It really doesn’t get much better than this. That it comes from the NFC North is a question that football historians will debate even two weeks from now. I remember way back in the day when the one win Giants and Niners met on a Sunday(?) night in 1990. This clash is right up there.
To The Game!
Vikes/Lions
-The loser is the most ridiculously powerful #5 seed that has ever been and going on the road wouldn’t be an impediment to success. (feel free to correct me)
-There was a look-a-like Dan Campbell Contest. Several entrants suffered knee-related injuries.
-Can I say anything more about Goff? He’s flinging it at a 77% rate. Deniers will go the “Dome” route but I’m in the “right time, perfect place” camp. It’s the offense running on all cylinders because he makes the perfect pass every time.
-This is going to be fascinating-Gibbs has gone nuts (thanks fantasy champeenship!) but the Vikes D is holding teams to 88 yards per game. OC Ben Johnson doesn’t turn away from the rush that easily if stymied so we’re going to see a chess game.
-Lions linebacker might be back from the walking wounded squadoo but from what I’ve seen of Alex Anzalone..yeah, he’s a tackling machine for runners up the middle but that guy is slow tracking tight ends or rb’s out of the backfield.
-The Lions have won four straight vs their Minny opponents for the first time in a while.
-My sneaky game-breaker tonight? He goes by the name of Jalen Nailor. He’s a #2 wr in the making that is 4th in the pecking order behind JJ, Addison and Hockey. He’ll only get, at most, four looks but if they’re at the right time he’ll do damage.
Enjoy.
Baby Buster sighting!
At present, my heat is being an asshole again. As such, I have my Cavs TAKE TEH HILL scarf wrapped around my ears/chin/top of head like a Russian grandmother.
Sip some borscht!
Get your kitties on your lap. Problem solved.
Champions!
It’s a shame the pinnacle of hair implant science is in Turkey or Stav would be all over that.
I see we have another aficionado among us.
If you have Peacock on your TV or Apple TV or Roku or computer or whatever
There is a Spanish version of the game.
Celsius! what is that in Merican?
She still wears pasties on her OnlyFans. Because, you know, principles.
not only darnold turing into jets darnold, if love and other packer injuries are legit, the entire nfc north is finally turning into the pumpkin it has always been and at the very last possible minute
the bears actually followed the script the whole time
The turf monster claims another victim.
Dan Snyder generiously provided the turf for tonight’s game
Darnold is either turning back into a New York Jet before our very eyes, or he is, in fact, Sam from “Quantum Leap”.
They DID do that one episode where he was
retaVery Special Young ManIt’s like Married with Children when Al makes a deal with the devil to get to the Super Bowl.
“There’s nothing about winning the Super Bowl in our agreement”
Grand Master V nods
Sam Darnold never made it home.
Was he on his way back to his home planet?
Real talk for a second: That was a fucking kick in the balls.
Wait, did Sam just jump in and is disoriented or did he just jump out having accomplished whatever it was and now it’s the old Darnold again? Quick! Someone find out if he recently repaired his relationship with his parents or narrowly avoided a catastrophic car accident!
The second one. This is the real Sam.
It’s the Vikings, so my guess is that it was him turning down an invitation to go party on a boat with his teammates.
Pittsburgh and Baltimore have been scheduled against each other so often you’d think there was some kind of rivalry or bad blood between them.
I am genuinely concerned that “Deal or No Deal Island” includes sex trafficking somehow.
“Not me.” – Mike Brown
Is it being hosted on Epstein Island?
It’s probably available.
That reminds me of some street interview in England where this guy says they should round up all the pesos and put them on an island.
‘They did. It’s called Great Britain.
Maybe it’s the pitcher of sangría + ColOmbian toradol speaking, but Darnold seems to have reverted to his Touch of Downs splendor.
It’s past his usual bed time.
Sleepy Sam
That’s the Hippo signal!
Justin Jefferson needs to work out and bulk up in the offseason so he can grow that extra 15″ taller that he’ll need to be to catch those balls.
SHANK’HLOR and Doink! we’re thinking of intervening on that kick…
“It’s too cold.”
Sudden change!
FUCK
I have been remiss.
SHUT UP COLLINSWORTH!
I think it’s just assumed, at this point.
On my Samsung TV:
Menu -> Sound -> Multi-track Options -> Preferred Language -> Spanish
We can has safety dance?
Sadly, we cannot.
Too dangerous.
Damn close!
As they show more replays I’m inclined to agree that the Lions got away with one there.
Goff spiked that one right into the ground.
ball dont lie!
A classic example, although Darnold is doing his best not to capitalize on it.
JEST darnold has come back at the worst possible time for minny
Nah, in two weeks would be the worst possible time.
stop giving away points like this, nfl coaches
especially this time of year. take the damn points however you can get them.
