Or are we getting tough, chewy sinew? We’ve got four games under our belt featuring more than a few primo teams so let’s check into the detritus.
To The Games!
Niners/Browns:
Might we have another snow game? At the very least it should be blowy and not in a good way. Judkins leads all rook rb’s in rushing but is there all that much competition? Most peers are injured, part of a committee or like Jeanty, bogged down in an unimaginative offense. Garrett is on a ridiculous tear with an incredible 14 sacks in his last five fixtures. The sack record-only 5 away-is a foregone conclusion.
Jags/Titans:
Tennessee doesn’t seem to have that much talent but things are looking up in that Ward has strung together two straight half-decent games and could ambush the up-and-down Jags. Plus, at only one win the Titans have the luxury of adding to their total and not seriously impacting their draft spot. Afterall, they’re drafting an o-lineman or trading down for same.
Texans/Colts:
I like both these squadoos because they each have interesting pieces in place and I’m curious what the GM’s do from here-splashy free agent signing or continue with the young building blocks through the draft? There’s always the pressure to win right now. How does Jones navigate that insane Houston pass rush that is feeling its oats? (among other things)
Saints/Fins:
Rook rb Devin Neal is of interest here, if you’re a fantasy manager willing to take a flyer. You’d think that New Orleans would like to see what they have on their hands what with Kamara creeping up there age-wise. McDaniel is going to fend off the firing wolves yet again isn’t he?
Falcons/Jets:
I’d wager you’d be surprised to know that Atlanta has the third-most sacks in the league to date. And yet that somehow hasn’t translated into defensive dominance or a reputation of any kind, really. The team doesn’t even have a clue as to how to feature the 2nd-most gifted rb in the league. (I’d put Gibbs first for now)
Rams/Panteros:
There have been more unlikely upsets (these same Panthers beating Green Bay on the road comes to mind) but the Rams are on a different plane altogether and riding a six game win streak. During that time they’ve averaged 30.5 points and I just don’t think a Dowdle-centric offense can get there.
Cards/Bucs:
Stupid Arizona. With Harrison out (and he can’t get volume targets at the best of times) Michael Wilson has gone bologna salad with 25 snatches for 303 yards. I don’t understand Gannon’s approach whatsoever. With Los Panteros likely losing it is imperative that the Bucs put this one to bed and gain some more breathing room in the division.
Enjoy.
Don’s Tits are run by a woman? Perfect.
Holee Shit! They got the takeaway!
Missed it. 🙁
The one time Reddit is useful.
Anyway, Stafford has reverted to Lions Mode.
Fucking … How are the receivers making me feel bad for fucking Sanders?
Indiana Jones has reached the Crystal Skull point of the season.
Stafford forgot he’s not a Lion
Panteros need one more takeaway-might be too big of an ask
Black Panthers with a bomb. Newton et al. would be proud
Looking through my phone lists and it seems in March 2024 I thought through a Rocky reboot starring Michael Cera as Rocky and even put together a cast list.
Notes?
I think I’d go with jack black or Wilford brimley as Creed instead.
Soundtrack?
I hadn’t got that far. That’s a good question. I was imagining a shot-for-shot remake so it wasn’t an issue.
Or – and I think this is valid – every song is eye of the tiger. Different parts of the song but that’s the only one.
The latter seems like more fun.
Chris Tucker as Adrian’s brother.
Yes. Perfect choice. Dressed the same as the original I think.
This one i actually like
You need a cornier black guy for Creed, like Russell Wilson.
He’d be even more insufferable on a movie set. I like it.
Drake.
Whoa. Good call.
Flip it. Lizzo as Rocky, Kevin Hart as Adrian, Michael Cera as Creed.
Disney has greenlit a $200 million budget
There it is. Out of the park. Cera would be much better as the antagonist. And Lizzo doing the stair run, imagine it. We’d stop at the third one and just do a loop.
Yeah. This has to be 2024, pre-Ozempic Lizzo
I haven’t seen a New York jet move like that since 9/11
Arizona vs. Tampa Bay: I’m rooting for an act of a merciful god to smite this game from a pentitent earth
Holy shit, Puka!
Browns being Browns
When Los Panteros’ defense wants to play…
THESE GUYS THE REFS IN THE 49ERS-BROWNS GAME I CALL THEM REVEREND SHAW MOORE BECAUSE THEY ARE PREVENTING A DANCE FROM OCCURRING.
JFC.
it says everything about this slate that I came to this sports bar to be social and it’s fucking deserted.
There is literally one table of dudes and me. So if I disappear you know why.
That’s so Browns.
This ad for Pluvincto is like if Happy Fun Ball was medicine.
Fuck, I meant to swap out Jeudy for Shaheed. Shadoobie couldn’t find his ass with both hands and a flashlight, there’s no way he can find a receiver. Oh well, I’m getting relegated anyway, it really doesn’t matter.
