tWBS Fantasy Football Leagues Update (and Tuesday Open Thread!)

Hello, there.

Can I bother you for a moment of your time?

No? Too damn bad.

I just wanted to take up some of your work day and update everyone on the beautiful disaster that is tWBS Memorial Fantasy Football Leagues. There are two (2) leagues, the elder Freezer Vodka (FVL) League and the upstart Lowratio League (LL).  Top four (4) teams from Lowratio get promoted to Freezer Vodka, and the bottom four (4) from FVL get relegated to LL.

Here are the FVL standings:

At the top of the standings sits Lowratio’s Couch Fetish, Sofa Loren and JD’s Chesterfield Dreams all with perfect 4-0 records.  Wow!

In the Relegation Zone currently: Couch Fuckers FC, Dead Hobos, Unnatural Gas, Big Bag of Suck, and The Schlitzstains with an 0-4 record each.  Ooof.

Here are the LL standings:

Duke’s Chicago Waffles sits majestically atop the rankings as the only 4-0 team in the league.  Dick’s Sweet Candy Asses, War and Peace, Casa do vinho FC and Gumbygirl’s Felonious Monks are close behind at 3-1 and battling for the three remaining coveted promotion spots.

And just look at the basement dwellers here: A&H’s Used Vape Cartridge and the Bearsenschiesse Barons can’t stop tripping on their dicks with cleats on and are winless so far. Can they turn their fortunes around? Will it really matter? Do you like movies about gladiators?

There’s still plenty of fantasy fitbaw to be “played” and who knows when SHAN’KHLOR, BLEERGH, DOINK or Roger Goodell, Galactic Disgrace will place their hand on the scales, tipping fortunes and futures in accordance with the all encompassing narrative!

Until next time!

Editor’s Note: Due to unforseen circumstances, this will serve as tonight’s open thread. Enjoy!