I learn so many interesting things from my trans-Atlantic imaginary frenemies (ie, NSNO – the Everton message board), but this is the tidbit that might have finally broken me beyond reason. Kashyap Patel is apparently a Redshite supporter. NOW, do you believe me about this…monstrosity masquerading as a football club being the font of all that is evil?
Merseyside Derby is this morning, bright and early (7:30, USA). I’m already furious as I write this (Wednesday evening),
Brighton and Spurs highlight the 10:00 window, but is streaming-only. The telly brings one Palace/Rum Ham (USA). Meh. USA also has an afternoon doubleheader (ie, no true Spotlight Dance), with Men Untied/Ckelski (12:30) followed by Mighty Whitey in a neighboUrhood clash with Praise Beesus (3:00).
Sunday’s triple header ends with the much-anticipated City of Men/King’s Afrikan Water Pistols clash (11:30, Peacock). I wish I had MOAR to say by way of preview…but again. BORKEN.
Guns Up!! (+3.5) at Team Secular Big Love (Noon, Fox)
Very interesting matchup between two perpetually interesting (but never quite over-the-hump) programs. Winner has the inside track on meeting Cornpone State in the Twaaaaallllllvvvvve championship game.
Pig Sooey (-7.5) at Fightin’ Mister Pickles (Noon, ABC)
Arkansas gave Johnny Reb a fight last Saturday, but methinks they blew their load and will be ripe for the picking here. Will we get a new Mister Pickle drawing from the game??
SMU (+6.5) at Blood FOAR teh Bloodeyes God (Noon, ESPN2)
Games between the “minor” Texas squadrons are always interesting. Lots and lots of offense. TCU gave us the Week Zero Belicheat humiliation, so I’mma root for them.
War Damn Eagle (+6.5) at Steerfuckers North (3:30, ABC)
2024 wet farts that have started 3-0 and seem legimiately like they could be much better – but put the emphasis on COULD. We don’t really know yet, and this week will be the first of many tests. Probably a fun watch, at least.
Tulane (+13.5) at Johnny Reb (3:30, ESPN)
Tulane beat their former QB and his Dookies last week, so this will be more of a “free hit” from their vantage point/ Johnny Reb has no defensing unit to speak of, so pound the over.
Michigan (-2.5) at Nebraska (3:30, CBS)
I can only imagine how much of a grind this one will be. Should be sponsoUred by Grindr when u think about it no ofence.
NC State (+3.5) at Duke (4:00, ESPN2)
Want to know what Hippo will be watching? This. I can feel my mood darkening, quicker than I can type. Since my Wolven Sort didn’t rake-step “away” to Wake Forest, I am terrified about the potential for “away” to Duke. In quotes because at least 70% of the crowd will be in red and white (and sometimes black), supporting Charlie Brown U. We are loyal af, and by that yes I mean stupid.
I heard a joke once — like its funny guys define themselves as 2A given that it is LITERALLY every single citizens right, regardless, and they say it is THEIR thing.
And I feel that way about1A now. Like, who in the world cannot say what they want when they want wherever now AND BROADCAST IT?
But some idiots are gonna be like, “I SPEAK FREELY” and im like, im honestly an obnoxious jerk and have to survive amongst the richies — and I’ve never felt like I could not speak my voice. I may have to soften my punchline a whole lot more but, if you ever get to the end scene of once of those mystery movies (ie “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”) about my greatest crimes, you will not say I didn’t leave behind subtle jabs and Easter Eggs EXPLICITLY TO HAVE MY VOICE SPOKEN (IF NOT HEARD).
So yeah — trying to talk the wife into letting me get us an, is it, Opere?
Opere? Is that one of them foreign guns?
No, silly, he wants to go see La Boheme.
I’m sure this will go well
https://www.npr.org/2025/09/19/g-s1-89680/trump-adds-100-000-fee-for-high-skilled-foreign-workers-in-major-visa-overhaul
Prediction: A few will be affected in the short term and they will make the news. A few weeks later this will be quietly rescinded and a complicit media will make no mention of it.
Wolven Sort just got screwed by a non call. Boo refs.
4th and 2, under a minute, on Duke 25. We were only going to snap if they jumped offside, left DE jumps a full yard into the backfield, we snap it, no BLEERGH, throw an INT run back to State’s 12.
12-14 point goddamned swing.
There is no “we” since NIL.
Yup. That was some fucking bullshit.
Hope they can use it for a chip on their shoulder in the 2nd half.
Whelp, Smothers had a nice start to the 2nd half, fo sho.
since clemson posted this:
georgia tech 24
clemson 21
syracuse 34
clemson 21
Ummm…. the 1st Amendment does protect my freedom to indignify others with only my words.
