Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

So, if you are reading this and have not heard the Little Drummer Boy since Nov 30, congratulations on making it through the LDB challenge. For the rest of us, better luck next year. As of writing this post, Monday Morning, I have only heard the song once, stewpid hospital muzac, so kinda annoyed that I was knocked out like that. I think Zymm said something that the new LDB is Whamm!’s Last Christmas, as it’s everywhere, but I’m not sure anyone that has ears and has been out of the house at any point in December would make it, as that song is everywhere up here.

As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Don T

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Guy refuses to do the job he signed up for. So you suspend him for three weeks. With pay seemingly. And a likely future opportunity? Is there open enrollment for this plan?
NotShogunButShogun

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What’s the point of Urgent Care? Try to go in and they schedule me for 4:30 in the afternoon, come back then. Come back, wow your heart rate is high and O2 levels are low, you need to go to the ER. Hey, just deal with the fluid in my lungs and the rest will sort it out. Anyways, now at ER.
Mr. Ayo

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When tariffs inevitably fail, at least the in the short-term, how does Trump, FOX, et. al. blame Biden and Democrats?

I’m going to take notes. Whoever is closest will get a gently used Big Turk bar and Canadian vibrator.
WCS

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I’ve been reading these comments and I want you all to know that I am at Mass and I’m praying for all your souls. Please, my friends, through Christ’s love you can find a true purpose to this life.
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Just kidding. I’m getting hammered down at the Legion watching football. Fuck you. 😘
Brick Meathook

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I haven’t seen the Vikings play this season, so I guess I’ll watch that one. Oh yeah, update: I paid my storage and they didn’t charge a late fee, woohoo!
Gumbygirl

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Thanks for the Reflections, GTD. They’ll be something special in your stocking Christmas Night.
Redshirt

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The best part of the Raiders game last night was when their punt returner called for (and made) a fair catch on the three yard line, which led to a safety two plays later. The blocked extra point was pretty funny too, because that plus the safety would have meant the Raiders could have tied it with a field goal instead of needing a touchdown at the end.

Did anything similarly amusing happen during the Bears game?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Well, maid service ain’t as cheap as it used to be but God DAMN did they do a nice job.

The right house has never looked cleaner.

I can host a gathering in peace without having do the heavy lifting.

Apart from the wallet lifting that is.

A person could get used to this!
yeah right

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Ugh, I didn’t pull the trigger on my liquor store order and now they’re sold out of luxardo cherries when they were a great price.

No, shut up, you have first world problems.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Energy Vampire Update:

Over the course of an hour and fifteen minute (should have been 20 minutes tops) meeting at a bank EV says to a complete stranger that is trying to straighten out some paperwork that, “I’m trying to be patient but I want to bite your face off”.

/that is verbatim stuff, guys
scotchnaut

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What fucking company makes their employee self review (fuck those things in general) due 2 days after Christmas?? I’m already doing the minimum amount of work before I fuck off for 2 weeks, and now I have to do this nonsense.
Sharkbait

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dryden,_Ontario

Found scotchy’s base of operations.
WCS

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My Day, by JJ Fozz:

Wake up at 530, sing along to Run Run Rudolph, Mrs. Fozz yells at me to stop singing

2 hour drive to work

Work: complete overhaul of a project I’ve worked on for a year.

2 hour drive home

Wife losing her mind due to hormonal implant. She is now crazier than Jerry Jones on a meth binge.

Pick up son. He drives like Burt Reynolds in Cannonball Run. I am on verge of a kill spree.

Get home. Mrs. Fozz bought new used car for my son. Drive car. Car is making horrendous sound on back left tire.

Slam my head repeatedly on steering wheel. Scream in car. Wonder if my wife is brain damaged.

Wife calls. Crying. “I made a huge mistake with the car.”

I pray to St. Jude. (Patron saint of lost causes.) He does not answer me. I tell him to eat shit.

Get home. Wife says, “I’m at my mom’s, wiping down her floors because she’s tired.”

My left ventricle sends out a ‘cease and desist’ notification.

Get home. Kids hungry. Go back out. Buy shitty food for them. Get stuck behind a fuckface in a lowered Honda Accord. Kill factor increased to 1,000.

Home.

I am on my fourth bourbon. Fuck the world.
jjfozz

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First week of the new job is going well. No remote work but the commute is maybe 15 mins. I got an office but no window. Even as a salary employee, I still get paid weekly.
Lots of AP and AR work in Oracle BI. My understanding is that the person I replaced was basically autistic and couldn’t interact with staff.
I can ham it up when needed.

Thanks for everyone well wishes.
Spur

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I got an early Festivus gift – my doctor (during today’s physical) finally gave up nagging me re colonoscapy, and is letting me do the “shit in a box” alternative. HUZZAH, avoidance!!

She’s an Iggles fan, so probably just was in a good mood.
King Hippo

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Spending the night at my parents’ with Lil’ WCS and Lil’er WCS before spending tomorrow with princess and Duke WCS then back to handling people’s holiday chaos

It’s too damned quiet here. Everyone’s been asleep for hours. I did the laundry, exercised a bit, got to exploit their hot water and take a 35 minute shower, took care of a completely random car insurance issue, and all on random night off.

I don’t know what to do. I must genuinely enjoy my jorb; I threw a bunch of use-or-lose vacation days at the wall, and got this week off inadvertently. Back to it tomorrow, but it’s a three-day week.

Speaking of inadvertent, think I just gave balls my holiday update.
WCS

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If you have anything shiny you can use it to signal passing planes and boats. However, if you are trying to keep your lair hidden avoid lair bling
Doktor Zymm

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As an Irish Catholic, let me be the first to state:

Fuck Notre Dame with a very used, rusty, and filth-encrusted syringe from a local shooting gallery outside South Bend.
WCS

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One of my protein supplier guys gifted me 10 pounds of kielbasa sausage on Thursday. I’m up to my knees in delicious, garlic-y pressed pork product. Send cheese and crackers, STAT!
scotchnaut

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I got engaged 9 years ago today [Dec 21] when Mrs. Cola and I went to, the Nutcracker. Coincidence we are going today? 100%
litre_cola

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Found a funny:

“party city’s going out of business” would be a good line to say right before you kicked someone in the nuts
rockingdog

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A lot of industry have left the state of Ohio but the Factory of Sadness remains.
clint greasewood

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Update: we have met the gentleman known as “SeaPimp”.

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Found a funny:

I love the drone panic because its a reminder that despite all our technology and societal advancement we’re never more than one unanswered question from reverting to peasants worried we’ll make the stars mad
rockingdog

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this holiday coca cola ad was made with ai*

*nobody got paid, cpus used more energy than a homeless shelter, looked only 95% finished (like all ai-made things), and you’re wondering why they just dont remaster their old polar bear ads from the 90s, like corona using the same feliz navidad commercial for decades)
fleshwound_NPG

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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