As DonT wisely noted, we are really in the FITBAW pre-season now. As such, why not throw some fantasy ideas onto the Clubhouse wall, see what sticks? I mean, it’s probably a pretty worthless endeavoUr, but hey. At least we serve it up fairly priced.
Who is your “value” QB target(s)?
King Hippo – My “money league” will feature CJ Stroud as a $2 keeper. Though I am a bit distressed regarding how down analysts that I read (Rotowire, The Athletic mostly) seeem to be on him. Usually, my trick is throwing out a name at auction that I don’t really want, in the 8-12 ranked range – just to see what I’m likely to have to pay for one of the 2/3 guys I like in Tier Three. But I might just dumpster dive with Wee Bryce Young (RW #29) – it’s nice to have depth one can easily cut. Though I will surely eyeball the price tag on Prison Girlfriend (RW #12) – it’s kind of “shit or get off the pot” time for him/her.
Litre – Looking at the list I reckon I would be happy with Baker Mayfield. He would be a value and will probably settle in this year. He has Evans, and Godwin so you know it will not be a lack of talent at WR that will trip him up. I also think that Goff will be higher that his QB15 that I see in most ratings. I also hope Rodgers breaks his fibula in week one just for the headlines.
Also comeback SZN?
SonOfSpam – Good year to wait on quarterbacks (because they’re excellent tippers, especially Aaron Rodgers, who only has one working Achilles tendon so you can tip him easily, damn, this digression has really gotten away from me), so assuming we’re looking outside the Top 5, I like Burrow to stay healthy and produce, and DAK ham is a safe bet. Going a little deeper? (lol sit down Deanna) Rookie Jayden Daniels is going to have some massive games until his left knee turns into angel hair pasta.
Maestro – I am an agent of chaos. We hardly saw Anthony Richardson at all last year due to those concussions and shoulder surgery and whatnot but I think that even for him to have the chance to learn from the sidelines, he’ll have improved regardless. I think Michael Pittman is a really good receiver and I think that Jonathan Taylor is a really versatile RB – from this offensive standpoint, I think you could get Richardson super duper cheap and get way more bang for your buck elsewhere.
2024’s version of the 500s (real-life relevance and unexpected fantasy points)?
King Hippo – Sometimes I ask questions without any goddamned idea how to answer them. This…this is one. Everybody will be on Chi****, so not them. Maybe the Raiders? Good luck figuring out which of their grab bag of skill position dudes will step up in the void of fading/disgruntled Davante. Plus, the Clips and Donks are going to be just horrific. Wouldn’t take much to get 4 wins there.
Litre – Blax’s own Kardinal Offishals! You axed for a surprise and sweet Jesus would the Cards ever be one. Wee Kyler to Marvy’s kid could really do something (other than playing video games and hiding guns in a car wash respectively). Also Connor always seems to get points when I am up against him so why not?
SonOfSpam – Kickass song, Litre.(shrugs, puts Christopher Cross Cd on repeat). So howzabout Hotlanta? They’ve got a dynamic young quarterback in Kirk Cousins, plus Bijan the Perfumed Back and Pitts/London to catch Cousins’s floaters. YOU LIKE THAT.. (Shut up Kirk, no one likes that.)
Maestro – NO ONE DENIES WE AHH GONNA HAVE A FACKIN’ REBOUND YEAR-AH. To be fair – I still doubt playoffs are in the picture, especially with a rookie QB, but New England HAVE to be better than the 4-13 record they staggered to last season. If we’re going to be a little more truthful about this question, though… Charmslinger-led Stillers? Will his noodle arm have some proper playcalling help out his lack of range?
What is your WR strategy? Do you think things have gone too far in emphasizing WR in general?
King Hippo – I really like the Top 5/6, if I can grab an elite(ish) playmate for Justin Jefferson (again, keeper), I am a very happy Hippo. But only spend real money for a 2nd banana if you think he could realistically produce like a 1st banana. Usually, there are a handful of guys I like in the 20-30 range, and I will pay medium sums for two. I had JJ, Davante (paid too much), and Aiyuk (bargain) last season. They saved me from myself, though I still lost 1st round. Because I suck. I do like what I read from Michael Salfino (IIRC) earlier this week, don’t use minimum bid depth here. Load up on $5-7 guys, a few will always break through. When in doubt, young players on teams you think will have bad defenses.
