We’ve made it all the way back with detours on both Thursday and Friday night. (not bad tilts either!) But now it’s Sunday, time to ignore (or revel?) in the family as the games unfold. I expect a roll call of snacks and beverages from all those that post their thoughts/wares on this here thingy.
To The Games!
Steelers/Falcons:
Tomlin’s voodoo will ensure that Pitt has another winning season which will make it twenty straight for the franchise and tie the Cowboys mark from 1965-85. For a guy that has posted three consecutive 1,000 yard rushing campaigns, Najee doesn’t seem to get much respect-everyone wants the kid with the new, faster wheels-Jaylen Warren-to take over. But committee it will be and the Steelers win chances will be enhanced as a result.
Cards/Bills:
Murray’s been around for six years already? Man, that’s the sound of me getting older and time flying by. Do you see/feel a window closing in Buffalo? That’s the scuttlebutt given that they axed six of their captains and retained only 11 players that were on the roster last year. The wr room seems a bit compromised to me in the skill department but I know exactly squat.
Titans/Bears:
Two new-ish looking teams take the field. Recent signees Boyd, Pollard and Ridley bring some dynamism to a Tennessee project that said goodbye to their identity when King Henry left the castle. We’ll just have to see how this Will Levis kid adjusts in his second year. At some point this season I may just write something respectful regarding Chicago’s offense which will be the first time in the ten years I’ve been doing this gig.
Pats/Bengals:
What is New England anyway? Does it even matter if Burrow is healthy and there’s drama going on with his wideouts and the new weird haircut and what the hell? I’m a simple scribe and this game confuses me. I have no idea what is going on with either of these teams.
Texans/Colts:
Can Diggs regain his form from two years ago? One of my fantasy teams (I know, I know) happens to think that Slowik will get things figured out. So that answers my next question about the juice left in Mixon’s legs as well. Is Richardson essentially a rookie or has the extra time studying the game while rehabbing given him an added maturity? Opinions differ.
Jax/Fins:
Folks are down on Lawrence a wee bit but the wavy-haired wonder has the fifth-most passing yards of any qb at the three year mark of his career ever. Somehow ham-handed Evan Engram, with 114 catches, came within two of franchise record-holder Jimmy Smith. Maybe we should call him White Flight because getting the hell out of New York did him a helluva good.
Panthers/Saints:
Come on down, Dave Canales! Somehow you’re the seventh head coach in six seasons for Carolina. That ‘somehow’ is due to Tepper being an incompetent boob that won’t let his football people do their jobs. I eagerly await the inevitably leaked reports of the ‘toxic workplace’ he’s created.
Vikes/Giants:
This is the year we find out if JJ is quarterback-proof. Actually, Darnold will likely get out of the gate fast (no better team to do it against than New York) before eventually being who he is. The Giants flipped athleticism at the rb spot for some at the wr position in the form of wr Nabers. It’s the hope that kills you.
Enjoy.
Cousins showing his inner Falcons-loathing there.
Bears Defense playing like the Bears defense of old. Bears offense is playing like the Bears offense of old.
but Malibu Stacy has NEW HAT!!!
IwantitIwantitIwantitIwantitIwantitmemememememe
I will say this about Chicago: for better or for worse, at least the city is consistent about being in the same spot on a map and in our hearts.
Justin Fields?? Really, Steelers??
Pretty sus…
It’s interesting. Let’s call it that.
Richardson put plenty of gravy on that’un
Yoooooo!
That was Rockingggg!!!!
his honky ran a really nice go route, too!
God damn, what an arm. That kid might be good after all.
of course, Hippo has ZERO shares
goddammit Hill, fucking catch something.
caught a charge, if I’m not mistaken….
He caught a pair of handcuffs, a boot, and a speeding ticket this morning
(other than police attention)
Whaddya mean? He already caught a charge this morning, I hear.
Catch something that at least resembles a football, I play fantasy football, not fantasy “criminal charges laid on palyers”
Qards showing why everyone been taking the touchbacks.
Panthers QB first pass of the season is a PICK INT!
Hahahaha! Yikes!
Doesn’t seem rocking
I’d make a joke about Will Levis and Mayo but he’s having a hard enough day already.
oh dear god
To be fair those were never intended to be viewed on color tv.
