5 October 2024 – a JV NFL Eveninging

Did you enjoy the early happenings?  I sure nuff did.  Or maybe I didn’t.  I am writing this Friday afternoon.

Clemson (-14.5) at Florida State (7:00, ESPN)

This could be interesting, if the Semenholes had a quartered back.  But they don’t even have the well-below-cromulent DJ Ukelele no MOAR.  They’s right fucked.

Tennessee (-13.5) at Arkansas (7:30, ABC)

I don’t exactly smell upset, but this is a tricky matchup.  Pig Sooey will at least make you work for it this year (PHRASING), and the Vols are inconsistent offensively.  So long as they aren’t playing a MAC school.  Or…SIGH…NC State.

Michigan (+1.5) at Washington (7:30, NBC)

One of these weeks, the wheels are gonna fall off of the Michigan jalopy.  Hippo predicts it happens in Seattle, tonight.  Watch and rejoice.

Kansas (+2.5) at Arizona State (8:00, ESPN2)

I am not saying that I highlighted this just FOAR the cheerleaders.  It’s a rare afternoon kickoff in Tempe, the coeds will be scantily clad as well.

Miami-FL (-10) at California (10:30, ESPN)

You know this matchup, and the Golden Shower Bears in general, will only disappoint here.  Which is too bad, because humanity doesn’t need this Hurricanes boomlet.  QB Cam Ward is legit, though.

Guns Up!! (+6.5) at Arizona (11:00, Fox)

Late night with the Fightin’ Blax!  Don’t mind if’n ah do.  This has all the hallmarks of chaotic, late night PAC-tion, just without the conference affiliation.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mzjv6gnoYzY&list=FLSeuEMQg2AgEwplE9IoHJdg&index=27

Lots of upsets today, including a certain Cousinfucker squadron I happen to be a little biased towards.

ballsofsteelandfury

A certain Vice Presidential candidate does not like your video

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ooh, Fox has their jam band music guy working tonight. A little Phish – First Tube just played.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

GOT HEEM!

Brick Meathook
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s really fucking annoying

Last edited 1 month ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Brick Meathook

Welcome to Bladerunner 2024

Unsurprised

I hate those fucking things.

BugEyedBoo

I saw one of those for the first time Wednesday night! I was down on OSU campus with my daughter. “What the hell is that?” Daughter: -rolls eyes-.

ballsofsteelandfury

ASU coeds gonna FUCK tonight!

fleshwound_NPG

gonna be a SLIGHT uptick in OnlyFans content in the coming days

SonOfSpam

Yes, because it’s a night.

But also, GREAT FOOTBALL DAY

Horatio Cornblower

The only person I’ve known with an ASU degree was a smoking hot woman who fucked like a demon.

Big fan of ASU.

Brick Meathook

Downtown Los Angeles, today

https://vimeo.com/1016624587?share=copy

ballsofsteelandfury

I heard the WHAT THE FUCK???

Brick Meathook

They were self-driving advertising boxes wandering around; they had “Venom” written on them, which I think is a movie. I saw about six of them, and I really wanted to run over one of them, just to see what would happen. If I got a ticket I would tell the judge that I didn’t know it was an ad platform, I thought it was a demon’s baby carriage being pushed by a ghost.

WCS

Where’s a Medieval peasant who’s mind to blow when you need a serf??!

ballsofsteelandfury

And now Arkansas beat Tennessee!! WOOOOOO!!

fleshwound_NPG
Redshirt

HAHAHAHAHA

BY TEN!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

MICHIGAN LOST BY TEN!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

ENJOY THE OUTBACK BOWL!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(passes out from lack of oxygen due to laughing)

fleshwound_NPG

greed is trying to outright destroy college football

college football will not be going quietly into that good night

Horatio Cornblower

https://twitter.com/thatlawyerLisa/status/1842434063891927548

Not a big fan of Nike U., but I am willing to recognize greatness when I see it.

blaxabbath

That woman who posted it could be hotter.

So can you have the same video but posted by some cute influencer?

Horatio Cornblower

You have to picture her wearing just the yellow hat.

Brick Meathook

Nobody walks in L.A., but when they do it looks like this:

https://ibb.co/q0yqNN3

Downtown Los Angeles, today

Mr. Ayo

Big Hamburglar fans.

SonOfSpam

Droogs?

yeah right

Getting ready for a bit of the old ultra violence. But first a stop at the Moloko Plus.

SonOfSpam

There aren’t enough milk bars imo

Brick Meathook

L.A. COMIC CON at the Convention Center. The mean streets of DTLA were loaded with pedestrians like this; Raymond Chandler is vomiting in his coffin.

