Clash of the Titans-Your Ravens/Bills Thread

Apparently it’s going to be a chilly one today in Buffalo-she’s supposed to be around -12 Celsius. For you Los Angelenos, that’s around the temperature that your lavender and roasted pistachio gelato served up by Epiphany (“such a nice smile!”) should be at.

To The Game!

Ravens/Bills:

This is the game that Henry was brought in for. If the field ends up being slippery he’ll be even more difficult to tackle. Of the eight playoff games he’s played, he’s run for 150+ yards in half of them.

-The Bills are very fortunate in that three defensive starters that weren’t available when they last played Baltimore will be on the field today. Cornerback Johnson but much more importantly, linebackers Matt Milano (the signal-caller) and Terrel Bernard should solidify the defense.

-The Ravens have played 10 playoff teams and their record is 7-3 in those games. They surrendered an average of 18.5 points against them. The Bills played only 5 playoff teams and their record was 2-3. More worryingly, they gave up 33(!) points on average.

-That said, Buffalo is now 9-0 at home this year.

-The Ravens are the first offense to pass for 4,000 yards and run for 3,000 in the same season.

-Henry is a load of course but don’t overlook James Cook-of his 16 total TD’s, 13 of them have come after week five.

-Can Baltimore feel good if this tilt comes down to a last-second field goal? Though Jason Tucker finished at 73.3% for the year, that is a career-low for him.

Strength vs Strength: Allen is now the QB with the most rushing yards in the playoffs. The Ravens allowed the fifth-least rush yards to quarterbacks this year.

Have at it.

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

INSURMOUNTABLE LEAD!

fleshwound_NPG

the bounces are going buffalos way so farcomment image

fleshwound_NPG

doh, expired

LemonJello

Lamar better try and poop again before he comes out for the second half and does it on the field.

fleshwound_NPG

ah, BLEERGH wants BUFFALO REVENGE NARRATIVE

Beerguyrob

That PI call was pretty Chiefy.

Sharkbait

I love that expression

ballsofsteelandfury

Perfectly put

Redshirt

.

IMG_0910
litre_cola

Ravens can’t stop the run.

fleshwound_NPG

cant stop tripping over own dick, too

Unsurprised

I can’t wait to see this reemerge in New Orleans

Unsurprised

This.

IMG_5423
Unsurprised

Wow. I didn’t realize I had a ton of sweat pants hiding around here.

LemonJello

Need to see some yellow and red cards for this nonsense after the play.

Redshirt

Derrick Henry TD, si vous plait.

Redshirt

If that was Mahomes, the defender would be ejected.

Beerguyrob

No lies detected.

IMG_6527
Beerguyrob

I love the lineman trying to suplex him across the goal line.

Doktor Zymm

One hell of a mosh pit

fleshwound_NPG

when in buffalo…

Doktor Zymm

Damar Hamlin sponsorship opportunity
comment image

Last edited 2 days ago by Doktor Zymm
Beerguyrob

I’ve had that! It’s a tasty product. Right on the edge of being one of those Oregon beers people use as a stereotype.

Unsurprised

I’ve been to their Newport brewery. It’s interesting. I’ve heard shitty things about them, but the beer is pretty good. I think. I haven’t have a Rogue in years.

Doktor Zymm

I also haven’t had it in ages, but I remember it being one of my favorite beers back in the day. There’s so many more options now and they have much wider distribution now so no idea how it would hold up nowadays.

Beerguyrob

Does Lamar have to go to the toilet? He dropped that ball like he had to grab a magazine before locking the door.

Gatoraids

Sorry Ms Jackson, turnovers are real

Unsurprised

/Andy Reid perks up

Unsurprised

Holy shit. That was wild.

Mr. Ayo

The change is sudden!

blaxabbath

No hands but Derrick Henry can run.

Beerguyrob

I’m still amazed that Damar Hamlin died in the field a couple of years ago, and yet he’s playing in this game.

blaxabbath

That was bullshit dying. You know what I want to see.

You knowing what I want to see.
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Last edited 2 days ago by blaxabbath
Unsurprised

Spoiler that shit. Jesus.

Unsurprised

Thanks

Gumbygirl

Tua thinking,” hmm, I could use a manicure!”

LemonJello

Right then, he’s probably thinking “purple monkey dishwasher” just less coherently.

Unsurprised

Talking about imposing your will and it’s against the Steelers? Weird.

