Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: The One Where Everyone Else Shot the Lights Out

Except the Canadiens, because fuck ’em. Leprechaun Sox? Shot the lights out. Sharky? Decent, definitely above projected showing as opposed to my team missing the lights out.

Even dice baseball expansion preseason last night! Brooklyn’s lost 3 straight, but this one by the narrow margin of… 23-0. (7 in the 2nd knocked out my starter, then I had the long man take the last 4 innings… which after the first 10 batters or so wasn’t too bad!)

(The first ten batters in the bottom of the 5th reached base on 8 singles, a walk, and a double. 4 innings, 14 runs. And again, shut out. For the second time against that same pitcher.)

(Anyway, we’ll see if I run a Nocturnes Magazine segment. Possibly out of respect for my sanity!)

(That’s a lie, I have no respect for my sanity.)

Moving on with the news!

-Well, the big news is DeAndre Hopkins to the Chiefs for a 5th that can become a 4th, and the Titans take on half the salary. That may be because he is compromised with an MCL injury…

-It’s trade everyone time in Tennessee, including LB Ernest Jones (to Seattle for LB Jerome Baker and a 4th).

-Still no news in the Cooper Kupp sweepstakes.

QB updates!
-Famous Jameis starting, and more notably Ken Dorsey calling plays for #ThePauls.
-Andy Dalton was in a car accident yesterday afternoon. Nothing serious thankfully as he was getting the once-over from the team and no one in the Dalton family in the vehicle needed to be transported by emergency medical personnel.

What’s on tonight?

C-USA’s Wednesday Night Caction!
Not North, East, South, West or even Central vs. Duuuvallll State (Middle Tennessee vs. Jacksonville St., 7:30, ESPN2)

No One Cares About the NBA Until Christmas
Thanasis and Pals vs. FUCK EMBIID (MIL vs. PHI, 7:30, ESPN)
The Three Musketeers in Jurassic Park (CLE vs. TOR, 7:30, Sportsnet)
Fire Indeed Hot vs. Inglewood’s Second or Third Finest (PHX vs. LAC: Opening Night at the House that Ballmer Built! 10:00, ESPN)

JV Lesser Footy (U17 Women’s World Cup… no seriously)
Lioness Devils vs. Awful Coaching’s Bit (England vs. North Korea [DPRK], 7:00, FS2)

Enjoy laughing at my misfortune! And Happy Mole Day for two more minutes DFO time!

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Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m back. The show was at a place called Permanent Records which is a record store/bar. Opening act (Kath Myers) was a pleasant surprise and Mr. Gnome sounded good too, but the venue setup is awful – the stage isn’t elevated; it’s basically just a bar.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Haven’t heard this one in a while.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I hate this song so much but I can’t stop listening to it.

Mr. Ayo

Back when I was young and stupid and wanted to kill myself I loved this song,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOllF3TgAsM

Still alive and still love the song now.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo
Doktor Zymm

It works!

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Bogdanski

That’s new, I always celebrate mole day on June 2nd @ 10:23 am/pm. They just better not mess up my i day. It’s totally not imaginary

yeah right

Oh this day I lapped the sun for the 63rd time.

I’m better educated, better read, better off financially, better off physically, better off mentally.

I’m an official world traveler.

Thank you so much Dok for the inspiration.

I’m in a very good place and feeling fantastic.

The state of Yeah Right is very strong!

On to Toronto!

2Pack

Happy Birthday Buddy, many more.

Mr. Ayo

Happy Birthday Young Man!

Doktor Zymm

Woohoo! We’ll have to meet up on a different continent again some time, maybe Singapore? We can get noodles!

Bogdanski

Happy happy!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What did you end up doing for dinner?

yeah right

It involved alcohol.

DJ TAJ

Braggart!
Mom always did like you best.

Happy birthday my beloved bro.
Thanks for talking me into “seeing” the world.

WCS

Congrats on your latest lap.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hey, happy birthday!

2Pack

I have never struggled with this. Ladies… feel free to express yourself.

