Alas, there is no Lesser Footy to start one’s day with. Sleep in if one can.
Steerfuckers South (-7) at Michigan (Noon, Fox)
How long has it been since not-THEEEE has gone into the Big House as a full-tuddy favoUrite? Long fucking time, I’d bet. But I’d still not touch this line with a ten-foot pole (that’s like, 30+ Farvenises!). Depending champs are trotting out a glorified walk-on at quartered back, and the Steerfucker pass rush just might murder-kill him.
Pig Sooey (+7.5) at BDSM State (Noon, ABC)
I have no idea what to expect from either of these squadrons, but these programs have a history of being highly entropic. And FFS, gotta watch something.
Unded Bill Snyders (-9) at Tulane (Noon, ESPN)
She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t liiiiiieeee….ok, maybe she lies a little bit. Green Wave lost both coach and QB from last season’s spunky bunch, and one suspects they go straight back into the Dustbin of Irrelevance.
Baylor (+14.5) at Team Secular Big Love (3:30, Fox)
Yesterday’s news away to everyone’s Big Twaaalllllve favoUrite in their conference opener, scratch that – a nonconference matchup between two new conference foes. THANKS, Obama!!!1111
Cornpone State (+3) at Cornpone (3:30, CBS)
There will be points. Just not very many.
South Cakalaky (+8.5) at Kenfucky (3:30, ABC)
Will the Blue Moons keep on shinin? Sure feels weird to see SEC matchups on ABC, PPPPAAAAAWWWWLLLLLLL.
Join Hippo in the night thread for pain and lamentations.
Hello mofos. What a wonderful afternnon.
Over a Lake Erie, Cleveland is at lower right beneath the clouds. On westbound approach to Detroit.
https://ibb.co/dtLXXXQ
Tonight at 7 PM at the Academy Museum on Wilshire @ Fairfax (Miracle Mile, next to LACMA, across from Petersen Auto Museum) in Los Angeles. I have a ticket I’ll give for free (because I ended up being out of town) and I’d hate to see it go to waste because this should be a great show. DM me on Slack and I’ll email you the ticket.
https://www.academymuseum.org/en/programs/detail/burden-of-dreams-presented-by-werner-herzog-0190dc3c-1041-e1b8-b0c5-b7ef077bf10e
SUCK IT, DOMERS!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Should have napped longer, the 3:30 window is total ass.
I want to root for Pegula, but Kraft is there and rooting for her too.
Instead, I’ll root for her mother to make a full recovery.
Oh shit, Sir Lewis Hamilton is there too!
I’m able to root for her simply because she is not screaming as though her intestines were being pulled out with every shot.
Unlike her opponent.
I tore my back the fuck up last week, tryong to get Gumby in bed after he fell in the bathroom past week. I sound like Monica Seles every time I stand up or sit down.
Jesus Christ, I have a fucking English degree.
AND a tranche of morphine, which it sounds like you earned a share!
I have to have my shit together. He had a few Tramadol’s left from a while back, I’ve taken a couple of those when it’s crazy bad. Otherwise, it’s Blessed Mother Maryjane.
And are a fucking LADY!
Looks like Jordan Love has a sprained MCL, not season ending but will miss a few games. Week 1 and Yahoo’s criticism of me drafting too many QBs in my superflex league has already been proven wrong!
He’s on my bench too.
Finally watched the Eagles Packers replay because fuck you Peacock.
That’s a real shame about Love, especially since we play them in week 4.
He was having a perfectly shitty game too.
Alright, settle down Canada. We have our nukes on standby.
This is fucking delicious. It should be 4.
USA! USA! USA!
That goal was offside by the way.
Maybe. And just maybe this nuke button is live.
That is exactly why I wanted 4.
Does any DFO Angeleno want to see “Burden of Dreams,” the 1979 documentary by Les Blank documentary about the making of Fitzcarraldo” by Werner Herzog, it’s showing in a 4K restoration at the Academy Museum by LACMA tonight (Sep 7) at 7:00PM. Werner Herzog himself will be there presenting it. I have a ticket, but I’m out of town and not flying in to LAX until late this evening so I’m gonna miss it (and I really wanted to be there). If you’re interested I’ll email you the ticket; you might be able to buy a second ticket at the door but I don’t know for sure. Herzog is an amazing filmmaker and an even more amazing speaker. This should be a great show. If interested DM me on Slack.
Were it not for being 3,000 miles away I would pay good money to hear Herzog talk about fighting with Klaus Kinski in the Peruvian jungles.
And the movie is good, too.
If I was close enough, and sober, I’d totally do that.
Saw that movie back when you had to send away for Netflix DVDs! The doc was better than the movie. Good companion to the “Heart of Darkness” doc on the making of “Apocalypse Now.”
Canucks are all over Greggggg’s old club.