SonOfSpam

What’s funny is when you vomit it sounds like “NOIR”

fleshwound_NPG

three stooges reboot look mid at best

Bogdanski

It’s apparently not available on the Onion site but this is one of my favorite articles from back when they were a paper only in Madison:
https://gist.github.com/gruber/1063574
Fuck Woody Allen’s hot dog hatin ass

Brick Meathook

This was the very first Onion article I ever read and it’s still one of my favorites.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s funny, just two days ago I directed my brother-in-law to the “Lord Rescinds Blessed Status of World’s Meek” article.

Redshirt

I left my TV on the YouTube TV Multiview which was showing four College Football games, and now it is showing MLB Playoffs, 2 College Football games and College Volleyball game on at the same time.

I…I think I just got a sneak preview of Heaven.

yeah right

A quick note to stadium entertainment coordinators everywhere.

Stop turning the stadium lights off!

The fuck is wrong with you!?

That’s when the shankings happen!

Give me that remote you little asshole!

SonOfSpam

Not every game’s a Raiders game.

ballsofsteelandfury

And Minnesota beats USC! What a day!

WCS

What a Rose Bowl! Alright, time to put on the Orange Bowl before New Year’s!

Wait, it’s October?!

Redshirt

You honestly think Minnesota could ever make the Rose Bowl Game? Are you sneaking into Hippo’s Strategic Pill Supply?

WCS

JV SeaTruthers hand the former Lesser JV Harbs’ first “conference” loss since 2021, which is pretty incredible.

herodotus450

*first non-cheating conference loss

WCS

In true law-talkin’ guy SPEEK: those wins have yet to be vacated

Redshirt

If Ohio State isn’t motivated to win this game, they should Death Penalty themselves and shut down the program. If this happened when Woody Hayes was alive, slapping would ensue but this time it would be righteous.

Hell, if someone on Bo Schembecler’s staff tried to pull this shit, he’d probably vacate the wins himself.

WCS

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James Carville has Ben Button syndrome.

How does he look 30 years older than he does currently in a picture taken 30 years ago?!

Last edited 1 month ago by WCS
Bogdanski
herodotus450

Cajun Style

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Intentional walk with two strikes? That’s…a choice.

fleshwound_NPG

out dave roberts-ing dave roberts? that is indeed a choice!

Horatio Cornblower

Yankees win! THHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YANKEES WIN!!!

Col. Duke LaCross

Huge win.

Horatio Cornblower

They stole that one, and I don’t see the Royals taking 3 out of 4 from New York.

Of course, I also didn’t see the Red Sox taking 4 straight from the Yankees in ’04, so perhaps take my baseball wisdom with a grain of salt.

Senor Weaselo

And exhale.

fleshwound_NPG

replay of the freeman stolen base giving us good angles of how shitty of quality mlb uniforms are

those can be made into daisy dukes now

Game Time Decision

MLB got them from either Temu or DH Gate

litre_cola

Let’s not talk crazy, at DHGate those kids work their little hands to the bone. They had better or off to the mines with them.

ballsofsteelandfury

And they’re not see through!

Horatio Cornblower

Royal Retros for my money.

Gotta do something for all those war crimes* Dad committed in Vietnam.

*Drinking all the 33 beer he could get his hands on

rockingdog

OMG OMG!!!!
Bogarts with a double!!!

Tatis and Merrill both score!!!!
5-3 Padres take the lead!!!!

That’s ROCKINGGGG!!!!!

Bogdanski

WOOOOO!

WCS

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My fucking Fox Sports app keeps crashing so I’m watching highlights like some kind of chump.

fleshwound_NPG

what bob costas was talking about a minute ago about interviewing ichiro

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtImIqR5neU

Horatio Cornblower

Bob Costas is just tiresome.

SonOfSpam

Careful, that’s Lowratio’s cousin.

Horatio Cornblower

Lowratio has been vaccinated against pink eye.

ArmedandHammered
rockingdog

Damn
Othani with the 3 run HR to tie it 3-3

That’s not Rocking.

litre_cola

I may cheer for a division rival but I hate the Blue team so fucking much.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Lady G to Vladimir Putin

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I dunno, it’s *kinda* rockin’.

rockingdog
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That bat flip…

Bogdanski

Well if he just hits homer he can’t steal bases. Hopefully that’s the only Shohei doing Shohei stuff

Redshirt

That’s Classical?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Jazz Chisholm is good baseball player, while CHAZ Jism was a problem in Seattle a few years back.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Dark MAGA” more like Dork MAGA amirite?

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fleshwound_NPG

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herodotus450

Team Discovery Channel!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s kind of an insult to Nelson.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, and Martin’s actually smart.

Col. Duke LaCross

He’s basically Ricky from “Better Off Dead.”

