THREE SHORT DAYS before the possible self-implosion of American society as we know/love/tolerate it. And we can’t even get a full, distracting slate of fixtures.
OK, Barcodes and Gooners to start (8:30, USA) ain’t too bad. But then USA shows…Sham Town and Everton?? (11:00). Even HIPPO won’t enjoy watching that car crash. I guess stream City of Men’s invasion of the South Coast (Peacock) instead? 1:30’s Spotlight Dance? PURE DRECK (Wolves/Palace).
Sunday does provide some respite, with a tasty double dip. Spurs host Villa early (9:00, USA), with stupid Daylight Savings time(s) at least aligned. That means you can also catch most of post-Ten Hag Men Untied, as they host shit-hot Chelski (11:30, USA). But that’s Sunday. Saturday is just FOAR pain and foreboding.
tOhio State (-3) at Paedo State (Noon, Fox)
Game of the Day? Sure. But man. When the BEST action requires the non-affiliated to support the goddamned Tree Nutz? Shit is fucked, man. Do the world a solid, Coach Samsquanch.
Ole Miss (-7.5) at Arkansas (Noon, ESPN)
Very intrigued by this. Johnny Reb can’t afford a third loss, and still hope to make the playoffs (where they’d be dangerous as fuck). But Pig Sooey LOVES to play the spoiler, and they’ve been reasonably good so far. They are thinking of 9 wins, and this would make a fine scalp. Expect a barnburner here.
Oregon (-14.5) at Michigan (3:30, CBS)
Four in the nap-zone is not (at least this week) a sign of depth. Each fixture is mediocre, you just need ample flipping options. For the GAMBLOR HAILors out there, I think it’s almost certain the Wolverines cover. They’ll drag Quack Attack down in the muck, especially if they aren’t at peak levels (and they won’t be, hard not to take 2024 UM lightly).
Florida (+14.5) v. Georgia @ DUUUVAL Drunken Orgy Campsite (3:30, ABC)
Fuck me, I love a drunken Southern tradition. So long as not too much livestock gets buggered. Game will be a bit shit, though. Florida Men ain’t got the horses.
Texas Tech (+13.5) at Cornpone State (3:30, ESPN)
Speaking of “banana skin” fixtures – this is deffo one. Guns Up!! are never an easy out (ok, rarely), and Cornpone State is almost exclusively defense-based. But I don’t think Texas Tech is going to be held under 20, and that will put pressure on the home side.
Shockingly Relevant Indiana (-8) at Michigan State (3:30, Peacock)
You want to bet a moneyline this week? It’s Sparty. I don’t think this is a true 50/50, but it’s damned close. Jonathan Smith will mud things up, and harass the fuck out of the Hoosiers’ backup QB (who I assume is still at the wheel). IIRC, this is the first IU road matchup against a decent opponent. They pass this test, and yeah…put ’em in the playoff bracket.
man alive, Carson Beck was once the presumed #1 overall pick in next year’s draft.
So Sanders and Hunter are the top prospects? Bad year to tank.
unless y’all be tankin’ FOAR an edge rusher!
Cleared the upgrade list with 45 minutes before boarding so as always, Dok was right.
Holee shit, I have the banner!
That’s because you’re our favorite (the others know)
Thanks! Have a safe trip
YOU’RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR
Ok, have an unsafe trip?
You’re not going to like him when he gets angry.
Diego Pavia to the CFB HOF stat! And give him a Heisman to boot.
Imagine thinking it’s a good idea to tell Jason Kelce his brother’s a f_g.
Hurry up, meteor.
Michigan has a QB named Orji, and it’s pronounced ‘Orgy’ and I love that the announcers keep having to talk about orgy in the backfield.
Orji getting a little out of control, so slippery back there
“Go on…” -B. Ofsteelandfury
We go from the Clubhouse all being Redshirt to the Clubhouse being all Brocky. Enjoy your JV voyeurism!
what about the gutty little bruins
ok, ok, I’ll show myself out
GOOD NEWS – lots of Dan Osborn commercials (the Dem candidate for Neb senate, doing shockingly well, actual possibility)
ah, true. Would be funnier if the Cornfuckers lost to y’all AT HOME, even
Entirely possible! Bruins figured out some offensive stuff against Rutgers, and Nebraska is more name than game (still).
This tOSU defensing unit, I call it Epstein Island, because its letting the Paedos run all over it.
Not shocking the Paedos couldn’t get up for Tree Nuts when they were hoping for Three Year Old Nuts.
in-com-PLETE
srsly, how did that JV VAR take longer than 5 seconds?
