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Welcome to 2026 JV NFL Thread

King Hippo

/

,

Oh Christ, let’s see how this one can get even shittier!  Fucking THEEEEEE, making Da U a thing again.

There is also a smattering of footy today, but only Championship (CBSSN at 10:00) in the morning.  Even England is being dickholes.

5 Oregon (-2.5) v. 4 Guns Up!! – Fuck You LOLfin Crypto Owl (Noon, ESPN)

It would be difficult to be any wronger than Hippo has been all season long.  But I just don’t get this one.  Texas Tech has a murderous DL (hell, entire front seven) and Quackers have looked mid all season.  I mean, much better than James Madison.  But STILL.

9 Roll Damn Tide (+7) v. 1 Indiana Fightin’ Brockys – Old Man Flower Parade Owl (4:00, ESPN)

Waaaahhhhh, the whole JV NFL calendar has to revolve around a Q4 sunset in a stupid SoCal suburb.  But I will admit, having Bama and the Cignetti machine face off here?  Kind of cool.  But it still should be played in Bloomington this is such a DUMB way to handle a post-season.

6 Johnny Reb (+6.5) v. 3 Georgia – High Fructose Corn Syrup Owl (8:00, ESPN)

Perhaps the only matchup that will have a live wire crowd, as N’Awlins is within driving range of two fairly large and absolutely rabid fanbases.  UGA has the “well-oiled killing machine” going, as they face off against the big spurned lover energy of the Rebs.  The first matchup in Athens was pretty damned fun, so maybe plan to stay up late.  OK, TRY to stay up late.

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Redshirt

2025: Chaotic Evil.
2026: Chaotic Neutral.

3
WCS

Hey, looking up!

4
Redshirt

Oh, shit. There is one second left.

2
Redshirt

To hell with it. Play with the stage on the field

3
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s a pretty hilarious ending.

2026 is starting out pretty well!

2
Horatio Cornblower

These officials need to be led off the field by security. No one gives a fuck about the free kick. Shut up.

2
Horatio Cornblower

And they threw a flag on the last play.

This crew should never work again.

1
Redshirt

If that last flag was on Ole Miss, we would’ve seen another Woody Hayes moment, but this time against an official and perfectly justified.

2
Redshirt

Walkoff Safety? Why not?!

1
Horatio Cornblower

Crying SEC fans never fail to make me feel good.

Grow up; your team lost a football game. You’re in New Orleans; you can find something to help you get over it in about a minute-and-a-half.

3
WCS

IT JUS MEENS MAOR PAWWLLL.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Prime consoling opportunity.

This is what young college men live for ..

2
Beerguyrob

They can still vote Tuberville in as Governor in November to make themselves feel better.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Mississippi will get what it deserves, of that I’m sure.

0
Redshirt

Welp…

0
Redshirt

Ow. That receiver is going to be pissing blood after that kidney shot.

2
Horatio Cornblower

Probably not.

There’s no way that hit didn’t also knock his dick off.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Or broke his arm

0
Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, when all the organs on the right side of your body suddenly get moved over to the left side of your body one does tend to stay down for a bit.

Last edited 4 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
1
Horatio Cornblower

I would tend to agree that was pass interference if the WR didn’t grab the defender’s facemask and yank his head into the receiver’s chest.

3
Redshirt

No, no, that’s textbook pass interference. The idiot in the zebra shirt just pointed to the wrong direction.

2
Redshirt

Just noticed the score. Is the Sugar Bowl a good game or a stupid game?

0
Horatio Cornblower

Some from column A, some from column B.

The facemask call WCS and I were on about down below was definitely in the “stupid” category.

1
Redshirt

That’s why I avoid the point spread and over/under bets and stick with prop bets.

IMG_2815
Last edited 4 months ago by Redshirt
3
Horatio Cornblower

Frazier’s done. The legs are not designed to bend that way.

0
WCS

That missed facemask wins Jawja the Natty. Mark it down.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Oh, I believe the markets already had.

0
Horatio Cornblower

That missed facemask call brought to you by DraftKings! DraftKings! For all of your questionable officiating needs!

1
WCS

Bananacakes! Git yer fresh bananacakes here! Extra Sugar this time!

0
Horatio Cornblower

Moar like the Banana Bowl, amirite?

/I am most certainly not right

0
yeah right

Well at least tomorrow is Friday because this motherfucker has to go to work.

Two more full years then a partial.

Hell yes I’m counting down.

Sleep well me droogies!

9
yeah right

Get a bit of spatska.

