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AFL Beat 2025 – Round 5 Recap!

ballsofsteelandfury

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This week, we have only two undefeated teams left, only two winless teams, and a whole lotta uncertainty in the middle. Let’s get to it!

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The AFL Ladder

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The AFL Round 5 Results

The AFL Round 5 Highlights

AFL Round 6 Schedule

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AFL Footy Tipping Contest Results

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Notes and Comments

There were a few surprises this week. Adelaide lost a very good game to Geelong at home. Yes, it was the Gather Round, but it was held in Adelaide.

That may help to explain how Port Adelaide beat the previously unbeaten Hawks. At least someone thought it was a good idea to play at home.

St. Kilda lost to GWS and while the naysayers (curiously mostly in their fan base) may say that reflects their true status as a middle of the ladder club, I still think they’re headed to better things this year. Ironically, they’re currently in 9th place out of 18 teams.

What up with Gold Coast? They, like St. Kilda, have looked really good and have a veteran coach at the helm. How far can they go?

Next week we get 9 games again with the traditional Easter Monday clash between Geelong and Hawthorn. Can someone fill me in on exactly what Easter Monday is? I’m pretty sure it’s not a Catholic thing or I would know.

Spammy suffered a rare off-week and there are now three contenders ahead of him. Sharkbait continues to lead the comp with me and Litre at his heels.

If you are a member of an AFL club or you got a Watch AFL membership, you should be able to watch every AFL and AFLW game, including replays. Game times vary between Australian afternoon and evening, which actually makes it easier for us in North America to watch as the games can be seeing in the evenings on Pacific Time and early mornings on Eastern time.

If you haven’t become a member of a club or signed up for the Watch AFL app, you can still watch the AFL and AFLW games in the USA on either FS1 or FS2 and in Canada on TSN. Showtimes can be found here on the Australian Football Association of North America website. But I do recommend that you join a club. It’s fun and they send you free shit.

See you next week!

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Horatio Cornblower

/runs through clubhouse with stolen Arsenal flag tied around neck like a cape
//forgets to cover wing-wang

Ah. Well. This is awkward.

7
ArmedandHammered

Owner of tavern upon seeing the win -“I hope who ever took a fuckin flag is happy about now!”

3
ballsofsteelandfury

That was beautiful

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Horatio Cornblower

I enjoyed it immensely

2
Horatio Cornblower

I don’t know who Arsenal plays in the Premier this weekend, but I’d bet the house on them.

2
Horatio Cornblower

That’ll do Real Madrid.

That’ll do.

2
Horatio Cornblower

I’m watching this game on Univision and brushing up on my Spanish.

So far I’ve learned that “Arsenal” means Arsenal.

2
ArmedandHammered

Oh, one more good thing about the weigh loss and getting the blood sugar down – my eye sight has significantly improved. So I was going to need new glasses anyway.

4
Horatio Cornblower

It’s very considerate of our system to once again shit the bed just in time for the second half.

5
ArmedandHammered

Crystal Palace, more like Crystal Meth Palace, loosing 5-0 with 30 minutes plus yet to play.

3
ballsofsteelandfury

Horatio, did you see the missed penalty?

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Horatio Cornblower

No, but I’ve seen the replay.

grim

2
Horatio Cornblower

7 minutes of extra time at the half?

I got here late, what atrocity did I miss?

2
Mr. Ayo

The 5 minute VAR for hugging Mbappe

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Horatio Cornblower

Missed that.

What, Mbappe isn’t deserving of hugs?

2
ArmedandHammered

Ask his masseuse.

3
Horatio Cornblower

I’m looking forward to the 72 minutes of extra time being added to this game

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Woo hoo Essendon! Climbing out of the basement!

Thanks very much for the recommendation of Leoness; we had a really nice visit.

2
Gumbygirl

Oh good! It’s really pretty there.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Jesus, Arsenal!

Goddam you suck!

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Horatio Cornblower

They’re definitely playing a prevent defense.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Okay, I’m at work and I’ve got Univision on the TV showing Real Madrid against Arsenal. Arsenal have a 3-0 lead from the first leg.

The question is: How many different ways will Arsenal blow this?

1
SonOfSpam

Since you’re watching Univision, here’s a tip: “pelota” means “vagina”

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Pronounced like Regina

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Mr. Ayo

Saka leads with the first way

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Horatio Cornblower

comment imagev

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Horatio Cornblower

Oh, they’ll have help from the officials, have no doubt about that.

