Last one on the docket-smoke ’em if ya got ’em.
To The Game!
Lions/Eagles:
-Does it matter one bit if Philly takes an L here? Yes, of course it matters for playoff seeding but they’ve got a frixkin’ 3.5 game lead on 2nd place and you know Dallas is going to pile up more losses.
-Were I an Eagles fan I would be a bit worried about the offensive identity when they get into the meat of the playoffs. What tried-and-true set of plays are they going to fall back on? Or maybe Sirriani is way ahead of all of us (something a Philly stan would never admit to theyselves) and is exploring the playbook because he can always fall back on Saquon and Brown.
-Speaking of playbooks, Campbell took possession of the Lions script in the hopes of getting Williams a bit more action. We’ll see how that turns out.
-LaPorta was placed on IR and it’s a long, long way down to Brock Wright, a blocking specialist and special teamer. (he’ll score a 3 yard TD because Campbell will call in a favor with Tomlin and throw The Voodoo my way)
That’s enough-I’m tired of typing.
Hey Alexa get me some sizurp.
We are living in a world where the Kansas City Chiefs are in the 9-seed. The NFL is going to go into overtime to get the Chiefs to the #7. It wouldn’t surprise me if before SNF ends they disqualify the Houston Texans from Postseason Competition for infringing upon the Tennessee Titans’ Territorial Rights.
Oh, hey. No one has made the “Houston is literally the (.)500 team right now at 5-5” joke.
There is no team in Houston.
Silly me. I must have made up a team that never existed.
So Stillers vax denying shithead QB got hurt and was replaced by the maga trumphumper shithead QB. (in a quest to replace the dumb rapist shithead QB)
It’d be nice, for once, to have the QB for my team a person that I didn’t utterly loathe.
Will Howard seemed to be well-adjusted at OSU.
There are more country “music” award shows than stars in the Milky Way. Every fucking week with these.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJDKgdPATvA
They are the easiest rubes to dazzle with baubles and trophies.
Oh, wait a minute. Today’s L.A. Rams kits are just University of Michigan kits.
Just when I think this year cannot get any worse, I’m now in a position to defend the University of Michigan?!
You don’t have to be anywhere forever.
Speaking of Rough Riders, we really do have the government we deserve.
https://xcancel.com/RnaudBertrand/status/1990079626689884324#m
What is xcancel? Did I step into the Dark Web? Am I on yet a list?
Many a list you on already be Yoda say would.
you can read x/twitter tweets without actually needing x/twitter
Now you tell me! I created one. Not with my actual name, but I created one.
RedshirtRox69 won’t keep the NSA off your trail for long.
Ha, shows what you know. Its RoseTunic
Sounds like a satanic cult
There’s another site using the API called lightbrd. The original site is nitter. So, yeah …
https://status.d420.de/
“Hey, I don’t want my name associated with any of those assholes.”
-Satan
Twitter API client like Fleshwound said. I use it to follow a handful of accounts so I get a nice spectrum of views from Balkan fascists, MAGAts, China stans, and burnt-out leftists. You know, the people who all hate liberals.
Decent football day but we listened to Romo, Brady and Olsen as commenters.
“Guess what? If the offense brings more juice, we can get an explosive chunk play!”
Jesus wept.
the only time i wanna see more juice during an explosive chunk play is me creaming during some PAWG porn
STOP. DROP. SET ‘EM DOWN, OPEN UP SHOP.
https://youtu.be/ThlhSnRk21E
Pretty sure I’m falling asleep during halftime.
That’s fun that Darren Sharper invited you to watch the game with him.
Also would have accepted Bill Cosby.
I did not put the pills in the chocolate pudding!
Oh, they’ll be partying in Regina tonight!
Which, now that I type that out, sounds like the first film in a porno franchise.
franchise kinda ran out of steam after partying in regina IV
Boogie in your Butte.
BTW, I say “Being Eddie” on Netflix and that motherfucker’s videos have insane numbers of views on YouTube. He mentioned Party All The Time was up to 193 million views and Boogie was like 80M. But when he said 193M, I thought, “Wow. That’s enough views to pay him like ten cents on Spotify.”
Think of LARRY!!!!
Rough Riders! Roughriders! Who knows? Yay them!
Found a funny:
https://bsky.app/profile/lillikoifish.bsky.social/post/3m5ru77o4r22z
my favorite version
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJdgErAfiRQ
Ugh, all these drugs with their ghastly side effects.
We need more with ones like: WARNING – Taking Chilantrix may result in feeling totally fucking awesome and sudden giggling.
We call that drug ” marijuana”
I call it bourbon.
Too many side effects.
Well, I guess if you’re gonna tear your hamstring off the bone you might as well do it with about a minute left in the title game
A Datson is the reliability level of this Eagles offense.
