Your “YA BETTER START SOMEBODDDDDYYYYYY” MNF Open Thread

ST. MICHAEL CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL, FOOTBALL FIELD — FAIRHOPE, ALABAMA — TWO WEEKS AGO

COACH RIVERS: Alright boys, bring it in! Bring it in!

[Practice ends and groups of boys rush over and encircle their Coach]

RIVERS: Great hustle out there today, boys! Defense, we got some work to do, but I’m really liking what I’m seeing on offense and special teams.

[The team nods and murmurs in agreement]

RIVERS: Now that being said, I’m worried some of you are liking what you are seeing too much in the showers after practice too! And you know I won’t allow that kind of Devilry on my team!

RIVERS: I’ve got my eye on you, BRAYDEN! And you best keep your eyes up on the Lord and off on my son’s SIN HOLE! YOU GOT THAT?!

RIVERS: [Phone ringing] Hold on ya bunch of eunuchs, I gotta take this call.

[CELL PHONE FILES OPEN]

RIVERS: YA BETTER CALL SOMEBODDDDDYYYYYY!!!!

SHANE STEICHEN: Phil? It’s Coach Shane from the Indianapolis Colts. Hey, I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t an emergency, but we have a situation over here and we were wondering if you’d consider coming in for a workout as soon as possible?

RIVERS: A workout? At QB?! What happened with Anthony Dickhead and that Italian Eli Manning looking kid?

STEICHEN: They’re both down and the only kid in our corner is a banged-up rook.

RIVERS: And so, what? I’m the last call on your list?

STEICHEN: Actually, you’re my first. And I know you had your differences with management the last time you were here, but things have changed…

RIVERS: I heard the old pillbox finally caught up with that blue haired heathen junkie. [Turns and looks at his team and covers the phone] Alright boys! Looks like Coach Phil is once again chosen by Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to lead men on the field of battle! [Uncovers the phone] YA BETTER START SOMEBODDDDYYYYYY!!!!

It has been nearly a decade since I have made it a point to sit down and watch a specific NFL game, but last week’s amazing desperation start by the Colts brought me out of my Spanoi-induced hibernation to cheer on His Holiness, The High Commander, King Laserface as he gets straight up off the couch to nearly secure the victory over Seattle, only to then throw a desperation INT on the last play. I could’ve sworn I’d been transported back to 2008.

Now, a week later, Rivers is back out there again giving it a shot against the 49ers on MNF! The thought of him coming out of retirement to potentially take the Colts to the post season and maybe knock the Spanoi out is certainly not something I had on my bingo card this year, but I will absolutely welcome this faint light in our current darkest timeline.

The 49ers are… 10-4? As someone who has only paid attention to this team when I had Aiyuk on my fantasy team, I had assumed they were having one of those patented down years despite having plenty of talent. Those are fun, but apparently not the case this season. After Rivers managed to a TD and 120 yards on a far superior Seattle defense, I am looking forward to seeing what he can do against these guys. It should be the Johnathan Taylor show again tonight, but I would absolutely love to see them open on play action and see what Rivers has in the tank after a week at practice.

HUH? WHAT? HUH? LET’S GO!

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