Saka blowing a PK had to up there as well.

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ArmedandHammered

Afternoon/Good Morning to you all. Went to the eye doc today and forgot my sunglasses, so when I walked out directly into the bright sunshine with my fully dilated pupils. Ah, I now fully understand how a flash bang will completely disorient you. I had to find a shadowy spot to get an uber. I hope your day is fairing better.

4
2Pack

They didn’t offer you those cardboard shades? Need a new HMO Brah.

2
SonOfSpam

Cracking up thinking about an Italian optometrist.

“WHATTSAMATTA YOU NO SEE SO GOOD EH? YOU BREAKIN YOU MAMMA’S HEART. HERE, TAKE-A THESE CARDBOARD GLASSES AND FINISH YOU RISOTTO LIKE A GOOD BOY”

7
BugEyedBoo

I did that a while back. I was expecting the cardboard shades 2Pack mentioned, and they were out of them. I had to sit in the car and wait for my wife and daughter to come fetch me and my car.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I have learned to keep multiple pairs of backup sunglasses in the car at all times.

1
ArmedandHammered

I had to take uber as my car has decided that it does not want to contain any active electrons at all.

1
Gatoraids

ZZ Top approves this message

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKKJV0Aiiv0

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Gatoraids

ooof, feel little better about spending the extra 30 for them to use the new machine that didn’t require dilation when they gave me the option. also got to see clear pictures of the inside of my eye

2
ArmedandHammered

I had to do both, diabetes – the gift that keeps on giving

1
Gumbygirl

That happened to me when I was a kid, after the appointment my dad was speed walking up the street on a snowy day, and I was wandering into traffic like Helen Keller.

3
BugEyedBoo

Last night’s MIL comedy. We’re giving MIL her pills, both day and night, now.

MIL: What pill is this? (shows pill)
Spouse: That’s your Prevagen.
Me: It works, alright!

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SonOfSpam

I’d pronounce it pre-VAJ-in because I’m like 11

Last edited 1 year ago by SonOfSpam
2
Gatoraids

keep checking to see if its not Hippo in drag

1
BugEyedBoo

He would be severely disappointed, assuming he makes it to the next day.

0
scotchnaut

It’s about goddamn time, America.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnETYYdy_8Q

4
Horatio Cornblower

This is like a Sunday Gravy where we all stayed up Saturday night doing meth.

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Horatio Cornblower

https://gizmodo.com/tesla-stock-price-reaches-death-cross-status-2000589799

I would laugh harder than I did when Rush Limbaugh died, and I literally took a half day from work so I could keep watching the news and laughing when that happened.

Tesla will, of course, continue, because too many people, for some reason, have too much money wrapped up in a company that makes exploding cars, but this is still nice.

5
Gatoraids

Good Wednesday when Teslur when put on the death cross

1
Gatoraids

one of many death crosses thank to our glorious policies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAYNAGLyYUw

2
BugEyedBoo

I typed TLSA instead of TSLA, and got a price of 0.89 a share. Fuck yeah! Wait a minute…

2
SonOfSpam

About to join the Christopher Moore cult that started here.

“Fool” is $1.99 for Kindle today.

5
ballsofsteelandfury

OMG, dude. You are going to love him!

1
King Hippo

1) He has a limit, at least to me. One of those authors who repeats mostly the same formula, in different background contexts.

2) I didn’t enjoy “Lamb” at all, gave up on it about halfway through. Dok said “Fluke” was here fave, and I very much agree. That was an excellent story.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

I wouldn’t say formula, I’d say style.

Lamb was good but not my favourite. I really really dig the Vampires in San Francisco series, the Merchants of Death series, and the Noir series.

Maybe I just like his depictions of San Francisco. They’re very realistic.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Fluke was a lovely story.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve been spacing them out rather than bingeing.

0
Gumbygirl

I loved Fluke too.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

One other thing: I cannot vouch for the audiobook experience. I don’t know if that’s what you’re choosing or not. I prefer reading the words myself.

1
SonOfSpam

Same, haven’t done any Audiobooks yet. I think I’d get impatient.

1
Gatoraids

for gamers you can find the horrifying amount you have spent on pc games and steam over the years. still probably cheaper then warhammer

https://www.pcgamer.com/games/steam-total-account-spend/

0
BugEyedBoo

I’ve been spending entirely too much money on Stellaris, where “about $50” is too much money.