Compared to American cars in 1978 or compared to modern Japanese sedans?
Modern is regressing back a bit. You mean compared to, say, a 1990s Honda that you could drive for a million miles?
Guy from Saskatchewan who just got the major foul looks exactly like the kind of guy who would get a major foul with a minute-and-a-half left in a close game for all the marbles.
I was about to say AJ Oulette should be the MVP, too. lol
Are the kickers getting worse or is it something else? Because we also have the guys who are kicking 70 yards accurately.
Willams, you are one true fucking bonehead
PRAISE TO YOU SHANK’LOR
SUDDEN CHANGE IN THE GREY CUP, AS MONTREAL FUMBLES AT THE GOAL LINE. THREE MINUTES TO GLORY, SASKATCHEWAN!!
Everyone gets back bacon!
glad to see Campbell’s pre halftime motivation speech helping Goff finally
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKb6Ik0Jm3s
1 Meathead Coach + 1 Meathead Coach = 2 Field Goals. New math makes for shitty football.
That comment aged quickly and poorly
You know how a commercial is ass? It pisses one off to the point they actively respond in a negative manner, AND one forgets whatever product the commercial was for.
Yes, I am cranky and old, dagnnabit!
I remember commercials growing up, they were entertaining and awesome. today’s commercials eat ass.
No. They’ve always been ass.
I try to remember the product so I can specifically not buy it
Luckily, there isn’t a lot of diversity of ads during football. Gambling, cars, financial products, and food I wouldn’t serve to a dog, and I hate dogs. None of them are things I’d ever consider buying anyway.
THAT SAID
There is an increasingly large group of “genuine” actors and celebrities in commercials who don’t need to be and who, if I didn’t already want to see them liquified, I sure as fuck do after seeing them in these ads. Dan Soder has a great bit I’ve seen a couple times pop up on Youtube. Why are Kevin Hart and LeBron James doing gambling ads when they are worth billions? The only possible justification would be if, say, Hart owes the IRS $250 million,
and I hate dogs.
-M. Vick
His mistake was breeding more of those fucking demon dogs.
Dear God,
Thank you for Allison Brie’s tits.
Your friend forever,
JJ Fozz
Not gonna lie, I was a little underwhelmed when they finally came out in GLOW.
h
ttps://celebjihad.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/t_alison_brie_nude_sex_glow_hd2.jpg
Ms. Brie is, regardless of my surprise, sensationally attractive, if maybe far too old for Matt Gaetz.
I will love tits. Now and forever. I have been a tit man since birth. Jesus god is there anything better? Okay, my kids. But tits are a close second.
It did seem odd that after she started showing them off and then went full frontal that she still went with a giant merkin. But to sort of defend Horatio, she was too fit from making GLOW. Her tits from the Fappening leaks were when she was fleshier and I do like those ones more. Plus, the impropriety of them being stolen, of course.
Wait, someone stole her boobs!?!?
I do think she had gotten a lot leaner to do the GLOW show, (heh, that rhymes), which is likely why I was surprised after all that bouncing on ‘Community’
Scarlett Johannson had the same problem going nude after being cast into the MCU workout and HGH cult.
When women lose weight and get fit, their boobs tend to tighten up and flatten out a bit.
Stands to reason, as when I do the opposite my boobs get bigger.
Am I wrong in feeling like this game could/should 24-17 right now?
Started Jalen Hurts & Dallas Godert in fantasy today. Need them to have a big game.
That would be Rockingggg!!! 🏈🙏
Oh, you know Fatthew is just salivating about next week’s visit by Baker.
BTW, what the Hell does Lincoln have to do with Philadelphia?
His only visit there resulted in him getting mugged
He obviously never learned to keep his head on a swivel.
If we were transported back in time to the middle ages, how long do you think it would take before we were all burned as witches? Four, five, seconds?
?w=281&h=221
Definitely by sundown of the first day.
Probably when I turned around and gave the local bishop the double bird and told him to fuck off.
Bring a boomstick with a lot of shells or slugs.
Hail to the King, baby.
Look, maybe I didn’t say every single little tiny syllable, no. But basically I said them, yeah.
You and I wouldn’t make it through the day, but I suspect white men would get a pass. They usually do.
/driving 65 mph in reverse through a school zone while waving a 3/4 empty bottle of Jack Daniels out the window with one hand and shooting holes in the roof with a .45 with the other
The hell you say!!
halfass checking roster…yay made right call not playing Ridley….im sure hell do better next week…checks to see line and sees season ending injury on first play
If i encounter one reavens fan this week who even mentions teh playoffs I will spear them through the throat with a trident dipped in rat poison. christ do we suck shit.