Also, we’d all be better off if he were dead.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

If someone could photograph a “soy bomb” t-shirt onto him I would be so happy.

yeah right

First of all, the Padres are going to beat the Dodgers as is the annual fall rite of passage but…

One day Ohtani is going to pitch a critical game in the post season and I would watch the shit out of that.

Over the NFL.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

When I heard there was a documentary involving Will Ferrell and discovering trans identity, I did some acid and was very disappointed I didn’t see a “Janet Reno’s Dance Party” tucking episode

jjfozz

Drinking.’

food is here.

standy by for further instructions

jjfozz

fucking fuck, goof food is winnign vs alcohol, time to step this fucking shit up anothcc

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Oh boy, hide yo’ wives in Dundalk

yeah right

Panic on the streets of Baltimore!

fleshwound_NPG

wasting many millions of dollars, wasting many lives, and a lot of expensive arms turned to scrap

russian military, or los angeles dodgers

fleshwound_NPG

shohei ohtani, the georgy zhukov of baseball

Bogdanski

Rocking dog! Padres are indeed rocking!

rockingdog

YES YES YES!!!!
Machado with the 2 run HomeRUN!!!!

Padres lead 3-0!!!! ⚾️
Gooooo Padres!

That’s ROCKINGGGG!!!!

fleshwound_NPG

lol dodgers already?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mentioned earlier that I thought the Trump/Bidenomics ad was a pretty good one; the Harris/ACA ad I just saw during MI-WA was even better. Grabs your attention with an interesting story *before* you find out what kind of ad it is.

fleshwound_NPG

saw this on the ex-twitter site:

what do you call a college football coach from alabama that takes a ranked football team into vanderbilt and comes away with a loss?

senator.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

For a while I have been saying that you could replace every other Senator with a sack of hammers and Tuberville would still be the dumbest one by a mile.

rockingdog
Horatio Cornblower

Hey, let’s not forget he also lost to UConn.

WCS

https://www.espn.com/video/clip/_/id/41629903

Aww, the Fightin’ Lowratios are cromulent, too!

rockingdog

Found a funny:

Zombie fiction is, at its core, about the fear of seeing your own body age and decay. Ghost stories are about the impossibility of grappling with the past. Vampires are about what if you got so horny you died

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

The Padres-Dodgers game hasn’t started yet, but I already want to unleash BOLTMAN upon the Fox Graphics Team.

fleshwound_NPG

we live in a world where pitt is undefeated and bama is not

WCS

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Gumbygirl

It’s kind of awesome!

SonOfSpam

THIS MICHIGAN WOLVERINES TEAM I CALL THEM A CASTRATI SEX CULT BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE AN ORJI THEY’RE NOT SCORING

WCS

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Mr. Ayo

BOW DOWN!

WCS
rockingdog

I’m nervous about Game 1 of this Padres vs Dodgers series ⚾️

Hopefully Padres are rocking tonight!!!!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I swear every major league relief pitcher has a “uses Sovereign Citizen as a defense in a custody case” beard

Doktor Zymm

Moo Deng means bouncy pork

FB_IMG_1728173815065.jpg
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Best night for the Commodores since they had a gangbang with the Bay City Rollers. 35-40 was the head count not a score.

rockingdog

Yea that was Rocking!
Good job Vandy!!!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Damm usually when you hold a banner headline in degeneracy for this long Justin Bieber has an existential breakdown

yeah right

You east coast folks may enjoy the 9:30 London games but my ass lives on the west coast.

And my team is hosting that cockpocket QB and the Jest tomorrow at 6:30 AM Best Coast time and you NOE I will not miss mandatory Hippo rules viewing.

Forecast: 72 and clear with 100% chance of crunk!

blaxabbath

Don’t forget to have a walk!

yeah right

I did that today. Sunday is a day of rest as our lord and savoir tells us.

herodotus450

Sssshhhhhhhhhh Do you hear it? A thousand voices from the future crying out “But, you just can’t leave out a 1-loss Bama team, there’s 12 whole slots…”

ballsofsteelandfury

They’ll lose again. Count on it

fleshwound_NPG

i now want them to run the table. think about it, a bama national champ run with its only loss to fucking vandy

theyre STILL gonna fire the coach

herodotus450

Only option after that would be to increase it to a 24 team playoff

ballsofsteelandfury

VANDY!!!

WCS

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SonOfSpam

Nice win today for your inbred boys.

SonOfSpam

Best part is, Bama lost to a MIGRANT QUARTERBACK

WCS

PPPAWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLL

Mr. Ayo

Diego Pavia for Heisman!

SonOfSpam

As Bob Dylan said “When you ain’t got nothin, you got nothin to lose” or at least I think that’s what he said, mumbly fuck.