Litre – Jefferson will not be a highflyer as Ghosty McMono is throwing him balls and they have Mr. Jones who will be running angry all season. I believe that there is always a rookie to find. Some hit like Zay Flowers, and some miss like the psycho George Pickens. I tend to wait and look for a #2 like Davonta Smith and then try to hit on say a Nabors, or Odunze very late (I am bad at FF, I have never made the playoffs in this league). I think Odunze will be overshadowed by Allen and Moore but they are old and will probably break.
SonOfSpam – Wide receiver is plenty deep, so I like to go for quantity. Sure, one CeeDee could win your league, but think of what five DeMarcus Robinsons could do! Agree totally with the esteemed Litre and grab a rookie or two. No, not like that Coach Sandusky. Get your kicks above the waistline sunshine. Another good strategy is time travel to last season and grab Puka Nacua.
Maestro – PPR guys are the bread and butter of a bench. If you’re tiny and white, there’s room for you in my flex option, I’m sure. Mostly I just am mad at guys like Will Fuller, who really only ever caught TDs like once every other game and then did literally absolutely nothing the entire rest of the time they were on the field. If that’s your role, just know I hate you for it from the depths of my soul.
Since we are old farts, we remember RB being king – what does your ideal RB room look like?
King Hippo – I want one guy to be a no-brainer starter – though that usually isn’t apparent right away. I usually take two mid-range guys, assume one will hit (Rachaad White last year) and one will bust (Founding Fathers). Then I throw lots of darts and am super active on waivers. Waiver priority should always, ALWAYS be used for RB speculation. Playable WR depth will always be there, if willing to think hard enough (and play matchups). More “rocket ship” RBs than WR (TE is even MOAR likely, I think), and rocket ships win titles.
Litre – I want Barkley and that is that. I will fly my Iggles flag high and when he blows a knee in week 3 I will be relegated to the Lowratio league. I also use and abuse the waiver wire trying to hit on a replacement when someone gets hurt. I drafted Chubb last year in a couple drafts, that did not work out AT ALL. Antonio Gibson can eat a bag of dicks for letting a dude who was fucking shot beat him out.
I also believe that Beaty Mixon will have a good year but then again it seems that the 500s RB’s always get hurt and there is only one ball and Stroud has to spread it around kind of like Houston if you think about it. I learned that Cam Akers is still a thing when Beaty gets hurt.
SonOfSpam – My running backs room is gonna be tasteful, with muted tones and can lighting, and two sexy couches so that my sex life can have variety. In addition, I agree that you must have one no-brainer stud (I will draft Barkley then trade him to Litre for a king’s ransom), and that three of your first five or six picks should be RBs. They are fewer in number, so hoard away. (There’s a reason Leroy Hoard was a running back.) I’m probably gonna keep Devon Achane because of his cheapitude, but I thoroughly expect him to disappoint, much like what my couches expect of me.
Maestro – If you can’t catch a swing pass, then fuck outta here. As a playcaller, I sure hate having to watch those dumpoffs and screens in motion, but as a fantasy option, you gotta have hands. Also, draft Tractorcito. Just do it. He won’t be top of the first round this year which just makes him all the more valuable. Dude has Lamar! as his QB this season. He’s gonna have a monster year, I’m sure.
Are placement kickers people?
King Hippo – Absolutely goddamned NOT. It took everything I had not to rage-quit Freezer Vodka over this point of order.
Litre – You will not quit, you will just continue bitching year after year about it. TWBS would like it that way. Is Harrison Butker not man enough for you?
SonOfSpam – Not really, but they’re something, like a fraction of a person. There should be some sort of compromise. Maybe like five-ninths or seven-elevenths. Too bad Jerry Richardson is dead; he may have had thoughts on this subject.
