JV Stand-Alone September Sabado Open Thread

Alas, there is no Lesser Footy to start one’s day with.  Sleep in if one can.

Steerfuckers South (-7) at Michigan (Noon, Fox)

How long has it been since not-THEEEE has gone into the Big House as a full-tuddy favoUrite?  Long fucking time, I’d bet.  But I’d still not touch this line with a ten-foot pole (that’s like, 30+ Farvenises!).  Depending champs are trotting out a glorified walk-on at quartered back, and the Steerfucker pass rush just might murder-kill him.

Pig Sooey (+7.5) at BDSM State (Noon, ABC)

I have no idea what to expect from either of these squadrons, but these programs have a history of being highly entropic.  And FFS, gotta watch something.

Unded Bill Snyders (-9) at Tulane (Noon, ESPN)

She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t liiiiiieeee….ok, maybe she lies a little bit.  Green Wave lost both coach and QB from last season’s spunky bunch, and one suspects they go straight back into the Dustbin of Irrelevance.

Baylor (+14.5) at Team Secular Big Love (3:30, Fox)

Yesterday’s news away to everyone’s Big Twaaalllllve favoUrite in their conference opener, scratch that – a nonconference matchup between two new conference foes.  THANKS, Obama!!!1111

Cornpone State (+3) at Cornpone (3:30, CBS)

There will be points.  Just not very many.

South Cakalaky (+8.5) at Kenfucky (3:30, ABC)

Will the Blue Moons keep on shinin?  Sure feels weird to see SEC matchups on ABC, PPPPAAAAAWWWWLLLLLLL.

Join Hippo in the night thread for pain and lamentations.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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clint greasewood

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Don T

Hello mofos. What a wonderful afternnon.

Brick Meathook

Over a Lake Erie, Cleveland is at lower right beneath the clouds. On westbound approach to Detroit.

https://ibb.co/dtLXXXQ

Brick Meathook

Tonight at 7 PM at the Academy Museum on Wilshire @ Fairfax (Miracle Mile, next to LACMA, across from Petersen Auto Museum) in Los Angeles. I have a ticket I’ll give for free (because I ended up being out of town) and I’d hate to see it go to waste because this should be a great show. DM me on Slack and I’ll email you the ticket.

https://www.academymuseum.org/en/programs/detail/burden-of-dreams-presented-by-werner-herzog-0190dc3c-1041-e1b8-b0c5-b7ef077bf10e

ballsofsteelandfury

SUCK IT, DOMERS!

Mr. Ayo

I want to root for Pegula, but Kraft is there and rooting for her too.

Instead, I’ll root for her mother to make a full recovery.

Mr. Ayo

Oh shit, Sir Lewis Hamilton is there too!

Horatio Cornblower

I’m able to root for her simply because she is not screaming as though her intestines were being pulled out with every shot.

Unlike her opponent.

Gumbygirl

I tore my back the fuck up last week, tryong to get Gumby in bed after he fell in the bathroom past week. I sound like Monica Seles every time I stand up or sit down.

Gumbygirl

Jesus Christ, I have a fucking English degree.

Gumbygirl

I have to have my shit together. He had a few Tramadol’s left from a while back, I’ve taken a couple of those when it’s crazy bad. Otherwise, it’s Blessed Mother Maryjane.

litre_cola

And are a fucking LADY!

Doktor Zymm

Looks like Jordan Love has a sprained MCL, not season ending but will miss a few games. Week 1 and Yahoo’s criticism of me drafting too many QBs in my superflex league has already been proven wrong!

Gumbygirl

He’s on my bench too.

yeah right

Finally watched the Eagles Packers replay because fuck you Peacock.

That’s a real shame about Love, especially since we play them in week 4.

He was having a perfectly shitty game too.

Mr. Ayo

Alright, settle down Canada. We have our nukes on standby.

litre_cola

This is fucking delicious. It should be 4.

Mr. Ayo

USA! USA! USA!

litre_cola

That goal was offside by the way.

Mr. Ayo

Maybe. And just maybe this nuke button is live.

litre_cola

That is exactly why I wanted 4.

Brick Meathook

Does any DFO Angeleno want to see “Burden of Dreams,” the 1979 documentary by Les Blank documentary about the making of Fitzcarraldo” by Werner Herzog, it’s showing in a 4K restoration at the Academy Museum by LACMA tonight (Sep 7) at 7:00PM. Werner Herzog himself will be there presenting it. I have a ticket, but I’m out of town and not flying in to LAX until late this evening so I’m gonna miss it (and I really wanted to be there). If you’re interested I’ll email you the ticket; you might be able to buy a second ticket at the door but I don’t know for sure. Herzog is an amazing filmmaker and an even more amazing speaker. This should be a great show. If interested DM me on Slack.

