We’ve Only Just Begun (2025) Footy Thread

I know I am repeating myself (Carpenter pun alert), but Hippo is very glad that a long ago New Year’s Resolution (to stop ever making New Year’s Resoliutions) has held for yet another year.  Everything will just fall to shit regardless, remember.

So..to the JV playoffs.  5 matches, 5 “so boring it might as well be the NBA” snoozers, after last night’s Paedo State romp.  Three chances to break that turgid streak, today, or complete a perversely impressive 8-for-8.  Arsenal also play Praise Beesus today at 12:30, bizarrely the only Prem action we gets.

Steerfuckers South (-13) v. Arizona State (1:00, ESPN)

I don’t give a tin shit where these “bowls” are being played, nor about their sponsors.  Annoying this game isn’t played in the desert, in from of thousands of semi-literate Sparky co-eds.  Anyway, 13 is a pretty damned big spread, given how Steerfuckers South (i) don’t forward pass very well; and (ii) have a season-long tendency to let any and all comers hang around.  But a trend is a trend, and nobody believes an upset is even remotely possible.

THEEEEEEE Ohio State (-2.5) v. Oregon (5:00, ESPN)

This is really the only “must see” of the day, if you need to sleep off your DTs in one or both other windows.  Michigan’s ass-blasting of Roll Damn Tide yesterday puts Coach Samsquanch and his Tree Nutz in a whole new light.  They just ran into a buzzsaw, that nobody really saw coming.  Shit happens.  I said I backed the tOSU/Vols winner to win it all, and I stand by it.  I am expecting a 10-ish point win for the “lower” seed – Quack Attack needed everything to break right in order to barely beat tOSU in their first matchup.  In Eugene.  At night.  I am not a Dillon Gabriel believer, and the team with superior strength in the trenches will win.

Notre Dame (+1) v. Georgia (8:45, ESPN)

In the “Indiana Klan” book scotchy recommended (I finished in like a week, was REALLY good), I learned that the “Fighting Irish” moniker only really took/cemented thanks to the student body rising up to stop a 1920s Klucker parade in South Bend.  Their footed ball squadron can still get fucked, though.  Much like tOSU, I will back UGA to ride its advantages in the trenches and at wideout to win the day.  Would set up an all PAAAAWWWWWLLLLL/B1G raging semis, which is better than having same contain Notre Dame.  Christ, can you imagine how unwatchable a semi ND v. Paedo State would be?  UGH.  Caveat emptor – my disgust might be overstating the Bulldogs’ chances here, but Kirby Smart is legitimately the best coach in the field.

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Brick Meathook

My collection of slide rules.

The aluminum E6B flight computer was given to me by tWBS. It belonged to his late father (who also owned a Piper Cherokee) and Seamus wanted it to have good home, which it does.

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

I’ve got 2 slide rules but have no clue how to use them for math

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

One interesting thing is to go back and try to solve my own Request Line clues (assuming I’ve forgotten them). I totally stumped myself with the last one – the clue was “kunduz” which is the Turkish word for “beaver” which points to…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LzQOlX7Xl8

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And hopefully MOAR BEAVER

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s gonna be tough coming up with topics this season. We’re 261 deep at this point.

Gumbygirl

We all have goldfish memory, once around the bowl and the whole world is new. I think it would be ok to repeat a few if you get stuck

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We’ll call them “Classic” Request Line.

Gumbygirl

I was thinking that last night!

yeah right

Winonas Big Brown Beaver!

Redshirt

I have a say, having the Illuminati call a whole generation of people Generation Beta to subliminally submit to their will is smart.

ballsofsteelandfury

I think it’s been decided they’re called The Cucks.

Last edited 1 year ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Doktor Zymm

I bet they’ll call the next one Generation Gamma, because of Gamma rays

Unsurprised

What in the absolute fuck is Oregon doing?

BeefReeferLives

I think its called “losing”.

scotchnaut

“Can confirm.”

-B. Daboll, N.J.

Mr. Ayo

Fucking a duck. Unfortunately, that means they’re fucking themselves.

Brick Meathook

Here’s a tri-tip I broiled a while back.

This is before I got the sentient digital stainless steel range that I can control from my phone while I’m driving.

It was pretty good after I silenced the fire alarms.

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Unsurprised

Flame broiled. Nice.

Redshirt

Never thought I could post this.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s delightful.

Unsurprised

What’s going on?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

No, the song is called What’s Up?

https://youtu.be/6NXnxTNIWkc?si=6k-4cad3CI8G4kUt

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Has there been a single second-half lead change in the entirety of the college football playoffs?

LemonJello

Game recap?

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Gatoraids

half a monday since most people will be out and not likely to bother you and canel their meeings

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ve made myself two* Vieux Carres tonight. The only** difference was in one I used Cinzano sweet vermouth and in the other one I used carpano antica. And the one with carpano antica is approximately 7x better.

*Ok, I made two different recipes but may have had more than two drinks
**The second batch was a double whereas I had two singles to start of the carpano antica one. But the point stands

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Those poor kids being born as part of “Generation Beta” might as well just call them “The Cucks”.