Maestro – just like in The League, one of the first fantasy leagues I was part of many years ago featured a guy who literally didn’t know shit about football. His first seven picks were: Robbie Gould, the Bears’ D, then five more kickers. He may not have understood football, but he saw the value in hoarding resources and brokering deals with others to get what he needed out of it. Anyways, that fucker got a series of good receivers and QBs for pennies on the dollar because rules said we HAD to have a kicker. He bumbled his way to a playoff spot. Anyways, that’s why I hate capitalism.
Oh, the question was about whether kickers are people. If they continuously see themselves exploited for exorbitant profit like in my earlier example, then I would have to argue that no, they are not people.
tWBS Fantasy Football Leagues!
Since our dear friend passed away we’ve been running his league. It’s free! There are 14 luminaries in there who play for the fun of it. Past champions are Senor Weaselo, SonofSpam, Mr Ayo, and Sharkbait. Their prizes ALWAYS have been sent from up here and include at minimum a shitty half mickey of vodka and a Big Turk. I believe that tWBS would want it that way.
This year due to interest we have decided to start the Lowratio Ligue deux that will be governed with an iron fist by Sir Lemonjello. We’ve also decided that there will be promotion and relegation from one to the other. Due to Yahoo’s limitations on the consolation bracket and pure chaos there will be 4 teams going up, and 4 going down. The semifinalists in the playoffs of the Lowratio league will come up, while the last 4 in the consolation bracket will be going down.
Freezer Vodka league consists of myself Litre, co-commissioner (in case I die) Gametimedecision, the four gentlemen mentioned as past champs above plus, the Hippo, Balls, Maestro, Don T, Rev, Dok Zymm, BeerguyRob, and Scotchy.
Lowratio league consists of Lemonjello, Yeah Right, Gumbygirl, Blax, BC Dick, DJ Taz, Horatio, Duke Lacrosse, Armed and Hammered, Brocky, Brick, RTD, and Bugeyedboo (I think). We do have one more spot available. 2Pack? Rockingdog? WCS? BFC? Dunstan? Beefreefer? Boris? Redshirt? Bueller? Bueller?
Here’s the link; https://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/f1/209105/invitation?key=3a07144c86507a29&soc_trk=lnk&ikey=79d23a09c66a6ad9
Due to each league being 14 teams the waiver wire the first couple of years was as slim as I was in high school so we’ve made adjustments. There are no keepers so you start with a fresh slate every year. The draft is a snake draft and it goes quick as we have set the pick time at 30 seconds.
Positions – QB, RB, RB, WR, WR, TE, WRT (flex), KICKER!!! (Silence Hippo), DST, 4 on your bench and 1 IR.
Scoring – Passing 4 pts TD, -1 pick, .5 ppr, the rest is standard. Fumbres -1, pick 6 -3.
Kicking points are a bit different. Will there be chaos? Indeed.
When I hear a tune several times over a short period, my lizard brain thinks that the universe is talking to me. Kudos, lizard brain/universe this time around. Really appreciate it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d404PeooWl8&ab_channel=EnglandDan%26JohnFordColey-Topic
Exciting times for me; a Total Wine store opened up in the neighborhood!
Key acquisitions today include a Pedro Ximenez sherry, some Absinthe, a bergamot liqueur, and some Cocchi Americano. Now I’ve got to make room on the bar cabinet….
You’re doing it wrong. Make room in your belly.
Sub Total Wine laughs at your dismissal of their discount prices.
Watching the mixed team judo and the teams for Brazil and Kazakhstan had females as their heavyweights.
Those girls were huge slabs of humanity.
Made you question the term Olympic athlete since it was like watching 2 fat toddlers wrestle.
Only at the Olympics.
Lotta speed and power there though, the judo is really fun to watch
Haaland is not being friendly, IMO
Hulk always say Don’t make me angry, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry
It’s Chelsea. It’s not like they’re people that have feelings.
The Germans are moving forward. I’m sure everyone is good with that.
hold onto your arse, Sudetenland!
Was 35 °C at the game in metal stands. Bad.
Brewery across the street. Good.
So hot.
Does that jersey have a name or an instruction?
