Rodgers: [commanding voice] “Hand me The Elder Scrolls, minion!”
Trainer: “Oh, you mean the playbook?”
Rodgers: [whiny voice] “Shut up!”
God, sports yakkers just love themselves their statistical anomalies, don’t they? Sixty year+ writers getting all wet in their pants about forty year-olds is where we are.
Flotsam and Jetsam:
-Obvious News is Obvious: Brian Branch’s one game suspension is upheld because believe it or not, there is a rational higher court that still exists in the US. For now. Branch has been fined about a dozen times for about $130,000 and he’s been in the league three years. He’s run the gamut of offenses-taunting, helmet to helmet hits, horse collar tackles, middle finger salutes, fighting-he’s done it all.
-Best Backfield?: Word is that Chuba Hubbard is ready to play again. Here’s the best kind of problem to have-the fill-in (Dowdle of course) went on a absolute tear during the starter’s absence and the ‘conundrum’ as ESPN puts it, is “Oh my, what to do?” Non-dummies know that this is a split backfield now that is far more potent than it was before. Another thing new to the Panthers? They might be buyers at the trade deadline-a wr to pair with the Tet Offensive would be a good idea.
WTH?: I was astounded to find out that Fields (that guy with the net -10 passing yards last week) has yet to throw an INT so far this year.
To The Game!
Steelers/Bengals:
-Good news for everyone on Pitt-it would appear that Hendrickson is out.
-Vanilla Joe was only sacked one time last week which seems curious to me but Green Bay is turning out to be a difficult team to figure out.
-You’re starting Chase anyway but it may be good to know that the Steelers are 22nd in DVOA vs #1 wr’s.
-His counterpart (D.K.) is on a heater with 9 grabs, 221 yards and a pair of TD’s over the last two weeks. Overall he’s scored a six spot in four straight games.
-29% of Rodgers passes have been behind the line of scrimmage to date. Are you a good game manager? Yes you are!
-Thing is, Cincy gives up the most yards after catch (7.2) no matter where it’s done on the field so that lazy screen to the rb will get Pitt almost 3/4’s of the way to a first down when thrown on first down.
-I’m guessing that Flacco doesn’t look to Iosivas very much this evening-he had three drops last week.
Do your thing.
I’m becoming very anxious about my colonoscopy ext week.
You’ll poop alot before the operation, then you’ll sleep, then you’ll wake up and reflect on the whole thing and be glad you never served time in jail.
Prep’s annoying, lay in some good reading material. The nap you’re going to take is awesome. Might have some gas afterwards. It’ll go away.
Feel that way if they give me the one batch liquid prep
You’ll poo more than you ever thought possible and then poo more than you ever thought possible again. Like the others state above, bring some stuff you can dig in with. You’ll be there a while.
It wasn’t painful. Honestly, after the 15th time, it’s more irritating in the “okay-this-is-getting-tedious” sort of sense.
Get butt wipes; Dude Wipes, Softkins, baby wipes (DON’T FLUSH THOSE), etc. for easier mop-up duty.
I have been told to use Vaseline as well
You’re nawt RFK Jr so I’m sure they won’t find a highly developed civilization of worms with their own art and literature up there or anything
SO FUCKING ELITE
Hasn’t yet begun to peak https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/PCU3119413119417
Link is price of mayo
Rum Raisin ice cream is underrated
Feels like Ben and Jerry’s should be adding cherry and running a Red Rum Raisin variation the time of year
How about some Pumpkin Slice?
Disagree. it’s the only flavor they serve in hell. although it’s all melted and on fire
I’m not enjoying this at all. Time to smoke a doob and stuff my face
Evergreen feeling
The Tomlin Thursday Torment Task Tree
The white tiger cubs are kinda goofy-lookin
They’re frequently born crosseyed, some have hearing problems. You can’t selectively breed for traits with such a small population. Hapsburg kittehs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFRuhs-J7EM&list=PLP5E3f0kgIG37Q_2EW1iZvYI6vI2QCZpV&index=10
HALFTIME HIGHLIGHTS FILLER MUSIC
seattle disappearing like nirvana after april 5, 1994
did something happen?
Only thing more destructive running a shotgun is Geno
It’s fine. They’re fine. I’m fine.
That’s why you win the first two.
This is the first time all season I haven’t had a vested interest in a Thursday night game, fantasy or otherwise.
Feels weird
So what kind of goat did Redshirt sacrifice after the first quarter?
Hope it was TB13
And of course goat is not match for a god even with all the rings
Too vacation drunk in dc to post right
I find the Toronto Blue Jays distasteful.
not as distasteful as seattle’s play in seattle
Correct
That penalty on joey porter was a lifetime achievement award
https://bsky.app/profile/cjzero.bsky.social/post/3m3e54azwsc2i
Tomlin on his way to 3-16 on Thursdays.
There’s a Stone Cold Steve Austin bit somewhere here.
Haldo; reporting for another week of weird.
So the air is part of the ground on sn INT. Got it.
Oh Bengals, this is fun!
uh oh
Christmas pj’s sale before Halloween? Fuck you Old Navy.
I have a hard enough time getting my friends together to do one halloween related thing a year, now I gotta deal with holiday cheer BS?
Kitties!
I call this guy’s Flacco a ball of yarn cause he’s really stimulating the kitties
“Oh shut up”
-D. Favre
“Nobody talks about so-and-so enough…” YOU’RE THE GODDAMN TEE-VEE ANNOUNCER, DUMBASS!!! TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING GUY!!!
