Let’s not waste any time on an ill-thought-out preamble.
To The Game!
Eagles/Chiefs:
-Spags Alert!: The Chiefs have allowed but one 100 yard rusher this year. The bad news for Saquon? It was a QB by the name of Lamar! and it was waaay back in week one.
-Here’s some more bad news for Philly-Mahomes is 8-0 vs Fangio defenses. However, this is the first time in his playoff career that he’s playing against a #1 ranked unit.
-Though Hurts went for 246 two weeks ago, in the other two games he threw for less than 146 yards.
-Much has been made of K.C. having won 17 straight one score games but the Eagles have been tested and their record this year in those games is 9-2.
-Jake Elliot being 1 of 8 from 50+ yards is going to affect Sirianni’s decision-making. Will Philly fans be cognizant of this should a choice fizzle? You know the answer.
-During these playoffs the Eagles D has forced 10 turnovers and they have not turned the ball over yet. As a matter of fact, Hurts hasn’t thrown an INT since November 10th.
-Sirianni is the only coach to reach the playoffs and go to two Super Bowls in his first four years. (I thought Seifert might have done so but he missed the playoffs in his third year with a 10-6 record and won his 2nd Super Bowl in his fifth year. Btw, does anyone remember him coaching Carolina?)
-As you may have guessed, Patty’s QBR is 10 points higher in the postseason.
-Potential wide receiver surprises today? I’ll take D-Hop, who has only one catch so far. He’s a proven guy and Reid has a habit of going to an unlikely source at an important time. On the other side Devonta Smith will not attract much attention-he could erupt.
-Reid is 33-7 with two weeks to prepare for a game.
-Though the best part of his game is scrambles and designed runs, Hurts led all QB’s in completion percentage over expectation this season. (+7%)
-Should they win, the Chiefs +59 point differential (to this point in the season) would be the 4th-lowest of any Super Bowl victor. It pains me to say it but should that happen, it would be Andy’s (and Spags!) best coaching job ever.
Get in here and do your thing. And you folks we haven’t seen in some time, please do drop by and say hello. We’d love to see you!
I don’t know if it’s ever been more over for anyone in all of human history than it is for Drake right now.
Fuck Drake. He’s soooooooooo overplayed in these parts.
In case the link doesn’t work I clipped the picture.
https://x.com/artbutsports/status/1888755975202439386?s=46&t=PW7uhN0VcbqYk6td-CFrLA
Can only hope action picks up a Greg Olsen has butchered TB13 during halftime and is wearing his face like Leatherface in 2nd half
Who knew that strawberries and tomatoes are all that stands between humanity and becoming skull people?
My favorite part was the heartfelt tribute to certified loverboy Donald Trump.
Wait the last 10 seconds of the Kendrick set sampled THE BLACK HOLE. WTF.
love t recommend that as a disney 80s movie that isnt for todays kids
Not watching the Halftime Show to keep the streak alive (1998 and counting!). My paralyzed, Conservative, old-fashioned dad however currently is forced to watch the show. I consider this equitable punishment for voting for Trump and subjecting me to Fox News on a daily basis.
Punishment more than fits the crime.
I have a long streak of doing dishes at halftiime that I’ll count as still alive.
Make the SAP button stick on his TV and then maybe it’s approaching equitable
On the one hand, he has ALS so he’s suffering enough. On the other hand, he said JD Vance would be a great President after Trump.
Stupid Caretaker ideals!
You’re a saint.
But Trump is Christ. So you’re still wrong.
“Why does Kendrick have an Amazon A necklace?”
Oh White people.
Can someone under 40 explain this halftime show to me, please?
I’m 36 tomorrow and I cannot.
You’re just a pup!
Lady Commander would disagree with that statement.
It’s every Negro stereotype set to music.
Ted Dibiase Million Dollar Man Theme
I’ll get my daughter to bring me up to speed the next time I see her.
Okay so I’m 39 and this is the best rapper in the world. He got a lot of heat this summer by releasing five tracks in 48 hours about how his biggest rival is a pedophile (probably true?). He’s currently the Democratic frontrunner for president in 2028.
Inspired by the lava commercial
I like Kendrick, but this concert sucks. Can he hurry up and call Drake a pedophile
Doing it now.
Please say Fuck Trump, Kendrick.
I’ll buy your fucking T- shirt.
