Coach Desperate For A Win Meets Same

I guess that’s just the way it goes at this juncture of the season. Pitt would like to distance themselves from Baltimore (who wouldn’t though?) and Miami is clinging to the thinnest of hopes of getting into the playoffs. But first…

Flotsam and Jetsam:

-Can You Spare an ACL?: Parsons, Mahomes and some guy on the Ravens had their knee go the wrong way. Sure, the loss of any difference-maker on a team will hobble the chances of a playoff birth but Micah going away should have an out-sized effect on Green Bay’s D. As regards Patty, the Chiefs haters regarded his owie as icing on the cake.

-Who’s Next?: Jeff Simmons house was burgled about the same time that he was catching a TD play. That’ll teach you for showing off. He now joins a list of fellas that include SGA, Burrow and Shadeur and that fat, whiny bitch on the Lakers that have been victims of this practice. Police don’t have any leads yet but are monitoring Tik Tok around the clock because these robber types sometimes just can’t help themselves and will post their new ill-gotten wares.

-How ‘Bout Them Jags?: That’s five straight for Florida’s other pro football team. I heard one guy say that it doesn’t seem legit because they don’t have a signature win and I’d agree with him if they hadn’t beaten the Chiefs, Texans and Chargers. Girlfriend has gone 13 TD/4 INT during this run which isn’t eye-popping but is fairly well above his usual output.

-Chiefs Emasculation Day: (I call it that because they had their nuts chopped off yesterday) I’ve no more to say.

To The Game!

Fins/Steelers:

-A half-decent indicator of how Pitt is doing defensively is the fact that they’re -3 in turnover differential. These aren’t your abusive dad’s Steelers.

-Kinda strange that both these guys are still on a warm-ish seat. They can both coach but have they run their course?

-Rodgers threw for a season-high 284 yards last week-I wouldn’t expect more of that tonight…although, that Fins D has had its troubles.

-If Pitt achieves the W their chances of playing an extra game rise to 72%.

-Since week 9 Achane leads all his brethren is average scrimmage yards with 147. That’s impressive given that he’s only been targeted in the pass game once in the last two tilts. Is there another injury (aside from ribs) that he’s nursing?

-Watt is out with Tyroditis, otherwise known as a collapsed lung.

Be gentle in the comments.

 

 

 

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Redshirt

The Dolphins do know if the 4th Quarter, right?

Gatoraids

Tua doesnt know its the year 2025 let alone 4th quarter

Horatio Cornblower

Doesn’t feel pressured playing on Monday Night Football because no one tells him that he’s playing on Monday Night Football.

Horatio Cornblower

This is the first time I’ve watched the Manningcast. I’m trying to give it a chance but holy Christ, this is painful.

Gatoraids

Keaton earlier was fun, but this is what the 4th quarter of this game deserves

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And yet so much better than the regular crew

Gatoraids

hahaha doomed by the fins running a gaming winning 2 min drive down by 3 scores

Beerguyrob

I just got home. Why is Joe Buck taking personal offence at how Miami is running out the clock?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah it’s not like he’s punching a clock. He gets paid the same either way.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s heartwarming to hear Joe Buck show some appreciation for the nepotism that provided the foundation for his entire career.

Redshirt

Time to see if Tua is as bad as he sounds on radio.

Wakezilla

He’s visually worse and a lot slower

Gatoraids

Let Jason Taylor free from this

Horatio Cornblower

No way, I just learned that he’s the first former basketball player to make the transition to football!

WCS

Nice to know Arthur Smith knows Jonnu Smith is still on the roster.

ballsofsteelandfury

Who can we bribe to make it so the Steelers play on Monday Night Football every week?

WCS

Not sure, but, I’ll contribute…

Senor Weaselo

Am I going to lose to Maestro because *checks notes* I started Jefferson over Pitts and Warren over Gainwell? Because it looks like it.

WCS

Took 20 fucking minutes just to get signed in tonight. That’s a great harbinger of things to come, I’m sure.

At least the game seems to be going fairly well.

Redshirt

You are losing 21-3. WHY ARE YOU TAUNTING?!?!?!

Gatoraids

controller button stuck?

NotShogunButShogun

Big head mode activated!

ArmedandHammered

Brain freeze!

SonOfSpam

Best time, they’ll never expect it.

Redshirt

Bring in MILF Hunter Z!

litre_cola

Dear God, I love that nickname.

Wakezilla

Holy fuck, get Tua out of there

SonOfSpam

-Tua’s brain, 30 seconds after he takes a sack

Gatoraids

Nooooooooo I still need .28 points between Steelers D and kicker. All the hate is flowing through me ( fins will screw me with meaningless touchdown at end)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Xc-WxSoYp4

NotShogunButShogun

Kevin Harlan: because even speshul games deserve bombastic delivery.

