Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: The Pre-NYC Election One

This may be my last Wumbo column before we’re inevitably nuked from orbit, just to be safe. It’s the only way to prevent New York from falling into the hands of Muslim socialists. Even though, if my reading of “2008 Republicans Reacting Reasonably” is correct, the entire country was like that for eight entire years and last I checked, you could walk into your local burger place and get a bacon cheeseburger. It may cost a fucking lot more than it did, and the jingles of sales that I grew up with as a kid are long, LONG dead. Our “five dollar four inch” jokes are truth now.

Anyway Hermana Weaselo might be going to a Mamdani election watch party and (since I’m working and it’s an RSVP so the place doesn’t get over-packed) I may ask her to do a Boots on the Ground. If, again, the Space Marines haven’t immediately invaded the city because that’s where we’re at with AI dreck. Slop is too kind a word. Crap is too general.

Speaking of invasions, we haven’t heard in some time from Comrade Old School Zero, presumably the guy dressed up as an alot of beer.

In the meantime, there is still news of the outside world because the trade deadline heating up! We even got trades!

-CB Michael Carter II and a ‘27 7th from NYJ to PHI for WR John Metchie III and a ‘27 6th

-S Kyle Dugger and a 7th from PIT to NE for a 6th

-EDGE Keion White and a 7th from NE to SF for a 6th

-CB Roger McCreary and a conditional 6th from TEN to SF for a conditional 5th

Goin’ mad, see? Anyway, there’s baseball tonight of the human (Game 5) and dice (BKN-HAZ) varieties. Probably hockey and basketball as well. Now go comment!

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Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve tried wearing my Dodgers cap out and about, I’ve tried not wearing my Dodgers cap, I’ve tried watching the games, I’ve tried following the gamecast instead, I’ve tried ignoring the game completely, etc. and I have come to the unescapable conclusion that there is nothing I can personally do to affect their fortunes. It’s fucking bullshit, man.

BugEyedBoo

I got my first reddit warning! For hate speech, no less. It was something to do with the Ohio Legislature wanting the state to issue gold and silver currency, so I’m not sure how I got from that to full MAGA.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wow, you must be a lot more polite on there than me. I’ve gotten more vacations from posting than I can count.

yeah right

Back home on California time.

This was my first chance to see a world series game this year.

In Spain baseball is as important on the sports scene as La Liga is here in the States.

Looks like it’s happy Eastern Canada time.

Last edited 4 months ago by yeah right
WCS

Welcome back to the Fractured States of MURICKA!

SonOfSpam

Lakers win on the road with no LeBron or Luka. Last second shot by Austin Reaves, who finished with 28 points and 16 assists. And our newest rando white guy, Jake LaRavia, had 27 points. We have the team Celtics fans wish they had.

fleshwound_NPG

last time toronto won the world series:

-mlb was about to shut down, giving the nfl its dominance forever
-gop was about to win the house for the first time in ages, and would not lose it but a couple of meaningless times since
-fox was about to become a dominant broadcasting power, taking control of nfl and soon mlb rights, and soon everything else in the world with its news channel
-microsoft had a decent windows operating system and was working on a new one to change the world forever

look, dirtball leafs, i swear if you win and make the world worse again…

blaxabbath

So the Louisiana Governor is going to have LSU’s next head coach sign a contract that is not going to ‘reward failure’.

I’m sure the Tiger faithful will have no problem finding a gem in their available head coach candidate pool.

Governor Stupid’s quote:

I’m not going to be picking the next coach, but I can promise you we’re gonna pick a coach and we’re gonna make sure that that coach is successful. We’re gonna make sure that he’s compensated properly, and we’re gonna put metrics on it because I’m tired of rewarding failure in this country and then leaving the taxpayers to foot the bill.

Always a fan of the MAGA assumption that they’re gonna pursue riches by going cheap on brainpower.

Then again…it has brought my taxes down to absurdly low levels that “seem about right” to these same math wizards/kid-fuckers.

Redshirt

Pandering bullshit! What business does the Governor of a state have to do with College Fo-

Lt. Governor Jim Tressel | Governor Mike DeWine

Last edited 4 months ago by Redshirt
fleshwound_NPG

if we are gonna start testing nukes again at least use the ai generated videos that trump is given to watch (and post) and give him the big, big booms he wants to see

you can even have it in the upper atmosphere above the chicago skyline if you want to!

ballsofsteelandfury

We really need to go back to this:

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ballsofsteelandfury

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SonOfSpam

Nuke watch party on a bar roof. That was livin!

Doktor Zymm

Radioactive s’mores!

SonOfSpam

You can really taste the strontium!

Sharkbait

Party at the Atomic Lounge!

Doktor Zymm

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Do you think Moo Deng is any relation to Hippo?

Redshirt

But…but…the experts say the Dodgers are the better team. What about the experts???? The experts?!??!?!?!

fleshwound_NPG

dodgers could not handle yesavage in the kingdom ye madness, where ye cream always rises to ye top

oh yeeeeeee

macho-man-cream
Mr. Ayo

For fucks sake, the 🔱🔱🔱 could have beat this sad sack shit of a team.