1
2Pack

It will go by in no time.

2
Horatio Cornblower

OK, Georgia, mad respect for that fake punt.

0
WCS

I haven’t posted in a night thread since last year.

Three calls into the first shift of 2026, and we’ve got shots fired and someone down in the street.

Merry New Year, indeed.

How are you?

6
Horatio Cornblower

Well, I’m not down in the street, so not as bad as could be.

0
Beerguyrob

Just finished the last of the leftovers, so I may need the Canadian number for 911.

1
WCS

Y-Y-Z

3
Beerguyrob

Would also have accepted 2-1-1-2.

1
yeah right

.

2
Horatio Cornblower

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Last edited 4 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
1
Redshirt

Actually, this is the Day Thread, and it wouldn’t surprise me if this remains the Friday thread.

3
Horatio Cornblower

THIS GAME I CALL IT PICKETT’S CHARGE, BECAUSE OF ALL THE KEY MISTAKES MADE BY THE REBELS!!!!

/tips hat to McDonough for using the phrase ‘key mistakes by the Rebels’

2
yeah right

It’s actually Green Acres, Beverly Hillbillies and Peticote Junction, not Hooterville Junction.

Maybe that’s to throw of the non revolutionaries.

0
Brocky

Holy crap, I’ve just realized something….

Not only did IU win their first playoff game, it’s their first bowl game win since forever.

Technically not their first bowl game win in my life (they won a meaningless bowl game when I was an infant) But still

FUCK YEAH IU ROSE BOWL CHAMPS

goes outside

once again breaks the window on someone’s SUV like Latimore from The Program

10
yeah right

Breaks a side window with his wing Wang.

1
Beerguyrob

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1
Horatio Cornblower

Wow, a Joe Judge led offense fucked up that badly?

Who could have seen that coming?

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

DO IT FOR ELISHA!

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3
Horatio Cornblower

BUT DO IT BEFORE 10:15 PM, BECAUSE WE ARE NOT HAVING A REPEAT OF WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME HE STAYED UP LATER THAN THAT!!!

-Olivia Manning

9
SonOfSpam

Is Vecna still giving him nightmares?

0
Horatio Cornblower

Stil not sure who Vecna is.

0
Doktor Zymm

It’s good to see his Manningface is developing ahead of schedule

1
Mr. Ayo

Happy New Years! A perfect time to RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!

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10
Gumbygirl

I went to a Golden Knights game in Vegas. They suck, lost 5-2 to Minnesota, but it’s a fun Vegassy spectacle. They even have showgirls! I’d post a couple of pics, but we all know that will end in tears.

2
Mr. Ayo

I went there last year. Loved the aisle gals.

Last edited 4 months ago by Mr. Ayo
2
Gumbygirl

.

0
Gumbygirl

Yup, an exercise in futility!

3
Horatio Cornblower

comment image?s=1024×1024&w=gi&k=20&c=OCseksvAcCa6AV7U3VZo_d20ptXaMm6-_W0wVPZeLAs=

Last edited 4 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
0
Horatio Cornblower

Jesus Christ, these women are vampires!

2
Brocky

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Last edited 4 months ago by Brocky
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Beerguyrob

Worse curses.

0
Horatio Cornblower

I’d like to see Mississippi State win it all, just to shove it up Lane Kiffin’s ass.

6
Gumbygirl

I am wearing my Georgia sweatshirt, that should be the kiss of death for them.

0
Brick Meathook

I’ve been watching all this post-game crap to see the Alabama coach’s press conference.

Get on the stick, ESPN, let’s see it.

1
Redshirt

Oh, why? WHY?! WHY?!…wasn’t Nick Saban still coach so we’d see his reaction to this loss.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

He was in the pregame show…

0
Gumbygirl

I know yinz will never believe me, but many of my Alabama friends know Nick Saban, and by all accounts he’s a good guy.

1
Mr. Ayo

Correct. We don’t believe you.

3
Beerguyrob

Finally, a Simpsons edit that speaks to me.

157EA152-479E-4FC0-B175-73DB63811FA0
10
Downfield Matriculator

Good to see the hamster got up and running and DFO is back. I went to wash the dog at halftime — she fricking hates the hosedown but she still had a much better afternoon than ‘Bama.

3
Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised

Aim away! AIM AWAY!

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

As the New Year gets underway, don’t forget to remind any Notre Dame fans you know that they smell like bitch.

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8
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Some of us are already two days into 2026, catch up.