My modest arsenal:
https://ibb.co/hf7DPPr
The guy next to me:
https://ibb.co/tqYNVmF
Brick Stands His Ground!
Hell yeah!
https://ibb.co/wgJt0NH
This bad guy was guilty of wearing a hoodie while having a beard:
https://ibb.co/V2JT6yj
And yellow. – Juror Bill P.
The only thing that matters is who shoots first and who has better aim.
well, if the courts get involved…who is BLACK matters
“Y’all a bunch of pussies, shooting level. Take the high ground and do some serious damage.”
-Charles Whitman, shooting instructor
I need to find a place around here to go skeet shooting
There’s Trap (the targets fly away from you) of which there is Continental Trap and International Trap. Then there’s Skeet (the targets cross over in front of you) of which there is American Skeet and International Skeet. Then there’s Sporting Clays where the targets come out of everywhere in all sorts of directions (sometimes called “golf with shotguns”).
Here’s are the Trap Fields at Oak Tree, where all the above variations are held. All those bright green dots are clays (or pieces of clays).
https://ibb.co/7tVK1mH
Sportscaster: “Duke is leading Miami 28-17. A decent lead, but that’s to be expected in the first half of this NCAA Tournament game.” (listens off camera) “Football? In Miami? You’re shitting me!”
Much like anything Donald Trump related before the early dementia kicked in around 2014, this didn’t age at all.
We would have also accepted Jerry Sandusky’s sexual fantasies
All timer of a jinx. Great job!
Me: Let’s go over to the Dragon Age: The Veilguard Steam forums to see how calmly people are reacting to the game.
*spends 5 mins*
Welp
was there a GIRL in it or sommet??
Worse
/looks around for “those” people
There are [whispers] pronouns
I CALL SYRACUSE’S RECORD A VISION IN THE DESERT BECAUSE THAT 5-2 WON/LOSS NUMBER IS A MIRAGE.
Me: [dry brining a turkey]
Wifey: “Are you going to cook it today?”
Me: “I can let it go for as long as 72 hours.”
Wifey: “But I’m kinda feeling like turkey.”
Me: “You hate turkey. What are you talking about?”
Her: “Sometimes I feel like turkey, other times it makes me want to throw up. BTW, we don’t have any potatoes or stuffing.”
Me: “YOU HATE STUFFING!”
Her: “There was that one time you made it and it was ok.”
Me: “When was that?”
Her: “I don’t remember.”
Me: [walks to bathroom, takes inventory of razors there]
This is why women live longer
The perfect meteor game. Not only should Rapey Valley be annihilated, but the smaller chunks of the meteor should break off and destroy every Fox office, antenna, dish, and satellite in the process.
think that game calls for a comet
Merciful smiting from a just god
Been thinking ill have to upgrade it to – Nibiru, if experiencing symptoms of OhioState/PedState please call your doctor to ask about if Nibiru is right for you.
eZx7Ok.gif (480×270)
I wish I could find a place that did a good breakfast burrito without potatoes in it. Potatoes have their place, and in my opinion that place is NOT in a burrito
Enterprising brunch places everywhere:
You got it! Potatoes are now a $3.50 option in our breakfast burritos! Did we lower the price with this change? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Gueros are out of control
This is the correct taek.
A real Mexican restaurant would just not add them if you ask.
There was a stand across the street from my middle school that had all the combinations on the menu. Eggs. Beans. Potato. Meats. Cheese. There are lots of foods and cuisine in general where options shouldn’t be allowed. The vast majority, in fact. But Taco Bell ironically proved that you can customize the fuck out of Mexican food using only five ingredients.
But be me in the Pacific Northwest wishing there was a chicharrone burrito (breakfast or not) within 1,500 miles
But I’d settle for a smothered breakfast burrito with everything but raw onions 🤮 and chorizo.
We have a place here that makes the best breakfast burrito anywhere. With our without potatoes.
Here being Pasadena, CA….
I know a couple but they’re in El Paso.
Wee man was selected to walk out with the team in the Canadian Premier league final here in Cavalry country next Saturday. Much excite.
That’s so cool! I’m guessing the selection criteria involved being able to duplicate the number of swears heard from the old man in a 30 second period?
His club got selected and looked for 22 volunteers between 6 and 8 yrs old. What did help us that we are good friends with the starting rb Fraser Aird who is a drinking buddy of mine.
Random: I could potentially have my other season tickets seats open for the Rams/Seahawks game tomorrow. My season ticket buddy had to back out yesterday and might have sold his two seats online – I’m checking in with him – but any PNW Seahawks fans on here who’d maybe like to go to the game if his two seats are not sold yet?