“Or are you so cool you’re hot?”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBczzt9iwNE&ab_channel=RetroFJT
/doesn’t even bother to ask if he skipped leg day for the last six months
Can I format a strikethrough in the WP Title Block? I thought we could somehow apply edits in that field but it was a computer trickery I don’t understand.
Of course. Use HTML strikethrough code <s> Text Here </s>
Fuckballs. That is all.
Well, sorry Balls. Orders are orders.
I feel like buying some BTC at one of those corner store ATMs.
Sourry, ladies.
Did they just not have an answer for that German attack?
Didn’t show up on the drone footage I guess.
Fucking Olympics. Spirit of competition. And then the big cheats are Canada.
2024
THIS KATIE LEDECKY IN THE 800M FREESTYLE THESE PAST FOUR OLYMPICS LEMME TELL YA I CALL HER WHITNEY HOUSTON BEFORE SHE MET BOBBY BROWN BECAUSE SHE HAS YET TO BE BEATEN
Banner.
Ike Turner is so outraged at being passed over for this that … well, you know.
(Ike looks around hell for someone to beat)
(Marge Schott hides)
Found a funny:
Me: *getting a bag of cheese out of the fridge*
My dog, within one second: WHAT IS YOUR INTENTION
My god, that hits tome.
We call it “paying the cheese tax”
a canadian named summer is like a hoosier named skinny
Counterpoint-
Her last name is McIntosh. Skinny’s last name would be Gasoline-Sucker because he would want to give tribute to both of his parents.
In comes Grosso for Canada. She provides [takes out calculator] 144% more energy for the Canadian side.
God, I hate the Dutch.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khUporxh9IU
there’s one that’s okay
here, enjoy her dark chest of wonders
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbH5kgT7UOE
I concur,
-John Marsden
Sir, some of us happen to be Dutch.
(oh you know i will stick my finger in a dike)
Well, that’s one way to lose a medal.
French Pole Vaulter’s Bulge Costs Him an Olympic Medal (msn.com)
“Something you’ll never have to worry about, Brett.”
-D Favre
If he wants to start a career in porn he totally can now
What do you tell your players after they beat a World Record? “Decent job, guys, but you guys can do better!”?
Should have tried giving it 110 percent!
“A dangerous German”
“I’ll take redundant phrases for The Night of the Long Knives, Alex.”
Shot Put looks like a drinking game that somehow found its way to the Olympic stage.
prefer to think of it as Big Beefy Ballet
You can tell Randy Gradishar played in the Denver area. He just turned his Hall induction into a tent revival sermon.
Germans getting really handsy is something I never would have anticipated.
Beckie and Leon are on the pitch now.
And just like me they haven’t scored today
Leon The Professional gonna score.
👀
A red-headed German? I thought they got rid of all of them back in the ’40’s?
/see you in some sort of version of hell
/watching Canada/Germany soccer
“The Canadian team is on their heels!”
Well, there’s your problem right there-they should be wearing cleats.
Decathlete Jose Fernando Ferreira Santana is single-handedly responsible for the on-going vowel shortage in Brazil.
Fucking putz Damian Warner! Defending Olympic champ in the decathalon and leader after seven events can’t clear the minimum height in the pole vault and is out of the competition.
Olympic Announcer: [puts finger to earpiece] “The Leafs playoff chances just decreased by 2.748%.”
DQed from the whole thing? Ooh that’s rough.
Well, it’s not an enneathalon.
All events matter.
Kinda sounds like he was trying to go big or go home. I actually respect that; he’s already got a gold, no point playing it safe now just to get a silver.
Also, I thought he was in second place, not first.
You correct.
“Put on yer fancy bra ma, we’re goin’ on a dump run!”
/something I may have said to wifey earlier this morning
That is the banter of a man who FUCKS!
There once was a fellow named Vance,
Left alone in the house – by chance,
He was feeling quite chipper,
So he tuned into Flipper,
And found he’d unfastened his pants.
I got like 11 hours of sleep last night, and I am already daydreaming of a nap.