No one really talks about 89, but that’s because people are way more familiar with 69
[hangs CPAP mask on bedside hook]
[stacks pillows carefully for lumbar support]
[smiles seductively]
Oh, thank you, Thursday Night Bullshit!
I’m good with the stripey kitty cats winning this one
Fuuuuuuuuuck!!!
We haz game.
What did we do to be afflicted with this dogshit?
That was OPI.
I didn’t see anything!… actually I didn’t because I’m still at work but you’re probably right.
This is also OPI.
The Browns suck, why do they care if they help some other team in their division that also kinda sucks? It’s not like Flacco is gonna be a big threat in a year or two in that magical spot in spacetime when any team can have hope they might be good
Home run by Nailher, the fightin Ayos take the lead.
And the Doyers just finished off the Brew Crew for a 3-0 series almost-sweep.
Naylor? Barely know her!
I think this game broke the Clubhouse.
Iosivas is playing himself out of a job.
Porter is such a dumbass.
He’s good for a couple of those a game,
Cincinnati stopped them? We can do that?!
…Law of Averages, blah, blah, blah
Blind Squirrel
But how much fun would a blind squirrel be as a pet? Other than the shitting everywhere, it would be a real hoot watching that little guy bounce all around the house.
Are you aware of the destructive power of a squirrel, in a house?
Joe Burrow has a headset. Start calling the plays, Joe. What are they going to do, fire you?
Oh, they started already. I never remember if these things start on the :00 or the :25
Looks like I haven’t missed much
Okay, time to see if the 2nd Half on Sunday was an illusion or if I gotta start hoping again.
oh shit, fuck no
https://variety.com/2025/music/news/ace-frehley-kiss-lead-guitarist-dead-1236554943/
Shame. Should have been Gene.
That fucking guy is going to outlive the cockroaches.
Gene already had a near-miss two weeks ago
Crying a little bit, not gonna lie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PC9xjboGmsk
Kiss was Gumby’s first concert. We were 14.
Oh man! That might be the best possible first concert. Can you think of a better one?
My first one was Liberace. (for real)
Billy Joel here. I was 8
My first one was an all day stadium thing. BTO was the headliner. Also Foghat, Kansas, Styx, Edgar Winter, and Dave Mason.
Johnny Winter, not Edgar.
I am so fucking jealous.
Aerosmith, unless you count an unsigned Sheryl Crow playing a bar in my podunk hometown.
Lost Generation at Roller World in Enfield. Pretty sure it was $5, and I know the band was late because their shitty van broke down on the way up from wherever they were living.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSXKb0yD-5k
https://youtu.be/Uch3OmcKZsI?si=sX–vEevNIZpjosd
Not looking good. Thoughts and Prayers…
That national.anthem was ROCKING!
if i wanted to watch a “white out” where a person over 40 takes the best shot of the white out right in the face
current score:
nina hartley 7
lisa ann 0
Mrs. Horatio is watching the remake of ‘The Omen’ and I tell you, these days it’s just nice to see a kid with goals.
Nowadays:
“You are the son of Satan. You are destined to rule over Earth and defeat the Son of God and…”
“No, Dad! That’s your dreams, not mine! I want to be a painter!”
This “white out” is just making all of those terrible towels stand out more!
I know and they have orange-orange-orange for an orange out right there to hide the towels!
we are in peak october now:
-TWO baseball games (NLCS and ALCS)
-thursday night football (watchin two old people fight)
-hockey (boston vs vegas if you want to wish for the meteor)
-nyc mayor debate (if you want to watch cuomo turn into a corncob…or wish for a specific-sized very accurate meteor)
You’re playing your third quarterback in a prime time game against Pittsburgh in a game no one of rational mind expects you to win and you are wearing a special uniform combination.
How in BLEERGH’s glorious name isn’t Ryan Finley tonight’s Ruler of the Jungle?!
I have Chuba and Rico. Starting both of them should get me more points than one of them and Rhamondre Stevenson, right? Right?!!
DO IT! They are the new Bijan/Allgears backfield that delivers tons of points when you don’t start them together.
I think this week I’m going to stick with Rico and Rhamondre. Chuba may not be fully recovered yet, and the Patriots are playing Le Tits. Probably a mistake, but we’ll see!
“…getting all wet in their pants about forty year-olds is where we are.”
you now have zach wilson’s attention
I’ve heard tonight’s game referred to as the Unc Bowl and I was amused
My favorite is the IcyHot Bowl presented by Ensure.
Bengals fanbase when they realized this haunted carnival ride of a season’s next stop is the Pittsburgh Steelers. On Thursday.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDysm0F-WXo&pp=ygUVSSB3ZWxjb21lIGRlYXRoIGJ1bmR50gcJCfwJAYcqIYzv
Wow, Isuzu Joe!
I know. Don’t you sometimes watch old sitcoms from the ‘70s-‘90s on TV just for the chance to stop and go “Hey! It’s ___________!”
David Leisure was a member at a country club I was a pro at for a few years. One of maybe three people in the whole place that weren’t completely insufferable douchebags.
Pretty lovely guy. Dude gave me a grand as a going away gift when I took my current gig.
Very funny guy too. Great story.
Over/under on Hippo minutes watched – 0.5
YOU MAKE TEH CALL!
Do you have any skin, fantasy or GAMBLOR in it?
No and No!
/well, haven’t checked my opponent’s rosters, I find life slightly MOAR tolerable when I put that off until at least SNF
It’s me, and I don’t have anyone either.
Are highlights included or only the Amazon broadcast?
Well, you can’t throw an interception if you hold the ball!
/Pointing at head meme
He turtles up just like a good Milford Man!