Welcome to Glendale, Arizona-home of the Arrowhead Town Center shopping mall! (seriously, that’s the third sentence in their wiki bio) Guh…
Fallout:
-They’re expected to fall to Detroit next week (as almost all have) but there’s more good news for Washington-the amount of cap space they’re expected to have this offseason? A mere 100 mil. The GM is Adam Peters and he has this team poised to be far above average for the foreseeable future-with the ability to sign free agents of high caliber he can even whiff in the draft and still be okay.
-Eagles starting linebacker Nakobe Dean is done for the playoffs with a torn patellar tendon. The dude knows how to fill out a stat sheet sheet what with 128 tackles, 3 sacks, 9 TFL, 6 QB hits and an INT. That’s tangible difference-making that is going to be hard to replace.
-Yeah, sure, Herbert had a bad game but the reason is that the Texans game plan from the defensive line was near-perfect. Herbert was pressured on 50% of his dropbacks and had less than 2.5 seconds to release the ball 11(!) times. Five of those times defenders were completely unblocked.
To The Game!
-Minny has the most wins ever for a non-#1 seed.
-Stafford averages 308 yards throwing in the playoffs, that’s #1 for all QB’s that have started a minimum of 5 games. Kurt Warner and Dan Fouts come in at second and third with 304.
-That said, the Rams are the lowest-scoring team (21.6) to make the postseason this year.
-With those scoring problems they’ve learned how to win ugly-their last three wins have come by scores of 12-6, 19-9 and 13-9. No one talks about their D.
-The last time they played the Vikes blitzed 12 times and didn’t record a single hit or pressure. How is that possible?
-The Rams have to get out of the gate much faster-they average only 6.8 points scored in the first half.
-I love the sports media’s take on Sam Darnold through the weeks. When he threw for 5 TD’s vs Atlanta it was all SAM THE MAN! When he threw for 0 TD’s vs Detroit (and no INT’s either) it was “Darnold Can’t Rise To The Occasion”. JFC…
DO YOUR BEST.
Are Jared Allen’s eyes crooked or is he melted?
Yes
/realizes the Vikings back-up is Daniel Jones.
Oh. Oh that’s why Darnold hasn’t been pulled.
“Usually a failure to get pulled is because you didn’t pay the money up front.” – Bob Kraft
“All you really need is a Target parking lot and belief in your own abilities.”
-Kellen Winslow Jr.
“Hey – that’s my belt!”
– David Carradine
Did anyone here ever play Rune? You could use anything an enemy dropped, including body parts, as a weapon. What we’re watching here is the Rams beating the Vikings to death with their own severed arm
There was an arcade game called Two Crude Dudes where you could pick up a bunch of stuff including a tank to whack people with.
-Two Crude Dudes also a Linsdey Graham erotic novel.
“Choose MY own adventure?! Giddy-up!”
Ladybugs and the Two Crude Dudes
The Ghost of Danny Dimes is sitting on the sidelines, waiting, waiting.
I’m believing more and more in the Quantum Leap Darnold theory watching this game.
Sam Darnold never returned home.
Wait, they really jumped into a special kid?
Holy shit, 80s.
Mr.Belvedere had an episode where a kid had aids and they still used the laugh track.
Sure but that’s objectively funnyHey Mr Belvedere sat on his balls once and missed some filming time
Did they activate Daniel Jones, because this could be the greatest thing ever.
He’s only the emergency 3rd QB sadly
Boooo!
Hey, that’s your starter next year. COACH PRIME WILL GET HIM GOING!
Minnesota going to be Jonestown after this game anyways
Lots of poisoned lutefisk hot dishes
(also you sir are on a roll)
Unlike Darnold, Gatoraids is seeing some wide open shots and hitting them.
[jots down reminder to name next year’s fantasy team “Daniel Jonestown Massacre”.
My buddy and I were just discussing that.