Man, Simone Biles sure is good at her black job.
nods in Bernard Gilkey (April 2260)
On an unrelated note, I got asked to join an MLB Showdown-esque league and am trying to think of a good team name. Here are my finalists, asking for feedback:
Brooklyn Nocturnes (named after the art piece[s] normally called Brooklyn Bridge, Nocturne])
Brooklyn Eagles (after the defunct newspaper)
Queens Checkmates
Queens Wanderers (I like the concept of Queens being The World’s Borough, other options in this mold are Travelers and Globespanners)
Brooklyn-Queens Express
Brooklyn Zoo (and shame on you!)
That’s one of the two zoos that isn’t named after the borough! It’s the Prospect Park Zoo!
Nocturnes is good.
The Nocturnes Emissions
Imma draft an inactive kicker
Just went into the settings to see if you could select punter as individual position. Sadly, you cannot.
My day will begin at 930 at Crannog Ales with BC Dick. Then to a futbol match featuring Fulham U21! Followed by more breweries, then our nightcap of Skyline Chili and Malort.
Pray for MOJO it is going to be 36°C
You guys should run wine IVs like in CharDeeMacDennis
Have fun!
USA! USA! USA!
Traditionally, the US needs to hit Japan with two (2) major bombs.
Only cuz they didn’t get the message with #1.
How the fuck we’re dumber than a country that just got nuked and was like, “ah-seeeee fake news-aaaahhhhh” is an unknown to me but I’m glad we have two — history would be unfairly served if the only recorded military nuking was simply, “Little Boy”.
Wait, you LOSE a point for a made PAT??
Just double checked, that’s not correct. +1 for PAT, -2 for missed PAT
“I don’t know, I lost a lot making ‘Pat'” — Lorne Michaels
Ha, my last haircut, long-term hairdresser and I were musing how our kids wouild likely shit their pants if we showed them an old SNL episode with “Pat” sketch. FOAR whatever IT might be!
For what it’s worth, my vague recollection is that about half the humor of the Pat sketches was how obsessed the other characters were with wanting to know Pat’s gender, even if it shouldn’t matter to them.
But yeah, I suspect it has not aged well. At best, young people would shrug and go “I don’t get it, so Pat is nonbinary, what’s the big deal?”
And they wouldn’t be wrong! It’s just an interesting microcosm of how quickly norms can shift.
My similarly vague recollection is a lot the humor being based on the cat-and-mouse game of them trying to figure out the puzzle of Pat’s gender and being consistently stymied.
I am considering going all season taking a 0 at placement kicker, keeping anorher bench dude instead. If yahoo will let me. #ConscientiousObjector
That’s my plan as well.
Yahoo will give a shit grade and you will like it.
/I do like the strategery
Narrator’s Voice: “Yahoo did not let him.”
I used to play on a league with a bunch of Canadians but it got too easy and they bumped me when Trump won.
Regarding the last spot in Lowratio League:
Is there a draft time?
August 28, 7pm East Coast time, but I’m going to ask the league members if they want it changed.
I retired from fantasy football many years ago and have never regretted it.
I’ve been in a work league for the last 2 years, there’s a WWE championship belt for the league winner. I have finished 2nd and 4th. I can’t take it seriously, but it does help keep my interest in the games going.
In GB, with Jonathan Owen’s now with the arche rival Bears, no telling how we’ll do without Simone Biles in the stands. Certainly no longer capable of standing back flips.
Jordan Love is also one of those players I just can’t figure out. I loved him as a “guy everyone gave up on too early” but I’m not sure he really belongs as “burgeoning superstar” yet.
Here’s the thing about life — and I’m sure it translates to pro sports careers — potential is a value that, while it may be stored, contributes nothing to the system until the energy is released. Also it spoils quickly. So my point it this: Was Jordan Love given up on too early? Yes. Is it too late to right that wrong? Also yes.
You can’t buy back lost potential. Experience is compounding.
This ninja sho’ nuff knows his physics!
“Potential” energy? Moar like “wasted potential” amirite?
Man, do I miss the olden days, when folks thought I was wasting my potential. As opposed to the correct “wait, he’s a dumbass and this is really the best he can do” assessment.
“It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it”
He has a big year coming up. The narrative last year was once he was cut loose from tight coach control, you saw what he was capable of in the late season. But with film out there now… this year will tell.