Sexy Friday – 20241018

TGIF! Hope you traded for a new number one receiver this week. And more importantly, that you traded for the right number one receiver.

Survival – Personal Edition

This edition is very dire one. One I doubt any of us will ever encounter in our lives hopefully. HOWEVAH! This edition helps explain how we humans determined the difference between edible mushrooms, deadly mushrooms, poisonous mushrooms, and kick ass mushrooms. And, of course, many other things that we now know can be consumed safely and those things that should never be touched or eaten.

  • Fast for at least eight (8) hours before testing a new food source. Need that stomach and intestines as empty as possible for the worst case scenario.
  • Separate your food source into basic components: seeds, plant, leaves, stems, flowers, buds, and roots.
  • Place the plant part into the crook of your elbow for 15 minutes to test for contact poisoning. If there’s no irritation, you’ve passed step one (1) or your skin is super effective.
  • Now place the plant part on your lips for about 5 minutes. Test for any burning or itching on your lips, and then check your skin coloUr. If white, you may have just exposed yourself to spices for the first time. If darker, you’ll know if it’s causing too much burning.
  • Next, place another plant part on your tongue for 5 minutes. Again, you’re looking for irritation.
  • Time to get serious. Chew a plant part but don’t swallow. After chewing, hold it in your mouth for 15 minutes, then assess any irritation or numbness.
  • If you’ve got this far and have not experienced any irritation, numbness, or burning, you can safely swallow a small portion of the plant.
  • The hard part now, is you have to wait another eight (8) hours before eating anything else, including the well tested plant. Should anything bad start to happen (vomiting or nausea), drink as much water as possible to flush your system. If nothing happens, eat another small portion of the plant and wait an additional eight (8) hours.  If there are again no issues, the plant is safe to eat.

So, yes, intermittent fasting is how our forefathers learned what we can and cannot eat. Best of luck if you actually have to go through this process.

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Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

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Mr. Ayo
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Unsurprised

Fozz’s posting made me just now wonder what my mother would have thought of the last 14 years. But there is a labyrinthine warren down that rabbit hole, so, fuck it, I should have vodka.

yeah right

County Antrim. Giants Causeway. Northern Ireland.

U.K. For reasons I still don’t understand.

Mid September 2024.

The sky cooperated.

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Last edited 2 months ago by yeah right
WCS

Someone, clearly intoxicated, crashed his vehicle which set it alight. When caller happened upon the scene, our friend here was casually peeing next to the burning wreck.
Caller reports our man tried to get back inside a burning vehicle after he finished his business.

At least he wasn’t going anywhere in it?

2Pack

Focused

yeah right

A good piss might put that shit out!

WCS

I really hope it makes the news. This is my personal favorite call of the week thus far. There are many details that aren’t known. Yet.

The other contender for “most confusing/What-the-actual-fuckity-fuck-fuck did I just listen to” has to make the news for me to write about. It’s far from a complete story, so I can’t comment. Yet.

Unsurprised

Dude had places to be.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Exactly, and he didn’t want to be full of piss when he got there.

Game Time Decision

He’s just trying to keep warm

yeah right

Hey Horatio.

Thanks for the book recommendation of “Say Nothing.”

Fucking timely as hell just getting back from Belfast.

I spent like tree bucks to see “I, Dolours” on Amazon and it’s her recorded statement during the Boston College tapes.

She name drops Gerry regarding The Troubles.

Thanks again. Fantastic read.

Last edited 2 months ago by yeah right
Horatio Cornblower

My father and I gave the book to each other for our birthdays, as we have the same one. Good for a laugh, unlike pretty much everything in the book.

There’s another one ‘We Don’t Know Ourselves’ by Fintan O’Toole. Must read about the birth and growing pains of modern Ireland.

yeah right
2Pack

This one gets played for Wifey.
Loud.
Those Italian girls really dig the country vibe.

blaxabbath

Rural American life is much more romantic when you don’t have to live near them.

yeah right

First of all, Hello!