Gumbygirl

He’s one of the very few I can stand!

Beerguyrob

He’s Al Michaels with enthusiasm.

SonOfSpam

DK Metcalf is still a bad man.

Gumbygirl

That was beeyoutiful!

Gatoraids

David Boston think he has a vitamin problem

NotShogunButShogun

Does SpongeBob have incriminating evidence of nfl owners in a hot tub? Ads for that damn movie have been all over every nfl broadcast

Gatoraids

think we can all agree this game is spongebob worthy

NotShogunButShogun

Elaine disagrees

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Brings back some memories…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTD6ERDUOQE

BugEyedBoo

Overthinking it, but humanity has no problem killing other humans by the millions. Why are the Na’vi still a problem?

Gatoraids

just bored?

Doktor Zymm

Can’t use em as slave labor if you kill them all

BugEyedBoo

They didn’t need slave labor when they switched from unobtanium to whale jism or whatever they were getting from those whales.

Horatio Cornblower

Can’t make 3-4 sequels if you nuke the entire population in the first movie.

Which, let’s face it, is what would happen in that situation.

Doktor Zymm

Insurmountable lead, I’m gonna go read my bookybook

jjfozz

Whatcha readin’?

Doktor Zymm

I’m on the fourth Thursday Murder Club book

Gumbygirl

I need to find the second one. The library over by my SIL’s house might have a copy, it’s way better than the one over here.

litre_cola

I am in the wrong sequence, I think I read #1, and am now reading #4

Beerguyrob

The movie was good.

Gumbygirl

Got my walk in, missed most of the second quarter. I got nailed by the sprinklers twice, the ones up by me don’t come on until much later. Some of the nabes went all out on the Christmas lights, that was nice. I didn’t bother this year, I’ll be in and out over the holiday.

jjfozz

Soaking in placentas six days a week has really kept Berman looking young.

Gatoraids

He thought was a plate of lasagna

WCS

That seemed like a quick first half?

NotShogunButShogun

Not fast enough

Horatio Cornblower

“Look at these pussy announcers, shivering at halftime because they can’t take a little chill in the air.”

-Me, sipping cocoa while inside dressed in sweats and with my feet tucked into puffy North Face slippers.

WCS

This is the Whitest post on this site this week.

NotShogunButShogun

Give it time… it’s only monday

litre_cola

Last Friday certainly had some white folk posts.

NotShogunButShogun

Shhhh!!!

Horatio Cornblower

Don’t be a tool.

Horatio Cornblower

/Stephen Miller has entered the chat

Gatoraids

Joe Buck Mind Virus spreading

jjfozz

“After eating a gigantic Miracle Whip on white bread sandwich.”

NotShogunButShogun

I think zesty tang isn’t allowed.
*my high school nickname*

jjfozz

I do not like the tush push
I do not like it all
I do not like in the winter
I do not like it in the fall
I think it is lame and also hate the name
When a team decides to use it
The game goes right to shit
I do not like the tush push

WCS

Haldo

Horatio Cornblower

Guessing Lainey Wilson is Balls’s favoUrite country singer.

comment image

For reasons.

jjfozz

That is one nice hind end

ballsofsteelandfury

Absofuckinglutely

ThePirateSloth

Next time any of y’all are in Seattle, you should hit up Salumi’s. Bourdain did an episode on them years ago, I snagged a sammich before I left town and they are just as delicious as they were when I lived here. Or you can order salami to be shipped, though it’s a bit more expensive than I remember.

https://salumideli.com/

litre_cola

Darnell Washington is my new favoUrite TE. What a monster.

Wakezilla

He sure has embraced the Steelers’ culture of holding on every play

Redshirt

He’s what happens when you teach an Offensive Lineman to catch the ball.

NotShogunButShogun

Every field goal, barbasol donates to the Kurt and Brenda Warner Treasure House

Pharmaceuticals and leather straps ain’t cheap folks! She’s cray-cray and fighty!

Gumbygirl

She is a scary bitch. I would cross the street.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Do you think she could take Kari Lake?

Gumbygirl

Easy. Kari’s all crazy in the head, but that stringy Warner bitch is nuts all over.

NotShogunButShogun

Must…not…make nuts joke…

Gumbygirl

Those too, probably.

Wakezilla

What a kick by Patterson!

Doktor Zymm

Eli looks decent in the gold crushed velvet pants, but they do NAWT match the grey quarter-zip sweater. Man cannot put together an ensemble

Gatoraids

glad little Eli wasnt peaking out in those pants

Doktor Zymm

He strikes me as a tighty-whities kind of guy, so he’s probably well contained

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Wait, it’s possible for underwear to not contain a man?” – Deanna Favre, who wants to know more

jjfozz

“Mom said when I’m eleventeen I can pick out my own clothes!”

jjfozz

Who are these two blonde twats who do commercials for a hotel chain? Track them down and dip them in acid.

litre_cola

I need 1 more damn catch from DK to win the only other FF ‘yoff game (apart from Lowratio) that I made this year.

