The honor of being a One and Done in this year’s playoffs will be decided today! To BaldingSpiritually’s ever-lasting chagrin I’ll be pulling for the team from Cackalina because I called it lo those many months ago. The neutral must give much credit to Dave Canales because he’s squeezed every last bit of talent out of a depleted roster and got them to this point.
To The Game!
Los Panteros/Bucs:
-As befitting this titanic struggle for the right to call themselves NFC South Champeens, both are coming off a loss.
-Wee Bryce Young (he’s all of 5’10”!) has been a bit underwhelming (7 TD’s/3 INT’s) down the stretch.
-Related to the Above: Remember when Rico Dowdle was the bomb in midseason? He’s not run for more than 60 yards in his last seven outings. The league does catch up real quick when a below-average team starts well out of the gate.
-So if the run game is fizzling there’s the pass game to turn to. Outside of Tet (he and Egbuka are neck and neck for rookie receiving yards) that’s not been very impressive. However, both Tampa starting corners are no-shows this afternoon.
-Folks talk about Dan Campbell and his willingness to take the plunge on 4th down but the Panteros have 25 conversions so far this year, the most of any team since at least 1978.
-They say he’s playing injured (remember when he did the same in Cleveland and was promptly shown the door?) and Mayfield’s 8 INT’s in his last 7 tilts lend credence to those rumors.
Let’s do a thing.
the nfc south is going to be decided by an otherwise meaningless game between the nfl’s beavis and butthead
FIRE!
It’s the only way.
a team that called a flea flicker during a rainstorm is two points away from the playoffs
Carolina: “We gotta go deep.”
Commentators: “They gotta go deep.”
Fans: “They gotta go deep.”
Bucs: “WHERE THE ____ ARE THEY GOING TO GO?!“
as with every nfc south playoff contender, carolina absolutely going 5-12 next year
and then bryce young channels his inner sex cannon!
8-9 Playoff Team is happening, and surprisingly its not from the AFC North!
I may have jinxed Tampa Bay to the offseason.
A flea flicker in this weather? Yes, why exchange a slippery ball a single time via a standard handoff, toss, or forward pass when you can do it thrice IN ONE PLAY!
JV Bengals attempted a WR Reverse Flea Flicker last night in similar weather conditions. Their radio commentators missed their commercial cue ripping them a new one for calling it.
That wasn’t a flea flicker. Just a terrible play all around.
That’s even better. A play so bad, your mind tries to rationalize it as a failed gadget play.
I haven’t seen such a blatant lack of forward planning since…well, since early this morning, actually.
That might have been the dumbest thing I’ve seen a professional athlete do. Non-Favre category, anyway.
Let make some noise
Time to howl
RELEASE THE WOLVES!
Derrick Brown playing his heart out-11 tackles so far.
How in fuck was that PI? Two guys running and collide? The only thing consistent in officiating is that they’re inconsistent from call to call.
I think the Panthers keyed the ref’s car on the way in to the stadium
You know how when your wife is talking and you’re just answering so you don’t kill someone?
Well, apparently I agreed to not yelling in the new year.
Either I was completely blacked out drunk when we talked or I was so deep in some kind of psychosis that I actually said ok.
Like it’s gonna fucking happen.
She knows you’re Italian, right??
I got up to put a fuzzy bathrobe on and ended up making cookies (just the frozen slice and bake but still, cookies!)
I am in Ketosis!!!!!…barely.
“Riley Dixon” (pronounced “dicks in”) totally sounds like a porn name.
That implies Riley Reid only took one at a time, something the annual AVN Awards post would likely contradict.
Riley Nixon was (is?) a porn actor.
Nailed It!
— B. Walsh
what is a catch
what is a forward pass
what is a whistle
what is a football move
what is football
All this is why I don’t really get excited for games anymore. I’m not talking conspiracy, but the overall lack of continuity in the rules.
The NFL not being able to define a catch is like Hugh Hefner not being able to define what constitutes an orgy.
The real question is, Dan, what time will Fozz start drinking for tomorrow’s Baltimore game & how much sense will he make?
I’m always conflicted about getting black out drunk for big games.
First, I have to work on Monday, but I work from home.
Second, I worry about my emotions raging otu of control and damage I’ll have to pay for.
I expect to drink on an even keel all day, unleashing the bourbon after the first quarter.
I’ve already suggested to my wife that she go see her parents tomorrow night.
Sounds reasonable.
Back from evening Mass, prayed for all of you heathens, so you’re covered for the week.
Also, just poured me a flagon of bourbon.
I guess you just answered my question.
Please remember to hydrate.
So we are waiting for communion, and a family of six (shocker) walks past us.
First thought through my head, “Wow, those kids got hit by the big nose genetic hammer.”
I’m not sure why I even go. Wait, I go so I don’t have to hear Mrs. Fozz complain.
The Niners ending up with the 1 seed is way too narrative
with so much weird shit happening in the world and the football season it all has to end in status quo somehow:
kyle shanahan fucking up a super bowl
It’s great how the stadium crew gives Florida Man a single syllable three letter word to celibate a first down so they don’t fuck it up.
“First down! Tampa…”
“Boy!”
tricky baker
Wee Bryce, Big Boo-boo
at least white isnt the primary color for the bucs during this rain game https://www.si.com/extra-mustard/2014/07/03/white-sox-fail-team-gives-out-white-ponchos-stadium-filled-kkk-look-likes
So when does the new El Présidente de Venezuela take office?
want this to happen. non-zero chance he gets shot the first day.