To sweeten the deal: not only do you get to drink and attend a Seahawks game with ThePirateSloth, but you also get to spend the day drinking with Mr. Ayo as well!
CAN’T WAIT!
I’m practicing today to make sure I’m in game shape tomorrow.
Update: the 2 seats have not sold and are available.
How much?
He’s got them listed at $154 each. My seats are in the south end zone, about 25-30 rows up from the field, lined up with the left upright.
Great seats!
He will go as low as $135 each.
Folks, you’re losing money by not jumping on this.
I’d love to but…
/waves vaguely at map of US with red line labeled ‘TOO FAR’ running between CT and WA
1) I don’t like leaving the house.
2) Miss quality time with the Greatest Living American?
3) Oh yeah, that 2,000+ mile thing you mentioned.
Lazy cowards
Very tempting, might have to look if there’s any last minute flights that aren’t too awful
Do it!
Also, the pre-game bar has a breakfast burrito with red potatoes!
There are still seats on the train to Seattle this evening! Come on Unsurprised, you know you wanna go!
Killing zombies on the LAPD range:
https://ibb.co/54ZJK0p
Is that a road on the right, down range from where the shootin’ takes place?
Debating on if I should cut the grass or just rake the leaves
/not really as I hate raking
Foden had it and blew it. Damn. Great win, Jason.
Thanks.
In the last 3 matches Bournemouth beat Arsenal, tied Villa then beat Man City.
What world am I living in, man!
Once the VAR analysis starts looking like the zapruder film, you need to let the original call stand.
What the fuck just happened in Southhampton?
According to VAR, nothing.
From DOINK to DOH!
The #DoucheStrong special!
Fucking hell, Everton.
NOT SO FAST!
VAR pending of course.
Everton, that
There’s the Liverpool we all know and dislike
you misspelled despise with a white-hot fervor that would make Uncle Joe Stalin all jelly
/right on cue, Everton hit the bar and immediately concede on the counter
I am now finally ready to flop my azz down and do nothing else this evening but watch JV football. And probably a titty flick later.
All day outside on a wonderful fall day. Pulled up the last of the peppers and eggplant, this years veggies in the books in friggin November. Quite a year. Still have beets and herbs in, but my work is done here.
Sup people?
Ok, ok-there’s one.
UP THE FUCKING CHERRIES!!!
Dress Rehearsal for Worst Case Scenario Tuesday?
I had that Dark Thought when the Bonesaws went up this morning (almost as soon as I turned TV on)
I’m telling myself that the Yankees flame-out in the WS is the necessary sacrifice for what needs to happen Tuesday.
It helps with the pain.
Nice way of thinking. The 2024 Bengals must die for Democracy can live.
See? This guy gets it.
I told the ether I’d make that trade. YOU BETTER HOLD UP YOUR END, WORLD.
Magical Pony, is the general consensus that
ifwhen Samsquanch loses today, he’ll get the sack?Nah. They’ll pull an Earle Bruce and announce during Michigan Week that he’s not returning next year.
Also. CHRIST do I want some prime rib, or any good beef fat now. THANKS,
OBAMAGATORAIDS!!!1111yeah waiting for the one time lately Publix doesnt try to rip us off when they do their Christmas 6-7 dollar a pound prime rib special, its tough
Make it yourself!
https://doorfliesopen.com/2024/03/10/sunday-gravy-with-yeah-right-we-get-to-the-good-stuff-perfect-prime-rib/
I am a very lazy mammal without the ability to delay gratification
Same. I just wanted to drool over those photos again.
that really is perfectly done, a true work of art
Only Ohio State can be losing an ass kicking contest to a one-legged man.
State of Ohio letting me down, like November 2004 all over again
State of Ohio not even close enough to pay no attention to, like November…3 days from now.
Is the Broom in game shape? (I’ve got it on mute) The camera keeps wandering over there.
Doing a day long Portland bar hop before some hot ECHL hockey tonight. Up the Albion
“If you hop on one foot through the doorway, you’re not actually “in”.
-The NFL
also, teh drip is in teh details whatever the fuck that means
If it was Portland, CT I’d join you, but my God would bar-hopping through Portland, CT be a cry for help.
Oregon? And we weren’t invited?
Aaaaand that concludes the competitive portion of the West Ham United action in this morning’s proceedings.
I will have a rage free Saturday! Monday however look out.
Watching this Everton match is totes making me lose* the will to live.