SonOfSpam

Oh I intend to bully them mercilessly

/Googles directions to nearest maternity ward

jjfozz

Snow in the forecast for Monday.

In other news, Baltimorons lose their ever loving minds

blaxabbath

Stocking up on tp?

jjfozz

And milk. And bread.

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

1 to 3 inches?
[Wanking motion]
That’s not even brush off the car type of snow, it will drive off
-Canadian contingent

litre_cola

We got that last night. Didn’t even shovel the driveway. Just drove over it.

Redshirt

Equal parts nervous rage and resigned acceptance.

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

That’s such a banger of a song

Doktor Zymm

Time for one of my nerdiest pleasures, closing out my 2024 spreadsheet and comparing my budget categories to previous years!

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Hopefully you’re within 1 standard deviation across all years

Doktor Zymm

I’ve been doing this sheet since 2013 when I was still in grad school, so there are some pretty big changes captured in the full data

yeah right

I made lots of money!

jjfozz

THIS OREGON DEFENSE, I CALL THEM TOPPINGS FOR A TACO CAUSE THEY’RE GETTING SHREDDED

blaxabbath

3 dead, 20 injures in Oahu from illegal fireworks accident. Did our state postponed our big plans for 24 hours? No – New Orleans isn’t even a whale sanctuary.

https://www.staradvertiser.com/2025/01/01/breaking-news/2-dead-20-wounded-in-fireworks-explosion-in-salt-lake/

ballsofsteelandfury

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…a fireworks explosion on Keaka Drive that killed at least three people and injured 20 after a lit cake firework tipped onto its side and shot into a nearby garage, igniting a cache of other fireworks and causing a large explosion.

That sounds like something that would happen at a birthday party for a player on the Chicago Bears.

Doktor Zymm

Nah, gender reveal party

Doktor Zymm

Poor explosives safety looks like it might be a 2025 theme already

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

jason pierre-paul was blowing himself up before it was cool ppl forget that

BeefReeferLives

“Yup”

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Redshirt

I have no words at this point.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Lea Michele, five minutes into her initial attempt at The Cat in the Hat

ballsofsteelandfury

I feel like driving to Disneyland and getting a pickle corn dog from Downtown Disney.

Mind you, I’m not going to do it, but that sounds really good right now.

Doktor Zymm

Pickle corn dog?

LemonJello

“Did I hear my name?”

-Trent Green

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I thought that was what balls called third base

ballsofsteelandfury

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Doktor Zymm

Oh that looks good

ballsofsteelandfury

So he’s overcome handicaps? Good for him!

Mr. Ayo

Christ, what an asshole

Redshirt

!

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Gatoraids

feel like we are heading for some Deep Hurting tho

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

2025’s response:

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blaxabbath

Your body wants cheese. Thick yogurt will do the trick.

LemonJello

Quack Attack just letting tOSU wear themselves out scoring all those points, then they’ll show ’em!

Redshirt

..

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blaxabbath

ASU sucks.

litre_cola

Salty, must be from the sea breeze.

scotchnaut

Have you said that before? I can’t remember.

blaxabbath

Until they change their sucking ways….

litre_cola

As we are discussing Dawgs backup qb is better than their hurt starter

litre_cola

Please tell me he has an accent like Legette.

SonOfSpam

Well, bummer.

SonOfSpam

THEEEEE Oregon?

SonOfSpam

(calls non-existent bookie, bets non-existent farm on Oregon)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Man, it’s a good thing that was a made-up story.

SonOfSpam

Yes, I can’t afford actual gaming.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[should have booked it] – every gambler in town

litre_cola

Raises hand. I did

litre_cola

Fuck you 2025.

SonOfSpam

I mean give or take 500 years

litre_cola

Oooof that hurt

Gatoraids

Haven’t seen a safety that off since Plaxico in the club

scotchnaut

We’re entering Crazytown.

The Maestro

Holy. Fuck.

Gatoraids

Why isnt skattebo in on D!?!

Mr. Ayo

HORNS DOWN, FORKS UP!!!

SonOfSpam

I think you can officially refer to ASU as “gutty”

litre_cola

This is awesome

scotchnaut

DOINKTOWN!

litre_cola

He did. He texted me before the kick.

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Need to get in on the betting group chat with hippo and litre

ballsofsteelandfury

Karma bitches!

The Maestro

LET’s GOOOOOOO HORNS DOWN!!!

LemonJello

SHAN’KHLOR fucking hates the Longhorns

Gatoraids

Doink’lar was offended by the referees call. Praise Be

Redshirt

Overcorrected!

Gatoraids

Call went to Texas 5th Circuit of Appeals court which said targeting is protected by 2nd Amendment

Don T

🤣🤣

Redshirt

I see Oregon is bringing their conservative style helmets.

scotchnaut

I CALL THIS LONGHORN KICKER A TYPICAL TEXAN BECAUSE HE TENDS TO GO TO THE RIGHT!

litre_cola

That’s targeting!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s bullshit is what it is

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