Horatio Cornblower

Were it not for being 3,000 miles away I would pay good money to hear Herzog talk about fighting with Klaus Kinski in the Peruvian jungles.

And the movie is good, too.

Mr. Ayo

If I was close enough, and sober, I’d totally do that.

Col. Duke LaCross

Saw that movie back when you had to send away for Netflix DVDs! The doc was better than the movie. Good companion to the “Heart of Darkness” doc on the making of “Apocalypse Now.”

litre_cola

Canucks are all over Greggggg’s old club.

Redshirt

UC is in the middle of choking away the game.

Horatio Cornblower

Arkansas absolutely displaying the brainpower I’d expect from an Arkansas education.

“The Earth is 4,000 years old, phrenology is a valid diagnostic method, and I’mma run into my own guy while he fair catches a punt.”

Horatio Cornblower

Fighting’ Horatio were up 56-7 on something called ‘Merrimack’ at the half.

Really hope they held on.

scotchnaut

She’s very slight. If UCONN can’t beat her, well…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwmT2Rls9sM&ab_channel=marymackcomedy

herodotus450

Gotta stoop pretty low to play a footbal game against a 200 year old frigate. And to still give up a whole touchdown!

Gumbygirl
Redshirt

Halftime at Penn State: “If you blow this game, I will personally escort all your younger brothers and sons to the locker room!”

Senor Weaselo

Hey Hippo, no love for San Marino winning a match?

Redshirt

Because I’m a good son who is driving his terminally ill father to a family reunion, I’ll be missing the Bengals game but make it home in time for Tom Brady Presents NFL Football.

ALS is the gift that keeps on gifting.

litre_cola

The fighting Horatios are taking it to something called Merry Mack.

Horatio Cornblower

Just posted something similar.

Merrimack is a small college in New Hampshire. FCS, and that’s probably pushing it. Basically if UConn didn’t do this they would needed to disband the football program.

Which means I’m kind of sorry they did, because the football program is going to, once again, destroy the basketball programs.

scotchnaut

Michigan deserves everything it gets because they hired spiraling downward dude Wink Martindale.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, that and all the cheating under Harbaugh.

Redshirt

(booing in Ann Arber)

I’ll be in my bunk.

Redshirt

Laces Out, JV Cincy!

Redshirt

Way to go, Bowling Green!

herodotus450

Turnover Items seem to have died a nice, quiet, peaceful, overdue death.

Redshirt

A. Reid has left the chat

Redshirt

Why am I getting ads for Pennsylvania politics? Do I get two votes this time or did PA lay claim to Ohio Territory?

ArmedandHammered

You only get two votes if your legal residence is in Louisiana and you are dead.

scotchnaut

Cowboys. Browns. Brady. Fuck. Off.

ArmedandHammered

The fellating he is going to receive as both a former player and now as a talking head is going to require all press boxes or studios to have their floors covered in towels.

ArmedandHammered

See, see, the fucker has even invaded the half time at the MI-TX game. Fuck, just retire and fade the fuck away, only to be brought out to bring the ‘member berries to ripeness. Fuck, is there no fucking place safe from that bastard!

blaxabbath

Everybody got weird names now.

Whatever happened to Washington?

Redshirt

We are potty training our cockatiel. My life choices are paying dividends.

Redshirt

JV Bengal Cubs vs JV Steel Mill Temp

2Pack

This past week has been the log in… Each… And every… Damn time… Again.

BugEyedBoo

If JV ain’t your thing, may I recommend Lord of the Rings, featuring Gandalf the Swole.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJCsNvEdDFA&t=2s

Horatio Cornblower

Middle Earth’s economy pretty clearly rises and falls on how the Gold’s Gym franchises are doing.

scotchnaut

I don’t hate the “Ump Cam”.

Redshirt

Let’s go…

(checks notes)

…Texas?! Dammit!

BugEyedBoo

Meteor!

ArmedandHammered

Texas – At least we ain’t Baylor.

litre_cola

Is it because they can conceal carry on campus?

BugEyedBoo

Some home cookin’ at the Big House.

ArmedandHammered

This Texas – Michigan game might be worth watching. Or I get so stoned I watch a RiffTrax of Manos Hand of Fate.

Senor Weaselo

Or you can riff it yourself!

I would love to do that with a friend. Chances are they’d mock me though.

ArmedandHammered

Actually decided to look up the original done with Joel who has always been my favorite over Mike or any of the others. I need to be even more wasted as that movie is some deep hurting man.

Senor Weaselo

Senorita Weaselo got The Amazing Bulk as a gag gift from her best friend. I would gladly riff it if she probably hasn’t thrown it out and accidentally destroyed it maliciously.