UC is in the middle of choking away the game.
Arkansas absolutely displaying the brainpower I’d expect from an Arkansas education.
“The Earth is 4,000 years old, phrenology is a valid diagnostic method, and I’mma run into my own guy while he fair catches a punt.”
Fighting’ Horatio were up 56-7 on something called ‘Merrimack’ at the half.
Really hope they held on.
She’s very slight. If UCONN can’t beat her, well…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwmT2Rls9sM&ab_channel=marymackcomedy
Gotta stoop pretty low to play a footbal game against a 200 year old frigate. And to still give up a whole touchdown!
https://youtu.be/uX7ixF80Rnk?feature=shared
Halftime at Penn State: “If you blow this game, I will personally escort all your younger brothers and sons to the locker room!”
Hey Hippo, no love for San Marino winning a match?
I read the entire Athletic/NYT article on their triumph! Me just no brainspace for expanding my writings.
A nation of 33K, though. That’s smaller than the town where I live.
Because I’m a good son who is driving his terminally ill father to a family reunion, I’ll be missing the Bengals game but make it home in time for Tom Brady Presents NFL Football.
ALS is the gift that keeps on gifting.
The fighting Horatios are taking it to something called Merry Mack.
Just posted something similar.
Merrimack is a small college in New Hampshire. FCS, and that’s probably pushing it. Basically if UConn didn’t do this they would needed to disband the football program.
Which means I’m kind of sorry they did, because the football program is going to, once again, destroy the basketball programs.
Michigan deserves everything it gets because they hired spiraling downward dude Wink Martindale.
Well, that and all the cheating under Harbaugh.
SEC, PAAAAWWWWLLL??
SEC, PAAAAWWWWLLL!!!!
(booing in Ann Arber)
I’ll be in my bunk.
Laces Out, JV Cincy!
Way to go, Bowling Green!
Turnover Items seem to have died a nice, quiet, peaceful, overdue death.
A. Reid has left the chat
All coming up scotchy, SillyCuse taking down the ranked Bees and nobody looks on target to score 69 this week!
Why am I getting ads for Pennsylvania politics? Do I get two votes this time or did PA lay claim to Ohio Territory?
You only get two votes if your legal residence is in Louisiana and you are dead.
Cowboys. Browns. Brady. Fuck. Off.
Thank fuck for RedZone, and 3 competing 4p kicks.
The fellating he is going to receive as both a former player and now as a talking head is going to require all press boxes or studios to have their floors covered in towels.
See, see, the fucker has even invaded the half time at the MI-TX game. Fuck, just retire and fade the fuck away, only to be brought out to bring the ‘member berries to ripeness. Fuck, is there no fucking place safe from that bastard!
At least when he played quartered back, his calibre of play was at least high (Hippo says through gritted-to-nubs teeth). He’s going to be wretched at this, has no personality whatsoever. He’d bore Joe Flacco. Joe Fucking Flacco.
How on earth is a quartered back named “Taylen” not on BYU???
Everybody got weird names now.
Whatever happened to Washington?
We are potty training our cockatiel. My life choices are paying dividends.
Which game you watching? One assumes self-abuse during this UM snuff film.
JV Bengal Cubs vs JV Steel Mill Temp
There ya go. Spots being aired for those dozens of Pitt fans.
This past week has been the log in… Each… And every… Damn time… Again.
If JV ain’t your thing, may I recommend Lord of the Rings, featuring Gandalf the Swole.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJCsNvEdDFA&t=2s
Middle Earth’s economy pretty clearly rises and falls on how the Gold’s Gym franchises are doing.
I don’t hate the “Ump Cam”.
Let’s go…
(checks notes)
…Texas?! Dammit!
Meteor!
Texas – At least we ain’t Baylor.
We don’t take “no” for an answer, but at least we ask first!
Is it because they can conceal carry on campus?
yew really gon’ say no to a GOOD GUY with a gun smgdh
Some home cookin’ at the Big House.
This Texas – Michigan game might be worth watching. Or I get so stoned I watch a RiffTrax of Manos Hand of Fate.
Or you can riff it yourself!
I would love to do that with a friend. Chances are they’d mock me though.
Actually decided to look up the original done with Joel who has always been my favorite over Mike or any of the others. I need to be even more wasted as that movie is some deep hurting man.
Senorita Weaselo got The Amazing Bulk as a gag gift from her best friend. I would gladly riff it if she probably hasn’t thrown it out and accidentally destroyed it maliciously.
/It’s a Despicable Me ref, but before the minion overrun!
You know that part of Pi where the lead is so sick of his migraines and the myriad thoughts running through his head…that he lobotomizes himself with a power drill?
Yeah, that’s me. But even in post-divorce, I abide by my then-wife’s rule against me using tools beyond wrench, screwdriver, and hammer. And the last one only with supervision.
