Which is to say Tyrod Taylor is QB1 for the Jets. At least for this week. I will say, considering I drafted Fields somewhere in the mid-rounds I will consider it a substantial victory if I make the playoffs in Freezer Vodka. But anyway, Taylor in, Fields out, probably no coaches getting fired.
As opposed to Jets players getting shot, which did happen, but Kris Boyd is in stable condition.
Speaking of other injury news:
–No Penix for the rest of the year (ACL)
–Marvin Harrison, Jr. is out against DUUUUVAL (appendix)
–Our souls are questionable for Sunday (Shadeur will start for #ThePauls)
-Too Many Cooks is now any positive number of Cooks in New Orleans, which is to say Brandin Cooks has been waived by the Saints.
Great, what’s on?
Wednesday Night MACtion:
Definitely not Dolphins vs. Bills, but we’d understand you for getting confused. (Miami (OH) vs. Buffalo (Bulls), 7:00, ESPN2)
Hockey Tonight
-Really Wasting McJesus there vs. Please be Ovi’s last season (EDM vs. WSH, 7:00, TNT)
-Vichy Whalers vs. Still Not Worthy of Being “Wild” (CAR vs. MIN, 9:30, TNT)
Inside Inside the NBA (it’s just the roast of Charles Barkley by Shaquille O’Neal)
-“Dream Shake” would actually be an interesting idea if Hakeem wanted to market it vs. Not gambling on baseball, probably (HOU vs. CLE, 7:00, ESPN)
-The Jalen Brunson Memorial Cup (though he’s questionable) (NYK vs. DAL, 9:30, ESPN)
JV John Tesh:
-Fat Dog vs. ULowratio (Arizona vs. UConn, 7:00, FS1)
-Wait, isn’t this just a channel during March Madness? Though it does involve the First Four team (Dayton vs. Marquette, 7:30, TruTV)
-Well, they’re not winning football this year so screw it vs. Just like Quiet Riot did (Alabama vs. Illinois, 9:00, FS1)
May my jokes hit better than Chubby Kingman with advantage these days! Yeah, he’s running laps as we speak. Tying run on 2nd, nobody out, advantage +1, rolling an 11 will tie the game, and… nope. 13 games without a homer and counting for the guy with an 18+ homer on his card. More on that after the road trip concludes, in which there will be a Nocturnes Magazine recapping the good (Dakota Story) and the bad (Chubby, the bullpen kinda?)
I was falling asleep an hour ago. Cigarettes are magic, y’all.
If the Black Panthers make the playoffs, is Dave Canananannalas Coach of the Year?
I wagered on Dan Campbell in preseason. The Rams will falter, Mike Vrabel ain’t that endearing, and Vance Joseph ain’t eligible.
Other side: Lions have zero outdoor games pending and everyone will forget the loss to Philly by next week.
And if Sirianni wins COtY, burn all houses tsking NFL action because it’s rigged.
RAMMMMMIT will not falter. McVay will blow up a federal building before he lets that happen.
Great, we’re now on another list…
I stand by my wishcasting
/flips imaginary silk scarf
Honestly, you seem more like an ascot guy. Either peach or mauve.
Use promo code “COTY” at DraftKings for 500x your initial wager!
Oh, found a funny IRL today–I saw a Ford F-150 with a bumper sticker that said “Please be patient, I’m only 9 years old”
“You followed him home, right?”
-J. Fogle, eating a prison veggie sweet onion footlong (that’s prison lingo for blowing some guy involuntarily)
Why can’t we hibernate again?
I’ve never hibernated once. Lucky for you.
Welcome to Cowtown.
https://youtu.be/MLTlvc9soHU?si=k8g42w0OV_4S4Yzk
🎶Beneath the waves, the waves, and that’s where I will be. I’m gonna see the cow beneath the sea🎶
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/47016990/shedeur-sanders-faq-expectations-cleveland-browns-rookie-starting-qb1-week-12
The Pauls set to start SON OF PRIME this week. Sanders will be the 42nd different starting quarterback since they “returned” in 1999. That is a dozen more than the next franchise.
Don’t stick with a loser.
Michael Bidwell’s sexuality aside, not sticking with a loser quarterback has historically been the Cardinals’ path to their successes.
Cardinals’ good quarteredbacks:
1) Kurt Warner
ix) Jake Plummer?
quatre) Jim Hart?
Any Bidwell’s sexuality vis-a-vis goats and other pack animals aside, that’s not a very inspiring list.
“Am I a hero? I really can’t say but yes.”
.-Michael Scott
This pineapple ginger margarita is hitting the right spot.
I must have that. Email me one immediately.
(Homemade or did you <shudder> leave the house?)
Oh, homemade. We actually went out for a mai tai last night at Damon’s – the Tiki place that Balls wrote up. The cocktail was nice but their happy hour menu didn’t include any burgers or anything (just appetizers) so I was a little disappointed.
When you said “Tyrod” I thought you were talking about an item you might have on hand to fend Mark Sanchez off when he assaulted you while you were trying to park your truck.
My middle son just got accepted into the bio program at Iowa.
studying scienctification so he can become the next dr fauci smh
Congrats middle fozz. Keep up the hard work
Guess we know who is no longer your least favorite Avenger.
Excellent. He won’t be fun to watch, but he’ll be solid and always qualify for a bowl game.
yeah bowl of bat soup maybe smh lab leak was right about everything 5g magnets fauci ouchie ivermectin saves lives
#ShamePizza order placed.
12 slices of barbeque chicken pizzaness on the way.
I made carnitas with the slow cooker. Used a different cut of mean so it’s not really possible to finish it in the toaster oven – too lean – but it’s still pretty tasty.
Had leftover pot roast. Used it to make tacos
Interesting, what cut of mean?
I realize that rooting against a team that is popular with blax is a very Connecticut thing to do.
This is an elite rendition of the cats. Very excited to see what this squad does. Lloyd seems unafraid.
Oh I wonder if I could switch nodes on my VPN and just watch the rest of this UConn game on “preview pass”. Let’s give it a shot!
I’m guessing not though; they probably put a cookie on my browser or something. Unless…oh, never mind, I’m not installing a different browser just for this.
Yeah, it didn’t work. You’re too crafty for me, Fox!
In future news…
How does someone manage to get shot in Midtown? And in front of a haberdashery!
(ok, it’s 4 doors down from the haberdashery, CLOSE ENOUGH TO SAY HABERDASHERY)
Hipsters moving into midtown? Trying to get shot before it’s cool?
Speedholes r the new black smh
Indeed. No one even threatened me with so much as a knife while I was there.
According to Fox News, everyone is shot all the time when they’re not being raped.
Hell, I won’t even watch The Jeffersons reruns anymore.
Except me. All criminals are a poor shot and only like me as a friend.
According to Long Islanders, once you cross the border, immediately bullets start flying.
“Hats off’ to the shooter.