Huh, that’s odd. From just the looks of it, it seems my YouTubeTV app is recording a documentary about Ragnarök instead of tonight’s game.
/footage taken five nights ago in the Pacific Palisades
How fun would it be if the Vikings and Steelers swapped coaches after flaming out of the playoffs?
be a fun Twist on Hard Knocks to combine with Trading Spouses.
Let’s make sure that SonOfSpam stays put in the clubhouse instead of running around outside with a Rams bandana wrapped around his wing-wang, setting off fireworks.
Rammit better save some for Philly.
Moar injuries plz.
LIKE (can’t think of his name) THAT LB FROM GEORGIA? HUH????
Yeah, just like him.
I was thinking the Vikings could go into the locker room down 14, regroup and make a comeback.
Now…I am going to go to bed early.
That sound you’re hearing is Sam Darnold’s fat contract extension being shredded.
HI MR. Of Downs I’M MARK DAVIS!!!
Woof.
That’s game blouses
Rammmmmmmittttt!
Man, the Vikings aren’t even trying.
In a post game interview, sam Darnold will say that he felt the presence of Aaron Donald out there.
It’s official, sam is seeing ghosts
Double J saw the UberEats bill and shitcanned McCarthy. As long as its a young coach I’ll be happy.
Don’t scroll too far down.
Dammit. But if anyone was going to poison Double J it would be Deion.
That’s PRIME TIME’s music!
You’re a Cowboys fan, you’ll never be happy until Jerrah is getting Hummers in Hayell.
Double J as an Army of Bastards fighting for control of his empire. That also means McCarthy was Hot-Pie.
Sam Darnold being visited by the ghost of games past, better get his ass to seeing the ghost of the fucking present.
Did Darnold fuck all of his O-line’s wives and girlfriends? They are letting him get obliterated.
He really will be very special if this keeps up.
A very special 4th down sack!
How much is Sam costing himself this evening?
I will go with “all of it”
It really is true: when you’re a Jet, you’re a Jet for life
Odd year Darnold blows as much as even year Darnold.
LA spent all week practicing for one big Viking funeral
oh my god
God damn
Shut it down. We’re done here.
MUST BANNER ASAP
I hope Darnold gets hurt and they take him off the field in a short cart.
.
TWO MEN ENTER, ONE MAN LEAVES!
“Amateurs.”
– Lisa Ann
Not pig shit! Energy!
Evening Folks
“How are the Rams treating you, Sam?”
“Like they caught me in bed with their wives”
Norman.
Should we tell yeah right not to bother?
Absolutely not!
Where’s the fun in that?
He’s a good man but he needs to see this.
RAMMMMMMMMMMMIT
goodness I’m spent already
– the insurance money
insurmountable lead based on what I have seen so far
A very special 3rd down fumble!
Darnold has turned into a pumpkin
he’s frantically calling Kirk Cousins agent
I dunno man, looked like a forward pass attempt to me.
PRIME TIME
You shut your whore mouth.
There sure are a lot of got-your-nose turnovers in this game
SPOILER ALERT: THAT IS NOT YOUR NOSE
Is it a penis? It’s a penis.
It’s not a Penix
For anyone who thinks the fix is in for LA, this is the real test.
So I emailed our data scientist today. He’s young and kinda dweeby and also very fucking full of himself.
Basically I said, “Hey let’s talk about putting together a training piece to educate people on how to use this dashboard you created.”
So the little assfuck emails me back and says, “In this future, please include [inserts name of several people who are fucking busy and would have no impact on this project] going forward.”
He’s not a millenial, he’s whatever the fuck is after that pathetic generation.
Either way, I want to club him to death.
Aren’t they called Zoomers?
Can’t wait for Generation Cuck to hit Fozz’s workplace.
After his first day I came and told my wife, “New guy started. I don’t trust him for shit.”
I was once trying to make friends with him, and he admitted he can’t cook so I gave him the recipe for “bachelor ground beef.”
