Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: “I’m a Professional”

Please note that when those words are uttered it usually means the person who said it had fucked up and made some sort of rookie mistake, and are either A) using that statement as a crutch to be beyond reproach or B) mocking themselves for doing something dumb. Normally it depends on how well you know the person. Most of the time with my friends it’s B. Or with me. Like forgetting to use the school printer to print out music for a party the next day when the contractor (who is also your partner and you can see the stress that’s been on their face and body and everything else for the last two weeks as they’re just barely on the verge of saying “fuck it”) is counting on you.

Which is to say, I’m a professional! And that’s why I’m doing a quick “I guess this is sort of a Senor in the City category” Wumbo post on the bus, between going from my class’s group concert (I am very proud of them) to *checks notes* sing in a choir because my best friend asked me nicely and also she’ll throw a couple bucks my way, plus I’m playing Midnight Mass there.

But hey, I had a great country solo in “Let It Snow,” so it worked out!

(It was not country.)

In non-linked news, condolences on anyone who took the over on David Montgomery’s rushing yards for the year. 775 for a 775.5 O/U heading to this week is great… if not for the MCL tear that claimed his season.

QAaron continues with the hottest takes from 2021 about asking about people’s vax status.

Starting QB changes, as Penix is in for Cousins, and the Famous Jameis era seems to have ended in the Factory. Meanwhile the mayo’s gone bad for Don T’s Tits, as Mason Rudolph is in.

What’s on tonight? Hockey, and the Whatever the Fuck Bowl.

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Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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Brick Meathook

Jeezus I’ve had an adventure tonight.

Somebody say something funny and I’ll tell you about it.

SonOfSpam

What happened when Jesus went to Mount Olive?

Popeye got pissed.

Ok, your turn.

Last edited 3 hours ago by SonOfSpam
blaxabbath

I go to move my wife’s electric heater and it shorts out the room. I’ve got no gfci outlets here and I reset the breaker. No clue what to do now.

I’m really in the dark here.

SonOfSpam

Kerosene up that bitch.

SonOfSpam

(I think that’s a Prodigy song?)

Doktor Zymm

2 margaritas and an order of guac, chips, and salsa for $20.45 plus tip. Beautiful.

2Pack

Quality fun at a low price right there…

Doktor Zymm

While I was driving up here they had a law professor on NPR talking about the whole Tik Tok ban thing. It’s amazing the lengths our government will go to avoid having to pass comprehensive data privacy legislation.

And it won’t even work. Tiktok will have to move to offshore servers and the app and updates will only be available via web, but that’s not all that difficult

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My first world problem is that I played some lousy tennis tonight. We went up 4-1 and then lost the set 7-5 and were down 3-1 in second when my partner got hit in the jewels with a volley (thanks to a meatball I served up) and we had to call it a night.

My shoulder still hurts enough that I have an excuse, but not for long.

Doktor Zymm

Someone may have mentioned it already, but there’s also ‘Stand back, I’m a professional’ for when you’re about to do something mind blowingly stupid

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Gatoraids
Bogdanski

Sledgehammer and Ghostbusters were some very formative shit for me

Doktor Zymm

Long day! I took today off, it was originally the day after launch but launch got pushed to tomorrow so I’ve been checking in on everything for any small changes that need to happen.

Spent a lot of the day driving, although was able to get in an extra horseback lesson between rain storms. Up in Santa Rosa right now, dropped my bag off and am currently having a margarita and guac at my fav shitty mexican chain. Oh did I mention I haven’t eaten all day?

2Pack

You wanna talk about first world problems? A couple weeks ago my fav 20 y/o Ray Bans broke. This after very recently paying 500 bucks for new prescription lenses. So these are the only frames they had for the lenses. At 250. I think they look dorky but I’m gonna wear the hell out of them and make my money work damn it! It’s what we do!

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BugEyedBoo

My wife loved her some fancy sunglasses; could never go wrong by getting her Ray-Bans.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I typically break or lose sunglasses within two weeks of getting them, so a typical pair for me costs $0.00 because they were giving them away at some street fair or something.

blaxabbath

I rip mine off passed out guys on the Strip overpasses too.