But importantly, I’m a rich white guy so the ‘statements’ and ‘calls’ from individuals and bureaucracies who feel the need to play social media statement ball age insulated from my immediate world.
For, you see, freedom to influence always takes two to tango.
The first amendment protecting the right to free speech that harms the dignity of others has been explicitly upheld, just ask those
Charlie Kirk fansNazis who got to march through Skokie, IL.TAEK TWO: SillyCuse is 100% setting themselves up to lose 35-34.
Fuck off, Zeus. Weather delay means I have to get back into the yard and do more work.
I mean, you are an adult so you could also just nawt do that (but then feel guilty about it since you are an adult)
I’m actually done with the hard part – I just have a lot of tidying up to do. And I want to assemble the pieces for a picture.
Don’t you have illegal immigrants in LA?
That’s all we have here, according to “administration-approved” news sources.
Touchdown, the Brother Smothers!!!
Was “Hollywood Smothers” a Key & Peel East/West Bowl name?
If not, shoulda been.
RITE???
Welp, riding lesson tomorrow is cancelled since a couple of the horses have gone gimpy. I’m not sure how exactly, but I’m pretty sure this is somehow the fault of the 49rs training staff. Getting to sleep in and RedZone for the full early window is decent consolation at least, and now I’m contemplating an afternoon of beer and shame pizza to prepare
“We’d like to offer a second opinion: they clearly have back injuries.”
-Dolphin medical staff
Whenever someone says they are as healthy as a horse I’m just going to assume that they get really bad tummy aches and need orthopedic shoes
I don’t get horse ladies. I have a few in my life and it’s just nothing but fucking work. And, don’t get me wrong, like I really enjoy trailriding a lot, but just the fucking like — my dog gets to be my dog because he ain’t that much work.
And horses are the biggest strongest creatures who just like ate not durable in that any ailment is basically gimp/dead.
Enjoy yours. You don’t owe me am explanation or anything but some of those horses are born straight up lemons from the factory floor
It’s like any other hobby, you’re willing to put in the time and effort because you personally get enough out of it for it to be worth it.
Domestic horses are actually quite durable nowadays, their lifespans are about 3x what they would be in the wild and we have horses that are happily working into their 20s and 30s (a 20 yo horse is roughly equivalent to a 60 yo human). Since they’re prey animals, any problem that means they can’t keep up with the herd is pretty much a death sentence, so their health pattern doesn’t have much middle ground – they appear and act fine until things are catastrophic. Makes it annoyingly hard to catch and treat stuff early, but getting better at that is a big part of why they live a lot longer and have fewer health crises than formerly.
Also means that it’s better to error on the side of caution for any little thing, because they aren’t going to tell you if it’s really a small thing or not. They just naturally have the stoic attitude of a pro-athlete on a shitton of painkillers
How important is a team training staff anymore? I mean, general treatment, stretching, lifting emphasizes by the HC — but these players are freaks.
I’m kinda assuming that the training staff accounts for some of the persistent health differences between teams, but no idea if that assumption is correct
There has to be something to it. The Giants and Niners seemed to have outsized numbers of injuries year after year after year.
SillyCuse is 100% setting themselves up to lose 28-27.
ALWAYS BET AGAINST TEH HIPPO
“I didn’t see this coming!”
-Sillycuse, tied to a railroad track, hearing a train whistle off in the distance
THIS SYRACUSE TEAM HAS A LOT IN COMMON WITH THE POTUS THEY’RE BOTH PREDOMINANTLY ORANGE, BOTH DRIVE PEOPLE INSANE AND BOTH ARE SHITTING THEIR PANTS ON A REGULAR BASIS
Can we find Jason Garrett a coaching gig so I don’t have to hear him call games?
Totes. The non stop blather is just enraging… Had to mute it.
FAKE PUNTERATION FOR THE FIRST DOWN! WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW, NOTRE DAME?
At the pearly gates, saying to a certain grifter “For the last time, no.”
Media pundits are verbally fellating Amorim for that great first half United had. Yeah, they were up a man for 40 minutes. As soon as Casemiro got sent off, Chelsea dominated.
Can’t believe Chelsea’s keeper got a red card just for kicking someone square in the nuts.
Lesser Footy used to be a proper sport.
did it stay 2-nil?
If there was a just god, Notre Dame would be wiped off the face of the earth.
Notice “gish, golly, we just don’t have the schedule room to keep playing Michigan and Sparty” but they sure as fuck make room for Purdue (and Nany and Stanford)
God has forsaken us.
https://bsky.app/profile/solomonmissouri.bsky.social/post/3lz4zqs2hc22z
First day of jury duty call in and…
No need to report on Monday.
Four more days to go.
Good luck!
