It is emphatically NOT time for the 2025 NFL Draft. It is more than 3 WEEKS until the fucking 2025 NFL fucking Draft. TOO LONG.

Listen: the GMs aren’t going to get any smarter between now and the end of April. No Pro Day is going to demonstrate some new and hitherto undiscovered aspect to a player’s game.There is no reason to belabor this process any further.

In its own way, this is almost as bad as the Great July Sports Desert. It’s bad enough when there is nothing to talk about. This period has little to discuss and yet EVERYONE WON’T SHUT THE FUCK UP. This is the least compelling draft class since about 2013 (as a reminder- Eric Fisher #1, EJ Manuel first QB). Sure it’s a “deep” class at a lot of positions, but all that means is that the tenth defensive tackle off the board has about the same chance of being a star as the first. Just throw the darts at the board and be done with it!

I am fucking sick of hearing about Aaron Rodgers edging Art Rooney II until he begs.

I don’t care that the Jets “believe” in Justin Fields as a starter.

I could not give two shits about Jed York blaming Brock Purdy for clear-cutting the roster in order to afford the contract YOU HAVEN’T EVEN GIVEN HIM YET.

And I could not- let me be very clear- give even a quarter of a shit which side of the ball Travis Hunter ends up playing on. Cleveland is going to draft him, and once you’re exiled to #hardland, it’s game-over. Prisoner or guard, you’re still trapped in a Siberian gulag freezing your blinis off waiting for the sweet release of death.

NFL NEWS:

Rejoice, fellow law brethren (and sistren)- it’s New Rules Day from the owners meetings! More shit for us to argue and grouse about, as feeds our blackened souls.

-The Tush Push Ban recorded a solid 50% of the vote, which is not enough to make it a rule, so it was tabled. The remainder of the NFC East has until the May owners meeting to whip up some votes.

Side note: I believe that not only should the Brotherly Shove be legal, but that you should be able to assist your teammate in advancing in almost any way, up to and including one guy throwing the ball carrier bodily into the endzone.

-Kickoffs continue to be tweaked, with a touchback now bringing the ball out to the 35 instead of the 30.

-Replay officials may now reverse penalty calls on a variety of infractions, including horse-collars, face-masks, roughing the kicker, honking on bobo, and gleaming the cube.

-Brick Johnson has been appointed Head of NFLPA Finance, with immediate access to all player pension and welfare funds.

WHAT TO READ TONIGHT:

Almost anything by John Scalzi. He came to our little town last week in support of his new book (When the Moon Hits Your Eye) and was both delightful and very funny. Not all of his stuff is gold (Kaiju Preservation Society was meh) but I have never regretted time or money spent on one of his works. Suggested starting points:

Old Man’s War (Starship Troopers but funny)

Redshirts (wanders a bit toward the end, but introduces the philosophical concept of The Narrative, which resonates with my Bills fan soul)

Android’s Dream (First line is “Dirk Moeller didn’t know if he could fart his way into a major diplomatic incident. But he was ready to find out.”)