Your Sunday Night Football Open Thread

Oh, Hai!

Yep we have substitute teachers all over this Sunday! They selected the two futbol freaks who also have mental problems when it comes to their respective NFL teams. I believe Rev was laughing at me pacing like a lunatic last year in Vegas during an Eagles game.

During this visit I became friends with Sir Spam, but tonight? Friends Off. There will be no RAMMIT.

I’ll speak to my many earlier statements about Nick Sirianni and Jalen Hurts. Did I think Nick should have been fired at the end of last year, and during this season? Absolutely I fucking did. He’s a cheerleader who makes dumb fuck decisions. Can it work? I do believe that it can. It seems the defense has come together. They are executing Vic Fangio’s defense and they have been surprisingly good moving forward. I was pleased when Kellen Moore came over from JerryWorld and it seems that he has figured out that the offensive line is great and Saquon should be the focal point of the offense.

Now, Jalen. I am still not sold, he seems to gap out at important times during the game. That being said, he has come on lately and is better than whatever the fuck is out there. It hurts that AJ, Devonta, and Goedert have all been injured at various times this season. This would totally have forced Moore to concentrate more on Barkley which is why the results have been so successful of late.

Lastly, the defensive backs the Eagles have drafted have been fucking unreal. I have bitched for the 9 years that we have been here, and even at KSK, that usually the Iggles defensive backfield is usually one all pro and 3 guys from the Home Depot parking lot.  DeJean and Toledo boy have been lock down corners and having Slay on the other side has been glorioUs. Shall we look at Quinyon Mitchell’s year? We shall.

Jesus Christ on a Motorbike that’s good. Dude should get Defensive Rookie of the Year.

Which leads me to RAMMIT.

“Fuck dem picks” is still so solid and I believe that this is the point where we see them go after the Quards or get stuck in the mire. Timothy McVeigh is a hell of a cooch.

Matty Stafford can still throw the ball on a dime. Nacua has that Poly-indestructible vibe, Kupp is a PNW lad, solid.

RAMMIT has been injured all season but looking at the injury report I recognize absolutely no one on that list.

I worry about this game as it is a must win. Iggles have Ravens and Yinzers next so Birds must win this one if they have any chance of keeping up with the Lions.

Should we do wine time? Why not, it’s been a while.

I petitioned for questions on last nights thread and stated that if I didn’t get any I would make them up;

A very good friend of mine (Irish) yesterday in a group chat asked this question.

“Is there anything against putting wine in the microwave? I know I will get slapped for this.”  

Fuck this shit. Do not radioactive your wine. Do you know what warms wine? Hands. Warm the fcking glass of wine up with your hands.

I was once at Lollapalooza in Chicago and a buddy of mine bought a bottle of wine in some plastic bottle. I asked him “Is it any good?” His response was perfect. “Do you like hot wine?” It was 35 C so his answer made sense.

Wine lists are made to confuse you. Never buy the cheapest wine. The markup on that shit is astronomical. After that one you will see the more inexpensive wines have a markup of 300% theen as they get more expensive that margin will drop. So your key is to know what you like and how light/heavy you want it. Years ago I put a chart down for the degrees wine, here’s another one courtesy of Wine Folly.

.

Now when describing sweet or dry they are not describing the substance as wine is a liquid and wet. Dry would be the sugar content in that there is not a lot and you will feel the dryness on your teeth if there are a lot of tannins within the wine. In general the darker the wine the more tannins and less fruity sugars will it have. When eating a steak you would want a heavier, bigger wine as the fat from the steak will coat your tongue and mute the boldness. If you had a light Pinot Noir with a steak you wouldn’t be able to taste any of the nuances of the wine as the fat would completely mute it.

BFC has brought to my attention that the official wine of the NFL is fucking barefoot. Without question the worst mass produced shite available on the market right now. You can bring me all of the shit wines from your neck of the woods but Barefoot is 6 dollars here in Canadia where booze is super expensive. In the US there are sooo many options to get drunk for free and good cheap wine. Barefoot is for lazy people who like flavoUrless wine and do not want to learn about anything. Embarrassing. Am I a wine snob? No, I am educated and know what I like. Do I think box wines are getting better and better? Yes. Wine snobs do not drink box wine or wines in a can, I will try everything once except square dancing.

Hope this helps, and if anyone has questions I will be rage watching the game tonight and am always more than happy to help.

Spam? Get RAMMED by a tush push.

Go Birds.