Last time, I made it the whole week , and then they made me go in on Friday. And I got selected, but I managed to get out of it because I had a drs appointment the first day the trial was starting. Good thing, because it was a multiple child molestation one- ugh.
That sounds horrible.
My last 3 or 4 times I didn’t have to report at all but this is Long Beach and they’ve got me before.
It’s pretty easy to get out of those. “Anyone even remotely connected to the sexual assault of a child should be castrated and then shot and no, I would not let a little thing like ‘due process’ get in the way of that.”
“Ms. Gumbygirl, this trial may not be for you, but thank you for your blunt honesty. You are excused.”
Hell, I wouldn’t even be lying.
Call Of Jury Duty
Arkansas just fumbled on the goal line and is about to lose to Memphis.
Jerry Jones went to Arkansas. This likely makes Jerry Jones sad. This therefore makes me happy.
“May I offer you a medium Pepsi in these difficult times.”
-John Mara, channeling the other DeVito
https://nypost.com/2021/12/17/giants-mocked-for-giving-free-soda-for-fan-appreciation-day/
Mister Pickles coming down to the wire. I ain’t seen the new drawing I subtly asked FOAR, though.
Crab Cake V. Cheese Curds on the teevee:
Good, cause they sure as shit didn’t show up
I swear to fuck, I don’t recall SBL even making a first down.
Got the morning walk in, fully cleaned bedroom and bathroom. Have a pot of veggie stock simmering next to a pot of beans also pleasantly simmering.
Productively morning but closing in on beer thirty.
Was the walk……long?
4 miles give or take.
Didn’t have to dodge gunfire or nothing.
the local bangers all NOE u packs a strap
Didn’t even have to use your AK!
Weather delays are such bullshit. Everyone’s PAID now, stay out there. TAKE A FUCKING CHANCE.
Guns Up!/SBL is so dull that even Gus Johnson’s enthusiasm has died.
Futbol Scheduling Gods are not on my side today. Mighty Whitey plays in half an hour but I have to leave to go to the 2nd last home game of the season for my local club.
So many social engagements, so little time.
Tell Mighty Whitey they need 3 football points in the first half, then. Also, do you get WiFi in the Calvary stadium?
Yeah we do. Will be driving during the 2nd half. We tailgate and have a kick about in the parking lot.
oh, you still be watchin’ then
“It looks like a lot but it will wilt and reduce as it cooks down.”
-every single soup recipe that has spinach, escarole, kale, swiss chard, rapini, etc.
Ever made a pot of greens?
You need a whole bale of greens to make a pot.
And bacon.
You’ll need bacon.
This is ham hock erasure and I will not stand for it!
Maybe Luke Fickell is trying to get himself fired at halftime?
Maybe he has a side bet with Mike Gundy, and they’s racing to the finish line.
(fans are frustrated) is the best NBC announcers could come up with amid the chorus of boos and choice words Notre Dame pricks would poo-poo.
20-0 Maryland, could very well be 35-0.
NBC sure knows how to be bland. cough cough JIMMY FALLON cough cough
officially, THIS is the worst #BFIB supporter. Just ahead of the “Get a brain Morans” guy.
I don’t think Gumbygirl’s Blazers are gonna pull the upset in Knox-Vegas. Fuck it, pop a pill and/or spark up a doob anyhow.
They will not. This game is just for the cash, it doesn’t even count ( in my mind)
Doob’s gonna hafta wait, Gumbygirl has Shit To Do!
This window is turrrrible and Hippo should have napped. Too goddamned late now (and I was always probably too angry, TO BE FARE)
For a team coached by Uncle Remus, Maryland isn’t half bad.
Narrator: This was one of the very last comments made by scotchnaut before he was perma-banned
you put Zippety-Doo-Da into my head and know it’s HIPPO who feels all Das Raycess
Everything is satisfactual, Your Majesty!
Malik to Shaleak cant be beak
Sillycuse 24
Son of Clem 7
9:13 left in the second
lol
Prediction: Sillycuse will piss away their 86% win probability rate.
Oh, look! 74%
64.7%
They’re emulating UConn from Week 2.
(I very much want Sillycuse to win this one, as the Dabo meltdown will be fantastic)
Tantrum notwithstanding, Dabo sucks.
Maryland-Wisconsin is well on the way to plaid.
I have decided to dedicate my day to removing a large hunk of subterranean bamboo from my yard. Pray for Rikki.
Subterranean Bamboo is playing on Sunday at Coachella next year.
Nonstop.
It’s virtually impossible to get them off the stage. They just keep coming back.
Playing their only hit- The Song That Never Ends
Phish immediately files suit FOAR copyright infringement
I like watching college football on the Big 4 (ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX) channels just to see what absolute dreck they’re plugging with respect to their prime time offerings.