This Montreal Alouettes defense, I call them August Ames because they’re getting the ball rammed down their throat, and it’s slowly killing them
Philly must lose.
Cause all of their fans are fuckheads.
Also fuck their head coach.
Also, fuck them.
GO WHITE BOY
* ahem *
En esta casa no entra Collinsworth
MUERTE A COLLINSWORTH
SHUT UP, CRIS!
BANNER
DFO Battle Cry
Grey Cup halftime performance rating?
Go Birds
The Chicago Bears are currently in 1st Place in the NFC North. Everyone okay with Jesus or the deity of your choice?
The flying spaghetti monster? sure
HAIL ZOIDBERG
I feel bad for you credulous religious types who buy into these silly childhood myths. Spaghetti monsters can’t fly!
R’amen!
He hath touched Da Bears with his noodley appendage…
The whole league is made up of fake teams like last year’s Vikings.
Some just haven’t been exposed yet.
last times the bears won the division in the 21st century
2001: 9/11
2005: katrina
2006: the precipice of the recession that started in 2007
2010: tea party gop wins, the forerunner of maga
2018: the last year before covid existed
2025?: cannot get any worse, right? right?
bonus: those were all the years the bears made the playoffs, plus one year they made it as a wild card:
2020.
Well, he barely turned down the devil when he was tempted in the desert, so maybe he finally caved
Heard online: “Shedeur played more like She-don’t”
Ah, yes, the 60 Minutes clock.
Your signal that the weekend is about to end and that it’s time to drink out of sadness instead of drinking because you’re happy it’s the weekend.
Sometimes, I still worry that I have homework due on mondays
Just had one of those goddamn “I’m in college and haven’t attended the class I’m about to take the final exam in” the other night.
I’ve been having those more and more often in the last year. And more with either or both parents, including last night. Something is FUBAR.
At least the test one or just finding the fucking classroom (HS, so yeah, I am doubly fucked up) I’m beginning to tell myself “Fuck it. Let them do their worst.”
Okay. Enough therapy talk. But JFC this fucking game fucking sucks.
MGK is massive downgrade from Shania Twain. Shame on you CFL.
We could have sent them Carrie Magawood.
On the other hand, way better than listening to Collinsworth.
SHUT THE FUCK UP CHRIS!
Should just put up a Hip cover band
still alive after this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxQTY-W6GIo
What, Loverboy too good to play the Grey Cup?
UPDATE: Ramsey is still an asshole, but there is footage on Chase spitting on him. Seeing how this season is going, I’m not surprised in the least.
Both are spittable names
Oh, that’s their last names. Sorry. I’m slow today.
looking forward to this game for AJ Brown to be spitting Sirianni
mutual assured destruction
Oh, that’s the big guy’s name. Rolando. He was a Cardinal and played NFL Europe.
would be even more impressed if his name was Richelieu
/Rimshot
SMH I cant even enjoy the bears victory for half if a day…
I’m going to start prop betting my fantasy opponents. If there’s someone we’re both playing against we should throw cash at em
My opponent has Javonte Williams playing tomorrow night.
I swear sometimes I day dream about stocking my league with dummy accounts to give me an edge. Used to be everyone knew everyone in the league, now they’re all strangers.
Yes, I am day dreaming about cheating at fantasy football because i am THAT FUCKING tired of losing.
God damned I am pathetic
currently in a barely losing battle vs some deseperate guy starting TreVeyon Henderson and Sean Tucker gaaaaaah
If it wasn’t for a perfectly rational fear that it would end up with me being lined up against a wall to be shot, I’d start rooting for Trump just to give him my bad luck.
47/57 for 452 yards with 2 TD and 2 INT. Its amazing how much Garbage Time can make your stat line look way better than it really was.
TV: “Up next, Star Trek: DS9 episode “The Visitor”, wherein a future Jake Sisko tells the story about how he lost his father quite possibly the saddest episode in the franchise.”
Nope! Not ready to watch that. Way too soon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnI30mIKW2k
Coverage began at 5:00, but between the end of Red Zone and this, the Universo muzak is pretty good and even though it’s just a text screen I don’t have to look at the Red Skull.
broncos got 147 penalty yards and the chiefs still lost
the only way the chiefs make the playoffs now is by outright and obvious points shaving by everyone ahead of their 5-5 asses
Goodell is busy sending the AFC Wild Card standings to Trump for some “help”. Expect to find some players on the Epstein List soon.
Deal!
— NFL Referees Association
good times if you root for dark blue/orange teams nowadays, but not for late game blood pressure reasons, tho
lay off the polish sausage if you live in chicago or denver for your heart’s sake
If I’m stuck in either city, I’m taking the tastiest, fastest way out.