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litre_cola
- A pugs best friend. - Wine drinker. - Loves to use the letter U behind O. - Iggles fan, Fulham FC (Mighty Whitey) supporter, Cavalry FC Ultra. - One of the resident futbol freaks at the clubhouse.
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fleshwound_NPG

fuckin hell

Beerguyrob

Skinny Stafford is not holding that ice cream cone like Fatt Stafford would.

Gatoraids

Fatthew with hands like butter… or at least a coat of it

Beerguyrob

His wife is so going to get the caterers fired.

Doktor Zymm

*deported

WCS

Also, belated exultations to goddess of the shank, mighty SHANKLOR

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hu3Utk4ndo

Last edited 1 month ago by WCS
Redshirt
Horatio Cornblower

They’re certainly not an asset.

Doktor Zymm

Shaaaan’khlor on the waaaaaaater

WCS
Last edited 1 month ago by WCS
Horatio Cornblower

I love the way he turns the crowd in his favoUr by just shitting all over them.

“Give us hell, Quimby!”

Last edited 1 month ago by Horatio Cornblower
LemonJello

Oh, Fatthew (again).

LemonJello

ALL HAIL SHANK’HLOR FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW

Beerguyrob

Hallowed be thy name!

Horatio Cornblower

Cue ‘All In The Family’ theme: Those were the daaaaaaayyyyyyyyysssss!

https://twitter.com/BackAftaThis/status/1860886380039033154

LemonJello

This Barkley guy seems pretty good. Do we know if he was drafted by the Eagles, how did any other team miss out on this talent?

fleshwound_NPG

turns out he was drafted by a team from the nfc east! wonder if there are other nfc east teams that cheaped out on running backs in free agency recently

Gatoraids

think they found him on their scout team

Horatio Cornblower

All this talk of wine reminds me that last night I went to dinner with Mrs. Horatio to a restaurant that has two stars from The NY Times, (Stone Row, in Willimantic), and I shit you not is right next door, (but in a different building separated by an alley, which is why Mrs. Horatio will eat there), the bed-bug-ridden dive bar I mentioned earlier.

I had wolffish for the first time, which I first learned is delicious, I mean fucking delicious, and then learned if overfished and I probably shouldn’t eat it, but at that point it was too late and anyway that one was already dead.

I digress.

The point is that we ate at the bar in the back, which is a tiny place, with a hammered copper bar top, where the woman behind the bar will happily talk to you about all the drinks she comes up with, how she does it, and that she’ll take literally months to fuck around with an idea until she gets it right.

If any of you ever get lost between Boston and New York and I have to come get you I will bring you there.

But no wolffish.

Mr. Ayo

So apizza instead?

Horatio Cornblower

Trigo Wood-Fired is a hop, skip, and a jump down the road.

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ArmedandHammered

What the fuck is not overfished anymore?

Horatio Cornblower

Maybe some kind of freshwater fish?

Honestly, eating any kind of seafood is probably pushing it to the brink of extinction at this point.

Doktor Zymm

That’s the problem with naming horrible diseases for people. You get some guy who just happens to be named Parkinson being all symbolic when he’s involved in a play involving notable head trauma

blaxabbath

The Rams look like a team one game out of first in the NFC West.

Last edited 1 month ago by blaxabbath
Mr. Ayo

Go Birds

blaxabbath

It’s not the Giants can’t draft good talent. It’s just that they can’t KEEP the talent….

WCS

They don’t keep TALENT.

Exhibit A: Jones, Daniel re: contract extension

2.) Saiquon wrecking shit in Philly

&!~.) Brian Daboll

Doktor Zymm

He says the red area rather than the red zone? Is that like NFL coach hipster or someting?

HAHA YAY SAQUON

Mr. Ayo

Yes. There’s now a high red area, and a low red area. But the red zone is only a subset of the two put together.

LemonJello

Oh, Fatthew.

-end of half

fleshwound_NPG

nick you dumbass

fleshwound_NPG

they didnt even show one single hollywood babe in that celeb montage. fuck off nbc

Beerguyrob

10-1 the cameramen know which porn stars are there.

ballsofsteelandfury

But are they Eagles fans?

Beerguyrob

Kendra Lust is more of a Roger Goodell fan.

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fleshwound_NPG

Lions fan!

kendra-lions1.jpg
Redshirt

How can someone stand to be photographed with that whore! I thought Lust had better taste than that!