Wow, that’s…wow.
Bryce Young in mid season form already!
those NYG lineman sure dont seem to care how many hits Dany Dimes is taking.
What Temu supplier did the Giants order today’s uniform from?? Yeesh.
They kinda seem like Hockey uniforms
Lmao
The New York Football Canadiens!
They are 100 year old throw backs in “honor” of their 100th year in the shield.
I got $100 on the bastard offspring of Fanatics and Nike.
Happy RedZone Sunday, my fellow degenerates. Life is so fucking good.
The New York Giants Throw Up Uniforms
Olivia has a sticker for that.
THIS GUY RAHID SHAHEED I CALL HIM SPEEDY SHEEDY BECAUSE THE NEURONS IN MY BRAIN ARE MISFIRING
Bottle of white before a pub party? Hell yeah, blackout time estimation is 3 pm.
I assume that’s short for “pubic party”?
haldo
All right, time to see what’s OH MY GOD BURN THE CENTURY REDS.
So I am out on the porch to stay out of my wife’s way and so she can watch tennis later. As soon as football started she came out here and started to vacuum the rug on the porch where I am, to get out of her way.
that;s great passive-aggressive hustle!
That is quality passive-aggressive action.
She learned well from her mom, the champion of passive aggressive.
You sure you aren’t with Dr. Mrs RTD with all that vacuuming?
“So this is what it feels like when doves cry”
She is not even using the right vacuum. I have a shop vac out here to do the rabbit area but she uses the regular floor vacuum and complains when the hay clogs it up which will not happen with the shop vac.
“Listen if you have so many opinions about how it should be done maybe you should be doing the vacuuming…”
It was gotten at her request, goddamn it, you think I buy anything for the house without checking with her first? Well except the 6ft bean bag I am sitting on now. Maybe why she vacuumed out here first.
See that’s when I would simply walk into the house and unplug the vacuum.
duh, of course 8-chan ran it down the right
Giants first play from scrimmage? A run up the middle. WOO! I mean, FUCK!
Good god are those Giants uniforms hideous.
It’s an USFL alternate jersey from 1983. It’s a collector’s item, I’ll have you know.
Then let the collectors grab them already and get them off my TV. Hideous.
holy shit, what the fuck is that kit, VEP???
Apparently this is free preview of RedZone Channel this week, for the cheapskates/infidels who ain’t already signed up
Excellent timing for my internet to start working five minutes before gametime! It’s been off since last night. Fucking Spectrum.
Lisan al-Caleb, He will lead you to the paradise!
Let’s do this.
Lmao!
Gonna have some brats, Potato salad and pork rinds as is tradition.
See y’all on the other side.
Was thinking ahead and made a chili yesterday with two 24oz ribeyes, an 18oz t-bone, one pound of ground beef and three hot Italian sausages.
/Andy is DM’ing constantly, asking if I’m on Onlyfans
I’m not going to ask what kind of animal those “steaks” and “sausages” were cut from.
You only doing a single serving of chili?
HOW THE FUCK YA DOIN BOYS?! MEN! ITS FINALLY HERE!
I am seriously on the edge of tears I am so happy it’s today
save those tears for when the Donks offense take the field
oh, I have resigned myself to 3-14
fitting, i get nacho for my game
I have a feeling Tom Brady is going bust as an announcer.
Oh and how the fuck you doing boys?
DUCHESS in da house too!!!
Tossing tomatoes at him to lead him to inflammation
Found a funny:
avocado toast but instead of avocado it’s pepperoni and instead of toast it’s pizza dough and sauce and cheese
Good afternoon and happy football you fine, fancy motherfuckers.
WELCOME HOME!!! And the Jest can’t let you down today, even…
Good to be back! Also, they’re the Jets, they exist in a perpetual state of letting me down.
“You don’t wear a tux for Sunday football? Pity.”
BREAKING: TY HILL HAS BEEN DETAINED INFRONT OF HARD ROCK STADIUM BY THE POLICE FOR DRIVING WHILE BLACK!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBOvfN2Y4oo
Got word that Kendrick Lamar is performing at the Super Bowl Halftime Show this year!