Mr. Ayo

Stay out of this one, BLEEERGH

King Hippo

oh my cats we can haz PUNT???

Doktor Zymm

Since neither of these teams are the Chiefs will the terrible calls be randomly distributed?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yes but in ways that benefit the Chiefs somehow.

litre_cola

Sudden change.

LemonJello

SUDDEN. CHANGE.

Sharkbait

Is that what those are called nowadays?

Unsurprised

It’s more of a Utica expression

King Hippo

Track meet mode ENGAGED

Doktor Zymm

Cashed out $300 and freerolling the remaining $37.50

This morning $15 went to hedging my futures bet with Litre as a straight bet on Washington to win, so if the Iggles somehow lose the Conference game I’ll treat for a consolation drink

Beerguyrob

Ayahuasca shots for everyone!

King Hippo

Field goals get you three points closer to losing. – Bill Parcells, not being DAS RAYCESS for once

litre_cola

Fuck kickers forever.

King Hippo

Inshallah, homey

SonOfSpam

YOU DON’T GET TO BE ANGRY

litre_cola

I am overjoyed but Fuck Elliot with a rusty screwdriver. It should never have been that much of a nail biter.

LemonJello

Fuck it, Josh is going deep.

fleshwound_NPG

ravens as a home-field frontrunner? historically, disappoint in the playoffs

ravens if they have to go on the road for multiple rounds? super bowl team

King Hippo

All-Birds Owl? I could enjoy that.

Doktor Zymm

Iggles/Ravens is the YEAR OF THE RUNNINGBACK BOWL

One of the better narratives with the remaining teams

Sharkbait

I’m firmly “anyone but Kansas City”

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, any game with KC is narrative THREEPEAT which is the WORST narrative

King Hippo

I *think* I want the Ratbirds to win, but really do hope both squadrons have fun out there

Doktor Zymm

It’s kinda weird to see the Bills as home underdogs, even if it is only by 1 point

King Hippo

RITE?? Lamar! in the zone is just scary af, though. I wouldn’t bet against him. Nor Brokeback, really.

Doktor Zymm

comment image?v=1671510165&width=1946

I had no idea there was an Archbishop on the Ravens!

fleshwound_NPG

OOF.

Doktor Zymm

About the same temp there as in Chicago right now

Mr. Ayo

Time for the All Narrative Bowl!

Which will be rewritten with a loss to the Chefs next week.

Last edited 2 days ago by Mr. Ayo
King Hippo

We know we have incurred God’s wrath, for there is NO snow in WNY

Redshirt

We allowed Trump to return. Even the Antichrist will only be elected once, per mythology.

JustStopDude

Got to get pumped for this game!

https://youtu.be/BmtDZPyaVpc?si=zmtFIUmVKhuoE3_7

Let’s go!

Sharkbait

Damnit. My phone rendered the Critic video here instead.

Last edited 2 days ago by Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Chili was excellent. Also hit on my parlay, but with much less at stake. I hedged with one Saquon TD, should’ve done two.

Jimbo

Lamar loaded up on metamucil-he’s ready.

King Hippo

It’s hard to poop in cold this frigid, tho!

Gatoraids

the runs will be big this game

Unsurprised

Those peas were off. Undercooked? Under spiced? IDK.

I’m looking at recipes that will be fully of yummy peaness.

Unsurprised

God bless Maurice LaMarche and the writers of The Critic.

https://youtu.be/IH1PJTY9AVA

Unsurprised

I think that’s Phil Hartman using his Horst voice as the professor at the very beginning.

https://youtu.be/6i7ycxiog40

Sharkbait

I’m a simple man. I see a reference to The Critic, I +1

ballsofsteelandfury

The All-NFC East Championship game has to piss off Jerrah to no end.

Unsurprised

Well, at least we have that going for us

King Hippo

#ShamePizza on its way!

fleshwound_NPG

eagles vs commies next week

also in the world, eagles vs commies the next four years or so (it will not be close)

Unsurprised

comment image

fleshwound_NPG

philly/buffalo, the ultimate chaos super bowl, still on the table

philly/baltimore, the birds bowl, also still on the table!

Mr. Ayo

Go Birds

Beerguyrob

I’m going to assume two things:

– Kelly Stafford has Roger Goodell on speed dial

– Goodell has her blocked.

fleshwound_NPG
King Hippo

Scotchy rite (as usual), Captain Cook is likely the key to any Bills Mafia victory.

Beerguyrob

Unless he comes up against any Pacific Islanders.

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