I will get a Spotify account just to listen to him
closest came was people want a revolution but picked the wrong guy
Welp, all that’s left is to see if Kendrick murders Drake on live TV.
CLOWN CAR GNX
LET’S GOOOOOOO
Taylor Swift is in the Chiefs locker room screaming at Kelce and the team about how they are making her look bad. I sense another smash hit record coming soon.
Called…. dropped the ball?
And now, our next salvo in Operation Piss Off Canada: Kendrick Lamar
He should only perform songs that shit on Drake
These Capital One commercials are getting out of control.
Wings are done
Yee!
Guys, the Brits don’t know why you’re serving flats
MOAR fat = MOAR flavor, ye limey bastards!!
Are Brit wings boiled?
No mushy
They tasted broiled but hard to tell, they may have finished in a frying pan
Save me th3 one at 11:00
A young lass is shushing the bar so she can hear the halftime show. Let’s see how that works out for her.
It’s a good life when eldest granddaughter appreciates a nice pinot grigio.
Relax, she’s 20.
“Quickly, to the locker room, my entourage! Travis needs an extra toothy blow job for power!”
But who is giving the B.J.?
Cris Collinsworth
Well, Al, I learned from the best. Thank you!
-CC
In Washington DC I just saw a commercial for Ontario Canada.
There’s a lot to unpack here.
Fuck Doug Ford
They know their target demo for relo
That was a td, if Hopkins hadn’t dropped it. Damn shame [Narrator: It wasn’t a damn shame]
Hurts wants to go listen to Kendrick.
Fuck you Brady. Kneel down my ass.
Honestly I feel mahomes’s team is letting him down more than anything else
Narrative won’t see it that way though
So this is a Chiefs game without ShieldAssist. Nice.
“ShieldAssist – brought to you by Progressive. Go with the Flo.”
Their free trial ended after the first Eagles possession.
I can’t decide whether or not I like Landman. But sticking with it at least until the lady attorney gets nekkid with teh Billy Bob. He deserves it for putting up with his yeeeehhhhhaaaawwwww ex-wife and daughter.
It was solid. Nothing special but Billy Bob did a great job.
Him and Jon Hamm both brilliant casting. Neither ever mails it in.
There’s also lots of scenery.
Philly has a guy reading a book on the sidelines, and have a choose love sticker on their helmet? Trump is making a call to end this woke shit
KC’s Offensive Line is entering Bengals territory.
Trust me. I’m not ignoring titties.
My wife works for Novartis (if you noticed their tiny logo in the lower right) Turns out they’ve only cured one type of breast cancer. Losers
(phone call at halftime)
Kelsi: “Well, at least I still have you in my life.”
Swift: “New phone. Who this?”
Peyton Manning looked like he was 50 years old when he was 25 and he’s going to look like he’s 50 years old when he’s 65 and meanwhile Tom Brady looks like he’s on the Bryan Johnson Plan.
I wonder how much of his kids’ piss he’s drank over the years.
Brady has been gotten plastic surgery multiple times but naturally he never gets called out on it
Hes got that Arianna Grande skeletal energy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3gUVvg2eQU&pp=ygUNem9pZGJlcmcgbW9yZQ%3D%3D
Well
To everyone who thinks (or is betting) that the Eagles have this wrapped up:
These are The Philadelphia Eagles.
They use their talons snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. They always do.
You’re thinking of the Democratic party
There’s your 24, Zymm!
Go for 2,
Make it a 25 point lead
It’s safe – there isn’t a Shanahan in sight.
I wouldn’t be sure.
Mike has like 8 kids
Carson Wentz with that “I might see the field!” smirk.
KC forgot to enter the Konami Code.
Up-Up-Down-Down-Fuck-Fuck!
A field goal and Boris steals Spam’s money….
And Tracy takes it, pending a sudden change before halftime.
FUCK YOU, TRACY, START COMMENTING OR GTFO
Game. Blouses.
Go Birds.
Oh my God, hook it to my veins!
Guys. This is so good I fear Atlanta but fuck me I am walking to the bandana section
Nick Sirianni is being played by Jake Gyllenhaal
Well at least Mahomes has a horrible wife to go home to
This is my banner this far
We call her “Drunky.”
Oh my god.
What sweet heaven is this?
Whoever made the Doritos Bold “I won’t apologize” ad I just saw is the first phalanx of the secessionist Fifth Column.