I got drunk one night and bought “Timberborn”. Town builder sim, but with beavers instead of humans. Maybe my subconscious thinks I didn’t get enough one-night stands at closing time 40+ years ago, and wants to make up for it by buying stupid PC games.

1
ArmedandHammered

I do love Timberborn, I get sad when I screw up and they all start dying…. Just like a convent – so many dead, dried out beavers.

4
BugEyedBoo

I want to like stuff like that. Dwarf Fortress, Anno xxxx, etc. I think Dr. Z was talking up Anno 1800 and I bought it in a Steam sale. Played it a couple of days, and was perfectly fine. But about then I started wanting to shoot something.

Exception: train games. I’ll play any train game. And I don’t know why, but I really like Stellaris. Maybe because it’s similar to Civ, in space!

And my coworkers talked up stuff like Valgrind and Ark: Survival Evolved to me so well that I ended up with a copy of each. Valgrind I sort of liked, until a friend showed me his world. I was sleeping in a lean-to next to my smelter, and he had a place that looked like The Breakers. “Ah, fuck this, I’m going to go kill people in CP2077. I’m actually pretty good at that.”

1
Gatoraids

There a good game called the Riftbreaker that combines base building , exploration and shooting very well.

1
Gumbygirl

Oh my God, lol! That’s the kind of nun joke Gumby would threaten to send to my 90 year old aunt, Sister Patrice.

1
yeah right

There we were in a Tim Hortons having a breakfast sandwich when Bryan Adams started playing.

Well, it sure as shit is official now.

11
ballsofsteelandfury

If you didn’t have sexy times while this song was playing, you missed out on the 90s…

1
Horatio Cornblower

Oh my god that song was in heavy rotation in college.

1
King Hippo

I know I actually did manage at least one time to this (I had quite the thing for quasi-hipster alternative gals, rarely but not NEVAR reciprocated):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F9DxYhqmKw

2
BugEyedBoo

But…I don’t want Bryan Adams!

1
Gumbygirl

That Cuts Like a Knife. No poutine for you!

1
LemonJello

Was it live? Seems like he’s hit on hard times if it was live.

3
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

At the Jay’s game with yeah right and DJ Taz

comment image

5
ArmedandHammered

Have you talked to anyone there yet about how the Blue Jays win/loss record affects the Leaf’s play off run?

2
ArmedandHammered

I have the game on the TV, haven’t seen you yet.

1
Gumbygirl

I don’t know what Easter Monday is either, but we always had that day off school. Maybe it’s the secular/government Easter Holiday?

1
King Hippo

I always thought it was for families coming back from Easter Sunday travel. But the MOAR JEEBUS day to take off is Good Friday. My firm ain’t even open Good Friday,

1
SonOfSpam

And on Good Friday we’re supposed to be quietly reflective from noon to 3 PM since that’s the time Jesus spent on the cross. We are still allowed to contribute songs to Rikki’s DJ3000 post. Cool pope said so.

2
King Hippo

How many times does Kewl Pope (not to be confused with Taj’ Kewpie Pope) recommend we listen to this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRf3EMSb8oI

0
SonOfSpam

WHY? indeed

0
Gumbygirl

We had to spend that three hours on our knees in church, saying the rosary while the priest and altar boys paraded around the church doing a weird stations of the cross ritual, when I was in Catholic grade school.

1
WCS

Fyre Fest 2 finally has it’s first, confirmed performer: AB.

https://www.billboard.com/music/rb-hip-hop/antonio-brown-performing-fyre-fest-2-1235918155/

5
Gumbygirl

I’m kind of amazed he’s still alive.

2
WCS

https://www.cameo.com/pyrtbilly

0
Jimbo

What can Brown do for you.

0
ArmedandHammered

multiple concussions and a lawsuit

1
Gatoraids

My Fyre Fest 2 request is DJ Najeh Davenport because you know its going to be a shit show

7
Horatio Cornblower

You know, we could use a new banner…

2
SonOfSpam

Yale COULD USE an international airport.

4
Horatio Cornblower

They already have Tweed International in New Haven.

I think Puerto Rico and Canada are the international parts.

1
King Hippo

Carlton Dance Meter – RISING

4
BrettFavresColonoscopy

St. Kilda didn’t lose to GWS, GWS beat the crap out of St. Kilda.

2
Doktor Zymm

Why don’t you believe in the averagosity of St Kilda? They are the tapioca of the AFL

Last edited 1 year ago by Doktor Zymm
4
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Let’s not go krazy with the favours, now.
-Joe Flaco

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