Gatoraids

Eli and pepe getting little to worked up already over Lainey Wilson.

Doktor Zymm

I have no idea who she is, but I guess a country singer based off all the CMAs chatter

Gatoraids

same, wonder who they did a gomer pyle super cut in their first reaction

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSpBwt4hFN8

ballsofsteelandfury

This is why you hardly ever see the Steelers on RedZone…

jjfozz

Head slap and partial facemask, never change Pittsburgh, you sacks of shit.

Wakezilla

How’re we doing, gang? Ready to watch the Dolphins win tonight so they can make the fans believe, before ultimately just missing the playoffs?

jjfozz

Ravens are following the same path

Gatoraids

I belieeeve a new QB is our future, draft them well and let them leaaaaaaad the way.

Wakezilla

Oh, we definitely need a better QB1. But with Tua’s contract, I’d wait a year before drafting one, and set the table at this year’s draft.

Gatoraids

yeah definitely have time to let him sit on bench of learn instead of starting day 1

Gumbygirl

Ugh. I was going to take my walk at halftime. Putting my shoes on now.

ThePirateSloth

I gotta admit the train ride south from Seattle goes thru some picturesque countryside.

litre_cola

These teams aren’t very good at footed ball.

ballsofsteelandfury

They aren’t entertaining, that’s for sure.

Redshirt

What the Steeler version of the Tush Push called? The Carnegie Crush?

ThePirateSloth

I dunno if there is a name, but this guy is certainly interested in watching

comment image/revision/latest?cb=20160214191023

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He works hard, and he plays hard.

litre_cola

Oh Tua never change.

Gatoraids

Tua with brain freeze will be a treat

Gatoraids

Me playing Steeler’s D against phins and needing some points will cause me to reach the height of demonification one way or the other during this game.

Gumbygirl

You just got some points!

Gatoraids

yes already cackling, not quite a td return but I know Tua has it in him

jjfozz

The Porter Family Crest is just one giant asshole. That’s all. No stripes, bars, oak leaves, just one giant asshole.

Redshirt

When I saw that Joey Porter was somehow involved in That Wild Card Game, suddenly it all made sense.

BugEyedBoo

IIRC he ran out on the field, which is an Unsportsmanlike Conduct penalty.

Redshirt

No flag on him. If it was, Pac-Man’s foul would’ve offset. Steelers would be in far field goal range due to Burfict attempted murdering Brown but not a gimme. Those refs were extra special that game.

Not partial towards or against one side, just lost control of the game.

BugEyedBoo

You’re right about both. Porter should have got called for that, and the refs let that game get out of control.

My wife loves the Steelers. After the game she said, “That game was awful.”

jjfozz

So, through a variety of fights, hysteria, and more fighting, we didn’t attend a holiday party for my wife’s side of the family. both of my sons texted an apology to their grandparents. neither has texted back. should i be angry or just forget about it?

Redshirt

Your sons showed maturity by reaching out and apologizing for their actions. You should complement them while looking for signs of brainwashing or replication.

jjfozz

I definitely complimented them. If their grandfather wants to act like a whiny bitch, that’s life.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Perhaps now is a good time to bring up my burgeoning affinity for the Jenny Nicholson experience, in particular her analysis of terrible literature:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMgMr0JcYJ4

jjfozz

Can’t find this book anywhere

Horatio Cornblower

Based on Scotchy’s description I’d look for it on any lawn that the neighborhood kids are scared to step on.

Gumbygirl

Where did they dig up this goober?

Last edited 2 months ago by Gumbygirl
NotShogunButShogun

Hey, Carter’s dead. Let him rest

Gatoraids

he was qb of the cowboys in the 90s?

Redshirt

If I see Mark Malone or Cliff Stoudt taking snaps for Pittsburgh, I’m turning off the TV and calling it quits for the 2025 NFL Season.

BugEyedBoo

My wife’s hoping for Neil O’Donnell.

Redshirt

I think the Titans are saving him for Week 18. Every team is doing a QB Throwback Game.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I nominate Jason Campbell for the Raiders!

And the Lions can give Charlie Batch a spin!

jjfozz

Oh boy Joe Buck made a 6-7 joke. Another reason to bury him alive.

ballsofsteelandfury

Tonight will be very interesting.

No one should be betting on this game.

Gumbygirl

I have no fucking clue.

Redshirt

I just placed a bet on Longest Completion by Waddle and called it a day.

jjfozz

57 years old and Road Runner cartoons still make me laugh out loud.