WCS

Last week, Lil’ WCS asked where my sunglasses were. Told her they went to the same place all the other half of all her pairs of socks go.

BugEyedBoo

I just go all nerdy and get my prescription glasses with photogray lenses.

Doktor Zymm

I always forget them when I travel so I have like 20 cheap pairs that I picked up around the place

Dunstan

I’m bad with glasses and sunglasses, too, but use prescription ones, so I order cheap ones online.

2Pack

I have lost 2 pair in the Med just dickin around. But that was years ago. This set really hurt, but after 20 years plastic just fails I guess.

Doktor Zymm

Unless you’re looking in a mirror you don’t have to see em, so it’s all good!

2Pack

I will bet I get positive comments on these. It seems the more I just cope with things I’m not crazy about, the more friends validate it, or just love it. Or maybe they are just cheesing up to me.

Doktor Zymm

Seems like a positive outcome either way!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ugh, I didn’t pull the trigger on my liquor store order and now they’re sold out of luxardo cherries when they were a great price.

No, shut up, you have first world problems.

2Pack

Tough break Bro. Can’t even say that adding, “with a cherry on top”… Just tough…

Horatio Cornblower

Pulling a trigger on a liquor store order usually results in at least 30-40 years behind bars.

BugEyedBoo

That looks like a pinky-in-the-air Old World problem.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Xavier, Winchester, and Hendrick are all mortified.

Mr. Ayo

Oh no, disaster!

My sincere condolences, sir.

Horatio Cornblower

I finished watching the Fightin’ Horatios when their Big East opener, (badly, against a very injured Xavier team: ain’t gonna be no 3-peat, folks), and now I have something called ‘The LA Bowl’ on my TV.

Someone get over here and unplug my television

blaxabbath

Man I like didn’t eat enough today then was like, “I need to get my into the gym this afternoon.”

I’m still fucking feeling sick. I don’t even know what would alleviate this sickening feeling.

blaxabbath

^ Master of the Pen, This Asshole

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yes, yes, we’ve all seen r/ButtSharpies

King Hippo

Usually when I feel that way, I just eat until I Carpenter.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Take a three day long dirt nap?

Horatio Cornblower

Food?

blaxabbath

I did some.

blaxabbath

This must be how Kirk Cousins feels on game day, based on his play.

King Hippo

lookit them thar Fightin’ Fronks, standing on their hind legs!!

scotchnaut

Energy Vampire Update:

Over the course of an hour and fifteen minute (should have been 20 minutes tops) meeting at a bank EV says to a complete stranger that is trying to straighten out some paperwork that, “I’m trying to be patient but I want to bite your face off”.

/that is verbatim stuff, guys

Horatio Cornblower

Seems like more of an actual vampire…

Doktor Zymm

Sounds like a great way to get kicked out of a bank.
“yes maam, I was also trying to be patient but now I’m calling security”

ArmedandHammered

No TV tonight, just classic rock and MaryJane (Spidey’s gf or marijuana – either one would be fantastic) to smoke.

ArmedandHammered

The comics one, not the movie ones.

WCS

Are you smoking part of Spiderman’s girlfriend?

Seems like more of a scotchy sort of thing.

blaxabbath

I was really hoping to see Penix in action live.

Instead I saw Cousins being done.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How dare you besmirch the Boca Raton bowl?

blaxabbath

I turned it on. These two teams and the venue obviously suck.

SonOfSpam

He surely wasn’t referring to the ART OF SPORT L.A. BOWL HOSTED BY GRONK.

Played at 6 PM PST at RAMMMMMMIT Field.

Featuring Cal-Berkeley, from the Atlantic Coast Conference.

And UNLV, playing in LA for a bowl game whilst USC plays in Las Vegas.

Everything is stupid!

litre_cola

I bet 20 on the Rebs. It means something to me!

SonOfSpam

Good bet! The Cal QB ain’t playing, and UNLV is good (indoors).

King Hippo

Be proud you a Rebel cause teh SOUTH’s gonna due it agin…

King Hippo

I read it as being sponsoUred by 80s weirdo band Art of Noise