So much going on in sportsball. Uncle Teddy takes a one-Saturday ciggy break, to celebrate ball-gargling, money-laundering, fuckhead fraud Fahrad Moshiri finally OUT of my beloved club. There is no way The Friedkin Group can be any worse, despite being American-led.
FUN FACT! If Dyche gets sacked in the morning agter face planting home to Chelski (Sun 9:00, USA) – then is “sacked in the morning” – it would be the bestest Festivus miracle ever.
(Though really, I don’t care if Dyche finishes the season, so long as he is IMMEDIATELY out after the final game, and has zero input on any January roster churn.)
Last night, we started the Brave New Playoff World (hopefully with Indiana poleaxing ND), and we get a triple-header today. Alongside a quality NFL doubleheader. Busy day, so buckle up. Scotchy will be back mid-late afternoon for the next tranche of blended FITBAW glory.
SMU (+8.5) at Paedo State (Noon, TNT)
Talk about playing with house moneys. Fresh off a disgusting ACC title match loss to Clemson, the post-Condi Committee lets them in anyways, even gifting them the higher seed (11 to Clemson’s 12) and a puncher’s chance to advance. Sure, they’re an underdog. But they’d have no chance in Austin. James Franklin hasn’t won a “big game” seemingly in his entire tenure, and TNT’s first college broadcast in Hippo’s living memory probably qualifies. Anyways, I sure ’nuff am interested.
500s (+3.5) at Chefs (1:00, NBC)
I’m not the least bit sure why Mahomes isn’t taking a rest week here. I get it, Buffalo closes with P*ts/Jest/P*ts redux – but this game is on a short week, with Week 17 (Xmas Day) even shorter. It’s just not a great idea, especially when defensing alone should suffice to handle the 500s in KC. Houston’s offense just can’t get out of first gear, and occasional Beatie Mixon blowup game aside – really hasn’t all season. They also know they are the 4 seed, and extremely unlikely to be anything else. You aren’t going to face a “loaded for bear” opponent – let Dakota Jeebus chucklefuck around for one game.
God bless staggered kickoff times, and for the best NFL game (PIT/BAL) pairing with the worst JV game (TX/CLEM) for ease of viewer choices.
Ok, wrapped all the gifts for my nieces and nephew that I have here, a few things are at or en route to my parents’ house, and then I think I just need to pick up one thing for my sister and I’m all set.
All that’s left is to drink and avoid LDB.
And I guess one more day of work Monday.
Met my college roommate and his family at our local for a boozy lunch. He grabbed the tab, (I grabbed the tablet with the check and then he ripped the tab off the tablet), so after handling tip I had some extra money. I have now done a shot of this.
It’s not great.
Rickey Henderson died? That sucks.
That sucks.
Real shame. One more day and he’d have cured cancer.
We should bust on Mahomes’ personal appearance more. Yeah, he talks like Kermit the Frog, but he also is one UGLY motherfucker.
No wonder he’s like a son to Andy!
Is that Zyndia or whatever her name is from Dune?
This is when I ran full speed through Minneapolis Airport, going from one Delta lounge to the other Delta lounge because they had a Waldorf salad at the other one plus more free booze. I edited out where I knocked out an old lady who got in my way. Too bad for her.
I posted this once before, but the color space was off and it took me a while to solve it. It was a conversion issue from HEVC to H.264 during export to Vimeo presets. Duh.
I better get 20 likes for this or somebody’s gettin’ shot, starting with this puppy.
https://vimeo.com/1041419454
That one one seriously nasty -looking injury.
*was one. All I want for Christmas is an edit function.
Hey, Boo, how’s it hanging? Are you and little Boo doing ok?
Urologist recommended TURP, but due to the IV bag shortage, plus his three weeks off for the birth of his child, it was bumped to late January/early February. A month plus with the catheter. But I was put on a waiting list a’la flying standby, and a slot opened up for next Friday.
JESUS GOD
I need to know whatever Norse god BugEyedBoo pissed off, to make sure I never run afoul of them.
Even the away crowd reacted to that one. Eh.
OH NO Rickey Henderson passed. RIP to one of a kind. One of the best ever, and did he ever know it.
