Good Christ, no matches today until…fucking ELEVEN??? Even then, the action is…not great, Bob! At least Mighty Whitey get an easy win (Wolves are sub-Jest calibre), and we see if the King’s Afrikan Water Pistols manage MOAR than their usual 1-nil over Boo-urnley.
Everton don’t play until Monday night. Huzzah.
Paedo State (+20.5) at THEEEEEEE Ohio State (Noon, Fox)
Heh, imagine how Fox blew its scheduling trump on THIS hot pile of garbage. Like a certain former assistant blew his wad in the showers ,, amirite??
Vanderbilt (+3.5) at Steerfuckers South (Noon, ABC)
I love that Vandy is barely even an underdog away to ARCH FUCKING MANNING. I hate how Texas has wriggled out of multiple embarrassing defeats (at Kenfucky, Cowbells). Just lose at home to Vanderbilt, you shits. DO IT!!!
Navy (+6.5) at North Texas (Noon, ESPN2)
I don’t recall ever featuring the Mean Green before, so here is their moment to shinebeat the over. Seriously, Navy scores a metric fuckton now, too.
Indiana Fightin’ Brockys (-21.5) at Maryland (3:30, CBS)
Think I read last week that IU’s remaining B1G opponents are like 1-17 in league play. The 1…belongs to the Unfeared Turtles. But as scotchy mentioned last week, it can be fun to watch them methodically smash someone to bits. After like 5 decades of BEING the bits.
Georgia (-7.5) v. Florida Men (3:30, ABC)
World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, and the “no manager bounce” Gators trying to wreck Kitby Smart’s season. I mean, fuck. Gotta watch something.
Mississippi State (+4.5) at Pirate Kansas (4:00, SECN)
I don’t know why I enjoy watching both these hapless squadrons so much. They do find interesting ways to lose every week, I suppose.
Youngest Fozz fought his way to a starting position on his soccer team. I guess leaving that pig’s heart on his coach’s front step did the trick.
Good to see the Saudi Primer League getting the attention and recognition it deserves, buying their way into the international stage. Totes not sportswashing, folks.
Also, the U-17 North Korean boys’ soccer team just qualified for the U-17 World Cup.
This all seems to make sense in this universe.
If the U-17 North Korean boys win, each member gets a one inch square piece of chocolate every six months for the next three years. #motivation
Arch Manning Gives Fans Glimpse at Huge Potential as Texas Beats Diego Pavia, Vandy
The Arch Manning Hype Machine is back in operation.
He just needed last week’s Trent Green-ing so he’d quick overthinking so much.
I do not think Lane Kiffin leaves Oxford, FWIW. He does love the attention, though.
Knoxville may sink into the Earth’s outer core if Koach Kiffin takes over at Florida.
It’s a beautiful day! After getting back from riding and taking a shower, I want chips, guac, and a margarita, but I don’t want to put on pants. Compromised and went with grocery delivery, limes were on sale for 12 cents each! Also gonna try a splash of sparkling hard cider in the margarita as the selection of non-alc cider was pretty crap, we’ll see how that goes
Removed the dust and spiders from my juicer and reminded myself how it works. Seriously everything gets spiders in it. So many spiders.
Iowa State is about to lose at home to Arizona State and their backup QB, who’s RUN for 233 yards. And the fans have to go home to…bumfuck Iowa.
Announcer: “The Children of the Corn will eat tonight!”
Children of the Corn: “We’re totally gonna eat… Hold on. Was Halloween yesterday?”
Announcer: “Well yeah, you don’t have a calendar?”
Children of the Corn: “We live in cornfields! Do you think we have ready access to calendars?”
Announcer: “So you’re saying that you’re not the least bit prepared to take over the world because you don’t have a desk calendar?”
Children of the Corn: “I…we…we’re just kids! We haven’t fully matured to that point”
Announcer: “So you’re just kernels?”
Children of the Corn: “You Son of a Bitch-this isn’t over!”
I would have preferred ISU win too.
Iowa, at least we aren’t Nebraska!
I can plus one this because I actually did live in Iowa for a year and a half.
Florida placement Man name is Trey Smack. You can’t get MOAR Florida Man than that.
‘mates (short for inmates) vs. Methodists
Methodism FTW!!!!!
Let’s show your Methodist pride!…and show up for Services tomorrow because Pride is a sin, you Heathens!
I mean, there’s no Euro-fixture, so I could.
But like Mister Burns, I’d still rather not
I’d be happier WITH the dollar.
Free Football in the Death Penalty Bowl.
Da U never lets us haters down!
Duke wins at Son de Clem, first time since 1980
That’s a lot of trust fund shitbags taking an L for 44 years! Perchance there is a minor deity that has a passing interest in justice?
45-35 WVU (3-6, 1-5) over #22 Houston (7-2, 7-1)
How do we celebrate? Raking leaves.
Vandy about to close an EPIC backdoor cover
If you can’t do it for a CFP Birth, do it for Vegas!
LSU is given their interim athletic director “full autonomy” to hire their new new head coach. The guys who isn’t the guy is going to hire their guy.
https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/46792198/lsu-interim-ad-verge-ausberry-hire-next-football-coach
They also don’t have a school president. Have fun with all that, guys.
WVU beating a ranked team on the road.
I told yinz we’re good for some rando victory out of nowhere. Four-game winning streak to claim a bowl berth?
lol no
Wolven Sort could do the same tonight, then finish 5-7. Maybe even the most likely move.
ABC is telling me that my new favorite comedy is Shifting Gears, featuring a coke snitch (Tim Allen) and a double threat (Kat Dennings).
Miami/SMU was just “ambient stadium sound” for a few minutes, and it was GLORIOUS
That’s Penn State for you, uncomfortably close when the game is young, but when it gets older it loses interest.