*j/k, I lost that a looooonnnngggg-assed time ago
Arsenal loses, Liverpool losing, Citeh losing. Interesting times.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/new-prime-number-41-million-digits-long-breaks-math-records/
They found a new prime number that is 41 million digits long. The guy who found it won $3,000 and estimated it cost him $2,000,000 over several years. They asked another person who does this sort of thing why he and his ilk devote that kind of time and money to what seems a pretty useless endeavor and he said “it’s fun” and I do not have a good argument against that.
Go get ’em, king.
The Andy Reid Institute has spent over 3 billion discovering its 42 millionth prime rib recipe.
I bet you they’ll find another one at some point.
Instead of wasting years of my life and millions of dollars I would simply check between the couch cushions.
First making sure JD Vance had never been near that particular couch.
Me finding the latest Sirius update replaced one of my channels with not just a Holiday Music channel but a Jimmy Fallon Holiday Music channel (Artistic Interpretation)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6gdCbiqIc0&pp=ygUkc3Rld2llIHlvdSBjYW4ndCBodXJ0IGFueW9uZSBhbnltb3Jl
the law to one click cancel didnt come soon enough
Man City sure does love digging themselves out of a hole.
As much as Buddy loves digging himself into one!
They could just use the one Arsenal has dug for themselves; it’s surely big enough for two by now.
Arsenal could use a trip to West Ham.
Today is A.L. Range Day! Oak Tree Club, Newhall CA
I gots me 100x115gr-9mm and 140x.130gr-270WCF
I’ll take photos of the arsenals.
Smart.
Make sure we’ve got current intel on the enemies within.
Welcome to
the ShitshowBuckeye Nation, Clubhouse! Enjoy your Yearly Sojourn to the Ohio Bandwagon!I feel like I should be eating Crisco straight from the vat!
(Emperor voice)
Good. Gooood! Embrace the apathy. Embrace your destiny.
Short of when “College Gameday” came to Harrisonburg last year to join JMU’s 11-0 gripe-fest & they subsequently shit the bed vs App. State, Cignetti did a fantastic job here. The remnants of his recruits that didn’t run headlong through the transfer portal when he left are still doing well this season, too. Good to see his Indiana team turning heads so soon. I didn’t think that program would ever recover from overlooking this guy in the late 70s.
Say you’re flying out of Durham, NC. Are you like, why would I ever fly to Vancouver when I can go to Europe pretty easy? Similarly, is the idea of visiting Japan just like a super-world away because you’ve got to clear north america first versus, again, Europe just across the Atlantic?
I looked up cornpone. It’s awesome that they cook it in bacon grease.
Wish I could sleep. Stupid brain won’t turn off.
Too bad you aren’t up looking over renderings of the new local girls pro soccer team stadium…
I woke up at 4:45a!!
Same. Had a fitful nap from 2:30 till pee time at 5:45. Other than that, fucking movie theater up there. Someone’s gonna come up with a home electroshock therapy kit soon.
Could you imagine how fucking awesome it must feel, to truly not give a shit – or BETTER, just be totally ignorant of how fucked human society is and will remain?
Holy shit I couldn’t imagine just being oblivious and L-I-V-I-N.
No. Did an exit poll of my 12th grade civics kids yesterday. Trump landslide. It’s the morons walking around thinking the election could possibly end in a Harris victory I want to put through a wall most. I just want to shake every American that somehow doesn’t get it yet. Either HE wins on election night, or he doesn’t and to the fucking courts they go again. Except this time the Johnson House and Thomas/Alito SC are going to give it to him. Why not? THEY HAVE STOLEN PRESIDENTIAL ELECTIONS BEFORE and nothing happened. Nothing consequential will EVER happen to a Republican. Scalia used the voter fraud horseshit in Bush v Gore. They will use it again and it will work.
Yes, it is pretty awesome
Today is Free Donut Day at participating Vons grocery stores!
Get your free donut today!
It’s like the old jingle:
🎶 Our name is Vons
It’s what we do
Get your free donut today
Piddle-Pi-Ooble-Dee-Doo! 🎶
sweet, I just need to cross three time zones and FREE FAT GUY STUFF!!!
I want to know which Vons opt out of participation. Their manager is like, “fuck that corporate bullshit. I got donut sales quotas; not donut giveaway quotas. Besides, the only people who take advantage of these things are a bunch of sugar-obsessed pillbots who don’t buy lotion and pool toys and a gas barbeque grill while they’re snagging their third free long john of the day anyway. Fuck that — my store is participating in Keep the Glass in the Bakery Clean Day.”
G’mornin’
/steps around various debris from Halloweenie Clubhouse shenanigans