I just saw, he was a legend.
Lord, I’m sorry. I take it back. I love technology!
Predicting Bengals winning the super bowl is a new addition to the new Voight-Kampff test
Huh. TNT. Wasn’t expecting that.
wasnt expecting them to just cast the same thing on all 3 of their channels. Least get the cast of Christmas story covering the game on one of the channels. Damn Bumpus’s Nittany Lions
-Wile E. Coyote, evergreen comment
This is lovely:
https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_fullsize/plain/did:plc:7mwx7hp44gqbjnxsnmwnyknb/bafkreiaujbquq4av2bevnhkjo5dvxjxd67c2bau4rr46sehwxhg72txcvm@jpeg
They spent a lot of money to watch a mediocre team from Texas get their asses whupped. Jerry Jones would like a word.
How many dead hookers stowed somewhere on that bus?
We need to teach these young kids that they can really effect change and make their world a better place, except they’re all going to die in a nuclear war long before they can ever do any of that.
Refs bailing out the Chiefs like they’re on a lifeboat after the Titantic went down
Quick poll:
Hollywood Brown sounds like a..
1, Strip club
2, Strain of heroin
Smack
Like he said
https://youtu.be/2iP6N6GyZqM?si=XxUocVq3eibcbUiO
I’ll take the Hollywood Brown followed by the Golden Shower?
West Coast version of an Alabama Hot Pocket.
(do NOT look that up)
Or 3,
1972 blaxploitation film starting Richard Roundtree and Pam Grier with music by Curtis Mayfield.
WWF Wrestler Vince McMahon booked team up with the Brooklyn Brawler
3, Jennifer Lopez’ #2 this morning?
The love child born 9 months after Downtown Julie’s boyfriend refused to go there . . . or pull out
According to Yahoo, he sounds like the best draft pick I ever made.
Napoli won
More bullshit Chefs luck
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/02wHsy2ZdFk
Would be real fun for the Chiefs to have a alternate uniforms that was vertical stripes or black and white
People coming over for Ravens game: Mrs. Fozz got some hormone implant to “help” with the effects of fucking menopause – yeah, it’s only made it worse. My sons and I have built an authentic WW1 trench in the backyard, and it’s pretty cozy.
So I’ll be drinking all day and eating food. Then probably switching to liquor so things go right the fuck off the rails.
Merry Christmas, you glorious bastards.
Go tell her you have male menopause too, and you worry your needs aren’t being met. Report back to the Clubhouse on her response!
No need. We will hear about it on the news.
I imagine WCS can give us the details even earlier.
The other night, after I had been drinking to recover from a shit day, she told me that if I cut my toenails, we could have sexy time. First, that’s bullshit cause all of the kids were in the house. Second, they’re MY toenails and I need them when I’m scaling palm trees to get coconuts.
When I’m in a bad mood, I’m being childish and “not a good role model.” When she’s in a bad mood: IT’S MY HOOOOORMOOOONES AND YOU AND YOUR SONS HAVE NO RESPECT OR LOVE FOR ME.
As a woman who has been through the pause.. it’s not the same as a ” bad mood.” It’s an irrational, white- hot murderous rage that you have little to no control over. It’s terrifying. If it happened to men, the population of the world would plummet dramatically, but lucky for yinz, women are in far better control of their impulses, even with hormones gone wild. That’s a fact, don’t come at me!
Tl;dr. In other words, Fozz, cut your toenails and shut the fuck up if you want to live!
https://ibb.co/StfwTx8
Said it before, Lecturing Gorilla is always welcome.
Or he can sign them both up for a Boudouir Meathook Photoshoot Experience
Do not poke this bear!
This playoff snub is the worst thing to happen to Alabama since the 1860 Election.
or least the cancellation of HeeHaw
yeah, am switching to the KC/HOU game. SMU QB killed his team
He looks broken. Couple pick 6’s does that.
I can’t tell if Penn State is playing with its food or it’s not capable of defeating SMU without paying off its QB.
Wouldn’t be the 1st time someone from Happy Valley played ass grab with someone smaller and weaker then them.
Maybe SMU should stop with the forward pass plays?