/It’s a Despicable Me ref, but before the minion overrun!

BugEyedBoo

Drill? Step up to a sawzall.

Horatio Cornblower

“have you tried simply not having migraines?”

-Joe Rogan, probably

scotchnaut

Wifey: “What do you want to do together today?”

Me: “We hung out all last weekend-I’m not some kind of Extrovert Superman you know.”

Wifey: [stews quietly in her own juices, remembering the type of guy she married]

edit/ I’ve done a dump run and defrosted the freezer while she was still in bed-I’m not totally useless

Last edited 1 month ago by scotchnaut
blaxabbath

Take her to Hawaii!

Gumbygirl

Cats, man.

2Pack

So Will Johnson DB from Michigan “is not afraid to make a big hit”.
Thanks ESPN… for that hard hitting pregame analysis…
I an now better prepared to watch the game.

ArmedandHammered

11:00 first bong rip of the day. I have been up since 7:30 and have been cleaning all the rabbit areas. To feel clean again will require freshly laundered clothes, a steam shower, a hot shower and finally a cold shower since it is going to be a warm humid day.

jjfozz

Like this?

s-l1600_93810ac8-c5bd-45ec-a7b4-3869f47279f9.jpg
ArmedandHammered

nope, just the litterboxes and all the other mess. My buddy Noir had to have a bladder flush and he is still having some incontinence issues which the vet said would happen, her analogy was having a lip stick camera forced up your urethra. I can imagine I would have some control issues after that.

ArmedandHammered

the way he has been lunging for the syringe with the pain meds, he is either a junkie now or is really hurting.

yeah right

It’s a magical read. Currently reading Ben Winters “The Quiet Boy” and really digging it.

blaxabbath

Shop at independent bookstores.

ArmedandHammered

There is actually a really nice one at Fearrington Village, forget the name but it was really, really nice. Ann Cleves has started a new series and I picked up the first one. Picked up another one titled Murder in Little Dibbling. I think that is the title.

ArmedandHammered

It is still there, maybe not in the same place, but I know it exists.

blaxabbath

Just use Walmart then. I don’t care.

Gumbygirl

Wonder if her middle name is Of?

litre_cola

Note. The soda water in mojitos help you not get wicked hungover. I feel like a million dollars this morning. Plus, no Fulham to get angry about!

Horatio Cornblower

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litre_cola

Lime juice may have helped too. I had 4 doubles, feel great. Sharky’s Rum was way stronger (nawt complaining) in taste than Don T’s Ron which was silky smooth.

Doktor Zymm

I’m guessing the vitamin C doesn’t hurt either, although I learned recently that lemons actually have more than limes

Last edited 1 month ago by Doktor Zymm
2Pack

JJFozz would probably appreciate some now.

jjfozz

I crawled out of bed at 8 am for Soccer Day and I’ve been sucking water since. Just got out from trying to do yardwork with my fucking asshole piece of fucking shit Dewalt edger – with a battery guaranteed to die after 15 minutes of use.

No I’m to the dump. Fucking life of a white suburban dad. Kill me.

2Pack

Living.
Life.
Large!

litre_cola

I appreciate your struggle. I am at Decilitre’s swimming lesson. I am thankful for no raging hangover as it is as hot and humid in here as the Bolivian jungle.

blaxabbath

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ArmedandHammered

Nope, most of the idlers and imbeciles now live out west, present company excluded of course.

Gumbygirl

Only if you count Texas as out west. And Florida.

Senor Weaselo

All I know about Steerfuckers South vs. Michigan is that Derek Jeter’s the honorary captain.

So he’ll get the most coverage during the game.

Senor Weaselo
jjfozz

McConaghy is my man crush.

2Pack

A lady I know from WV said the staff at Marshall U confirmed the rumor that he bathes irregularly. They said the hotel staff where he stayed during filming had to toss out the mattress from his room.

BugEyedBoo

Wife just told me, “He looks like a weird guy.”

2Pack

He’s already all over the pregame.

ArmedandHammered

You know what he likes about college football? No matter how old he gets the college girls are all the same age.

ArmedandHammered

Just read that again, by Morrigan’s icy heart I am so high.

Horatio Cornblower

God I hate the Premier League breaks.

Mr. Ayo

Yeah, WTF is this? I needed that sleep in warning yesterday!

litre_cola

International break. Canucks v USMNT today tho!

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, because that game affects the Premier League.

scotchnaut

The bright side for the league though? No Haaland hat trick this weekend!

Horatio Cornblower

He’s still somehow gonna score two.

blaxabbath

Oh good. I’m up all early.