3
ballsofsteelandfury

Any AFL scoops while you’re down there?

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I ran into Mason Cox in New Zealand. He doesn’t look like he’s training much since he got delisted and then signed with Freo. Do with that what you will.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s pretty funny

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Please do tell us more about your encounters with Cox in New Zealand…

2
Brick Meathook

Speaking of the Rose Bowl, here’s:

Breezing Up (A Fair Wind)
Winslow Homer, 1873-1876
National Gallery of Art, Washington DC

IMG_0859
3
blaxabbath

ESPN Headline: “D’oh!”: Simpson Exits Bowl Game With Injury

6
yeah right

Just cooking for myself today.

It’s best when this was done intentionally.

And it was.

1000023739
6
ballsofsteelandfury

Holy shit! I step away to go to the kitchen to make some lunch and Indiana has pimp slapped the shit out of Bama!

4
Redshirt

We’ve now reached the “Let’s Tease Everyone With the Over/Under Line” part of this murderdeathkilling.

0
LemonJello

Will there be more, or less, cousin fucking by Bama fans after they watch their team getting ass blasted by the Hoosiers?

2
Redshirt

Less, they’re going back to their parent-sibling. They don’t want to associate with losers.

0
Senor Weaselo

Yes.

3
Doktor Zymm

Went to the store, and dropped off some stuff in the basement, then turned out the basement lock was broken and there was a whole to-do. That’s enough productivity for the day methinks!

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Too much, I’d say. You should scale back things tomorrow to get things back into balance.

3
King Hippo

Good jorb, Tide. Unlike Texas Tech, y’all at least managed to score while being pistol whipped.

1
blaxabbath

At least they can so root for the Arizona [Possibly-Treasonous?] Wildcats.

0
Redshirt

Hey, who gave the DFO Hamster permission to take New Years off?

5
SonOfSpam

Man, if it wasn’t for Ohio State, I’d say the Big 10 is pretty good.

2
NotShogunButShogun

We’re back?

4
Horatio Cornblower

As much as I enjoy laughing at the Notre Dame fans when they were excluded from the play-offs, Alabama is the one of the three teams on the edge, (Miami being the other), that did not belong.

3
Mr. Ayo

ROLL DAMN TIDE!

To the garbage bin. Another shit playoff game.

3
Beerguyrob

Saban truthers are worse than the Bear Bryant truthers I remember from my youth. I think it’s the different calibre of racism.

2
Horatio Cornblower

Sunderland defeat Manchester City, 0-0.

2
Horatio Cornblower

Jesus, Doku just killed a guy.

0
King Hippo

been a much better fixture than I expected (keep flipping back and forth)

1
Horatio Cornblower

Same

0
Horatio Cornblower

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2
Senor Weaselo

Scott Sterling plays defenCe now?

0
SonOfSpam

Just now getting around to Chapter 1-3 of Star Wars?

2
blaxabbath

Blessed is he who has gone so long without…

0
jjfozz

Remember that time my mother in law DIDN’T MAKE A FUCKING COMMENT ON EVERYTHING AROUND HER?

YEAH, ME NEIGHTER.

KILL ME

8
blaxabbath

Scrooged is a holiday movie the Mrs watches. I’ve decided to try and model my outward behavior to match that of John Glover in the film for 2026.

If I can stand it myself, I believe this is the right vibratory frequency to destroy things/people.

1000024533
1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I have started looking at Bryce Cummings as being like Iceman in Top Gun. Supposedly he’d the villain but we’re supposed to be mad at him for being competent and ambitious?

1
Unsurprised

Especially as Frank is going batshit to a debilitating degree to everyone around him.

0
Unsurprised

Tell her to shut the fuck up or get out of your house.

0
King Hippo

Indiana is probably the best-tackling team I’ve seen this season.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Oregon was pretty good earlier today

0
King Hippo

That was probably the best/best executed gameplan I’ve seen all season. Dan Lanning is legit.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Still watching Sunderland hold off Man City, although that looks unlikely to last.

0
King Hippo

I like Curt Cignetti. But he 100% gives off serial killer vibes, just a little more intense (or maybe a bit constipated).

1
jjfozz

With italians it can go either way

6
King Hippo

He was on staff at NC State for several years, and I almost surely attended one of the “coaches’ corner” lunches they used to have (a different coach each week, and I was always up for a buffet with wings). I just can’t remember metting him.

0
jjfozz

yes, but he remembers meeting you. (You’re on the list, buddy.)

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You’re talking about the vibes, not the constipation part, right?

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