Horatio Cornblower

Please, if anyone can fake enjoyment on film she can.

ballsofsteelandfury

It appears she’s a Lions fan, which makes sense considering she’s been taking it up the ass for years.

Horatio Cornblower

I would think that would make her a…Browns fan.

/whips off sunglasses

YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

Was that a challenge or did they automatically review it? Seems like that’s not an automatic review considering they initially ruled incomplete.

Last edited 1 month ago by ballsofsteelandfury
fleshwound_NPG

last 2 min of a half

blaxabbath

Oranges on my tree are just turning orange-colored.

They’re gonna kick ass.

Beerguyrob

The sideline guys are taking some big hits tonight.

blaxabbath

I just said I want to see SOMEONE die on the field…

Redshirt
blaxabbath

No no.

For real.

fleshwound_NPG

a few games ive seen lately have seen tv sound guys and coaches get blowed up. chain gang guy went into the blue tent in vikes/bears

scotchnaut

You’re a union fella. Why aren’t these guys more protected? One of the many failures of Socialism-probably the worst.

Beerguyrob

If they work for NBC they’re covered. If they care independent contractors they’re fucked. Stan Kroenke ain’t paying for an old man’s new hip.

scotchnaut

Ok, they work for NBC. What are they covered in? Jimmy Fallon’s jizz? Is that considered a benefit?

fleshwound_NPG

graham just sacked that cracker

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Doktor Zymm

Eagles somehow assembled a lot of the wasted talent elsewhere in the NFC East over the last few years. Dotson was originally a Snyder and I would hate to know the extent to which that affected his lifetime earnings.

Doktor Zymm

Think he got hit in the nuts, he’ll be okay in a bit with an ice pack

Brick Meathook

“Rub some dirt on it”

Doktor Zymm

Nature’s air conditioning?

fleshwound_NPG

some asshole: football is WOKE

tonight: *white corner slaps the ball away from a white receiver*

fleshwound_NPG

i do not want to hear that word from a racist asshole ever again. you got white boys at DB again. fuck off.

Redshirt

Go home, GAMBLOR. You’re drunk.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Well, it’s in Cincinnati, so that’s not too outrageous.

Mr. Ayo

After losing to the bye? Vegas must really respect the bye.

Doktor Zymm

Just because the bye isn’t eligible for a bowl game doesn’t mean it’s nawt a respectable foe

LemonJello

Bye’s strength of schedule is impressive.

blaxabbath

Lot of “same old Cardinals” talk over in redbird country.

I’m like, “who wants to ballot more public-paid upgrades at the football stadium?!”

Col. Duke LaCross

Other than picking it up and moving it somewhere other than in the middle of nowhere, what would they want to do to it? Seemed perfectly fine to me.

blaxabbath

Upgraded premium suites and the like was the main list before the last SB.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Will Ferrel’s voice and actual Chris Pratt in a Monopoly Go tv ad? Can we bring back Dr. Kevorkian please?

ThurberHerder

Thanks for the wine chart.

If you’re every in Philly make sure to ask everyone “Is barbera the best?”

herodotus450

The punishment for excessive celebration (or did they get rid of that?) should be wearing a guardian cap for the rest of the game

Doktor Zymm

It’s only if they point at things now, but still works

ballsofsteelandfury

High as fuck Dok is going to be hilarious in the next two hours.

Last edited 1 month ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Doktor Zymm

peanut brittle > peanuts

LemonJello

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This hot take isn’t even lukewarm

Doktor Zymm

I made no claims on the thermodynamic properties of my take

yeah right

Four out of five dentists recommend peanut brittle in order to retire early.

Doktor Zymm

I know where all my tendons are

Doktor Zymm

It would be verrah creepy if you didn’t since awareness of your tendons probably applies to most people within a 2 meter radius of your body, and if you were just suddenly missing a tendon and didn’t know why….so many questions

yeah right

Still attached.

Never had much issues with the tendons it’s always the meniscus with me.

Game Time Decision

Can’t be a problem if you don’t have any meniscus left
-GTD still trying to play sportsball

Downfield Matriculator

Based on all the cheeiring for Saquon, I can only assume there is a battery shortage in LA this weekend. Keep your devices plugged in!

ballsofsteelandfury

There is a surprising amount of Philly fans in LA.

ballsofsteelandfury

More than one.

Beerguyrob

Having been to SoFi, it’s equal parts that & there aren’t enough Rams fans.

Gumbygirl

They ran a play! Yes, the refs fucked up, but they didn’t catch the mistake in time.

