Closing Out teh Futbol Season – In Shempy Style

The sportsball desert of June/July beckons.  But first, we get one last event of consequence – a tasty Shempions final between Inter and PSG.  That’s right – NOBODY from the Prem nor La Liga for a change.  Heck, PSG have NEVAR won this competition.  Inter have won it quite frequently, but recent vintage sides (including this one) are competing with a fraction of the resources deployed by footy’s elite (even the likes of Zooropa NIT champions Chelsea).

You also have sommet I really like, from an aesthetic POV – very good, progressive midfields.  This is consistent with how Bernard Gilkey builds his Pretend Man City squadrons.  Makes for a game with better flow and more watchable for the neutral.

Which I guess I am?  Post-Mbappe, PSG isn’t really the big baddie like they once were.  But I suspect I will still root for the Eye Ties, after their spirited performance against Barca in the Very Raging Semis.

Anyway, the match is on Big CBS at 3p EST, with pre-match coverage starting 90 minutes beforehand.  Enjoy, and discuss what y’all may in the comments.

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Horatio Cornblower

What does Inter need to do to succeed in the second half?

Well, I’m no soccer-genius type, but I’d say at least 3 goals.

scotchnaut

Worst strategy ever across sports?

The left wing lock in hockey. Scotty Bowman employed it vs the Soviets to escape with a 3-3 tie on New Years Eve in 1976. Jacques Lemaire tried to destroy the game with the same strategy with Brodeur in net. Is there a more unwatchable stretch of hockey that you’ve seen in your lifetime? The answer is ‘No”.

Horatio Cornblower

Jacques Lemaire should be tried in The Hague for that.

scotchnaut

I can’t stress enough that Ken Dryden was a shitty goalie when he faced top flight competition. In the game mentioned above he let in 3 goals on 13 shots. The first time he played against them in 1972 he let in 7 goals.

Don T

Live at Inter Milan’s dressing room
https://youtu.be/WMSj0E-ngLo?si=YNPNHgRfxOTY6Eon

Don T

I see we’re doing too cool for school tunes. This is the smooth-est
https://youtu.be/nN_DjjDsfYY?si=kIm9CllILmPhOhW_

Mr. Ayo
litre_cola

This will turn into a nap.game real quick

scotchnaut
scotchnaut

Is this game over already? Fuck sakes…

Mr. Ayo

You won’t believe what happens next!

game ends 2-nil

Oh, you did believe that? Good on you I guess.

blaxabbath

I just turned on this soccer game. It seems like the yellow team is just happy to have escaped whoever in the semifinals.

2Pack

OK… Time to start checking in on the titty flicks here…

2Pack

Can’t go wrong with some old Skool Maria Schneider…

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2Pack

And she’s been prancing around bra less for the first 15 minutes…

scotchnaut

“If only I could be as ‘cool’ as the Velvet Underground!” [laughs]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hn5FCq4ghvE&ab_channel=Santoszzz

scotchnaut

Whoa, whoa-livin’ on zero likes. Take my hand, I’ll be popular I swear! Whoa, whoa. Livin’ on a submarine like anyone cares… Livin’ on a submarine…

SonOfSpam

Holy shit, Doue is only 19?

(Paul Hardcastle grins knowingly)

litre_cola

Eye-ties sliced open there. PSG is so less evil than they used to be.

Mr. Ayo

Those bananas got split properly.

Brick Meathook

Important information:

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2Pack

Sure is making them slip up in front of the net…

Mr. Ayo

Yeah, figured they were as done when I saw that.

Mr. Ayo

Did Kate lose her job to Anita?

Mr. Ayo

That makes more sense. She just signed a new 4 year contract last year.

Mr. Ayo
scotchnaut

“People crap on Linkin Park but I prefer them so much more than Black Neighborhood Playground.”

-Robert Moses

Horatio Cornblower

You know this place is chock full of nerds when someone makes a Robert Moses joke and at least 3 people get it.

scotchnaut

I prefer “well read” but I’m sure as hell not going to get fussy.

Doktor Zymm

Super hot out today. Lucky for me my horse slobbered on me enough to create a sort of gross air conditioning

SonOfSpam

-John Elway’s wife

WCS

So, this hasn’t even started yet?

There’s no way I’m making it to the final whistle.

Brick Meathook

Remarkably accurate:

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WCS

Like if Rosie O’Donnell and Kim Jung-il spawned with each other.

