Your Sunday Morning Football Open Thread

Hey there’s a wee bit of Premier League football action before the NFL type revs up so join in, if you dare.

To The Games!

Saints/Cowboys:

Zeke and Rico split the backfield carries last week, settling nothing whatsoever. In a dearthly scoring week Derek Carr of all qb’s led the league in most end zone throws with four. Rashid Shaheed reminds me a bit of Tyreek in how he’s starting his career-of the burner’s 10 TD’s so far, five of them have come from more than 50 yards out.

Bucs/Lions:

Buoyed by last week’s stats Baker continues to impress. In his last seven games he has 18 TD’s and just 4 INT’s. Let’s see how he fares vs the Detroit pass rush though. Cool your fantasy jets on rook Bucky Irving-he acquitted himself well but that was on just 20 snaps.

Colts/Packers:

Love is questionable and the Packers brain trust would be deemed so as well if they threw that asset on to the field today. So we have Malik Willis behind center-he’s started all of three games and didn’t pass for even 100 yards in any of them. His peer on the other side of the ball is Richardson who is entertaining in a “NO, NO, NO…YES!” kind of way.

Jets/Titans:

Rodgers has now gone 7 games without having a multiple TD game and is currently 23 games into not having thrown for 300 yards. The end is near and he did it his way, which was the wrong way. Speaking of lousy qb-ing, Will Levis gifted his opponent a pick-six and his team with a paltry four yards per pass attempt.

Niners/Vikes:

The Magical Disappearing Man McCaffrey is headed to IR. Oof! Do you think Baby Shanny regrets giving him a million billion touches last year? Ah, who’s kidding, as long as Mason can deliver on the cheap San Fran’s offense will roll along. Darnold was perfectly cromulent last week, making fans think that maybe the ghost sightings won’t start for a few more weeks at least.

Seahawks/Pats:

I can’t get a handle on either of these teams just yet but good on both for getting the W last week. We know that Rhamondre will get some work and Seattle’s 31st-ranked run D gave up only 99 yards on the ground so there’s something to track I guess.

Giants/Commies:

A multi-week stay in the basement of the NFC East awaits the loser of this tilt. Thing is, both Dimes and Kayvon have a history of playing well against Washington. Red Zone would be wise to steer clear of this travesty.

Chargers/Panteros:

Fantasy folks that were down on Herbert going into the season were rewarded with a 144 yard effort last week. Look for that number to go up because Carolina (and their qb) didn’t appear to make any progress at all in the offseason.

Browns/Jax:

Despite 10 attempts Watson didn’t complete a single pass of 15+ air yards last week. Something must have been on his mind. He’s yet to throw for 300 yards as a Brown. Tank Bigsby was a huge disappointment last year but made an impression with 73 yards on 12 carries. Perhaps he’s got things figured out, which is nice to see from a 2nd-year player.

Raiders/Ravens:

The reigning NFL MVP got off to the hottest of starts last week, running for the most yards (qb) in an opening game ever. Will he hold up running that often at his new reduced weight? [shakes Ozempic stick] “Signs Point To No”.

Have at it.

5 4 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
210 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Bogdanski

Richardson just did a “NO NO NO….NNNOOOO”

litre_cola

I like the cut of this Rasheed Shaheed’s jib.

Spur

Fucking Dallas. Always turning into pumpkins

Horatio Cornblower

Weird, is it January already?

Doktor Zymm

Lookin like a good day for Brisket!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

comment image

[With a mouth full of PF Changs] “HI, I’M MARK DAVIS!”

King Hippo

In fareness, 26 is basically 40 in stripper years

King Hippo

Feel the flat route with his hands
Schoon-man

Doktor Zymm

Goff dammit

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– the Dr. Mrs. to yours truly, every morning

King Hippo

Jayden Daniels, leading Blax over Grimace Touched My Butthole

Doktor Zymm

Ah crap, looks like the refs are gonna treat Jayden Daniels more like Cam than Brady

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I hope they’re ready for the wrath of li’l Jayden’s mom.

blaxabbath

There’s no shortage of athletic young black men to sacrifice for the $.

Doktor Zymm

Panthers do a slightly better!

King Hippo

Lookit y’all Black Panthers

Spur

Carr trouble for Dallas

King Hippo

Bitchin Kamara!

He ran over a Cowperson

Doktor Zymm

Carr benefiting from being on a team that doesn’t contain Henry Ruggs or Britt Reid

2Pack

New season, new hostess.

IMG_20240915_190455.jpg
ballsofsteelandfury

And a name

2Pack

More to follow. Gotta do my usual research.

JustStopDude

Vegas not willing to gamble on 3rd and long.

Spur

i have to illegal stream the Dallas game here. They want to show RaMMIT and Cards in the afternoon, why?

King Hippo

Far be it from Hippo to question the wisdom of The Shield, but 10/3 is a fucking ridiculous split.

Spur

need to get those late afternoon DUI numbers down.

Doktor Zymm

OPEN YOUR NOTEBOOKS

Spur

my picks
Chargers – 4.5
NYGvWah – under 43.5
Rams +1.5

Doktor Zymm

Seems reasonable enough

Doktor Zymm

Although maybe giving too much credit to the WAS and NYG defenses

Doktor Zymm

Ugh, computer better finish this forced update of windows in the next 5 minutes

Spur

comment image

King Hippo

Ms. Jackson if u nasty

Spur

Morning Folks

King Hippo

Who or what has ever been dumb enough to go to war with the Swifties, and lived to tell the tale?

Gatoraids

if they thought being Swift boated was bad

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Kinda wonder how Brittany Mahomes is going to react to this. It would be gratifying if she said something like “You just lost my vote, asshole” but if she’s actually a member of the cult her reaction will be something more like “Taylor attacked him and he’s just defending himself.”