They tried to Lion the Lions on the Lions home turf, which seems like a bad move
I was forced into taking a nap against my will by 2 cats and 1 dog.
Good job, pets.
“We require a heat source, human.”
This man is 3 years younger than me and I have spent the last two days knocked off my feet because my sinuses are clogged.
https://twitter.com/DobberHockey/status/1873958153861410983
and he prob banged a sexy 18 year old model after the game
Probably?
More likely a 21-year-old dental assistant, given the circumstances.
“How much do you think that will cost?”
-Skip Bayless
We don’t talk much about Skip around here but I think it’s about time we start.
Counterpoint: There is no reason to ever acknowledge Skip Bayless’s existence.
He (allegedly) offered to pay some hairdresser $1.5M to bang him. It’s worth knowing about so we can mock him properly.
two 18 year old models
I’ll put any NHL player up against any NFL player when it comes to toughness, determination, and the ability to play through any type of pain
NHL players are #1 with a bullet.
I would put UFC fighters up there as well, although a lot of that I think is the CTE just making them too dumb not to fight with a torn rotator cuff and broken hand.
I’ll take the NFL player in any sort of contest that involves chewing though
Gold teeth are still teeth
The best kind of teeth. Wonderful teeth.
Paging the Right Reverend…
Such a high-stakes race to the mute button, so I don’t have to hear “People was trippin” for the millionth time.
el botón de mute es tu amigo.
Tu MEJOR amigo
Just opened my 2nd Modelo and I don’t have the fighting spirit yet. Go Vikes!
ouch.
oof, that looked ouchy
Passed out during the second slate of games and seems to have done wonders for my head cold. Can’t wait to be up until 3:30 because of that nap.
Lowratio messed up your Hibernol dose?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8w_cm26Mbes
If you were in Canadia all you would get is gambling and Subway ads. EAT OUR BREAD THAT ISN’T ACTUALLY BREAD.
Oh and Mahomes/Tiny Troy Head and Shoulders ads.
Still beats Pharma ads
Canadia, soon to be our 51st state.
Or possibly 52nd, we might annex Mexico first
If there was a vote my province would do it. Then rename itself to North Texas.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Dw_aj68Gqg
No es bueno
Or Greenland.
Panama.
https://youtu.be/fuKDBPw8wQA
It’s not good bread, but it is, unfortunately, bread
Not in Ireland it isn’t
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/oct/01/irish-court-rules-subway-bread-is-not-bread
In the US and North America generally too much sugar isn’t a reason for something to not be bread though, we have tonnes of sweet breads (not sweetbreads though)
the texans couldve gone 17-0 and still would get that first 4:30 game on wildcard saturday.
again.
Why break with tradition?
The who?
Texans? What does college football have to do with NFLplayoffs?
Those Lion constumes in the stands look pretty warm, smart!
Plus they don’t need to change to get into the furry orgy afterward!
The first power armor suit will be made by a furry whose day job is as a sysadmin.
or some cosplayer who is a roboticist
Same person
“The Lions head coach looks like an angry gym teacher.” – Mrs. Cola
Really brave throw by Buster
All he needed was to believe in himself! .
.
.
Which seems like bullshit but I guess actually worked in this case. Huh
The lions unis are ass, however, I love the blue colour of their helmets.
Ditto
feels odd that
-two punts already
-no points scored so far
-no lion defender has died yet
One of them slipped in the shower this morning so they’re ahead of schedule
ok thats better
I like this Zylstra guy on Detroit. I know basically nothing about him, but his name starts well so he’s got that going on!
careful of his long list of side effects
Do not take Zylstra if you are pregnant, expecting to be pregnant, allergic to Zylstra, have pets, or eat apples. Side effects of Zylstra include love of flyover states, diarrhea, vomiting, constipation, love of flyover cities, and stanning Jerome Bettis.
Zylstra is not mean to treat or cure any disease or illness. These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, FBI, or us.
So you really, really love flyover states?
The lady sitting next to me on this flight keeps crossing herself before takeoff. Should I ask if that covers me too?
Tell her He can’t hear here due to the airplane construction and electronics.
Do an inverted cross to cancel it out. Write some sixes on your cocktail napkin.
Left-right or right-left?
IN THIS HOUSE, WE BELIEVE IN TRANSUBSTANTIATION!
Nope, just shout out allah akbar! It will fucking freak her out
if its her legs might want to let her get up to the bathroom
Ask if you can get a rider on her coverage.
‘everyone but the center’
LOL
If I did a shot every time the big guy on Telemundo said Big Boy, I’d have died of alcohol poisoning five minutes ago.
I did nae bet on this. This is just for pure enjoyment.
