Pull up a hammock/bean bag chair and make yourself comfy. This tilt might be entertaining in a morbid kind of way when all is said and done.

Flotsam and Jetsam:

– Are you a sundowning clown who hasn’t been told ‘No’ in decades? Do you have ‘inadvertent’ fingers with a mind of their own? Well that’s gonna cost you 250K-you know, your escort budget for the first six months of the year.

-Two weeks after Browning got a vote of confidence from Zac Taylor, one Joe Flacco is being thrown into the fire as the Bengals starter. He’s up against the Packers again just like in week 3. Has a QB ever played the same non-divisional opponent twice in the regular season? I’m guessing this is a playigami(?)

-This Rings a Bell: After some recent decent play there’s chatter that Indy is talking about a juicy extension with Daniel Jones. He will get injured shortly after the ink dries.

To The Game!

Eagles/Giants:

-Hurts has but one turnover this year but Philly fans love drama so the talk is that he’s 7 of 22 on deep passes and that kind of stat is not tolerable. Yeesh!

-Time is a Flat Circle Alert: The last time the Giants beat these guys was in 2023 (the Eagles were resting their starters) when they had a wide receiver room completely bereft of talent. Ta Da! Here’s a rundown of ball-catchers that are starting tonight: Wan’Dale has 23 catches from the slot (OK, fine) and next up is complete washout Jalin Hyatt with 0 grabs on 3 targets (Oh my) as well as Lil’Jordan Humphrey who was just brought up from the practice squad. (Yikes!)

-New York has lost ten straight Thursday Night affairs.

-It was A.J. Brown whinging a few weeks ago because he was not getting the ball and it should have been Saquon a few days ago-he was given all of one(!) rushing attempt in the 2nd half last week. His yards gained rushing average is down by 72 compared to last year. Are they saving him? Or do they know that he breaks down under heavy usage? Does Sirriani get the benefit of the doubt here?

-This tilt is in the slippery hands of rookies Dart and Sk8erboi, who had four turnovers between them last week.

Enjoy the latest iteration of The Gong Show!

 

5 6 votes
Article Rating

Leave a Reply

Subscribe
Notify of
255 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh shit, I have Smith, too. He’s done so little that I hadn’t noticed.

Redshirt

What the hell is happening?

A. Thursday Night Football shenanigans.
B. Trap Game.
C. Giants good.
D. Eagles bad.
E. Alternate Universe feed.
F. Apocalypse.

Gumbygirl

G. All of the above

Jimbo

G. G’s up
H. Hoe’s down

Doktor Zymm

My mother is nawt great at texting, and while trying to text me “r u home” she accidentally sent “r u ho”

Gumbygirl

She knows about your afternoon caller!

Doktor Zymm

She sent it this morning so she is also a precog!

I should listen to her advice more

Last edited 6 months ago by Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm

G. This is probably all a dream and I’m gonna wake up in 2004 and buy a bunch of NVIDIA stock and it’ll all become worthless when we go to a geese based economy in 2007

Brick Meathook

Well it sucks to be Philadelphia right now. The Flyers are scheduled to lose on Saturday.

jjfozz

I’ve got Skattebo, Goedert, and Giants D starting tonight on my team. I’ll still lose after Monday’s final game.

Beerguyrob

Between this game and the Phillies loss, Wawa’s going to run out of batteries for fans to throw at team buses leaving the airport.

Don T

WHAT WORLD IS THIS? I lime it!

Beerguyrob

Did I walk in the door to the Upside Down?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

More points for Skittlebrau/Brocky’s bench!

Doktor Zymm

This whole ‘good Thursday night games’ thing is weird, but I’m down with it

BrettFavresColonoscopy

OBJ looks like he’s lost his ability to make one handed catches

Redshirt

Why for they try to kill their Franchise QB?

litre_cola

Well, my favoUrite football team sucks

Redshirt

I would really like a Skattebo reception, please.

Doktor Zymm

Wow, VEPs holding up, unexpected and impressive!

Redshirt
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Do I get points for that Saquon tackle?

Brick Meathook

My only fantasy player in this game is Goedert and he’s on the bench

Redshirt

Good. Dart only has a back owie.

Redshirt

…or Russell Wilson is wearing his jersey based on that last pass.

Unsurprised

Didn’t see this one coming.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s why the Kim-RayJay sex tape was shot in night vision.

Or was that the Paris Hilton one? I can’t remember.

Don T

Chart Jalen Hurts was lookiing at: “YOU NEED TWO SCORES”, plus scribbles

Doktor Zymm

checks out

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS LADY MY WIFE I CALL HER JIM TOMSULA BECAUSE SHE JUST PICKED UP AN ITEM SHE FOUND ON THE SIDEWALK AND IS PLANNING ON PUTTING IT INSIDE HER EARS.

SonOfSpam

hey q-tips ain’t cheap

ArmedandHammered

She didn’t vacuum it first?

Doktor Zymm

How are all ya other Cali people thinking about the gerrymander prop? I’m legit considering not voting on that one, but I’ll check the polling first. I hate it and it’s bad for the state and the country but it probably needs to pass even if just for the court challenges

Gumbygirl

I’m voting hell yes.

SonOfSpam

Already done voted hell yes

Brick Meathook

I just filled out my yes vote and am putting it in the vote box tomorrow

Bogdanski

I hate it and it’s bad for the state and the country but it’s defence and is better than the alternative. At least some democrats are actually showing some backbone for once

Jimbo

I’m voting yes.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m voting yes. I intend to blindly vote in support of every Democratic politician and initiative at every possible opportunity as long as I still possess that right.

Jimbo

Dart is ready, I think I know what they gave him in the tent.