THATS ROCKING!!!!
/youngest has a new-ish girlfriend
Him: “She wanted to have a ‘movie day’ so that’s what we’re doing.”
Me: “Ok. What are you thinking?”
Him: “We haven’t decided but I thought I might introduce her to one of the classics like Talladega Nights or ‘Dude, Where’s My Car?'”
Me: “HA!” [thinks, ‘he’s my kid for sure’]
Nah, you want to go with something indescribably dull so she’ll get bored and want to fool around.
He’s 20 and she’s 18, it’s going to happen no matter what.
If this is Western Civilization’s end (coin flip), let’s make this FITBAW SEASON memorable.
Kind of considering putting Curtis Samuels in my flex instead of Chase Brown just because of the dearth of people for Josh Allen to throw to. I probably won’t though because I’m not doing it right now and I won’t be looking at my team again until halftime
With WR issues, Bengals may rely on the running game. That’s no guarantee they’ll succeed though.
I have left Zack Moss in
He’s mine.
Turns off pregame shows, and preps with the Glorious Redzone Launch music in preparation for the glorious Octobox
Legend has it, God Himself listened to the Redzone Launch for seven days straight before He created the universe.
This is the way, the truth, and the light. Maybe do a line of beak in solidarity with The Greatest Living American (Scott Muthafuckin’ Hanson).
/ok, I guess coffee shall suffice
Have you thought about going all out? Maybe a reduced-calorie peach spritzer?
whoa now let’s NAWT say sommet we can’t take back!!!
That’s ROCKING!
Redshirt: “ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOT-“ (phone beeps) “BREAKING: Tee Higgins inactive”
Redshirt: “ARE YOU READY F-” (phone beeps) “BREAKING: JaMarr Chase active but limited”
Redshirt: (stares at phone)
Phone: (…)
Redshirt: (stares at phone)
Phone: (…)
Redshirt: (stares at phone)
Phone: (…)
Redshirt: “Are-” (phone beeps) “BREAKING: Rookie Jermaine Burton underperforming in practice. May not see field.”
Redshirt: “Well I better get ready for some football. I think I’ll be needed at WR today.”
This will help, Redshirt:
I took
Bucs -3.5
Chargers -3
Texans -2.5
ah football season. where i turn on my tv, watch commercials of tv shows that remind me that without sports, tv is truly dead
The NBA playoffs are like that for me. I get to see what shows TNT is going to be broadcasting into the abyss during the upcoming year.
NBA doesn’t realize how much the Inside the NBA boosts the NBA games. When the contract is up, am going to straight streaming Spurs games.
and pretty soon what tnt will be broadcasting all year round
thanks, adam silver!
looks like a kick
https://x.com/Angry_Staffer/status/1832807445845954710
Don’t sell single cigarettes; don’t get arrested.
I feel like comments on posts older than six hours never see the light of day (BECAUSE DFO IS CUTTING EDGE, ELON!) and I wanted to drop a praise because —
Well first, one of my favorite joke templates around here is, “This is an example of a piss poor defense” — example: RB’s cut through the line like a hot knife through butter. Because soft defense, to me, is like the most offensive thing you can be in the NFL (probably the old rules NFL) so clowning on soft defenses is very appropriate. Very natural.
So Dok dropped this is her WAS preview and it made me chuckle and so I wanted to give praise.
https://x.com/AdamSchefter/status/1832795681188184474
I realize that Tyreek is not remotely a sympathetic figure but splayed out on the pavement so that you can be cuffed by multiple officers in public, from what I’ve read, is a humiliation that black men just expect to happen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5BL4RNFr58&ab_channel=JamesBrownVevo
Crazy coincidence that someone was going by at such a slow speed and was able to record it. Almost too crazy…
THAT’s an actual, bonafide FULL OCTOBOX, y’all!!!
Donks/Obama 2012 shirt is on, let’s do a thing!
Ah, the gambling addict’s dilemma.
nfl script writers borrowing from golf? so who is gonna get attacked on thanksgiving by their wife for cheating with porn stars
Just a matter of time until the Saudis buy a team and the salary cap gets cut to $40mil total per team.
Oh good, Terry Bradshaw’s still alive.