Welcome To The Walloping!

Pull up a hammock/bean bag chair and make yourself comfy. This tilt might be entertaining in a morbid kind of way when all is said and done.

Flotsam and Jetsam:

– Are you a sundowning clown who hasn’t been told ‘No’ in decades? Do you have ‘inadvertent’ fingers with a mind of their own? Well that’s gonna cost you 250K-you know, your escort budget for the first six months of the year.

-Two weeks after Browning got a vote of confidence from Zac Taylor, one Joe Flacco is being thrown into the fire as the Bengals starter. He’s up against the Packers again just like in week 3. Has a QB ever played the same non-divisional opponent twice in the regular season? I’m guessing this is a playigami(?)

-This Rings a Bell: After some recent decent play there’s chatter that Indy is talking about a juicy extension with Daniel Jones. He will get injured shortly after the ink dries.

To The Game!

Eagles/Giants:

-Hurts has but one turnover this year but Philly fans love drama so the talk is that he’s 7 of 22 on deep passes and that kind of stat is not tolerable. Yeesh!

-Time is a Flat Circle Alert: The last time the Giants beat these guys was in 2023 (the Eagles were resting their starters) when they had a wide receiver room completely bereft of talent. Ta Da! Here’s a rundown of ball-catchers that are starting tonight: Wan’Dale has 23 catches from the slot (OK, fine) and next up is complete washout Jalin Hyatt with 0 grabs on 3 targets (Oh my) as well as Lil’Jordan Humphrey who was just brought up from the practice squad. (Yikes!)

-New York has lost ten straight Thursday Night affairs.

-It was A.J. Brown whinging a few weeks ago because he was not getting the ball and it should have been Saquon a few days ago-he was given all of one(!) rushing attempt in the 2nd half last week. His yards gained rushing average is down by 72 compared to last year. Are they saving him? Or do they know that he breaks down under heavy usage? Does Sirriani get the benefit of the doubt here?

-This tilt is in the slippery hands of rookies Dart and Sk8erboi, who had four turnovers between them last week.

Enjoy the latest iteration of The Gong Show!

 

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Doktor Zymm

Y’all are useless btw time for sleepies

Beerguyrob

Confirmed: Philly’s gonna burn.

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Doktor Zymm

Compromise! Went to my corner bar, drinking a single dingding, and high fived 2 and a half strangers!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…and a half strangers!

Wait, as in Lowratio? Or Jason Pierre-Paul?

Doktor Zymm

I could walk down to Joe’s for a beer, then immediately walk back and one beer at Mahoney’s….no this is crazy talk. Worse than crazy talk, PANTS talk.

Doktor Zymm

Where is everyone? I need to be stopped or enabled stat!

Doktor Zymm

There’s at least one helicopter. No need to bring in a helicopter until a fan punches a police horse. Maybe I should pants and go high fiving

Doktor Zymm

My good day continues! Made it to top 2 in my poker game and made a deal where I get 1st place money and 2nd place points, golden! If my luck continues then maybe I’ll actually see dude again tomorrow (which would be historic, it’s gotten a lot better but hit rate on we’ll do something on x day is still under .500) and my flight back to SFO won’t be delayed more than an hour!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Cubs won, so suck it

Jimbo

Worst pick up line ever.

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, that’s only gonna work on people who were gonna suck it anyway

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s my (incredibly limited) demographic!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Matt Shaw finally managed to get a hit this postseason (only took 18 plate appearances!) and his Cubs team is cruising to an easy win tonight.

Charlie Kirk is looking up and smiling right now.

Gumbygirl

Portland is a burning hellscape!
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Redshirt

I suddenly support Trump burning Portland to the ground.

Jimbo

This is hilarious.

Doktor Zymm

If it’s a choice between Trump and furries, BRING ON THE HUMPING UNICORNS!

Don T

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Gumbygirl

Buddy’s dreams have come true- bear sighting X 2!

Brick Meathook

Luftwaffe health inspection:

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BugEyedBoo

Need to transfer her to the Kriegsmarine!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And now for the Cubs to somehow shit the bed before I have to sleep in it.

Beerguyrob

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not tonight, my friend.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So Saturday? Got it.

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, not gonna go out and try to high five strangers because pants

Redshirt

Well, while riding the betting high, I was going to drop $10 on the Giants to win the NFC East, but I see Hard Rock Bet doesn’t have the NFC East as an option.

Logically, its because they have to re-examine the odds with the Giants being good and the Eagles falling to Earth.

However, there is a decent chance the NFC East is just so chaotic, they don’t even bother to attempt to cover any bets for it.

Don T

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BugEyedBoo

.

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Doktor Zymm

That’s what engineers are for, after physicists translate for them

Gumbygirl

Scotchy was right, it WAS a walloping!

Redshirt

Next week, its my Bengals led by Joe Flacco (goddamn it)!

Col. Duke LaCross

Skattebo strikes me as the type of guy that asks his buddies to hit him with their car, just to see if he can take it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If you had two NFL players named Skattebo and Gay, which one would you think liked Oscar Wilde plays the most? I’d say Gay, wouldn’t you? You’d be wrong, though. It’s Skattebo.

Redshirt

This is going to be a long four football minutes…

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ballsofsteelandfury

Redshirt wins!!

Redshirt

I’m playing with House Money for the next few weeks!!! Days. Hours. Its already gone.

jjfozz

Helmet to helmet hit and you flag Skattebo for talking shit? Fuck the NFL

Redshirt

Well, I think we can all agree that this game happened exactly as everyone thought it would.

(deletes weekly reminder to make Eliminator Selection)

Doktor Zymm

Skattebo >> Skattemu

Brick Meathook

Skattebo is jacked on something. That’s where the grittiness comes from.

Doktor Zymm

He’s been swimming in the East River

Brick Meathook

Find the tiger in this photo:

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Beerguyrob

I found the 10% version.

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Last edited 4 months ago by Beerguyrob
Redshirt

Going for it on 4th & 4 on Own 11? Oh, we’re watching a Madden e-sports game! Calm down! This isn’t real life!