poor girl. RIP.
When they are suffering, it’s less a loss and more a release. The ALS community calls it “earning their wings”.
“All I can say is that I hope there are some wings waiting for me in the afterlife, too.” – Coach Reid
Fucking albatross wings.
No, his albatrosses are his kids.
Four. Shelly Duvall went two days ago.
We’re on the second cycle of three, and a certain orange somebody has a head wound and isn’t known for following doctor’s directions.
/crosses fingers so hard I break three of them
It’ll be funny if Andrea outlives the rest of the 90210 cast
THIS GUY ALCARAZ I CALL HIM SAMPSON BECAUSE APPARENTLY HAVING MORE HAIR MAKES HIM MORE EFFECTIVE IN HIS ATHLETIC SPECIALTY.
Wimbledon final, Euro final, Copa final.
A good day for sports, if one can stay focused.
Looks like the Trump Shooter was a Never Trump Republican.
Well, I just want to say it was nice getting to know y’all, as I expect the FBI to come crashing down my door at any moment.
John Rambo wouldn’t just sit idle by waiting for the attack….
(grabs slegehammer to unbury past life as assassin)
He was only 20, just a kid. I think I was spot on with the video game thing
Think you’re right. Classic video game move to go for the head shot.
It’s two in the body THEN one in the head, people. Get it right next time.
“Five rounds rapid.” The Brigadier
I heard that too. Interesting…
‘Course I don’t suppose that will stop Alex Jones & “Q” from declaring that he was a deep-cover antifa agent sent by Joe Biden & Hilary to stop tRumpy from unleashing “the storm”.
My cousin is already chirping that on Facebook. Its amazing what a near invalid old man who nearly soiled himself on the debate stage is capable of.
Good Lordy… I was being sarcastic. Ugh.
I mean why would Joe even bother? Thanks to the recent SCOTUS ruling, Joe could just whip out a .38 at the next debate and blow tRumpy’s head off, call it an “official act” it would be fine n’ dandy like cotton candy.
Now I want to see Diamond Joe fire a revolver just for the recoil alone.
Joe’s so old, he ought to blast Trump and Joe will be dead before there’s even a hearing on the Constitutional matter.
That’s good steakin’.