Doktor Zymm

I don’t think she’ll respond at all, unless she’s way dumber than we think

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s not physically possible for her to be any dumber than *I* think she is.

litre_cola

Was going to say this

Doktor Zymm

Oh, it’s a high bar, but it’s ALWAYS possible

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS BRITTANY MAHOMES I CALL HER KELLY STAFFORD BECAUSE HALF HER BRAIN IS MISSING.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

[Nods and bombs another hospital]

–Israel

blaxabbath

I think it’s the call to his cult to kill their children and grandchildren

He’s trying to balance out all the dead boomers he sent to a timely grave before the 2020 election.

Senor Weaselo

After playing the first two (exhibition since the next season won’t start with us until December) games…

THIS BROOKLYN NOCTURNES BULLPEN I CALL THEM ASHY LARRY BECAUSE ONCE THEY COME IN THE GOOD ROLLS GO AWAY AT THE WORST POSSIBLE TIME.

JustStopDude

Is Tom Brady running for President? I swear to God, the only political commercials I keep getting is Kamala Harris for president and Fox Sports begging people to give Tom a second chance.

2Pack

Man, I just got my first load of Tom Brady the broadcaster on the Fox pregame show. What an awkward dork.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He makes JD Vance seem as suave as…no I can’t make that joke, there’s nobody in the world that can surpass Vance’s awkwardness.

Gatoraids

Daaleks were more emotional

2Pack

He making Bradshaw look like Cronkite.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

JD VANCE: Do you want a picture [with me] too?

WOMAN: I’m okay.

https://www.tiktok.com/@couriernewsroom/video/7414681456749972766?_r=1&_t=8pkJ6T6vMmw

Doktor Zymm

Doxy: Victorian prostitute
Doxie: Daschund

King Hippo

I can’t imagine the Commies nor VEP actually beating anyone. So…season’s first Most Glorious DRAW??

Doktor Zymm

It’s the battle for the basement of the NFC East

fleshwound_NPG

things are going well

trump-swift.jpg
Doktor Zymm

Totally

FB_IMG_1726417357780.jpg
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Aw man joining Steph Curry’s family for roast pig and a rewatch of the debate sounds like heaven.

Spur

Kelce needs to kick his ass

fleshwound_NPG
ballsofsteelandfury

Solheim Cup, anyone?

Bueller?

Doktor Zymm

In my superflex league Tannehill, Drake Maye, and Penix are all owned.
*laughs in Yahoo grade of C- for drafting too many QBs*

Doktor Zymm

I’m actually really looking forward to the horrible Europe games so there will be a purpose to being awake right now

King Hippo

amen, sistah

clint greasewood
blaxabbath

“OK Will, for this next photo I want you to really flex that right bicep.”

Horatio Cornblower

Huge game next week. Hoping Arsenal goes for it this time and doesn’t play for the tie like last year. Not gonna catch Man City that way.

I mean, you’re not gonna catch Man City anyway, but at least try.

Last edited 2 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ooh, that didn’t miss by much. Huge sigh of relief.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wonder if there’s a market for an ad-free search engine. As in, it only indexes websites that don’t serve ads. Sites like ours.

Doktor Zymm

So you want to make a search engine that only sends people to Wikipedia and our site?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, I mean I figure they will get bored of wikipedia eventually.

Doktor Zymm

I don’t know, it’s been over 23 years and I’m still not really bored with it, although I don’t bother playing the Hitler game anymore (where you go to a random page and try to get to Hitler within 5 clicks)

Horatio Cornblower

“One of the teenagers is about to be called on…”

Premier League substitution announcement or Matt Gaetz speed-dating list? You make the call!!

Cecil Rhodes

“Teenagers?? Everybody knows that children make the best soldiers!”

-Joseph Kony, Lord’s Resistance Army

Senor Weaselo

Ooh, that’s a solid callback, Governor.

Cecil Rhodes

Greetings, men of justice! I see that the King’s finest are doing the Lord’s work once again. Outstanding leap by our imported Brazilian coffee bean to grab the lead — I haven’t seen an undesirable leap that high since I told my manservant that it would be permissible for him to sleep in the horse stables at night! Onward to glory!

litre_cola

There it is. Little shove in the back there though.

King Hippo

a love tap, much like Ricky Pearsall’s speed holes (Questionable)

King Hippo

yeah right and Taj no doubt are at Mass, and limited in their Wi-Fi access

King Hippo

I do like the Pistoleros’ Afrika kit. Arsenal are back, and Blacker than EVAR!

clint greasewood

I thought it was more Mexico, in fact it more of a Mexico looking kit that anything El Tri has worn in the last 6 years.

King Hippo

Think I read sommet about this being a callback to their historic connection to Gov. Rhodes’ continent, but I’ll be arsed if I can Google it.

litre_cola

As we texted, this is far superior to their abomination last year.

That being said the hot pink Barbie Mighty Whitey kit was fucking class last year.

King Hippo

Sweet backstory to y’all Whites’ hottest supporter, too.

litre_cola

THis ref is handing our yellows like Oprah hands out cars.

King Hippo

Those bees will surely get released soon.

2Pack

Napoli plays here in a bit and she needs help shorting her clothes. Easy choice…

luLwUxU.jpg
litre_cola

Can’t believe Oshimen went to Turkiye

2Pack

I can understand the money, but leaving for that market is odd.

2Pack

Marika had a tissy with him last year.

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/17y1kPJig7/

litre_cola

Prediccion – Spurs 1 Gunners 2

2Pack

You bet it is

FB_IMG_1726394210660.jpg
1 2 3