Doktor Zymm

The best part about Trump’s comments about wishing he had Hitler’s generals is that Hitler’s generals tried to assassinate him multiple times

SonOfSpam

It’s almost like he’s a stupid stupid man with no grasp of history or anything else besides an underage girl.

2Pack

Ciao tutti.

SonOfSpam

Don’t forget to greet Mrs Garrett too.

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2Pack

Ciao Mrs Garrett salute!

Don T

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Unsurprised

Oh, gee. If I knew Kamala was going to half-ass a lamer, less racist pandering to Latinos like she did to black men, I’d still have voted for Cornel West.

ballsofsteelandfury
Unsurprised

“Jason Pierre-Paul has better hands.”

I did a genuine spit-take.

ballsofsteelandfury

That was REALLY good!

Unsurprised

“as someone from pittsburgh and a die hard steelers fan. it makes me so mad when these players say all they care about is winning and then sign to the raiders or jets.”

Good comment.

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, turns out “I can change them” doesn’t work for football teams either

2Pack

If we could only get all of our news from such a fine source.

ballsofsteelandfury

She’s also a great person. Her brother has cerebral palsy and she does a ton of stuff to support him.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Having CP has to be particularly tough because people probably assume you are nowhere near as intelligent as you actually are.

DJ TAJ

She has a future

Redshirt
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Come on, if Bryce Young tried to cut Dalton’s brakes, he would have overshot and set the whole thing on fire.

WCS

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Redshirt

Nicely done.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I really thought it was Mole Day as in the kind you eat…

scotchnaut

“You and me, brother. The ones on upper chest? [chef’s kiss]

J. Dahmer

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You said the same thing about the ill-fated attempt to create a National Day to Quit Smoking they referred to as “Butt Day”.

ballsofsteelandfury

Also the kind you eat!

litre_cola

I totally did too. You have changed me Ballsy!

Mr. Ayo

Gross

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Redshirt
Doktor Zymm

On a lighter note, I was discussing earlier today if there could ever be a father and son duo active in the NFL. We figured it would probably have to be a kickers, as only QBs and kickers play to an age where it’s feasible for them to have a kid as a rookie. And probably less likely to be a QB since it’s only a few that have long careers.

It’s also probably even less likely nowadays because a lot of kids will probably be staying in college a bit longer if they’re making good NIL money.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You woulda thunk Cromartie was most likely…

Gatoraids

and having that child support would keep him in the league long as possible, but guess having that many kids is a high impact activity.

Think recent closest was Gore Sr and Jr

SonOfSpam

Glad it wasn’t Brady and his kid. Hard to make out through a facemask.

Horatio Cornblower

Tyreek Hill’s kid just praying for a chance to lay his old man out on an over the middle route.

scotchnaut

So you’re saying he’s running up that Hill after making a deal with god?

scotchnaut

First guy that came to mind was Clay Matthews who played for 19 years and had a kid that played but I can’t remember his name.*

*hehe

yeah right

Gotta do better than the Reid family for sure.

Unsurprised

/DUNGY FAMILY CRYPT DOOR FLIES OPEN

Doktor Zymm

Just read about what exactly a dislocated ankle is, as I was a bit unclear on how exactly that would work what with there being so many bones and ligaments coming together in the ankle. Turns out it’s even worse than I thought. My sympathies to Godwin, he’s super unlucky as it’s a pretty rare injury and amongst the most painful.

Horatio Cornblower

I see a lot of those in motorcycle accidents and they are not good. At all. AT. ALL.

(A lot is like 2 or 3 in 30 years of doing these. One was really enough)

Last edited 28 days ago by Horatio Cornblower
yeah right

I rode for about 6 years and first rule of bike club is Never Put the Bike Down.

Second rule and more to the point is NEVER put your foot down until full fucking stop!

Unsurprised

45 minute commute. YY!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

@Horatio please don’t tell Lowratio that I’m off to see one of his rivals perform tonight.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwdLSI9hfc0

LemonJello

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