My team quietly stinks. I think you got me this week.
When I die, bury me with a bottle of bourbon and an order of shrimp toast.
And upside-down, of course
DONNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG
Settled in for pregame.
I haven’t had a draft beer going on two years now.
/where did I go wrong?
Now there’s the username / comment synergy I come here for…
So that’s interesting. In Yahoo, if a player fumbles during a kick return it counts againt them in their fantasy score,even though it’s a special teams play and they don’t get credit for any yards or tds from those plays
I thought you got the TDs but not the yards. Maybe just my league.
I think you should get both. Make it interesting to take a chance on a waterbug or whippet back who returns kicks.
Standard is the TD goes on the D/ST score rather than the player, so kinda BS that fumbles don’t go on D/ST too
Oh yeah, that’s what it is.
I agree with that. If it’s D/ST the ST points should all go on there, plus or minus. It’s worth a letter, I think. To the league commissioner if not yahoo itself.
With the Arsenal game over I was about to take the dog for a walk, then remove all the leaves from the driveway before we get 1″-3″ (Deanna Favre joke goes HERE), on Tuesday.
But it’s raining, so I guess I’ll just watch football.
/turns on TV
//Falcons vs. Jets
Ah fuck it, a little rain never killed anyone.
I think Guardian caps are fun. They make football look like a video game where the players have comically oversized heads.
Dad: “you know, if you’re so frustrated with fantasy football, you should stop playing …
Me: but then what will I waste my valuable time making memes about?
FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN!
(by which I mean Matt Stafford just threw a pick six)
Two-fer!
In morbid curiosity, I got the Jimmy John’s Toasted Pizza Sub. I don’t know what they think is marinara sauce, but its not marinara sauce. I may be watching the 1PM slates worshiping the Greek God Porcelain.
Quiznos always used to turn me into a faucet. Thankfully they have all gone under up here.
I liked Quiznos. There’s only one left around here but they’ve changed something about their “traditional”, ironically, and it’s no longer worth making the effort to acquire.
“That’s our special Melanoma sauce. Please read the small print.”
-Jimmy John’s
Maybe it’s the special skyline version of marinara sauce….
Hey, my RedZone works in Italy! Guess I am Nawt putting my shoes back on and going out for another walktonight!
I don’t think I hate Chelsea as much as Litre does, but I would like to see them star in a real-life recreation of ‘Alive.’
That said, they deserved to win that game. Arsenal’s effort left a lot to be desired.
Oh I fucking hate those cunts as much as the Cowboys.
Is there any reason to keep Caleb Williams on my FF roster?
Who would you pick up?
A hooker.
Ha ha, just kidding, that’s a fantasy rugby joke.
thanksgiving taking its toll on Sauce. had to go get more gravy at the store myself
I first read that as “gravy store” and just laughed and shook my head and said “only in Indiana…”
really underserved market, didnt find any hint on the internet. Feels like something Culver’s or Crack Barrel should roll in to
As a seasonal thing (November & December) you could probably make a killing in any Midwestern state.
“The combustible Argentine…”
Buddy, just say ‘Argentine’; we can fill in the rest.
“These London rivals….”
There’s like 4 teams in the Premier League that aren’t in London, and two of those are in Manchester.
My daughter is hanging out doing laundry.
Me: “Jesus Christ, Arsenal are playing like they just met in the parking lot 5 minutes before the game”
Daughter Horatio: “Maybe they were hanging out in the parking lot five minutes before the game”
/makes pot-smoking motion
Predator Energy seems like a product Bill Cosby should be endorsing.
Okay, doubling up usually is ass, let’s not pretend working 16 straight hours at anything is always fun or easy.
The last two callers I just had couldn’t have been better, though. The first was the former victim of a theft from a laundromat earlier this month. The caller had security footage of the incident, and immediately recognized another patron inside the laundromat as the thief from the video. She managed to contact me, keep him inside without arising suspicion, and flag down the police. She was calm, cool, pissed off (understandably), and followed every instruction I gave her. A+
The second was another woman on her way to her sister’s apartment. Sister has been puking all morning, too dizzy to stand for more than literally 60 seconds, and shaky. My caller had never been to her sister’s place, and not only found it easily, managed to get the landlord to let her in. She then got sister down to the “lobby” (it’s a big house converted into apartments), and flag down the EMTs. Again, calm, cool, collected, and followed orders brilliantly.
Having back-to-back callers in genuine emergency situations be that calm and cooperative happens about as often as Lowratio having a night off after a Cowboys’ win (or loss).
Didn’t expect this to become a short novel. tl;dr not all callers are panicky idiots
It’s a good thing it’s 11 on 10, because if Chelsea had 11 they might win 5-0.
This is a pathetic effort by Arsenal.