Okay, so I just received an ecard, and I need a ruling.
I clicked on it and it opened in a browser page. It was a little cartoon scene of Bethlehem (with snow, in the Middle East, of course) with little cartoon Mary and Joseph moving towards a manger. There was music playing, but it wasn’t LDB.
However, sitting on steps in the background was a little cartoon drummer boy silently tapping his little cartoon drum.
Does this count?
No
He could have just playing a rimshot.
Agree. You’re safe on this ruling.
If you don’t recognize it, you’re safe.
…and of course I missed three fucking goals.
So the new version of the LDB challenge is Whamaggedon, where you have to avoid hearing Last Christmas. I’m wholeheartedly in favor of this since that damn song gets stuck in my head whenever I hear it
Lost that one about a half-dozen times already, too.
Only twice for LDB, but still two too many.
Oh HELL yeah. The Jimmy Eat World version has already been played 6 times and it still sucks.
That’s actually the original, and I think it’s specifically the Wham! version.
Yes heard it also practically impossible difficulty mode in the UK. I just watched/listened to it deliberately when someone was commenting somewhere how could its video had to be hard to make to only one attractive person in it
One of my protein supplier guys gifted me 10 pounds of kielbasa sausage on Thursday. I’m up to my knees in delicious, garlic-y pressed pork product. Send cheese and crackers, STAT!
Hang on, I’ll be right there and I’ll bring horseradish mustard
Thank God! [sends out an SOS signal to standby emergency sommelier]
G’day, g’day, g’day. Saw the wine bottle signal in the sky.
I’ll take 8.5 of those lbs. off your hands.
I don’t want to seem greedy.
Very thoughtful of him. Kielbasa is some prime hobo bait.
This guy!
“Honey, there’s someone at the door…” – mrs scotchnaut
“Protein supplier guys? Yeah I got a coupla them”
-Lindsey G.
And we’re heading for full plaid banana cakes at The Palace.
Busy day today. Daughter’s birthday up in Worcester, right now off to head off to meet college roommate and his family at our local.
It is indeed going to be a Blood Mary Morning.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nomS6kdI1CI
Greatest band in the world!
Greatest band in world in Ukraine, kept secret, but really reason Russia invade.
/Gets back from dump run, turns on Arsenal game
“Oh, 1-0 on a team we should beat. That’s a good st…And there we are. Those are the Gunners I recognize.”
SMU tries the ole… 3rd and short… run it right up the middle into 10 dudes trick play…
Guess who has two thumbs and is missing the start of the Arsenal game because his mother-in-law has commandeered the TV set so she can do her Silver Sneakers workout?
Strap some ankle weights on her… that will break that dawg from suckin eggs… Your house your rules right?
/ he knows he’s wrong
Rake the leaves – done
Clean the garden of dead plants – done
Wash the bedding – done
Wrap last gifts – pending
Spend quality time with the family – pending can be done while watching Football
Time for some CFB Playoffs
Christ, I have to start Stroud now, methinks. Deck chairs on the Titanic probably, I really have no chance.
Morning Folks
1) Hippo, your kittah (Kruger?) is adorable.
2) Whhhhhhhhelp, it’s that time of year again. Time to curl up around the clubhouse fire (barrel full of flaming plywood and torn up batmobile tires) & listen to this holiday classic:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iq10bz3PxyY
yep, that’s old man Kruger (from like 10 years ago)
I saw him at the bar at a fancy restaurant and was sorely tempted to send over a drink in appreciation for how many times I’ve watched that video and how much it has made me laugh.
“I died for your sins, but those pumps are unforgivable…”
It will all be chalk again today in JV football.
I just love that Cincinnati left the AAC because they were tired of not playing in high bowl games only to have the AAC Champion playing in the first CFB Playoffs and four wins away from the National Championship.
Didn’t UC play in the FBS playoffs a few years ago?
Good heavens, I completely forgot…though based on the game, it was mostly a working bye week.
There’s almost too much on-soccer, new pro football, old pro football, world junior hockey, the Senators, college basketball, fantasy semi-finals, porn…this day has everything!
…
!!!
KUDUS!!!!