2Pack

They went with a neutral white on the stadium. I thought they might go with red and blue. That place is pretty cool lit up. I’ve passed it on the Autobahn a few times during games.

SonOfSpam

(Norm McDonald voice) Germans love Linkin Park.

Brick Meathook

(Norm Macdonald voice)

The Germans decided to go to war against . . . the world.

Twice.

Horatio Cornblower

(Norm McDonald voice)

Germans love David Hasselhoff

Mr. Ayo

Linkin Park? They couldn’t do any better?

2Pack

Falco passed away a few years back Bro…

SonOfSpam

This is in Munch. Is Hasselhoff not well?

2Pack

Can’t go wrong with the Hoff…

Mr. Ayo

Velvet Underground wasn’t available? What’s going on here?

SonOfSpam

Hey it’s Linkin Park! Without Chester for some reason!

2Pack

Ready, set, go…

EpZo4ITXIAEP-7c
2Pack

Lynkin Park is pretty cool for opening.

scotchnaut

“I’ll never get ‘tired’ of looking at her! Get it?”

-Ayo

scotchnaut

Why are you making these tired jokes Ayo? Geez…

Mr. Ayo

Lotta tread left on this joke, folks.

Horatio Cornblower

They’ll never fall flat, that’s for sure.

2Pack

I see what you did there

Horatio Cornblower

Stay out of my house.

Brick Meathook

I’m not usually out in the sticks so that shouldn’t be a problem. God Bless.

Horatio Cornblower

Watching ‘Starship Troopers’ and Johnny not hooking up with Diz because of Carmen is an all-time mistake.

scotchnaut

“One of the few movie shower scenes I’ve seen where no one drops the soap. I’m told it’s satire, but still..”

-Buddy Cole, movie reviewer

Brick Meathook

I did the VFX on that movie. After looping shots a thousand times each I began to detest looking at Denise Richards stupid face.

Horatio Cornblower

Wow, I just watched her scenes and reached the same result.

SonOfSpam

I’m rooting for the Frogs today. Can’t believe this’d be their first.

Brick Meathook

8 Down is “THATGUY”

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SonOfSpam

Do it in pen, coward.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s how I do mine.

Which is why each finished version is barely legible and could be anything.

SonOfSpam

I haven’t done a non-computer crossword in…10 years? 15?

That says something, but I’m not sure it’s anything important.

Brick Meathook

I used to do the NY Times crossword in pen, but now I do them on my iPad.

IMG_0714
scotchnaut

It drives my wife nuts when I do crosswords in pen.

Why do you not trust my superior intellect, woman!?”*

*is the thing that I say in my head when she goes to the bathroom

scotchnaut

Was really hoping to do my first swim of the year on the last day of May but it’s 13 degrees Celsius and there are small whitecaps on the lake. I don’t think that the ball shrinkage could ever recover.

WCS
scotchnaut

Does he rape the popsicle?

2Pack

Diddy Hocking facial cream… Who knew…
and when did they know…

scotchnaut

Thinking back to when Ryan Reynolds convinced Sandra Bullock to make a movie in Sitka Alaska and ended up marrying her in The Proposal. He played the long game and he played it well.

rockingdog

In random news:

Are you telling us that the President of the United States is refusing regular briefings about threats to the country so his minions are creating a briefing TV show just for him?

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/national-security/gabbard-considering-ways-revamp-trumps-intelligence-briefing-rcna209805

oh my god what if the CIA ends up contracting mr beast to train their field agents on how to maximize engagement for their presidential daily briefing youtube shorts.

IMG_2723
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Tell me you’re not fit for that office without telling me you’re not fit for office
/6’4″ 225lbs

scotchnaut

I mean, what would you do with the conundrum of a boss that only wants to be shown events in the world on a “here and there” basis? You have to have something ready.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Do you think that Mason Rudolph is just going to start slinging the n-word around with impunity now that he’s in tight with these shitbags?

scotchnaut

Odds are that he’ll hit the target just over 50% of the time.

WCS
Unsurprised

I got to the airport way way too fucking early.

The airport does look a lot different now after what seems like a million years of construction. So that’s nice.

Then I got a big ass breakfast sandwich, which was fine but then I ate the whole thing like a piggy. So today has already been a series of dumb decisions and it’s not even 10 AM.

Unsurprised

Oh cool. Gate checking the bag. This will be fine.

2Pack

Narrator – it will not be cool…

2Pack

Airport food > airline food

scotchnaut

“May I offer you some soothing music for your journey during this difficult time?”