Emblematic of how far the culture has fallen, even if one knew nothing of the politics of things.
We are fucked. We will not get un-fucked.
Maryland’s going to win this, aren’t they?
Wiscy is really, epically bad. Like on the level of BDSM State.
Maybe not quite to UCLA/VPI level.
If a call is too close to overturn, if the VAR people can’t figure it out after 2 minutes, just go with the field decision. My God, pro leagues need to stop sucking joy out of the game
Almost on cue when reading this, JG9 on my YooToob stream is bitching about replay on the Texas Tech/Utah game.
SillyCuse were doing a good, but seem to have stopped
Holy shit, Wisconsin. That’ll be on the DERP of the Day reels.
Maryland being in the B1G is still as useful as crotchrot.
A red card for Chelsea!
And they say there’s no good in the world anymore.
I think I am just gonna listen to this on repeat a few hours…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_1WiBDRgzs
DOUBLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tTgqxkocf8
sweet, always forget how much I dig Wolf Parade
I’ve never seen them play live; I should remedy that.
HOW MUCH blood FOAR teh Bloodeyes’ GODS???
Looks like Canadia will get the English in the WC women’s final.
Was the win over NZ that big an upset as I’m being told?
We destroyed them from the opening whistle.
Graham Potter is stoppage time away from getting the sack. Maybe it’s time to fire the guy who keeps hiring all these coaches who last 8 weeks? Just a thought. Either that or just get Moyes back and let him keep the job until he dies.
I wonder if Rudy Giuliani has already unzipped his trousers and offer his penis to Charlie Kirk’s hotass widow.
For America.
*shudder* That guy really puts the spittle in “lickspittle”.
He also takes the “gin” out of “a bottle of gin”.
That’s a highlight-and-a-half goal for Palace.
And the announcer just called the keeper ‘areola’ before correcting himself. What a morning indeed.
My birthday is in a couple days and I kinda forgot about it this year. This photo popped up, I think it’s from my senior year in high school. Film photos automatically look retro nowadays, but otherwise it all looks fairly similar to how kids nowadays look I think. (I have like 2 datapoints on how kids nowadays look)
well, no one’s doing anything stupid/dangerous/obnoxious/illegal for Tik Tok clout, so it really doesn’t look much like kids today.
Anyway, I’m going outside to guard my lawn from the likes of them.
We did stupid/dangerous/obnoxious/illegal shit for the pure joy of it!
I wonder if anyone blows up mailboxes anymore. I’m guessing not, since getting caught would lead to terrorism charges.
A few of my friends in high school spent ages trying to find a mailbox big enough to stick your head in. They eventually found one and frequently made detours to go stick their heads in this random person’s mailbox. I probably don’t need to specify that these particular friends were male. However, I DO need to specify that one of them drove an old station wagon (the kind with the fake wood panels) that was named the Munkeywagon
Dude giving the peace sign.
When did he give up on his passions?
Pretty sure that’s bunny ears, although bunnies are pretty peaceful as long as you are NAWT lettuce or in a Monty Python movie
I had forgotten how prevalent bunny ears were for 90s teens!
It’s really difficult to figure out who Dok is in this photo, having no clue what she looks like.
Gonna guess green lai
Nailed it
Pretty sure I can pick out which one you are.
Why is stripey shirt boy giving you such side-eye? Chuck him in the volcano, he’s not worthy!
That’s not me at the front, them two dated a bunch in high school though nawt sure if they were still at the time of this photo. It gets even worse though, he’s a drummer!
I forgot to celebrate the Raiders getting their first win of the season; yet another year gone by where I don’t have to live in fear of them joining the Lions and the Browns in perpetual ignominy.
It’s very considerate of them not to keep you in suspence as they proceed to lose 10 games after that initial win!
You jest, but it’s way easier to stomach that long losing streak when it doesn’t start the season.
Would say Pete Carroll has earned a season preview for the 2025 Raiders now?
The analyst doing this game is relentlessly calling West Ham out for lack of effort and I couldn’t love it more. Now they’re getting booed off the pitch at halftime. Time to make room in the Prem for a more entertaining squad than these frauds. This club needs to learn some hard lessons.
What team will Roy pretend to love now??
The thing about West Ham is that they always try to walk into the locker room at halftime while getting showered with boos.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=97EPhShyB1E&si=gK2wHQAN39C-ch_S
For our aquatic mammal ruler.
I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS TIMELINE.
Stay tuned for when I blow out my knee while chasing Duke WCS around gymnastics in about 45 minutes.
You can have the pills they give me after the inevitable surgery.
Huzzah, good man! I am glad to be a good imaginary pal, supporting your recovery and all.
Stretch before running