Drill? Step up to a sawzall.
Just the name is skerry. Skerry liek snek.
“have you tried simply not having migraines?”
-Joe Rogan, probably
Wifey: “What do you want to do together today?”
Me: “We hung out all last weekend-I’m not some kind of Extrovert Superman you know.”
Wifey: [stews quietly in her own juices, remembering the type of guy she married]
edit/ I’ve done a dump run and defrosted the freezer while she was still in bed-I’m not totally useless
Take her to Hawaii!
Grandson cat was a real asshole overnight. Attacked my “hand by head while sleeping” formation, then went after my Achilles an hour or so later. Good thing the fucker is cute. And family.
Cats, man.
So Will Johnson DB from Michigan “is not afraid to make a big hit”.
Thanks ESPN… for that hard hitting pregame analysis…
I an now better prepared to watch the game.
11:00 first bong rip of the day. I have been up since 7:30 and have been cleaning all the rabbit areas. To feel clean again will require freshly laundered clothes, a steam shower, a hot shower and finally a cold shower since it is going to be a warm humid day.
Like this?
nope, just the litterboxes and all the other mess. My buddy Noir had to have a bladder flush and he is still having some incontinence issues which the vet said would happen, her analogy was having a lip stick camera forced up your urethra. I can imagine I would have some control issues after that.
the way he has been lunging for the syringe with the pain meds, he is either a junkie now or is really hurting.
BROTHER!!!!
Started “The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store” (per yeah right’s recommend) yesterday, and I already feel like an honoUrary MoT.*
*BFC’s final ruling pending
It’s a magical read. Currently reading Ben Winters “The Quiet Boy” and really digging it.
OH SNAP, didn’t know he had a new one out. That’ll be rectified by way of Amazon, post haste.
Shop at independent bookstores.
Ours done r-u-n-n-o-f-t
There is actually a really nice one at Fearrington Village, forget the name but it was really, really nice. Ann Cleves has started a new series and I picked up the first one. Picked up another one titled Murder in Little Dibbling. I think that is the title.
I used to go to Quail Ridge when I remembered it was there. Which I guess weren’t often enough.
It is still there, maybe not in the same place, but I know it exists.
I am past 50. If it’s not exactly where I expect it to be, then it don’t exist no MOAR
Just use Walmart then. I don’t care.
Wonder if her middle name is Of?
Note. The soda water in mojitos help you not get wicked hungover. I feel like a million dollars this morning. Plus, no Fulham to get angry about!
Lime juice may have helped too. I had 4 doubles, feel great. Sharky’s Rum was way stronger (nawt complaining) in taste than Don T’s Ron which was silky smooth.
Fresh lime is the key to anything healthy. You can make a juice chock full of veggies, so long as you add a lime and mix well? That rules the flavoUr profile.
I’m guessing the vitamin C doesn’t hurt either, although I learned recently that lemons actually have more than limes
JJFozz would probably appreciate some now.
I crawled out of bed at 8 am for Soccer Day and I’ve been sucking water since. Just got out from trying to do yardwork with my fucking asshole piece of fucking shit Dewalt edger – with a battery guaranteed to die after 15 minutes of use.
No I’m to the dump. Fucking life of a white suburban dad. Kill me.
Living.
Life.
Large!
I appreciate your struggle. I am at Decilitre’s swimming lesson. I am thankful for no raging hangover as it is as hot and humid in here as the Bolivian jungle.
Nope, most of the idlers and imbeciles now live out west, present company excluded of course.
Only if you count Texas as out west. And Florida.
All I know about Steerfuckers South vs. Michigan is that Derek Jeter’s the honorary captain.
So he’ll get the most coverage during the game.
Fox has that prick, along with Matthew McConaghy on its pre-game. There can be no winners in Steerfuckers/Meechigan
Obligatory:
https://youtu.be/kw7v_1xT6mA?si=MQBhfKFPP-Ge-Co3
McConaghy is my man crush.
He does seem like he’d be a warm and generoUs lover.
A lady I know from WV said the staff at Marshall U confirmed the rumor that he bathes irregularly. They said the hotel staff where he stayed during filming had to toss out the mattress from his room.
yeah, that’s a “no” then, dawg. Hippo ain’t about the stank.
Wife just told me, “He looks like a weird guy.”
He’s already all over the pregame.
You know what he likes about college football? No matter how old he gets the college girls are all the same age.
Just read that again, by Morrigan’s icy heart I am so high.
God I hate the Premier League breaks.
Yeah, WTF is this? I needed that sleep in warning yesterday!
International break. Canucks v USMNT today tho!
Yeah, because that game affects the Premier League.
The bright side for the league though? No Haaland hat trick this weekend!
He’s still somehow gonna score two.
Oh good. I’m up all early.
#MeToo