Shockingly I have had a great time at my Brother-in-law’s so far, but the one thing that is off-putting is their collection of Holiday hand soaps in their two bathrooms. Everytime I use the can, my hands smell like I just finger-fucked a bad apple cinnamon pie or caramel cobbler.
The Dr. Mrs. added peppermint oil to our cleaning spray, so every time I use it to, say, clean up a bunch of cat vomit, I feel LIKE I’M STANDING ON TOP OF A SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAIN!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HItVDGs49o
It’s just like a freon enema!
Listen, just because Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show invites you to one of his parties doesn’t mean you have to participate in all his parlor games.
oh, HONEY!
“You didn’t come here for the York Peppermint Patty, do you?”
Strong peppermint makes me speed sneeze, I used to chomp Altoids in classes I didn’t like much so I could be disruptive in a seemingly involuntary way
Death Penalty for Morality Reasons.
Strouds for Strategery Reasons.
Paqueta thought he was on his way to Man City a few seasons ago. Then he got all wrapped up in his yellow card scandal. Now no self-respecting team would touch him with a dog turd bag. He knows he’s in east London for the duration, and it’s showing in his play. He just couldn’t give a shit anymore. Boo-hoo. Next time don’t have your idiot friends make your dirty bets from a place literally called Paqueta Island, ya dummy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-NBRiutPXo
This just in… Katy Perry has joined the long list of American celebrities doing TV commercials here in Italy. Dolce Gabana in her case. Clooney and Pitt hock coffee, Rhianna does perfume Julia Robert’s chocolates I think.
Times be hard in tinsel town…
/ meloncholy banjo strumming softly in the background…
It’s not just celebrities; commercials are how the blue-collar regular actor pays their bills, too.
I’ve been away too long I guess.
I think it’s always been like this. Commercials are what have paid the bills for most of what Hollywood does ever since broadcast television became a thing.
In Japan especially. They put in clauses that the ads can’t be shown anywhere but there.
You can see all those ads in the US, too, expect maybe for Pitt. Not sure I’ve seen him in an ad yet.
I guess it’s the norm now. I’m just disappointed that Katy doesn’t show any cleavage. I mean how TF does she intend to sell anything here like that? Even the window shutters commercials here have plunging neckline hotties.
For someone who is as checked out of football as I claim to be, I sure do plan to watch a shit-ton of football today. Three different kinds, no less!
My friend’s theory on why Mahomes is playing that I think may be true: KC wants to be extra sure to win so they can drop the Broncos game and keep Cincy out of the playoffs while keeping the bye
I got engaged 9 years ago today when Mrs. Cola and I went to, the Nutcracker. Coincidence we are going today? 100%
That’s awesome, enjoy
Congratulations on your double engagement?
Citeh’s demise is delicious. Too bad it is Villa with the comeuppance.
I’ve never understood the appeal of The Nutcracker.
Most of my former lady bosses were—I mean, did.
Cascanueces sounds much less menacing.
It’s like nut scratcher…
Wife wants to go. I am going to the pub later so sacrifice my internet friend.
When I was like 8 or something I took ballet lessons and was in a production as one of the sugar plum fairies. I had a kickass teal tutu. I wonder if that’s still in my parent’s basement somewhere?
I played a toy soldier in the Mrs. Flowers’ 2nd grade production of “The Nutcracker” at Clay Elementary School in Arlington VA.
It’s like day three of record high temps here. I’m pushing to change this to a Christmas luau.
It’s – 12c/11F with a windchill of – 22 here. So,trade ya?
Or maybe meet in the middle?
Middle would be about where I am, although it is very cloudy and gloomy with some sprinkles. We’re 12/54 feels like 10/50 going up to 16/61 in the afternoon
It’s sunny here in LA again. Forecast high is 69°. Our next weather report will be in four days.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1P5n8YRY6Kw
Morning. Big day in the Cola household. Swimming lessons, then The Nutcracker, then hosting dinner, then finally the pub.
Nay footed ball for me. Cept this morning.
Plus Marika in the holiday mood for the Napoli match this evening.
So.
Much.
Sports.
Merry Christmas to all!!
Auguri Buon Natale!