Now you know I love most of you but I’m watching the recording of the NYY vs the Gwar-dians, and it’s a motherfucker of a game.

I have no idea how this is going to end.

I ain’t be scrolling down or nothing.

It just felt right to say hello to you wonderful folks and happy Friday.

Back with more when this thing is over.

WCS
Horatio Cornblower

One of the teams is going to score more runs than the other one. Hijinks ensue.

yeah right

Oh well den. Here we are!

2Pack

Ciao Buddy.

yeah right

Buenoserra. Hope life is treating you well, my friend.

2Pack

Things are good thanks. Hope all is well with you.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m flipping through channels tonight, and while I freely admit that it is preseason, and that I don’t know much about the NBA, is the Lakers losing by 54 points in the 4th quarter good?

yeah right

Yes.

Horatio Cornblower

Picture #2 is bringing back some memories…

of reading stories in the Penthouse Forum that I was told I would not believe were true.

2Pack

Yeah I never thought that would happen to me…

Brick Meathook

“I’m just an average well-hung guy . . .”

2Pack

Hey Ayo, lady number 6 gets my nod this week. And solid advice on wilderness food testing here. Hopefully you’ll have a book along to pass those 24 hour test windows. Or make yourself useful, gather more firewood or build more critter traps.

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jjfozz

the good friends of my parents, the ones who have totally abandoned them? i want to slaughter them with a nail gun

ArmedandHammered

The horror movies I have been watching this week would provide

ArmedandHammered

Ample instruction on the best and worst things to do in certain situations.

jjfozz

Goodbye dad, you were a fucking legend and a man for all ages. My measurement of success will be to measure up to half the person you were.

Bogdanski

That’s a great dad there

Horatio Cornblower

Hey, Deanna Favre says you’re already way more than halfway past some person she knows!

yeah right

Cheers to a good man who raised a fine son.

My best to you and the family.

Game Time Decision

Watching Evil Dead 2
Give me some sugar, baby

ballsofsteelandfury

Bruce Campbell is THE MAN

SonOfSpam

Sorry man, just now saw the Yahtzee invite, maybe in a bit.

ballsofsteelandfury

So, you’re going to laugh. I play by myself all the time. The way I do it is I set up a game with you. Inevitably, you’re not around, so I click “Play anyway” and I do my own game.

Every day, I’m thinking of you and thanking you for not being on the Internet. Ha ha!

SonOfSpam

Hey, super happy to help by not doing anything!

WCS

I play by myself all the time

I mean, that’s sort of our thing ’round here.

Game Time Decision

It’s why we can’t have nice things

WCS

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Sharkbait

Mall ending or GTFO

Horatio Cornblower

“Close the door, were you born in a barn?

What am I talking about, of course you were.”

King Hippo

these are…not sexy JV fixtures so far.

The gals sure do seem nice, tho. Especially #s 3 and 7….

Game Time Decision

Spoiler, they are all AI

King Hippo

speaking of…where the heck are the SEX ROBOTS???

ballsofsteelandfury

Like your WASPy ass would buy one!

Game Time Decision

Do you really want to stick your junk into a machine?
Actually, I don’t want to know, either way

Doktor Zymm

At least they aren’t putting honest prostitutes out of business yet

ballsofsteelandfury

I think I’d fuck a mutant before I fucked a robot…

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A mutant, you say?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

WAIT, NO I MEANT BECAUSE KITTY PRYDE IS ONE OF THE X-MEN, NOT…THE…UM…OTHER THING! I AM NOT SAYING THAT IS A MUTATION.

Horatio Cornblower

DFO regrets to inform you that RTD has been canceled. His membership card has been ground up and fed to a Roomba, which fortunately just happened to wander by when we were canceling him.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The terrifying part is that there’s a roomba trying to get into the room I’m in as we speak.

Doktor Zymm

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ballsofsteelandfury

Picture #2 is chef’s kiss.

Delightful!