Take ground beef
Spray Pam in cooking pan
Cook beef
Season to taste
Eat out of the pan
No plates used, only one utensil
He looked at me as if I told him to eat a baby
Well did he eat a baby?
Ah yes, or as it’s known out here, a “California Cheeseburger”.
He’s a zoomer. He is the baby.
Simply reply “no”
What a cuntmonocle, I hate him too for giving data scientists a bad name
All the “+1’s” for use of the term “cuntmonocle”
Ooh. A dashboard-builder.
Tell him to go fuck a car.
Just to make things interesting:
It’s a fucking data dashboard. He didn’t build you a SSBN nuclear power plant and tell you to figure it out. Why do you need a tutorial?
My ribbing should not be taken as an indication that this little cunt deserves anything less than to be punted into low orbit.
Oh it’s not for me, it’s for the dumbfucks who will try and use it – it’s fucking self explanatory – and then bitch.
You should be allowed to fire them instead.
Maybe the real Vikings went to Glendale, CA tonight.
There used to be a Viking pizza place in Glendale but it closed down.
I bet their delivery service was unique: first they break into your home, set it ablaze, rape and pillage the residents, and then leaving a piping hot pizza on the rubble.
The fire keeps it hot
I wonder who will replace Grumblelord in the first halves next season? It’s a good format to have an educated football talkin’ guest in the first half then the super fun guests in the 4th quarter so blowouts are still entertaining. I could do without the random actors or whoever in Q3, but that’s a minor quibble. They’re gonna need another ex-coach or similar for H1
Trial run for Hologram AI John Madden. Soon they won’t have to pay ANY announcers! The NFL will pass the savings on to you!
I’ve been watching this trash reality show: Love After Lockup. Holy Jesus God A’Mighty. I have never witnessed a more depressing, delusional, flat out fucking stupid bunch of people in my life.
You don’t have CSPAN on your cable box?
Jeez, Fozz. We’re right here, you know!
I 100 percent watch that show too. It is brainless and full escapism for me Fozz.
The dude with six kids by a woman he’s never married – I have no clue as to how he can walk and breathe at the same time. My god, what a fucking potato.
Is that about the Packers QB?
Try 90 day fiancee. There are a zillion of them and these people are all delusional AF. MRS GTD loves her trashy TV and watches it
https://www.wcpo.com/news/local-news/homeowner-accidentally-sets-house-on-fire-while-trying-to-melt-ice-with-blowtorch?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR184KnhQndBEHBejpI6IP1FkNp7SbTMV_4yHUqdyC8BZoyLuoH5i0wARp0_aem_iS16YDkawtJvKuDCvDHdhg
…and that’s the news from Cincinnati!
Is Kupp even playing?
He’s been getting ignored lately, not sure why.
Supposedly he’s never really recovered from the early-season ankle injury.
Yeah, without his quicks, he’s kinda average.
He got caught dipping into Fatthew’s sidleline snack pack
A very special 3rd down throw!
Hopefully “Seeing Ghosts” Darnold sticks around.
How in the hell did the Bears beat these guys?
Looks like Darnold picked the wrong week to resume eating paste.
/#54 judo throws the rusher into the kicker
The refs: Oh thank god, it’s make-up call time!!
The fix is in!!!
Or not!
I will be switching my allegiance to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers if this happens, and that’s a promise.
https://twitter.com/Schultz_Report/status/1878983770004689144
BWAHAHAAHAHAHA
I’ve been keeping this in reserve.
Gonna laugh for days, just thinking about this happening.
SYNERGY
Here’s hoping they get stranded on a desert island and wind up eating each other until only their skulls remain.
Oh, Colorado. We all knew this was going to happen.
WOOOHOOO COACH PRIMER , MY GLORIOUS DOME COULD USE A NEW COAT OF PAINT. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW IM FUCKING INSANE.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
YES, DO IT!
Dear football Gods. Make it so.
It’s fate. This is totally going to happen.