“If Señor Kushner even thinks about becoming El Presidente while I am still alive, he will be go right to jail.”
Armisen is godly
Figure of health leader ready to send series of incompetent sons to make sure energy quotes are met
Worth noting that the parallels also extend to pederasty.
The Emperor Maximillian has a couple of warnings for him.
You understand that the Nobel Peace Prize winner is Trump’s and Poolboy Rubio’s puppet, and the Norwegians gave it to her to appease Trump since they won’t give it to him directly even though the Nobel committee and the Norwegians are corrupt fucking scumbags, right?
Just so we’re clear. There are dumbasses here who still think Trump isn’t the guy who green lit CIA operations insider Russia that even Biden’s brain trust balked at.
.
SUDDEN NO CHANGE!
Newsbreak brought to you by Draftkings…now accepting bets on over under number of minutes missing from upcoming Maduro “suicide” tape.
https://bsky.app/profile/peoplesfabric.com/post/3mbk5gprwz22y
So is it gonna be Hegseth or just some random dude he met at a bar that ended up on the chat thread?
It’s weird realizing that the prediction markets are destined to be even more rigged than sports betting or stock options.
It’s basically global three card monte
Nobody Could Have Ever Seen This Coming
Baccarat master Evelyn Tremble cashes out in the end zone! Another victory for a loyal subject of the Crown! Huzzah!
get this shit off the tv
(and this game, too, i guess)
Self portrait in college, ca 1989
THESE BUCS WINNING THIS GAME AND RELYING ON THE FALCONS LEMME TELL YA I CALL THEM THE CONFEDERATE ARMY DUING SHERMAN’S BURNING OF GEORGIA BECAUSE THEY ARE RELYING ON A BUNCH OF DUMB INBREDS FROM ATLANTA TO SAVE THEIR DIPSHIT ASSES
MOAR LIEK Tet-scared-to-fully-extend-ive smgdh
Greetings, gentlemen and others! After a delightful afternoon watching the King’s Finest dismantle the hapless Cherries, I have decided to settle down next to the moving picture box this evening to watch squadrons from two of the Empire’s most prized colonies engage in a skirmish for the right to compete for a Superb Owl. My manservant tells me that the phrase “6-7” has entered the lexicon of many back-injury-riddled individuals all over the world in this year of our Lord. This contest has me thinking, if “6-7” can have its day, why shouldn’t “8-9” be considered cromulent enough to compete for an Owl? I an anxious to hear your thoughts on this matter, my dear colleagues!
I don’t know how much Queen Victoria prized Florida, it was nothing but snakes, skeeters, and swamps during her glorious reign. Just a dangling appendage. But Vic loved her some dick, so maybe she had a warm spot for it.
I wonder if Florida being a penis was the entire rationale for why Ponce De Leon thought the fountain of you was located there?
Makes sense!
Can one blame her? Spotted dick was the most scrumptious dessert available in her era.
How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?
Comes in a can, just like Prince Albert.
a sub-.500 team relying on a random falcons game to clinch the division is the perfect nfc south season
in other words, go bucs, lets go full dumb
I hate Lebron and his midget friend SO MUCH
Fyi I do not remember Rico Dowdle being the bomb, and I’m pretty sure you made up that name entirely.
I remember Rico, Suave. But that was a song. Not a player.
Rico Dowdle might be the bomb, but this Rico has a higher completion percentage.
He was on my team. I got relegated.
Fine, we’ll spot you seven points
Unpack any Falcons swag post haste
Not Great, Bob!!
THIS CAROLINA D I CALL IT THE VENEXUELAN SIR DEFENSE BECAUSE well, u know…
God Fucking Damn It!
I guess I’m going to have to get Cuban, now. Fucking Tits fan.
So it’s blasphemy and then a haiku day. On to Notes!
Nothing screams you’ve got too much crap like moving it. Ten years from now my back is going to remind me of my sins today.
Also my wife said if a coworker were to bark like that Georgia Allstate commercial she’d throw her phone at him.
My default plan the next time I move is still “Light a match.”
Mine was ” rent a dumpster”
“Ha ha, silly Gumbygirl, you don’t have to pay *rent* on these things!” – Ed Reed, inviting you in for a fresh glass of dumpster juice
It’s just a shame that Tet isn’t until Feb 17th making Tet offensive jokes a bit of a stretch
,,
Left looks 15 years younger than the other two. Is this a Trump-sponsored beauty pagent?
World is becoming a dystopian sitcom.
* the White House, not the world. White House.
The White House, a subsidiary of The Trump Organization, owned/operated by the Russian Federation.
Dude …
perfect that the nfc south title will be decided:
-in a rainy, sloppy mess on a random saturday afternoon
-and possibly during a meaningless falcons game nobody cares about
.
Is that Space Mr. Pickle on Patrick’s shoulder? Do starfish have shoulders? They have arms, so maybe?
Plankton!
PAAAAWWLLL what kinda a year is it where Bama cant win the NFC South let alone beat a team from Indiana!!?!
“you mean we coulda played on rookie mode all along?!?!”
What am I, chopped liver?
-United Fruit Company
Snortlaughs in Haliburton.