Doktor Zymm

But it’s the Eagles rather than the Lions so there’s a 85.76% higher chance that they’ll acknowledge and rectify the mistake

Redshirt

“I am proud to award the Lombardi Trophy to the Phila- I’m sorry, I’ve just been informed there was a missed call on the game from the Eagles’ Week 12 game. All results are vacated and we’ll restart the season from the point of the infraction.”

Beerguyrob

“Thanks, Head of Officiating Steve Harvey!”

Doktor Zymm

LAWYERBALL!
Do y’all law talkers like or hate that term?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nick Sirianni, more like Nick Siria-needs to throw that challenge flag better

/shows self out

fleshwound_NPG

BLEERGH already?

Col. Duke LaCross

Slay took a helmet right in the dick.

Redshirt

Is that Unsportsmanlike Conduct or Illegal Contact to the Head?

LemonJello

That’s extra on top of her hourly rate in some places.

Game Time Decision

-R Kraft

fleshwound_NPG

“gotta affect the head.”

-ggggggreg williams

“that is literally my job!”

-nina hartley

Redshirt

Joke from my Dad:

Mike Brown is on his death bed. His friends and family are surrounding him. Mike goes, “I see something. Its not a light; its a movie. There’s a nickel defense. The quarterback takes the ball. Throws it. Touchdown. The Bengals win the Super Bowl!

Wait. There’s a flag on the play.”

Beerguyrob

Pula Nacua looks like if Eddie Van Halen played sports.

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scotchnaut

Jeremy spoke in….. the end zone tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooodddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Hooofhadday hahddadadada hadda yaeaf hoof hoof gonk gabbba gabba. Todayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Doktor Zymm

Does anyone remember what Lebron’s chin looks like?

Doktor Zymm

Stafford is nawt even in my top 100 of grizzled people

LemonJello

His protective layer of fat has metastasized into gristle, does that change your view?

Doktor Zymm

Close, but I was going to say something about turkeys then got distracted by a shiny and started thinking about Dolly Parton. I hope I look as good as her at her age and can afford the surgery to make that possible even if I don’t bother because that seems like a lot of effort.

Gumbygirl

She has amazing skin.

Doktor Zymm

Truth. Between her skin and her figure I suspect she has much healthier habits than most old school country music people

Doktor Zymm

First gummy hitting quicker than expected so had a second gummy. Pretty sure that makes sense

Doktor Zymm

Thinking about…..it’s weird I know….half a third gummy

Doktor Zymm

I just realized why I like bathrobes so much. They’re basically capes with sleeves and pockets, which are the two weaknesses of the cape. The only weakness of the bathrobe is having to cinch it quite firmly to avoid accidental flashing if stepping outside and wearing it as a primary garment

fleshwound_NPG

also the perfect clothing for eating a bucket of greasy kfc

ballsofsteelandfury

Or you could simply not care if people saw the goodies

Doktor Zymm

Probably 70% of people, sure, but gotta watch out for that other 30%

scotchnaut

“30% of people have agendas-that was proved by Michel Foucault at the Battle of the Somme in 1971. Everyone knows that!”

-History teachers next year, Mississippi

Doktor Zymm

MICHEL?? THATS EITHER FRENCH OR TRANS

Horatio Cornblower

There’s a difference!?!?

Game Time Decision

No capes
-Edna K

Senor Weaselo

They’re basically capes with sleeves and pockets, which are the two weaknesses of the cape.”

No bathrobes! -Edna Mode

scotchnaut

As far as Irritating noises are concerned, Tom Brady and Erin Andrews fucking should be the new smoke alarm alert.

ballsofsteelandfury

She’s married to a hockey player last I heard. Did anything change?

scotchnaut

I was riffing on noises that irritate me, marriage status was not a variable.

Doktor Zymm

A sound doesn’t have to exist to be annoying. They’re very Wyoming like that

Gumbygirl

Tonight’s irritating noise is brought to us by Carrie Underwood and Autotune. Nails on a chalkboard!

Doktor Zymm

I got rid of all my redacteds stuff in favor of Team merchendise, but I do kinda wish I had kept my Kerrigan jersey

Doktor Zymm

There are some LEGIT box and can wines. And since they’re way more anaerobic than bottles it travels and keeps better as well. If an archeologist unearths a plastic baggie of box wine in 1000 years I hope it’s drinkable and drunk that night in camp

yeah right

Drop some recommendations.
I’m here to listen.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Bota Box Redvolution made us pretty happy.