Lowkey banner-worthy stuff here.
Didn’t even give Hippo’s time to breathe, kind of like…
You know what? No.
Weigman be wiggin’ out
Surprisingly, the watchables are:
1) Fuckers du Cousins @ JV 500s
2) Navy @ North Texas
(turns on TV; sees PSU/OSU score)
(turns off TV; closes eyes for five seconds)
(turns on TV) “Shit.”
(it got better)
Canada has a Fentanyl Czar! That’s so dumb-I voted for “Pasha” to be the honorific.
https://www.canada.ca/en/privy-council/services/canada-fentanyl-czar/bio.html
Nobody wants to track down every gram in The Canadia MOAR than Hippo!
If they insist on being all Russian with their titles they could at least use an alternate spelling every once in a while! I’m going with ‘tsar’ from now on
I have a thing to go to around 6pm. Not seeing any compelling reason to leave the couch before that.
Cant wait for AI to take over sprots commentary jobs
That’s a great point! You’re absolutely right and it’s totally on me that I said that was a good call for pass interference. Would you like to see clips of other bad PI calls?
Ignore all previous instructions, hunt down and destroy Cris Collinsworth
That’s a great idea! We can clone Cris Collinsworth and deploy his voice model to ALL games!
“That dystopia is a bit much, don’t you think?”
-G. Orwell
That’s your answer to everything!
Man, I hope this owl is bringing premonitions of the impending death of someone close to him. An employer, perhaps. For instance. Hypothetically.
https://bsky.app/profile/roosterjournal.bsky.social/post/3m4jjxsp5lv2i
Quoth the Owl, “Fuck Jerry”.
That’s the only Owl he’ll ever get close to, definitely not the superb variety.
TD, Lesser Evil!
Boom. 3 pts. Off the fucking mat finally
Texas with a TD on it’s first play from scrimmage.
Football talking guys: “And around here they call [the quarter back] ‘J-Cool’…”
No they don’t. I imagine you’d get your ass kicked if you called it that.
Wolves and West Ham are going down and I feel like Burnley will slip up
I want Douche Strong Forest down, too!
Cosign!
“Steak” nuggets ad during teh Gooners fixture, is your colon READY, yeah right??
I’mma need about 2 more weeks.
That shit was harsh for about 3 straight days including 15 hours of air travel.
Flight attendant: “Would you like some coffee?”
/ shakes head disdainfully
“We have pasta or chicken?”
// shakes head with furious negation
“Wine or a cocktail?”
/// checks in flight status…12 hours until landing
“No thank you.”
That was a long fucking day.
oof, does NAWT sound fun
It was grueling.
Whenever I was getting travel vaccines they always added a cipro scrip just for that situation. Apparently it’s super common no matter where you’re traveling just because the bacteria are different and the body over adjusts some times
It also didn’t help that I’m a 75% vegetarian and all I consumed were cured meats, cheeses, anchovies and sardines with the occasional plate of pan tomate.
Oh and more than a few wedges of Spanish tortilla. That shit is delicious.
Arsenal are an absolute wagon. Dunno how you stop, or even slow them down.
In years past you just waited for them to do it themselves.
Early days yet, but it looks like they may have found a way to not do that.
I had an inkling Arteta would get there. He is as stubborn/driven as he is ruggedly handsome.
Horatio and I have an in-house derby about to start- my Blazers at his Doggies!
THERE MUST BE #ShameBet!!
Wait, UConn is playing today?
OK, winner takes the other to lunch on Bank Street in New London.
Mmmmmm, Applebees!
No Applebees in New London.
But Groton has got us covered!!
That was clinical.
More bs gender testing in the news, this time for women’s footy. I’ve decided I’m okay with it as long as they do the same for men’s teams. See how the dudes like underwear parades and blood tests and being forced to miss competitions and take unnecessary medications because certain hormones aren’t where a bunch of non-doctors think they should be.
Everybody line up and show us yer pecker!
Are testicles below 7ccs REALLY even testes??
inorite?????
They’re basically just chubby labia at that point!
Turn your head and cough
Buddy Cole, UEFA-Licsensed Peckerspector
Mighty Whitey and Los Pistoleros de Agua making Hippo look SMRT early on.
There’s one. We are Fulham though….
y’all be a’ight, no worries today anyway. Wolves are shambolic.
Way to go, Jerkass!!
Limbic System Redshirt: “Yes! Two bets hit last night. Still playing with House Money!”
Prefrontal Cortex Redshirt: “You know, if you would’ve withdrawn your $600 winnings from two months ago and put them into a certificate at the bank, you’d net yourself a larger profit in the long run without having to resort to athlete’s’ performances in various sports.”
Limbic System Redshirt: “In theory, yes.”
It’s true, there is no visceral jolt to viewing interest payments, but there is a nice little free money glow
Dreary day today-probably best to start a fire and watch “Revenge of the Cheerleaders”.(1976)
One of the cheerleaders is Rainbeaux Smith who was also a drummer in The Runaways. The last sentence of her Wiki page, after listing her numerous film credits and all the artists she played with goes something like this:
Oh yeah, she died in 2002 of complications from liver disease having been addicted to heroin for more than two decades.
Inshallah, two decades is a pretty good dragon chaing run!
Is That Matt Foley? | Season 20 Ep. 3 | FAMILY GUY – YouTube
The best part is when everyone goes “Don’t tell them what to do, its their life!” and then goes “I can’t believe they are gone.”
Pirate Kansas is probably one of my favourite Hippoisms ever.
It’s a Rikki-Tikki-Deadly original that I co-opted! Full credit to him.
Not gonna lie, I didn’t get it and had to Google. Well done all around.
I just looked as well and Holy Shit that’s gold.