Merino: “Shut the fuck up, Horatio”
Since im sure you’re all dying to know about my playoff woes…
I’ve gone from a 60% chance of winning, thus guaranteeing a playoff spot…
This…
Even worse now, this is going to set me back in tie breakers, so if this loss goes through, and all of the other projected matchups go as predicted, it’ll create a 4 way tie for the last playoff spot, meaning not only do i have to win next week, I have to make up the tie breaker as well.
This is some next level “God is fucking with me” shit.
Haven’t seen this much violence at Stamford Bridge since that unpleasantness between Harold Godwinson and the Norwegians.
Alright, I’m going out to get food. Tell the 49ers and Browns they don’t have to wait for me to return. As a matter of fact, they can start early. Or do a coinflip to decide the winner. Or a spelling bee.
That should have been a red card. And apparently still might be with the looming VAR review.
I’d give the guy a red card for the shitty acting job alone.
Anthony Fucking Taylor (legally, “Fucking” should be his middle name) is easy to fool, thank fuck for VAR in this instance.
/and really, at least 90% of the time, VAR is warranted and correct
Hard to argue with that one.
The announcers keep saying what an entertaining game this is, but I think Arsenal’s up 6-3 on yellow cards with Chelsea leading 1-0 on reds and that, to me anyway, does not equal entertaining.
Now, if this was a hockey game that would be a different story.
Yeah, it’s been schiesse porn. Handsome Mikel better take every dude on a yellow off at HT.
That many Yellow Cards in the 1st Half? I don’t know much about soccer but that level of extracurricular b.s. does bring off mid-2010s Bengals-Steelers vibes.
Okay, after three Yellow Cards it might be time to go to throw up a Red Card to make a point to the players to quit messing around!
One of the Chelsae guys got a red car for a flying kick to an Arsenal player’s ankle.
There were at least two yellow cards after that.
If this were a hockey game we’d be talking about line brawls by now.
Either the state of Lousiana or (more likely) the state of Mississippi is about to burn. And not due to Das RAYCESS! for a change…
.
I would miss New Orleans.
Mississippi not so much.
Its decided. Light up, Mississippi. Let’s wear white robes and hoods! Really go full circle and teach those racist hicks a lesson about irony.
Torn between Brenton Strange and Oronde Gadsen at the tight end spot in Freezer Vodka because I live a full, gratifying life.
Just took a call from a nurse in an old folks home who says her elderly female patient says she hasn’t eaten in two weeks. What’s far more troubling is that the nurse and other staff members can’t confirm or deny this. They’re not sure.
Two weeks is a seemingly long enough time to notice if someone under your care and supervision has eaten.
Right?
Right.
Nursing home malpractice is a lucrative area for litigation for just this reason.
That’s exactly the reason why Dad and my Grandma decide to do At-Home Hospice Care! At least they’d knew the caretakers would give a shit.
So did my Dad. You gave him a wonderful gift there, letting him die at home. May we all get that grace, when our time comes.
We had a good system. Even the Palliative Care and Hospice Care of SW Ohio really helped up near the end. We were both lucky and blessed.
I’ve heard a lot worse stories on Facebook.
oh yeah, without a doubt. And Hospice folks are the closest thing to angels walking on earth. Just remarkable people.
I’d shout “Go Gunners!” but I’m worried that Pete Hegseth will pick it up on surveillance and think I’m asking him to order the murder of more shipwrecked South Americans.
BLEERGHKAKKE in Chelsea.
Arsenal isn’t listed on Peacock? TELEMUNDO TO THE RESCUE!
Fine, I’ll upload it…
It’s on USA
I am once again torn between starting Darnold and Purdy as my second QB but have decided I like Darnold in the revenge game. I’m sure that choice will turn out to be stupid.
Yes but will it be regular stupid or stupid like a fox?
Due to weather you made the right choice.
It’s misty and cold here in Los Angeles, which is perfect for today’s agenda: fútbol followed by football while making chicken stock.
Opinion request: I have about 2 cups of old stock left from the last batch. Should I mix this in with the new batch so I have super-stock?
How old is it? Would Matt Gaetz be interested?
It’s been in the freezer for a couple months.
You can but the stock is still good up to 4 months in the freezer.
I made a big batch of turkey stock yesterday using the leftover carcass.
It’s not a question of whether I can, it’s question of whether I should.
I get it. How gelatinous was the first batch?
Quite.
So keep it and make new stock.
Don’t forget to vacuum!
You laugh but I actually will do the couch just now. Happy wife, happy life.
After Shedeur Sanders’ QB equivalent of Driving the Car Out of the Driveway without Crashing into the Mailbox, NFL Betting “Experts” are saying to give Sanders a chance and bet the Browns to cover.
rip swagger he was the first to try to make fetch happen ppl forget that
What a gorgeous dog.
It’s so Browns that he got cancer and had a stroke and passed away after just six short years.
…and of course, I have 49ers-Browns on the CBS 1PM slot. I guess I could also do something more productive like doing laundry, raking leaves, slowly hammering a nail into my head, Christmas shopping.