Brick Meathook

5-1 is the most dangerous lead in baseball.

WCS

Things get real dicey at 6-1…

SonOfSpam

Damn, this kid is pitching his ass off. Good for him and Canadia.

blaxabbath

Wait — so is Trump threatening to cut off NYC? Or is Cuomo his Sinema for this?

fleshwound_NPG

dave roberts vs bullpen

simpsons-cereal-fire
WCS

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SonOfSpam

Absolute top tier Simpsons one-and-done character.

BC Dick

He’s Karl’s brother

Doktor Zymm

Nov 5th will be the Beaver Moon

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ve seen that movie

WCS

Is that one of the later Twilight books?

ballsofsteelandfury

Dugger is actually going to PIT from NE, but it doesn’t really matter, does it?

Redshirt

Not quite.

IMG_2280
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s perfect!

Doktor Zymm

Butter chicken pizza and a mango lassi sounds like a good idea. Where would we be (for dinner options) without immigrants?

Sharkbait

Im scouting out Indian places when I go to London. Empire Empire is at the top of the list. Though going back to The Chili Pickle in Brighton might be worth the day trip on the weekend

ballsofsteelandfury

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ballsofsteelandfury

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Doktor Zymm

Although might be smaller since the pickle is chili

Sharkbait

No pickles, but plenty of chili was involved.

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blaxabbath

Wow. That looks muy authentico.

Doktor Zymm

I’m reading a mystery series set in Delhi where the detective eats a lot. The last book was set in London, specifically East Ham, so might want to check out that neighborhood for Desi food

ballsofsteelandfury

The fact there is a West Ham footy club now makes a lot more sense …

Doktor Zymm

East Ham probably has a cricket team

SonOfSpam

Another Dodgers’ Kike homer.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THESE DODGERS I CALL THEM RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY DURING HIGH SCHOOL AND AN EMBARRASSINGLY LONG TIME THEREAFTER BECAUSE ALL THE SCORING THEY ARE DOING IS VIA SOLO SHOTS.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Toronto Blue Jays right now (artist’s conception):

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ArmedandHammered

But how soft and clear is their skin?

Horatio Cornblower

Putting the TV on where a wildlife biologist had a camera on a mountain lion den where one pup was abandoned and spent 21 days calling for its family before finally leaving the den itself and I’m sorry to the wildlife biology profession but if that’s my camera I’m bringing home a new cat Day 4.

ArmedandHammered

Gonna be up your way the weekend after Thanksgiving, so Pepe’s is the best pizza, right.

Horatio Cornblower

Modern. Also in New Haven.

If you’re in the New Haven area and really want to do the whole Connecticut apizza thing, (lesson 1: it’s pronounced “Abeetz”), hit Modern, Bar, Pepe’s, Sally’s and definitely make a quick trip to West Haven, (Lesson the Second: East and West Haven are called ‘The Stavens’ and are full of racists who won’t go to New Haven because there are too many of “those people”), for a Zuppardi’s sausage pie.

You’ll thank me later. Your arteries and colon will never forgive me.

I’d say to get in touch by Mrs. Horatio and I may be heading to Key West that week. just had a trial unexpectedly settle.

Last edited 4 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
Redshirt

It’s either this or we cull the herd for the good of the species.

IMG_2271
Horatio Cornblower

I have absolutely no idea what the “6 7” thing is.

I DID NOT ASK FOR AN EXPLANATION!!!

Mr. Ayo

Don’t worry, the kids have moved on to “4 1” now.

SonOfSpam

I had no idea until I watched Cartman puke.

South Park is educational. And oh so fucking wrong this season.

King Hippo

#MeToo

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is it the age that Donald Trump was when he finally stopped molesting children because he couldn’t get an erection anymore?

blaxabbath

I figured the molestation goes on long after the erection.

It’s his version of chomping on a cigar.

Doktor Zymm

As far as I can tell it’s a new music genre for innumerate people

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Props to the lady at Trader Joe’s who responded to my question on if they had graham cracker crumbs with “we have graham crackers that you can hit with a hammer”

Last edited 4 months ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
SonOfSpam

I hope you asked her to write down the recipe.

ArmedandHammered

Maybe it’s a secret, like Polish ice making.

ArmedandHammered

So, artesian small batch graham cracker crumbles manually produced with family heirloom tools. Surprised Fresh Market doesn’t do that for $10 an oz.

ArmedandHammered

I guess that would be more William and Sonoma.

Doktor Zymm

Note to self, sell kitchen hammers that are somehow different from meat tenderizers

ArmedandHammered

Brute, I use one of a set of hand crafted mallets each made from aged and seasoned olive wood, hand carved in a village of artisans in a craft handed down for generations, a civilized method of pulverization in these uncouth times.

Bogdanski
blaxabbath

“Where you guys sell your packaged hammers?”