BUTT PILLOWS.
YES, THEY ARE!
Allow me to explain and/or provide some context. Zymm, of all people, posted the image below:
I was, naturally, curious. I looked up the Buttress Pillow website and went down a rabbit hole that allowed me to miss the bulk of the Saturday games. I posted some of the other models I found on the Saturday game thread. I will repost them below for your benefit and other pictures from the site. I also found out there are three sizes: The ODB (M), The OMG (L), and The ORT (XL). From the website: The ODB (15x14x7in. | 3 lbs) is modeled after the bubble butt. A great starter pillow. The OMG (18x18x10in. | 5 lbs) is a versatile bed and couch pillow featuring fat cheeks and a more curvaceous shape. The ORT (20x20x11in. | 6 lbs) is our biggest and best sleeping pillow featuring thick thighs and a small waist. It has the most space for sleeping.
As always, I have some questions…
- Which size should I get?
- I should match Lady Balls’ booty, shouldn’t I?
- Would she accuse me of cheating if I got a smaller size?
- “Do you not like my ass???”
- Are the makers of The Buttress Pillow aware that this is highly dangerous territory?
- Isn’t it interesting how all the models are girls?
- Are girls secretly as much into butts as I am?
- ARE THEY ALL SECRETLY TINA BELCHERS?!?
- Have any of you used your significant other’s butt as a pillow before?
- Do you understand NOW how it is that this product exists?
- Isn’t it great that you could potentially get the same great sensation without the risk of a fart in the face?
- Or are you into that?
- Is this a safe space where we can talk about fart fetishes ?
- How WASPily is Hippo judging me right now?
- Now that I think about it, Lady Ballsy won’t get mad if I put one of HER thongs on it, right?
- Because it’s HER thong?
- Do you think the next generation of Buttress Pillows will have a voice emulator that says to you “Goodnight, Papi”, plays sounds of the ocean, and/or just emits white noise?
- Would you pay extra for that?
- Or maybe the ocean sounds come standard with the Booty Beach model?
- Would the Deep Sea model play whale songs?
- Is it a coincidence that the center of the Nirvana pillow is EXACTLY where the butthole would be?
- Did Quentin Tarantino organize this photo shoot?
- Isn’t it great that on the website the pictures with multiple girls are labeled “Bed of Butts”?
- Isn’t that just “Heaven for Balls”?
- Who wants one of the mini butt keychains that come with my order?
Before you ask, yes, they make Boob Pillows too! Which one are YOU getting?
All answers = YES
This is an instance where I hope those are AI models.
I imagine JD Vance has placed a large order and is now on hold with his upholsterer.
myPillow guy had to diversify putting him at odds with the new cabinet
14. YES!!
seems part of a game in an Adult Double Dare parody starring Marc Cummers with a flag wedged in the cheeks somewhere
I don’t want to know about the slime.
This is a gateway product to ass eating. I can’t believe balls hadn’t thought of this.
I’m not sure how this works, but whenever I get a gas utility bill from SoCalGas, I have a credit instead of an arrear. It’s like I’m using negative gas or something.
Same here
Almost a year now
It might have something to do with that Climate credit they give twice a year, mebbe April and October? Your usage could be less than that.
“Move over rectangles!” reminded me of this great David Cross stand-up routine about heaven and square bagels:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ecVERmxa70
“They have tar in heaven!!”
incoming sock puppet account Buttsofsteelandfury
I think the only products that don’t have pictures of women in the marketing materials are products marketed to gay men, so I think we can safely conclude that these are lady butts. I wonder if there is a version for gay men butts or maybe that is a future area of expansion for them
I think I first heard of fart porn on Howard Stern (back when it was free). Like everything in the early internet days, I assumed it was a goof, but no. Some people get off on sniffing farts, and I am an innocent lamb apparently.
There once was a lad in Japan
Who saved all his farts in a can
This can he did store
On the floor by the door
So one day he could smell them again
Why aren’t you the Poet Laureate?
This is genuinely worth writing to them to suggest as an optional extra feature.
@Balls
Not sure if you’re aware of this but there’s a Super Vixens porn-adjacent series out there that I stumbled upon (everyone reading this rolls their eyes) on this movie channel that is so weird. Basically it’s Super Heroines fighting weird bad guys and it’s really fucked up. Or sexy. I seriously don’t know.
Celebrating your Freezer Vodka championship in style I see
Wait. Do you mean to tell me that you are not aware of the massive subgenre of superheroine porn featuring characters like “Wunder Womyn” and “Spandexer” and…oh, I don’t remember the knockoff name; it was some knockoff Flash who ragged (on-camera) on her costar because they couldn’t remember her character’s name. Huh. Now that I’m having the same difficulty I guess maybe it *was* a tough one to retain. Silver Speedster or something? We should probably use the DFO’s grant process to fund a research project to find out.
I’m not a pervert, so, “no”.
edit: Did I read beyond the first sentence? No, I did not.
“turned into”?
“Butt Pillows! The most Truck Nutz-adjacent product we could think of!”
-Nutz and Butz Industries
think would be Butt Bumpers, also a site already taken for other purposes im sure