Everton are Freeeeeee(dkin)! and Other FITBAW Matters

So much going on in sportsball.  Uncle Teddy takes a one-Saturday ciggy break, to celebrate ball-gargling, money-laundering, fuckhead fraud Fahrad Moshiri finally OUT of my beloved club.  There is no way The Friedkin Group can be any worse, despite being American-led.

FUN FACT!  If Dyche gets sacked in the morning agter face planting home to Chelski (Sun 9:00, USA) – then is “sacked in the morning” – it would be the bestest Festivus miracle ever.

(Though really, I don’t care if Dyche finishes the season, so long as he is IMMEDIATELY out after the final game, and has zero input on any January roster churn.)

Last night, we started the Brave New Playoff World (hopefully with Indiana poleaxing ND), and we get a triple-header today.  Alongside a quality NFL doubleheader.  Busy day, so buckle up.  Scotchy will be back mid-late afternoon for the next tranche of blended FITBAW glory.

SMU (+8.5) at Paedo State (Noon, TNT)

Talk about playing with house moneys.  Fresh off a disgusting ACC title match loss to Clemson, the post-Condi Committee lets them in anyways, even gifting them the higher seed (11 to Clemson’s 12) and a puncher’s chance to advance.  Sure, they’re an underdog.  But they’d have no chance in Austin.  James Franklin hasn’t won a “big game” seemingly in his entire tenure, and TNT’s first college broadcast in Hippo’s living memory probably qualifies.  Anyways, I sure ’nuff am interested.

500s (+3.5) at Chefs (1:00, NBC)

I’m not the least bit sure why Mahomes isn’t taking a rest week here.  I get it, Buffalo closes with P*ts/Jest/P*ts redux – but this game is on a short week, with Week 17 (Xmas Day) even shorter.  It’s just not a great idea, especially when defensing alone should suffice to handle the 500s in KC.  Houston’s offense just can’t get out of first gear, and occasional Beatie Mixon blowup game aside – really hasn’t all season.  They also know they are the 4 seed, and extremely unlikely to be anything else.  You aren’t going to face a “loaded for bear” opponent – let Dakota Jeebus chucklefuck around for one game.

God bless staggered kickoff times, and for the best NFL game (PIT/BAL) pairing with the worst JV game (TX/CLEM) for ease of viewer choices.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Fronkenshteen

KUDUS!!!!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Shockingly I have had a great time at my Brother-in-law’s so far, but the one thing that is off-putting is their collection of Holiday hand soaps in their two bathrooms. Everytime I use the can, my hands smell like I just finger-fucked a bad apple cinnamon pie or caramel cobbler.

Redshirt

Death Penalty for Morality Reasons.

Strouds for Strategery Reasons.

Fronkenshteen

Paqueta thought he was on his way to Man City a few seasons ago. Then he got all wrapped up in his yellow card scandal. Now no self-respecting team would touch him with a dog turd bag. He knows he’s in east London for the duration, and it’s showing in his play. He just couldn’t give a shit anymore. Boo-hoo. Next time don’t have your idiot friends make your dirty bets from a place literally called Paqueta Island, ya dummy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-NBRiutPXo

2Pack

This just in… Katy Perry has joined the long list of American celebrities doing TV commercials here in Italy. Dolce Gabana in her case. Clooney and Pitt hock coffee, Rhianna does perfume Julia Robert’s chocolates I think.
Times be hard in tinsel town…
/ meloncholy banjo strumming softly in the background…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s not just celebrities; commercials are how the blue-collar regular actor pays their bills, too.

2Pack

I’ve been away too long I guess.

Horatio Cornblower

You can see all those ads in the US, too, expect maybe for Pitt. Not sure I’ve seen him in an ad yet.

2Pack

I guess it’s the norm now. I’m just disappointed that Katy doesn’t show any cleavage. I mean how TF does she intend to sell anything here like that? Even the window shutters commercials here have plunging neckline hotties.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

For someone who is as checked out of football as I claim to be, I sure do plan to watch a shit-ton of football today. Three different kinds, no less!

Doktor Zymm

My friend’s theory on why Mahomes is playing that I think may be true: KC wants to be extra sure to win so they can drop the Broncos game and keep Cincy out of the playoffs while keeping the bye

litre_cola

I got engaged 9 years ago today when Mrs. Cola and I went to, the Nutcracker. Coincidence we are going today? 100%

Game Time Decision

That’s awesome, enjoy

Senor Weaselo

Congratulations on your double engagement?

litre_cola

Citeh’s demise is delicious. Too bad it is Villa with the comeuppance.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve never understood the appeal of The Nutcracker.

Don T

Most of my former lady bosses were—I mean, did.

ballsofsteelandfury

Cascanueces sounds much less menacing.

It’s like nut scratcher…

litre_cola

Wife wants to go. I am going to the pub later so sacrifice my internet friend.

Doktor Zymm

When I was like 8 or something I took ballet lessons and was in a production as one of the sugar plum fairies. I had a kickass teal tutu. I wonder if that’s still in my parent’s basement somewhere?

blaxabbath

It’s like day three of record high temps here. I’m pushing to change this to a Christmas luau.

Game Time Decision

It’s – 12c/11F with a windchill of – 22 here. So,trade ya?
Or maybe meet in the middle?

Last edited 57 minutes ago by Game Time Decision
Doktor Zymm

Middle would be about where I am, although it is very cloudy and gloomy with some sprinkles. We’re 12/54 feels like 10/50 going up to 16/61 in the afternoon

litre_cola

Morning. Big day in the Cola household. Swimming lessons, then The Nutcracker, then hosting dinner, then finally the pub.

Nay footed ball for me. Cept this morning.

2Pack

Plus Marika in the holiday mood for the Napoli match this evening.
So.
Much.
Sports.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Merry Christmas to all!!

2Pack

Auguri Buon Natale!