-Brian Eno

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNwYtllyt3Q&ab_channel=MethadoneMethadone

Last edited 10 months ago by scotchnaut
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Dr. Mrs. drives me crazy on vacations because she’ll blow through a museum in forty-five minutes but wants to show up at the airport four hours early.

2Pack

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WCS

I don’t get it, but that’s normal for the Babylon Bee.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They’re doing the same thing they always do; making fun of an out-group. Indigenous Americans, in this case.

2Pack
Doktor Zymm

On the small road I take to get to the farm where I ride, one of the homes along the way is offering “HAWG”
It looked like they were stacking firewood when I drove by, maybe a pig roast? Or setting a Harley on fire?

2Pack

Beats me… I don’t speak jive…

scotchnaut

“Hot Agricultural Women Gangbang” is my best guess.

Senor Weaselo

I think that’s called FarmersOnly.

/I obv would not know

yeah right

That’s a barbecue thing. If they have cartoon pigs on display then you have to try the ribs.

scotchnaut

Question. How do you roast a cartoon pig without it burning?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Cartoon fire, duh.

scotchnaut

Cartoon fires don’t ignite themselves, Rikki! They require cartoon matches!

Horatio Cornblower

Well, first you kill the cartoon pig by having an anvil drop out of the sky and hit it on the head…

scotchnaut

/looking at mustard green recipes on YoobToob

-Guy uses shit ton of bacon grease to fry the greens

Comment: “So nice to see someone showing off the healthy side of southern cooking!”

/I don’t think it was sarcastic

Don T

Sounds tasty! Maybe as tasty as my recipe for Cholesterol Kale.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I first read that as “Cholesterol Kate” and was wondering how a young woman would end up having such nickname bestowed upon her.

WCS

That’s scotchy’s nickname for another “hunter” who happens to be overweight, but is every bit as lethal as the rest of “the crew.”

blaxabbath

Mustard is yellow.

scotchnaut

“And mellow.”

-Donovan

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Sometimes golden brown though.” – The Stranglers

yeah right

Grandmommy made “Pot liquor” which was green beans, onion, potato and a lot of bacon and bacon fat slow cooked for hours.

Delicious.

Horatio Cornblower

The Irish also make pot liquor, which is something completely different.

WCS

My knee has already been giving me shit all day yesterday, all night, and now well into this morning. I’m also clearly sick; listening to meself on playback confirms what I already suspected. I sound ill, and not the fun, possibly dangerous kind.

Am I burning a sick day tonight?

Doktor Zymm

If you’re sick then you should take a sick day. That’s just logical

2Pack

Rest Buddy. See how you feel after a pure restful 24 hours. Maybe take a Motrin while you do that to address the knee.

Doktor Zymm

This probably should have been on sexy Friday, but I was on a boat.

A clandestine view at where bananacakes come from:

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Doktor Zymm

Good morning y’all!

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WCS
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I didn’t realize that someone (Internet Dad, I assume?) had ported all the KSK Kommenters on the side stuff into doorfliesopen.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Shit, that means we’ve got our ten year anniversary coming up in less than three weeks on June 18!

Don T

3 PM eh? I might just make it to watch the Final. Only gotta move earlier the lunch with Madre. The Wife is also coming. We renewed our vows* in March, if you must know.

* joint Sam’s Club membership

Brick Meathook

I am so there:

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Jimbo

Getting ready to head out fishing, hopefully I catch more than just a sunburn.

WCS

The flu?

Jimbo

Its a full boat is what I was told so maybe.

Don T

Old boot sashimi yeah!

Senor Weaselo

Get some shoe Bailey’s. It’s creamy.

2Pack

Stopped by a XIV century Barnes and Noble today…

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Horatio Cornblower

I’ve seen ‘The Ninth Gate’; this isn’t going to end well.

2Pack

I think even Marika will pull for Inter tonight (or today over by use…)

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Mr. Ayo

I got something she can pull

scotchnaut

/excerpt from “Summer School Teachers” 1975 rated R

Girl: “Why do we have to do this exercise?”

Teacher: “It builds fat behinds.”

Girl: “Oh, okay.”

2Pack

I love the honest discussion

BeefReeferLives

Teacher knows where it’s at.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjC0vMIrOAk

WCS

I’ll just migrate over here then.

Who’s ready for more? Well, TS, because I’m still here, and still typing.

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