Screenshot-2025-10-09-at-7.35.47-PM
Don T

the key! 🤣🤣

Gumbygirl

That was my favorite part!

jjfozz

going to rain on sunday
so soccer tournament cancelled
wife is going to bridal shower
win! win! Win!

today she says, “When I get back we need to clean out the living room SO WE CAN PAINT IT ON YOUR DAY OFF!”

This life of mine can go suck a dick

Doktor Zymm

PAINT IT BLACK

Bogdanski

The red doors! The line of cars! All of it!

jjfozz

I wish. It’s some tan, not tan, color that we’ve used in both hosues. I prefer orange and purple, but do I ever get my way?

Doktor Zymm

yuck

ArmedandHammered

Are you paying for it? Are you the man of the house? Tell her you are spending your day off however YOU want. She wants it painted, then she should paint it.

Doktor Zymm

lol everyone hates Russ

ArmedandHammered

Not sure if you have “Alexa”, but I need a 3 part meme of the machine in the first saying something about upgrading to hear the new voice, then the machine saying “Alexa, let me hear your new voice” to upgrade. Next frame is Kinnison from Back to School screaming Say it! Saying it!

Last edited 6 months ago by ArmedandHammered
Doktor Zymm

alexa+ needs to die

Gumbygirl

NY is NOT charmed.

SonOfSpam

Time to call out the Jaxson Cart.

Redshirt

Well, that was a nice era of New York Giants happiness.

Doktor Zymm

That was a great tumbling sequence on that catch, but the Russian judge only gave it a 3.7

Doktor Zymm

I’m too lazy to change tabs and check even though all this typing is probably more effort, so anyone want to tell me the score of the Cubs game?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

3-0 Cubs

Doktor Zymm

Thanks!
If they win maybe I’ll try to go out and high five strangers, although I’m not sure just avoiding elimination in the divisional round merits it

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

The twinks are rallying though

Horatio Cornblower

I’d be more concerned about the lack of Saquon production affecting my team if Brocky weren’t starting 2 guys on IR, one guy on a buy, a kicker who isn’t active, and a questionable Bitchin’ Kamara.

Sure hope he doesn’t read this.

Horatio Cornblower

He also has Skattebo.

On his bench.

ArmedandHammered

You sure God did not set his line up for him?

jjfozz

The biggest douchebag sports dad that was on my son’s lax and football team is a huge Eagles fan. i’m enjoying this immensely.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

My lax team got me through an IBS scare

Gumbygirl

My new tight end appears to be more of a blocker than a receiver.

ArmedandHammered

Are we not doing phrasing anymore?

Gumbygirl

That’s why he’s so tight.

Gatoraids

Nabers holding them back like the HOA from Hell

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Cam Skattebo does a backflip whenever he scores, but I tell my partner I need my Xanax and 3/4 of the bed

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That was great; I just wish the Phillies had been the Astros.

Doktor Zymm

Wait, so is dude’s actual name “Little Jordan”?

BC Dick

No he’s lil’. Just a lil’ guy. A lil’ Jordan.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Yes named after St. Lil’Jordan of Marseille

Doktor Zymm

He’s not jumpy at all, if he somehow manages to make it through a couple seasons without getting beat to a pulp he’ll probably be great

Doktor Zymm

Welp

Jimbo

We got our ballots in the mail today. My wife got two ballots—one with my last name and one with her maiden name. I told her 

star-wars-admiral-ackbar
SonOfSpam

Just dropped ours off in a secure (?) ballot box.

At least that’s what the cardboard sign said.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Still sucks that you have to include $20 in cash for the vote processing fee.

SonOfSpam

shush pls don’t give trump any ideas

Gumbygirl

Got mine too. I’m going up to Big Bear tomorrow, I’ll drop it off before I go.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Watching this game instead of the Cubs elimination match is yet another bit of evidence that I am a moron.

Jimbo

Wow just tuned in, Giants good or Eagles bad. I’m guessing both.

Doktor Zymm

So this spa that I’ve been going to over by wrigley, it also gives you snacks to take away!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Very different type of happy ending

Brick Meathook

.

Image-2
Doktor Zymm

I really should use goblin as a suffix moar often

Last edited 6 months ago by Doktor Zymm
Brick Meathook

“poopgoblin” is a devastating curse

BC Dick

Fuck I gotta save this. To own all the libnozzles and wankwaffles. That gives me an idea

Redshirt

Douchenozzle is more common than I thought.

BC Dick

I like dumbbag. And I only got 2 squares in

Bogdanski

I’m gonna start using wank clown, that deserves more recognition

ArmedandHammered

I’m surprised that my go to of “Fuck Stain” is that popular.

Unsurprised

Noteworthy how fucking lame this is considering 90% of Reddit is porn

Horatio Cornblower

Just got back in from making a blanket fort for my garden in an effort to avoid tonight’s frost and add a week or so of tomato-growing time.

Just in time to see the Phillies lose in a fashion that makes me forget how bad the Yankees did. My god.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

They haven’t won shit, time to go

Horatio Cornblower

Eating them. I don’t grow enough to can.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Meanwhile I just planted a bunch of snap peas, and am looking forward to a bountiful harvest by December. There’s a bunch more passion fruit on the way, too.

jjfozz

i take it that those tomatoes are earm makred for sauce? (they better be)

jjfozz

If you see a person drinking anything pumpkin flavored, you should judge them harshly. And maybe punch them in the crotch.

Last edited 6 months ago by jjfozz
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I haven’t had one yet this year, but pumpkin beers are tasty

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And I say that fully aware that you’re a short drive from crotch punching distance.

BeefReeferLives

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Do you mean pumpkin spice flavored? Very few things other than pie are actually pumpkin flavored

255
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x