This is the quintessential NFL game, except it’s a bit late. Sunday. Two Rust Belt teams tied for the NFC and NFC North championship on the line. Last game of the regular season. Starters in.
LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
These Lions uniforms have made me root for the Vikings now
There hasn’t been a contest between Vikings and Lions this important since Byzantium.
Goddammit, I wanted to see Jeff put on the helmet and eat some kneecaps…
Have any other coaches been fired, or is Robert Kraft getting the only happy ending today?
YEE HAW! THE ONLY THING I’M FIRING TONIGHT IS MY DUST SPUNK ON THESE HOOKERS FACES!
ghost spunk? zombie spunk? more like a lich maybe?
I initially went with ghost spunk. Great call!
TWBS has entered the chat
I don’t see any 22 year old bud-tenders here?
Oh. Sorry. Should I have left them in the car?
Jerrah’s so old he jizzes cobwebs…
I have placed McDaniels in my own personal Wicker Cetacean
https://bsky.app/profile/osullyville.bsky.social/post/3lezvqxyq3c2y
I love that Bluesky is collapsing faster than MSNBC
I wonder if the Jets front office is going to make a play for San Darnold in the off season.
What would they have to package along with Qaron, to get the Vikings to make the trade?
I’d guess the game tape from tonight.
one FDA position to be named later
Looking at their options:
Keep Rodgers and/or Tyrod Taylor, draft a QB that falls to them Quinn Ewers or Jalen Milroe.
Sell the farm and trade up for Sanders or Ward.
Outbid the Vikings for Darnold(someone they drafted and ruined) or make a play for unknown JJ McCarthy.
Roll the dice with a free agent like Russel Wilson, Justin Fields, Trade for Kirk Cousins, Mac Jones etc.
It should be Russell Wilson. They’re suckers for former All-Pros that are past their prime.
Could I interest them in a gently used Kenny Pickett? The Iggles seem to have found their backup.
What a terribly derisive nickname for a Fleshlight.
I would go with “trade away every decent player they have for draft picks and tank in ’25 on purpose this time”
I always get annoyed about people talking about how society is falling into degeneracy.
But I just watched back to back gambling ads featuring people with face tattoos giving picks or whatever.
I feel old and scared.
It’s true. It was always true.
Again, I’ll be with you all in spirit as I record the game to save my sanity.
Let’s do this motherfucker, Boys!
“Geno Smith has three performance-based incentives on the line in Week 18 — two individual and one team-related. Each incentive is worth $2 million and, as such, would total up to $6 million.”
Geno got all three. Geno is:
With a base salary of 12.7MM he got an almost 50% year end bonus!
Those west coast tech guys just piss away money like it’s free (It is for them).
https://youtu.be/_WPn_D-cl4k?t=40
They can rebuild him. They have the technology.
The official Cleveland lore is that Baker Mayfield got chased out of Cleveland for being immature, selfish, and not a team player.
Meanwhile Baker is in Tampa nearly causing a brawl on the field because he didn’t take a knee, threw a short dime to Evans, ensuring he got Evans his $3 million bonus, on top of slinging it to a divisional win and a playoff spot.
God I hate the Browns. We deserve all the bad things we get..
Well they replaced him with not one, but two sexual miscreants, so yeah I’m gonna agree Baker probably not the problem there by the shores of Lake Erie
I was always confused as to why they got rid of him. He was the first QB to survive more than a season on the Browns in a while and he actually manged to win games while doing it
Plus, he kept the stadium nice and neat!
He’s the only Browns QB to win a playoff game in over 20 years, IIRC.
So the next year he gets hurt & they keep playing him anyway. By the end of the season he’s completely beat to shit, & they dump him for peanuts so they can sell their future for a sex pest.
Browns deserve their ignominy.
One of the commentators last night summed it up: “[Cleveland[ has a quarterback. He plays in Tampa.”
We also would have accepted:
GOD: “I hate the Browns.”
Stephen Miller: SEE! SEE! I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO!
Tonight calls for a very special effort from the QBs. Pretty sure I know which one will deliver.
Oh, look! He just pulled up to the stadium!
I’m going to steal this gif
Getting more and more stoned while working on my year end self assessment for work. I hate, hate, hate this shit.
“A&D fucking rules”
Copy
Paste
Sorry. A&H. A&D haven’t ruled since like 2021.
*one loss giants/niners
**it was a monday night game
***they ended up meeting again in the title game (sending montana into the dark realm)
(sorry for correcting you again today, heres an early sexy friday to make up for it)
She looks familiar, but I can’t remember the name. Little help?
https://www.instagram.com/blackandwhite_ina_modelina/
It’s the Shadow Realm, current home of the Brooklyn Nocturnes bullpen!
https://youtu.be/COdTiXd_vjA?si=5KFwnUF7GuYQFLAP